Commenting on a persons weight loss.

stephenryan758
stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Say someone is losing weight, a lot of weight. Every single day multiple people tell them how much weight they have lost. They say "Wow you look good! Whatever you are doing keep it up."

Then they run into a couple people that haven't seen them since they lost all the weight. They can see them looking up and down and noticing something different, but they never take the time to congratulate the change. Even though multiple other people have done it.

Im just wondering why its so hard for certain people to take the time to congratulate someone on changes that they have made for the better. Does it just come down to the fact that some people just won't ever say nice things to certain people, no matter how many times other people do? To me the attitude these people give off is " No matter how many people notice your weight loss, and no matter how good they say you look, Im not gonna give you the satisfaction of hearing it from me."
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Replies

  • vampirequeen1959
    vampirequeen1959 Posts: 196 Member
    Jealousy or they can't stand the thought that someone they pigeon holed has a fat friend now has to be re-pigeon holed.
  • imju5tme
    imju5tme Posts: 85 Member
    Ummm... sometimes it has nothing to do with that.

    My 5ft tall mother went from 155 lbs to about 105 lbs in a short period of time. She wasn't trying to lose weight. she had liver cancer. :ohwell:

    I know that unless I know SPECIFICALLY that someone is working to lose weight, I try not to say anything because I don't want to congratulate someone on a weightloss that has to do with being on chemo for a life-threatening illness. I'm not being jealous or rude to the individual, I'm just being careful.

    Perhaps some of the folks who have remained silent about your weight loss have a similar mentality to mine.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    At Imju5tme

    These people know the person is perfectly healthy and has been working out to lose weight. They know that they are not losing weight due to a disease.
  • missbaah
    missbaah Posts: 1 Member
    Ummm... sometimes it has nothing to do with that.

    My 5ft tall mother went from 155 lbs to about 105 lbs in a short period of time. She wasn't trying to lose weight. she had liver cancer. :ohwell:

    I know that unless I know SPECIFICALLY that someone is working to lose weight, I try not to say anything because I don't want to congratulate someone on a weightloss that has to do with being on chemo for a life-threatening illness. I'm not being jealous or rude to the individual, I'm just being careful.

    Perhaps some of the folks who have remained silent about your weight loss have a similar mentality to mine.

    That. I never comment on someone's weight loss unless they bring it up. Not only might it be caused by illness or similar, they might not be comfortable talking about it at all for any number of other reasons.
  • lmd_1979
    lmd_1979 Posts: 130
    I would ask them first "Have you lost weight?" then congratulate them or whatever. The ones that don't when they know they're healthy and have been trying to lose weight are probably jealous.
  • Ignaura
    Ignaura Posts: 203 Member
    Why would you expect people to comment or congratulate you? I'm not saying it's a bad thing that people do so, I just don't understand why do you believe people should congratulate you. I personally don't like it when people comment about my weight loss... don't like it and don't need it.
  • ajcmoran2005
    ajcmoran2005 Posts: 173 Member
    Why would you expect people to comment or congratulate you? I'm not saying it's a bad thing that people do so, I just don't understand why do you believe people should congratulate you. I personally don't like it when people comment about my weight loss... don't like it and don't need it.

    This.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    Cause its annoying to think about why people would be jealous enough to not comment on someones weight? How old are we here? 10? I'm not better than anyone but this is how I feel.......... Say a person walks in a room and 9 people say "Wow you look great! You lost a lot of weight."

    Then you have that one person who won't even say hi to you. As an adult that behavior comes off as "How dare everyone give him attention and not me!"

    Very childish and immature.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    Just because you want someone to comment on your weight, doesn't mean someone else wants it too. Commenting on someone's weight is not always well received.
  • mboromom
    mboromom Posts: 85 Member
    I just say "you look great" and keep it moving...
  • Unknown
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  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    Cause its annoying to think about why people would be jealous enough to not comment on someones weight? How old are we here? 10? I'm not better than anyone but this is how I feel.......... Say a person walks in a room and 9 people say "Wow you look great! You lost a lot of weight."

    Then you have that one person who won't even say hi to you. As an adult that behavior comes off as "How dare everyone give him attention and not me!"

    Very childish and immature.

    that is an oddly specific circumstance, and the fact that they dont even say hi to you is the weird part. not the lack of congratualting you on your weight loss
  • anro86
    anro86 Posts: 790 Member
    Because I am socially awkward and afraid whatever I say may sound weird as hell, but I am proud of everyone, no jealousy here! :flowerforyou:
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Cause its annoying to think about why people would be jealous enough to not comment on someones weight? How old are we here? 10? I'm not better than anyone but this is how I feel.......... Say a person walks in a room and 9 people say "Wow you look great! You lost a lot of weight."

    Then you have that one person who won't even say hi to you. As an adult that behavior comes off as "How dare everyone give him attention and not me!"

    Very childish and immature.

    Based on this post alone, I'm going to peg you at around 5.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    These people are not strangers. They have known me for years. Not close family or friends but they still know me very well.

    I for one was always raised to be happy for others if you notice positive changes in them. If someone I knew ran into me and I had heard they lost a lot of weight, when I saw them I would comment on it. No problems and I would greet them with a smile.

    Maybe the people that are not commenting are just not happy with themselves.
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Get over it man. Not everyone is going to say something about weight loss or a new haircut or a new car or whatever it is that we are all proud of about ourselves. That doesn't automatically make them childish or immature. Isn't it enough that you've worked hard and lost the weight?? Or do you really need validation from every person in your life to feel good about something that you deserve to be proud of regardless of whether anyone says something or not?
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    So basically if 9 out of 10 people are happy for someone, but then that 1 person won't even say nice job, then that is mature behavior on their part? Treat others the way you want to be treated. And they wonder why they are miserable.
  • sabianhunter
    sabianhunter Posts: 17 Member
    I guess it depends on the people and your history ---

    When I visited my inlaws at Christmas I figured that someone would notice or mention my weight loss... not a word. They are all much bigger than me and while I get that congratulating the 'skinny girl' on losing ten lbs isn't high on their list of priorities, it's happened in the past when I DIDN'T lose any weight, so it smarted a bit when I have in fact been working my butt off and not one of them mentioned 'hey you look good.' I have to just chalk it up to a bit of envy and go on. I'm not doing it for them or their praise, so i'll get over it. :D
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    Cause its annoying to think about why people would be jealous enough to not comment on someones weight? How old are we here? 10? I'm not better than anyone but this is how I feel.......... Say a person walks in a room and 9 people say "Wow you look great! You lost a lot of weight."

    Then you have that one person who won't even say hi to you. As an adult that behavior comes off as "How dare everyone give him attention and not me!"

    Very childish and immature.

    Not everyone thinks the world should revolve around them.....
  • runitskat
    runitskat Posts: 30
    Maybe they just don't care.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    These people are not strangers. They have known me for years. Not close family or friends but they still know me very well.

    I for one was always raised to be happy for others if you notice positive changes in them. If someone I knew ran into me and I had heard they lost a lot of weight, when I saw them I would comment on it. No problems and I would greet them with a smile.

    Maybe the people that are not commenting are just not happy with themselves.

    Or sometimes saying something about someone's weight comes off as "Hey, you're not fat anymore, congrats!".
  • sfbaumgarten
    sfbaumgarten Posts: 912 Member
    :huh: Wow...
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    So basically if 9 out of 10 people are happy for someone, but then that 1 person won't even say nice job, then that is mature behavior on their part? Treat others the way you want to be treated. And they wonder why they are miserable.

    Instead of focusing on the one person who didn't say something, focus on the nine who did. Jeez man. You're really working hard to find a reason to be hacked off.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,782 Member
    Why do so people not comment on another's obvious weight loss? Probably because they have learned they hard way you can't win for losing.

    Some people get offended when you comment on their weight loss b/c it implies that they were fat, ugly, ad nausum. Some people get offended when you don't comment on their weight loss b/c it implies you just don't care. It is safest to keep quiet. :huh:
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    So basically if 9 out of 10 people are happy for someone, but then that 1 person won't even say nice job, then that is mature behavior on their part? Treat others the way you want to be treated. And they wonder why they are miserable.

    this cant be a real thread
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    There might just be the off chance that there are other things going on in other people's lives that, to them, are bigger and more important than someone who has lost weight.

    If you're upset because not everyone is fawning and congratulating you, that's something you might want to make your next goal to work on.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    At Michele.........

    You know what is ironic about this whole situation?

    The people that do not give comments are the ones that used your weight against you when they could. The ones that do give compliments are the ones that never did.
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    My weight my business, your weight your business.

    Weight loss shouldn't require the validation from others, it's a personal thing.
  • dressagester
    dressagester Posts: 53 Member
    I never comment on a person's weight unless they have shared with me their goals to improve their health.How would I know they aren't battling an illness and their weight loss is unplanned?

    Are you losing weight for your health or for the compliments? Personally I'd rather no one comment on my losses. It's just a reminder of how I let myself get to the place where I needed to lose weight.
  • keeptehpeace
    keeptehpeace Posts: 189 Member
    this is an oddly specific situation and since we don't know your history with this person, I can only assume that they've not been very nice to you in the past so in response you've decided to weirdly anonymously call them out on a public forum - where they will never find out about it - because you were expecting them to suddenly compliment you now that you've lost weight. The world does not revolve around you, and maybe that person knows it.

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