Commenting on a persons weight loss.
Replies
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Why would you expect people to comment or congratulate you? I'm not saying it's a bad thing that people do so, I just don't understand why do you believe people should congratulate you. I personally don't like it when people comment about my weight loss... don't like it and don't need it.
I agree. When people actually say nice things to me about my attempt to lose weight, I feel good but awkward at the same time and then there are people who congratulate you saying - oh how good you look now(implying you were so fat earlier), maybe if you looked like this earlier, you would have a boyfriend today etc. You know these kind of compliments are insulting in a lot of ways implying that you were a fat piece of **** earlier and now that you've lost weight, you're of some value to society.
My point is this, you're doing it for you. And people are noticing, YOU are noticing. No one is obligated to congratulate you. And maybe the ones who don't compliment you - actually like or dislike you for the kind of person you're and are not affected by your weight loss?0 -
I try to be super honest with people, but sometimes not saying anything is nicer than giving an honest opinion. Maybe these people don't think you look better, so instead of lavishing fake compliments on you, they just abstain from saying anything at all. I do this all the time when people get new haircuts that are not very flattering or when someone's outfit is not cute (in my own opinion, of course).
That, or they simply don't care enough to say anything. Is that so mind-blowing? That the world doesn't actually revolve around you, and that people may not be thinking about you constantly? The fact that you seem to think that people are always thinking about you makes me think that you might be quite a bit younger than your profile says....0 -
Coming from a person that posts pictures of their muscles on My fitness pal and calls themselves Phoenix Warrior.
I do believe that's a personal attack. Do you need a time out?
Is it wrong of me to be PROUD of myself? Btw, I'm not making posts on a public forum whining about how 199 of my interweb friends have yet to compliment my accomplishments. I'm not denying that it feels good to hear but to sit here and banter on like a mad man because you didn't get all the praise you feel you deserve is stupid0 -
I would try to see if from myself and other repliers point of view. I hate it. Someone says "Wow, you've lost a ton of weight!" and I'm hearing "Wow, you used to be so fat!"
Exactly!!! Compliments can be so awkward because of exactly this reason. I don't want to point out anyone's flaws, past or present... or anyone to point out mine.0 -
I get comments here and there. But during the holidays this year, it was not getting a comment that struck me the most : an uncle I see maybe once or twice a year commented on another uncle having lost weight (this uncle was never fat, but he did appear thinner than usual, to which he replied having lost about 10 lbs). Meanwhile I was standing right next to them and I have lost over 30 lbs since he last saw me and he didn't say a word to me. I don't have to get comments from everyone, that's not the issue. I just thought it was odd that he would comment on one and not the other.0
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Weight is such a touchy subject. You never know what peoples intentions are with how they look. You wouldn't want them to say "hey you look fat, are you gaining weight..." so some people take notice and then they will ask a friend or something. All that really matters is that you notice and you are happy. What everyone else thinks is like sprinkles on ice cream.... Some people need it, but most of us don't care if we get them or not because we appreciate the flavor we selected. Good luck in your journey.
^^^^^ This, some people may feel uncomfortable discussing your weight history for fear of offending you. Some people may be envious and some may not care. What matters is that you accomplished something great....FOR YOURSELF. Don't let anyone's lack of response minimize that.0 -
Not to mention the time that I told a colleague, "Wow, you did, like, a total makeover!" only to later find out that she'd been getting chemo and was wearing a wig, there is also the point that sometimes commenting on a person's weight can trigger their eating disorder behaviour, and I don't want to be responsible for that. I stick to things like, "You're looking great!" and leave it at that.
Meanwhile, the person who doesn't say anything to you either didn't notice, doesn't care or doesn't have anything nice to say. Face it, not everyone likes everyone in this world. If all they have to say is, "About time you eased up on the pizza, fatty" would you really wanna hear that?
If they said it like that they would prove they were a bigger *kitten* than not saying anything to begin with.0 -
I will admit the people that are not saying anything are the ones that always thought they were better than others. If you heard the stuff they said about people I can only imagine the things they said about me when I went from skinny to fat. Now Im not fat anymore so they are probably really upset their fat jokes don't make sense about me anymore. Yes it is annoying cause I never did anything to them.
What makes you think that if they ALREADY talk crap about people, they are going to give you any compliments?
And they probably don't think about you as nearly much as you are thinking about them. You should let it go.
Excellent point. OP, not everything is about you.0 -
IMHO- there are people who are so pre-occupied with themselves, they do not notice or take time to wonder what's going on with others. It's just the way they are and don't take it personally
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I get comments here and there. But during the holidays this year, it was not getting a comment that struck me the most : an uncle I see maybe once or twice a year commented on another uncle having lost weight (this uncle was never fat, but he did appear thinner than usual, to which he replied having lost about 10 lbs). Meanwhile I was standing right next to them and I have lost over 30 lbs since he last saw me and he didn't say a word to me. I don't have to get comments from everyone, that's not the issue. I just thought it was odd that he would comment on one and not the other.
He should have complimented you.0 -
Coming from a person that posts pictures of their muscles on My fitness pal and calls themselves Phoenix Warrior.
No wonder your coworkers don't like you.
You are exhibiting the kind of behavior you're claiming they show you.
Classy.0 -
If I don't know the cause of someone's weight loss, I would be hesitant to comment on it because if it's a result of illness, then it would be awkward.
If I know that they are working towards weight loss, I would congratulate them on their success and encourage them to keep it up.
However, I lost 55+lbs in 2012 and up to now people still tell me about my weight loss, and quite frankly, it's become quite annoying really. Not that I'm upset with them, but I wish they would get used to it already. Added to that, if I snack on some ice cream or cake in front of certain people, or something "they" don't expect "me" too have, they'll have to comment on it...like ask if I can eat that, or say "I didn't know you can eat ordinary food". Throughout 2013 into 2014, I have to be explaining that I'm off my weight loss program and I know how to maintain. I used to be this size before in my life you know, so I really don't want to be constantly reminded of how I was for 10years after pregnancy.
It's nice when people commend you, but sometimes it's not nice...I think certain people can begin to throw alot of sarcasm at you after the fact. Like there's someone at work who has been calling me "slim" and making other sarcastic comments for the entire 2013, into 2014 every single time he sees me....but the way he says it, you can hear he's just teasing. Come on....a whole year....and going at it again! Perhaps, it's because I just smile at him when he says it...but I think he goes overboard.
So don't sweat it for the comments. The sincere ones will encourage you...forget those that aren't for real.0 -
I try not to comment on a friend's weight unless it comes up organically -- because to me, saying, "Wow, you look so great now!" has an undercurrent of, "Man, you were really sort of a mess before." Even though it's not an intentional thing, it's not the vibe I want to give people at all.
Example: a couple friends visited recently, and one of them has lost something like 70 or 80 lbs (I'm not sure exactly how much, but she's floating around this website somewhere). Obviously she looks really different, and I'm so impressed by the amount of work she did to get there. But I didn't want the first thing out of my mouth, "Look at all the weight you lost!" I wanted it to be, "Oh my god I haven't seen you in an eternity!"
Eventually the topic did come up, obviously.
TL;DR: there's not always malice behind not mentioning someone's weight loss.0 -
IMHO- there are people who are so pre-occupied with themselves, they do not notice or take time to wonder what's going on with others. It's just the way they are and don't take it personally
The people that don't say anything are very rude to others. That's just how they are. So I guess its not rocket science why they are not saying anything.0 -
some people don't impress easily, maybe X pounds lost to someone isn't that noteworthy.0
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Coming from a person that posts pictures of their muscles on My fitness pal and calls themselves Phoenix Warrior.
Shouldn't you be complimenting her on her muscles?0 -
Coming from a person that posts pictures of their muscles on My fitness pal and calls themselves Phoenix Warrior.
Shouldn't you be complimenting her on her muscles?
I was just being smart with her. She does look good ! 0 -
some people don't impress easily, maybe X pounds lost to someone isn't that noteworthy.
You lost 93 pounds. If someone that knew you didn't comment, what would your reaction be? Do you understand how great 93 pounds is? That is amazing.0 -
IMHO- there are people who are so pre-occupied with themselves, they do not notice or take time to wonder what's going on with others. It's just the way they are and don't take it personally
The people that don't say anything are very rude to others. That's just how they are. So I guess its not rocket science why they are not saying anything.
I bet you're a pleasure to have at parties.0 -
Because of this..........
I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.
The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?
Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
And this is why people/kids have a complex when they don't win or don't get a ribbon when they "participate" in something. Everyone wants to be congratulated for EVERYTHING! It is nice to have recognition now and again, but I am sorry, you shouldn't need it from every person you see. Be your own cheerleader. You will find life to be much easier and much more pleasant that way.0 -
Coming from a person that posts pictures of their muscles on My fitness pal and calls themselves Phoenix Warrior.
Shouldn't you be complimenting her on her muscles?
I was just being smart with her. She does look good !
*Whirr Whirr Whirrr*..................The sound of backpedaling:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Because of this..........
I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.
The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?
Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
And this is why people/kids have a complex when they don't win or don't get a ribbon when they "participate" in something. Everyone wants to be congratulated for EVERYTHING! It is nice to have recognition now and again, but I am sorry, you shouldn't need it from every person you see. Be your own cheerleader. You will find life to be much easier and much more pleasant that way.
I'm not talking about strangers. Im talking about the people that have known you your entire life.0 -
more importantly, caring that much for someone's opinion, are you still in highschool?
I lost a bunch of weight and i'd prefer people not to bring it up, i don't ever bring it up, i did it for myself, not for acknowledgement of random people.
you sound super bitter.0 -
Because of this..........
I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.
The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?
Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
And this is why people/kids have a complex when they don't win or don't get a ribbon when they "participate" in something. Everyone wants to be congratulated for EVERYTHING! It is nice to have recognition now and again, but I am sorry, you shouldn't need it from every person you see. Be your own cheerleader. You will find life to be much easier and much more pleasant that way.
You said a mouthful right there! I'm going to be more mindful of that in rearing my kiddies. Carry on.0 -
Because of this..........
I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.
The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?
Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
And this is why people/kids have a complex when they don't win or don't get a ribbon when they "participate" in something. Everyone wants to be congratulated for EVERYTHING! It is nice to have recognition now and again, but I am sorry, you shouldn't need it from every person you see. Be your own cheerleader. You will find life to be much easier and much more pleasant that way.
I'm not talking about strangers. Im talking about the people that have known you your entire life.
Who cares! Again be your own cheerleader. You will find life to be much easier and much more pleasant that way.0 -
Because of this..........
I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.
The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?
Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
And this is why people/kids have a complex when they don't win or don't get a ribbon when they "participate" in something. Everyone wants to be congratulated for EVERYTHING! It is nice to have recognition now and again, but I am sorry, you shouldn't need it from every person you see. Be your own cheerleader. You will find life to be much easier and much more pleasant that way.
I'm not talking about strangers. Im talking about the people that have known you your entire life.
Hhahaha. You've known the people you work with your entire life? Crazy0 -
I will admit the people that are not saying anything are the ones that always thought they were better than others. If you heard the stuff they said about people I can only imagine the things they said about me when I went from skinny to fat. Now Im not fat anymore so they are probably really upset their fat jokes don't make sense about me anymore. Yes it is annoying cause I never did anything to them.
So you're upset that people who act like jerks are acting like jerks?
Why do you care what these people think?
Or did I miss something else?0 -
I agree. When people actually say nice things to me about my attempt to lose weight, I feel good but awkward at the same time and then there are people who congratulate you saying - oh how good you look now(implying you were so fat earlier), maybe if you looked like this earlier, you would have a boyfriend today etc. You know these kind of compliments are insulting in a lot of ways implying that you were a fat piece of **** earlier and now that you've lost weight, you're of some value to society.
My point is this, you're doing it for you. And people are noticing, YOU are noticing. No one is obligated to congratulate you.
This is so well said!0 -
IMHO- there are people who are so pre-occupied with themselves, they do not notice or take time to wonder what's going on with others. It's just the way they are and don't take it personally
The people that don't say anything are very rude to others. That's just how they are. So I guess its not rocket science why they are not saying anything.
I bet you're a pleasure to have at parties.
I agree...I would avoid complimenting him too just so I could avoid talking to someone so needy....0 -
Because of this..........
I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.
The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?
Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
It would seem the way you want to be treated is to have people talk about you behind your back and call you names. Your behavior is no better than those you seek to excoriate.0
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