Vegetarian with a BF who cannot be filled
wordena
Posts: 177 Member
I am a vegetarian and do not prepare meat in my house, though I have no problem with people or loved ones consuming meat around me. My BF is around a lot, and I generally end up cooking for him most days. He is a very large man, not fat, but easily 230 and not dieting. I am at a total loss what to feed him. I prepare food for him and myself. I make my normal portion size, usually a 500 calorie meal and then I just triple his portion for him of the same foods. Yet the man is still hungry! He even gets 2nd meals!
I just about threw my hands up and gave up today, when I saw his huge order of take out. 3 cheese burgers, french fries, milk shake and chicken nuggets. This was a large meal that day, but there is just no way I am ever going to be able to compete or feed someone that amount of calories on a vegetarian diet
-frustrated and at a loss here
I just about threw my hands up and gave up today, when I saw his huge order of take out. 3 cheese burgers, french fries, milk shake and chicken nuggets. This was a large meal that day, but there is just no way I am ever going to be able to compete or feed someone that amount of calories on a vegetarian diet
-frustrated and at a loss here
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Replies
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Another example, I'm going through nearly two cartons of eggs a week just trying to feed him breakfast, while adding beans, and veggies to his 4 eggs, to bulk up his food.0
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You might try getting more protein in his meals that tend to fill more since the veggies don't seem to do much for filling him up. But for the eggs I make an omelet with 4 egg whites and one whole egg with spinach, onions, and olives and that fills me up but for my hubby its 7 egg whites and one whole egg with the veggies and that holds him pretty good. As the amount of food he eats let him buy the groceries,
. As for the eggs we buy two cartons a week and some times it's not enough. So maybe vegetarian meals might seem more like snacks to him and maybe you might want him to prepare his meals once in a while so as not to totally drive you insane with the amount of food you're feeding him. 0 -
I'm not sure from this where your concern lies, is it the cost of feeding him? If so, get him to chip in. Is it the time you take to prepare it? If so, get him to prepare the food. I can't tell you how upset I'd be if I decided to indulge in a take away and my fiance stormed in and threw her arms up in the air.
His life choices are his, and although you can try to inflect change, you can't expect it.
As for his hunger, I'm a big guy, veggies don't cut it for me either, no matter the volume - I need substance - Protein, I have a lot of protein in my diet and have still lost 5Kgs in 2 weeks. But if somebody served me a 500Kcal meal I'd be thinking...."and then?....."
If you think he's getting out of control, just talk to him, explain your concerns. If he can't or doesn't want to make a change, then perhaps consider if your two lifestyle choices are conflicted.0 -
I'm a vegetarian and my hubby gets filled up on lasagna, enchiladas, and winter squash soup. He normally eats larger portions then I do. You might want to try those options
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Have you considered meat? Let him cook it himself if it bugs you that much.0
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I have no problem with him eating that huge take away. I just mentally added up the calories and realized I just don't feel capable of cooking THAT high calorie of meals. There is no lifestyle choice problem here, I merely cannot eat meat due to a meat intolerance in my digestive tract. A 500 calorie meal is for myself. I hand him a triple portion, that equals 1500 calories...... I realize that he is a lot bigger than me, and thus give him much larger portions. I also try to make an effort by including things like beans, cheese, and whole eggs in his foods for protein.0
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Since he is not dieting and not in need of losing weight I would suggest upping the fat content of his meals so that they are more satisfying. Eggs, Cheese, Whole Milk or Cream etc. My ex did not feel satisfied with a vegetarian meal~ psychologically it wasn't a meal without meat {my mom is the same way fwiw} so the best I could do for the both of them was make really rich meals. Avocados and nuts also help.
I tend to flex my meals a lot... for example if I make beans and rice for dinner with some salsa to pour on top I might make some guacamole and also a seasoned oil to put on theirs along with cheese to sprinkle. I am still satisfied and plate my beans up on a salad with maybe a italian type of dressing and they get melty gooey cheese and guacamole and rice. I also might fry up a sausage on the side but since you are adverse to that look for other really rich protein-y foods to give them that fattiness that meat provides.0 -
I would give him a protein shake with whole milk and a casein/whey combo before dinner.
I guess I don't really understand the issue. Are you thinking like long term? You guys move in together and he won't get enough food without meat?
I'm a 20-year vegetarian and my SO is a meat-eating hunter. When we cook together, I make all the side dishes and he makes his meat, and I make whatever vegetarian protein I'm having. If I am cooking by myself, I'll make something we both like, like quiche, which is pretty filling, or I'll make something like a pasta dish or stir-fry that he can easily add cooked chicken to. I've cooked the meat for him a few times but I'm not particularly great at it.0 -
What are you making? There are tons of very filling vegetarian options. As mentioned above, lasagna, enchiladas, casseroles, loaves (meatless loaves), even rice and beans can work. If he's downing 3 cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets, I'd guess he needs a whole lot more protein. Like a lot. Try making some seitan. And try making him food with some "heft" (eg lasagna/casseroles/giant baked potatoes). Some of it is caloric need, but I think he just needs stuff that actually fills him. And probably more protein (and not just more eggs).0
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Yes I like this. My foods I prepare are almost devoid of fats that are not naturally occurring. I will start adding extra fats to his meals. Bringing on the butter!0
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Yes I like this. My foods I prepare are almost devoid of fats that are not naturally occurring. I will start adding extra fats to his meals. Bringing on the butter!
Ah-ha! This is the problem. Low fat meals don't trigger the same satiety response as higher fat ones. Adding fat might make all the difference.0 -
I tend to make a lot of broth soups, cooked veggies, and whole grain options. Things like mushroom tortellini soups with beans, and fried rice with veggies and eggs. Meals typically consist of one whole grain, veggies, and some form of beans. It's my default lazy cooking style, because that's what i normally eat alone. To bulk up his food I tend to hand him extra bread and more of the protein. He hasn't complained about taste, I just feel horrible because I don't want him to feel like he has to eat before he comes to my house and or pack extra food.0
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Here is your solution...
You are an adult so I can safely assume he is as well, so stop being his mother and let him prepare his own meals if he is unhappy with the effort you make.0 -
I am not sure links are allowed {am new here} but an example is this ginger scallion sauce at lottie + doof http://www.lottieanddoof.com/2012/02/ginger-scallion-sauce/
it is salty and has an oniony ginger flavor that goes well on beans, eggs, obviously any oriental type of stir fry... can be used as a dipping sauce with bread etc etc and is all fat all the time. My husband loves it. There are tons of variations like that. Garlicky Oil. Red pepper flakes in oil... use seasoned oils to add that something to his food. Also any dish of beans blanketed in cheese and thrown under broiler for a few minutes is full of win { I say this as a person who used to work at a vegetarian restaurant for years } I made a lovely dish from ummm one of Julie Jordans cookbooks that had sautéed almonds in the rice along with other veggies {and then cheese that was baked into melty fatty rich goodness. Yea you might not be able to eat it but I really do often make the rice dish with veggies and almonds then set my portion aside and throw in the several cups of cheese, top with more cheese and bake for kids {who are all either very thin or normal weight}
not only will you be upping his calories but you will be providing that mouth feel... umami... that is what meat provides. Comprised basically of fat and protein blocks. Here is an article on umami from abc: http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?id=7766285
PS I love the ginger scallion sauce on dal with rice. A little raita and good to go. Well I am not eating rice at the moment but now I am thinking of dal, raita and ginger scallion sauce.... le sigh. I have not been eating well at all the past 2 days0 -
I am not sure links are allowed {am new here} but an example is this ginger scallion sauce at lottie + doof http://www.lottieanddoof.com/2012/02/ginger-scallion-sauce/
it is salty and has an oniony ginger flavor that goes well on beans, eggs, obviously any oriental type of stir fry... can be used as a dipping sauce with bread etc etc and is all fat all the time. My husband loves it. There are tons of variations like that. Garlicky Oil. Red pepper flakes in oil... use seasoned oils to add that something to his food. Also any dish of beans blanketed in cheese and thrown under broiler for a few minutes is full of win { I say this as a person who used to work at a vegetarian restaurant for years } I made a lovely dish from ummm one of Julie Jordans cookbooks that had sautéed almonds in the rice along with other veggies {and then cheese that was baked into melty fatty rich goodness. Yea you might not be able to eat it but I really do often make the rice dish with veggies and almonds then set my portion aside and throw in the several cups of cheese, top with more cheese and bake for kids {who are all either very thin or normal weight}
not only will you be upping his calories but you will be providing that mouth feel... umami... that is what meat provides. Comprised basically of fat and protein blocks. Here is an article on umami from abc: http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?id=7766285
this is awesome, thank you. I realize now I'm probably not giving enough fat or salt. And more cheese will always be welcome from him.0 -
He needs meat0
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He needs meat
Dats what I said! And thus I agree with you.0 -
Why would I buy meat, if I can't eat it? He's welcome to buy it himself and cook it in his own house.0
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Why would I buy meat, if I can't eat it? He's welcome to buy it himself and cook it in his own house.
This relationship is going to go swimmingly0 -
Why would I buy meat, if I can't eat it? He's welcome to buy it himself and cook it in his own house.
He can't buy it himself and cook it himself at your place? I'm not saying you have to allow this, but being all hell no about meat in your home doesn't bode well for future cohabitation0 -
Why would I buy meat, if I can't eat it? He's welcome to buy it himself and cook it in his own house.
You're setting up a "me or the meat" situation that seems unnecessary since you said you don't even have an ethical objection. You might not always like his choice and he probably doesn't want to choose.0 -
Why would I buy meat, if I can't eat it? He's welcome to buy it himself and cook it in his own house.
Why can't he buy it himself and cook it at your house? I get that you don't want to spend time preparing meat for him since you'll never eat it, but at the beginning it sounded like you were fine with meat around you. Now it seems more like "No meat in my house!"0 -
My husband who is 49 and my son who is 17 have never eaten any meat, the same with every family member on hubby's side since they are Hindu. Whilst none of them weight wise are as large as your BF it can be done.
I eat 500-600 calorie meal and put a bread roll, more cheese, more oil, larger servings, more avocado, extra dessert etc for them.
But if your BF wants meat and you have no ethical objections, maybe he can buy some meat and cook it at your place (maybe have a separate pan) for it, if you have any issues with that.0 -
Best way to figure out what satiates his hunger is to ask him when You two eat. "Do you want more of this next time? Do you want more of that? Is there anything in particular you would want in the fridge other than what is there?" And so on. He doesn't have to have multiples of the same foods you are having all the time, really, unless he wants to go vegetarian himself. If you feed him what he himself likes or is craving, he will fill up faster. It should show improvement from the very beginning, and then you two can fine tune what he wants to eat and drastically improve the situation in a little more time.
Another thought, making him eat vegetarian is like making you eat meat! I'm sure he loves you and so is being polite in eating vegetarian all the time. But if you want him happy and content, 'ask him' what 'he' wants. You do not have to eat the same thing.0 -
Just break up.0
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Does he have an active job?
I don't know.
My partner is the same. He eats three times more than me but burns 600+ calories a day as a postman. He is 186lbs (which is great because when I met him he was borderline anorexic)
He gets really hungry all the time, and the reason is because he is not having what he should be having in his diet. I give up trying though, give him what he wants, then when I get healthy, he'll realise how easy it is
Will you allow meat to be cooked in your house? If so, make him cook his own meat, or bring his meat with him. I couldn't imagine having such a different belief as my partner, I don't think I could cope. It might be a problem if you two want to move in together in the future
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If he wanted to bring meat over and cook it himself that would be fine.
As we maintain two separate residences, and he is in theory living at his own house, I buy groceries just for myself, as he still buys groceries for himself at his house. If he wants food at my house, he eats what I have in my house as any guest would do.
As many have pointed out, we're both adults. If he wants different food he can buy it and prepare it himself. Even at my house. It seems a bit absurd to buy a bunch of food for my own house that I cannot eat.
He actually does prefer some vegetarian meat options, than the real meat himself. Ex: in his own home he buys himself soy sausage and soy hot dogs.0 -
Don't cook for him or tell him if he's over he just needs to eat what you cook a snot bring over extra take out. It's not your job to feed him. He's a grown *kitten* man.0
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Why would I buy meat, if I can't eat it? He's welcome to buy it himself and cook it in his own house.
He can't buy it himself and cook it himself at your place? I'm not saying you have to allow this, but being all hell no about meat in your home doesn't bode well for future cohabitation
This is exactly what I was thinking. If you got married you'd be buying him meat when you go grocery shopping.0 -
I have no problem with him eating that huge take away. I just mentally added up the calories and realized I just don't feel capable of cooking THAT high calorie of meals. There is no lifestyle choice problem here, I merely cannot eat meat due to a meat intolerance in my digestive tract. A 500 calorie meal is for myself. I hand him a triple portion, that equals 1500 calories...... I realize that he is a lot bigger than me, and thus give him much larger portions. I also try to make an effort by including things like beans, cheese, and whole eggs in his foods for protein.
So why not just add a steak to his veggie meal?0
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