Not the reaction I expected...

delaney056
delaney056 Posts: 475
in Motivation and Support
I just told my mother I want to do Insanity when I drop some weight. I told her I've wanted to do it for awhile now but haven't really had the money to purchase it. I'm doing 30DS right now and I'm up for the challenge of Insanity. She reacted with, "You're getting into too much Delaney. You want to do this, and that, and 30 DS, and a 5k, and Insanity..." Needless to say this isn't exactly the reaction I was hoping for. I thought my mother would be supportive of me doing workout programs since she too wants to get fit. It's not like I'm asking for her to pay for anything...I can take care of that myself...I guess this type of attitude towards me wanting to get fit and accomplish things isn't what I hoped for.
The support received on here is immense, but it's hard when the family support doesn't seem to measure up. I'm not asking her to do it with me, or to change anything, just told her I want to do it...so what's the problem?
Advice? :/

Replies

  • amysgottadothisthang
    amysgottadothisthang Posts: 116 Member
    Honey, U can only control yourself......no one else!

    I have found that a lot of my overweight friends are not supportive. I think it is probably hard for them to see me changing my views on food and getting healthy. Maybe there is a little underlying guilt there?

    U just worry about u!!!!! U deserve to live a happy healthy life!!!!!!!
  • delaney056
    delaney056 Posts: 475
    Honey, U can only control yourself......no one else!

    I have found that a lot of my overweight friends are not supportive. I think it is probably hard for them to see me changing my views on food and getting healthy. Maybe there is a little underlying guilt there?

    U just worry about u!!!!! U deserve to live a happy healthy life!!!!!!!

    Thank you. I guess that's the way I have to look at it. If she doesn't like it then tough...it's my health and my body.
  • Smashley1947
    Smashley1947 Posts: 129
    She is probably just worried about you. She does support you but probably wants you to not wear yourself out.

    Trying to do too much and not being able to do it all could have a negative emotional impact on you.

    Focus on one thing at a time, and when it comes time for you to do insanity you will kick *kitten* and show your mom that you can do it.
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    First, I'm sorry you didn't get the support you'd hoped for. It's especially disappointing when it's family or a close friend.

    Second, the other commenter's right - you've got to keep focusing on you and your goals and why you're doing this. Any time you've got your happiness in other people's hands, it's a setup for disappointment. Nobody's perfect.

    Lastly, I'd encourage you to keep a positive outlook regarding your mom, and not guess at negative motives on her part. It could be as simple as she doesn't understand why you're buying/signing up for things instead of say, just logging your food and walking/jogging for exercise.

    Please don't misunderstand. I'm not saying your approach is wrong or not as good. Just that people really do have different approaches and don't always stop to think "YMMV" and how that works out in our daily lives. It would be a much nicer world if we all did that, but you know we don't!

    Lastly, I have 2 adult children and we are all doing MFP (although not MFP friends b/c that's just a bit much for us). One of the sprogs is using paper-only logging, and only walks slowly for exercise. The other one has bought 3 kitchen gadgets and is going to the gym 5X/wk.

    The first grates on my nerves because it seems so inefficient. The second one, I fear is leaping into too much at once, and risks failure when results don't happen fast enough. And yet...we've EACH lost about the same amount of weight so far. It's a lesson in YMMV to me, and I'm glad I've kept my mouth shut about their approaches.

    You just go on your way, and be a lesson in YMMV to your mom - provided you do follow through on your assorted activities. And if you don't? The world won't end. Sometimes it takes a little experimenting to see what works for you :-)

    STAY POSITIVE!!
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Honestly, it just sounds like a mom being a mom. Charish it. It is something that is annoying at the time, having the worrying mom, but you will miss it when it is gone.
  • Deebzodebster
    Deebzodebster Posts: 3 Member
    I agree with Ashley. She is probably just worried. Explain to her how you will manage each aspect of your program and she might understand a bit better. Good luck!
  • delaney056
    delaney056 Posts: 475
    She doesn't want me to do it because she is afraid I will develop an eating disorder. I told her that everyone's different...some people like DVD's, some don't...but millions of people have done Insanity and do not have eating disorders...so she responds with, "well, ok. I give up. I'll let you know if I think you're getting an eating disorder."
  • Smashley1947
    Smashley1947 Posts: 129
    Worried moms, hehe

    but it does sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you are thinking things through.

    Great things are ahead of you.

    Your mother will most likely come around once she sees the results and that you can do it by eating a healthy diet.

Categories