Dating to Marriage

_jayciemarie_
_jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am up early drinking coffee with my two cats. I am watching a HALLMARK Movie about weddings. Just curious..what is the normal length of time people are together before getting engaged? If someone waits 3years--is something wrong?
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Replies

  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Just means the person is not ready. People are different.
    There may be many reasons why they do not feel ready.

    Job stability, etc.

    Ask them, if you're curious. You might be enlightened.
  • prime853
    prime853 Posts: 519
    this is an unanswerable question, we have family friends who waited 10+ years to get married and had 3 kids beforehand and were happy as anyone could be
    on the other hand some people get married within a year or some in 5, totally subjective matter that depends entirely on the persons involved
  • victal
    victal Posts: 1,375 Member
    I dated someone 10 years before we got married......i needed to be sure...................twenty years later were still here :bigsmile: :smile:
  • moore7600
    moore7600 Posts: 8
    Generally its between a year to 18 months. Ive been engaged twice and married once. But then thats my average. Everybody is different.
  • yogacat13
    yogacat13 Posts: 124 Member
    I just got engaged, we've been together nearly four years, living together for two.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    I think so. my wife of 34 years was engaged to me for 6 months. But we both knew right away we were meant for each other. I believe in love at first site.:heart::love:
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    I think so. my wife of 34 years was engaged to me for 6 months. But we both knew right away we were meant for each other. I believe in love at first site.:heart::love:
    Congrats! That is very sweet :)
    I'm not sure what I believe in anymore! Bahaha.
  • _jayciemarie_
    _jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
    I was engaged for 11yrs and then I finally broke it off. I couldn't love him the way he needed loved. He was only my friend. Then I met a guy and he proposed to me after 3 months. Then 3 months later we were married. Then 3 months later we divorced. Then after some time I started dating my boyfriend (well...now ex-boyfriend). We dated 3yrs and no engagement. Im 37 almost 38. I don't have kids. I feel my clock ticking. I just feel it shouldn't take a person 3+ years to decide if the relationship is a forever relationship.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    That's totally understood.. But look at it this way.. Science helped a woman in India conceive an heir at age 70.
    You've got time.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I started dating my husband March 2003, we got engaged Oct 2007 and married Aug 2008. Still together now, we have 2 kids and a third on the way.

    My husband waited until he could buy me a nice engagement ring, bless him! We knew we'd stay together, we bought our first place together in March 2004. I think a mortgage is as big a commitment as marriage!
  • GlitterrMagpie
    GlitterrMagpie Posts: 302 Member
    I was with my hubby 9 years before we got married, we moved in together after the first 6 months just took us a while to get around to the wedding :laugh:
  • dicoveringwhoIam
    dicoveringwhoIam Posts: 480 Member
    My hubby proposed after 3months. We were married a year later. We have been married now for 17yrs. ???? Worked for us!
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
    My hubby proposed after 3months. We were married a year later. We have been married now for 17yrs. ???? Worked for us!

    i'm the same, except we got married 15 months after he proposed, and only been married 8 years so far :smile:
    i was very reluctant as i'd already done the whole marriage thing (married at a young age for all the wrong reasons and lasted barely a year) but decided to go for it and never looked back
  • rhoule76
    rhoule76 Posts: 217 Member
    It's up to the couple. Hubby and I were together 1 1/2 years and decided we wanted to get married. We got married on our 2 year anniversary.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Everyone's different...there's no set rules when it comes to dating leading to marriage.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    Ex husband and I got married 6 months after we met. Current husband we dated 4.5 years befor getting engaged and married a year after that. We are happy with 2 boys. Take time to date it is worth it!
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
    Been with my mr for 3 and a half years... we aren't engaged we have lived together for 2 and abit years... think as we are only young (he is 20 and i turn 20 in april) there is no rush, he did get me a eternity ring this Christmas what was sweet and we couldn't be happier :) each couple is different :)
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    I am up early drinking coffee with my two cats. I am watching a HALLMARK Movie about weddings. Just curious..what is the normal length of time people are together before getting engaged? If someone waits 3years--is something wrong?

    Two cats is likely to be perceived as problematic. Most men that I have spoken to about women who own cats believe cat ownership is a red flag. It does not enhance your attractiveness to potential partners, it reduces it in many cases.

    3 years of being a couple before tying the knot isn’t an abnormally long time.
    I was engaged for 11yrs and then I finally broke it off. I couldn't love him the way he needed loved. He was only my friend. Then I met a guy and he proposed to me after 3 months. Then 3 months later we were married. Then 3 months later we divorced. Then after some time I started dating my boyfriend (well...now ex-boyfriend). We dated 3yrs and no engagement. Im 37 almost 38. I don't have kids. I feel my clock ticking. I just feel it shouldn't take a person 3+ years to decide if the relationship is a forever relationship.

    I think a big part of the reason that you feel 3 years is a long time is because of your age. If you were 27 about to turn 28, you would be less concerned about it.

    Also, with a divorce, shouldn’t you be more hesitant about marrying again? At this point, it isn’t like you haven’t been married and you feel like you need to be married for a sense of accomplishment. There are people who get to 37 and have never been married.

    It seems like the 11 year relationship was the crucial relationship.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I am up early drinking coffee with my two cats. I am watching a HALLMARK Movie about weddings. Just curious..what is the normal length of time people are together before getting engaged? If someone waits 3years--is something wrong?

    Two cats is likely to be perceived as problematic. Most men that I have spoken to about women who own cats believe cat ownership is a red flag. It does not enhance your attractiveness to potential partners, it reduces it in many cases.

    3 years of being a couple before tying the knot isn’t an abnormally long time.
    I was engaged for 11yrs and then I finally broke it off. I couldn't love him the way he needed loved. He was only my friend. Then I met a guy and he proposed to me after 3 months. Then 3 months later we were married. Then 3 months later we divorced. Then after some time I started dating my boyfriend (well...now ex-boyfriend). We dated 3yrs and no engagement. Im 37 almost 38. I don't have kids. I feel my clock ticking. I just feel it shouldn't take a person 3+ years to decide if the relationship is a forever relationship.

    I think a big part of the reason that you feel 3 years is a long time is because of your age. If you were 27 about to turn 28, you would be less concerned about it.

    Also, with a divorce, shouldn’t you be more hesitant about marrying again? At this point, it isn’t like you haven’t been married and you feel like you need to be married for a sense of accomplishment. There are people who get to 37 and have never been married.

    It seems like the 11 year relationship was the crucial relationship.

    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    I was with someone for 5 years and I broke up with him before he was apparently about to propose

    sooo 3 years does not seem that long at all to me...
  • serenity56
    serenity56 Posts: 79 Member
    I've been with my guy 3.25 years and we're not living together or engaged yet. We have an awesome relationship! We are right where we need to be at this point in our lives.

    My best friend, however, met her husband of 4+ years online, met him in person like 3 months later, got engaged the week they met in person, and was married within the year. They just had their first baby and are doing super well, too! It is totally different for everyone.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    TIL that my cat is the reason I'm single


    That *kitten*
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    I am not at all opposed to asking questions. I would just ask where you guys stand.
  • 10x1014
    10x1014 Posts: 18
    My husband I were together for almost eleven years before we got married. Granted we moved in together after little over a year of dating but we waited until we were both ready for marriage. We have one of the happiest marriages of any couple we know. So, it all depends on the situation and the two people involved. Only you can answer that question about your own relationship.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    TIL that my cat is the reason I'm single


    That *kitten*

    IKR? And apparently less attractive. Who knew?
  • makingamiracle
    makingamiracle Posts: 41 Member
    My wife and I both knew during our first date. We talked about marriage three weeks later. We got married one year after we met, and only waited that long because both of our families were from out of town. I proposed within a month of us meeting. We have been married for over 26 years and still going strong today.
  • Marcolter
    Marcolter Posts: 103 Member
    "Bigamy is having one wife too many, monogamy is the same".
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    Been with my mr for 3 and a half years... we aren't engaged we have lived together for 2 and abit years... think as we are only young (he is 20 and i turn 20 in april) there is no rush, he did get me a eternity ring this Christmas what was sweet and we couldn't be happier :) each couple is different :)

    Eternity ring equals long term committed relationship regardless of a desire to be formally married. I am 26 and I know a lot of people that are in substantial committed relationships with no desire to get legal paperwork stating they are committed. Maybe it is just a younger generation not caring so much about the formality of marriage.
  • sherrybaby81
    sherrybaby81 Posts: 257 Member
    I was with my now husband for almost 4 years before getting engaged. We got married 2 years after that. We were also in a long distance international relationship, so we wanted to have lots of time to decide if we wanted to spend our lives together. I know people who have been dating for years and have no desire to marry. All the power to them.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    TIL that my cat is the reason I'm single


    That *kitten*

    Turns out I haven't heard it all

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