My friends tell me I'm too skinny and that I look sick

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  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
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    People are often uncomfortable when friends make significant positive changes in their lives, especially when it's progress on something they struggle with and are insecure about.
  • MrsAustin1480
    MrsAustin1480 Posts: 83 Member
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    It is somewhat discouraging to hear when I'm just trying to be healthier and everyone tells me if I lose any more I'll look anorexic. Uhhh no. I know what I look like at my goal weight - that's why I picked it! I think it's also because I haven't bought ALL new clothes that fit quite yet so occasionally I do look sick due to my pants sagging or my shirts swallowing me.

    Just keep eating healthy and exercising - they'll notice how great you still look and hopefully how great you FEEL and will quit. :-)

    PS - I also take much better care of myself (fix my hair and do makeup and wear nice clothes) 10 times more now that I'm not carrying so much extra weight.
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
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    My friends tell me this all the time. I just ignore them.
  • KBGAgent
    KBGAgent Posts: 165 Member
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    I went through that time. Now everyone remembers me as I am now. It's more about their memory of you than about you.

    Most often this. Forgive and forget.
  • JenzL13
    JenzL13 Posts: 27
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    Perhaps you lost a lot of fat from your face/upper body, and look very different to your formerly heavier self? I know that I lost more weight from my face and upper body before losing it from the lower body. That, and the fact that the skin doesn't bounce back tightly immediately. People who hadn't seen me in a while wondered if I was sick. My face isn't as plump, full and youthful looking. Once they were assured that I was fine, and losing in a healthy way, they were ok with it. Your friends just want to make sure you are ok. Sudden weight loss can sometimes be an indication of illness. At least they are showing that they care about you.

    ^This :flowerforyou:
  • meatpuppet999
    meatpuppet999 Posts: 16 Member
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    they may just be bitter or jealous; it's sick but lots of people hate when others, even those they care about, are succeeding and making positive changes, i guess seeing how your life is improving makes them realize all the things about their lives they've been too lazy to fix. congratulations! and remember that in the end, the only person whose opinion matters is yours:wink:
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
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    I agree with others who have posted so far. But I have kind of a silly thing to bring up...just because I have known people in the past who fit this description...probably does not apply to you but I figured I'd say it anyway.

    Sometimes I think women who lose weight go from being very concerned/overly careful with their appearance to rather carefree when they are feeling more confident about their bodies. I've done this a bit myself, for example when I was 100 lb heavier I matched my bag to my outfit every day, took more time on choosing accessories, and usually felt that I "had to" try on more outfits in front of the mirror before settling on something to wear that day. I'm still overweight but now I feel pretty comfy in my clothes and just think "ok I'll wear those pants and that top" and wear it.

    I know a couple of women in particular who were always dressed to the nines, full makeup, hair done etc and when they lost weight (like 50+ lb or more) they lived in their workout gear, no makeup, pulled back hair. So they looked sick. Compared to before. It wasn't (just) the difference of weight loss.

    I'm not saying "go slather on some makeup". I'm just saying that if your style or grooming habits have also changed this could be part of the reason. Probably not...but maybe?

    Not really. I love dreasing up and I am having even more fun dressing up my new body, I love fashion and putting on make up, that isnt really the case for me :):flowerforyou: that's why I feel bad because I feel pretty and I feel like I look better now but the people around me tell otherwise :(
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
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    Thanks you guys, I really appreciate you all for sharing your stories. I am happy to know that this might be just a phase and it is a matter of "getting used to". Thank you <3
  • Itbeginswithyourself
    Itbeginswithyourself Posts: 287 Member
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    I have been hearing this but I am still considered overweight and have 30 lbs to lose still to be healthy. Just consider it a compliment and move on. Dont let it bother you.
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
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    In one ear and out the other :)
  • laceyfowler
    laceyfowler Posts: 127 Member
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    If these are friends you want to keep, have a heart to heart with them and let them know you are looking for their support and encouragement ... not the negativity and grief they are currently giving you. If that doesn't work, get new friends.

    This will help me. My parents really bug me calling me anorexic which I am not and whether they are kidding or not it's still discouraging and a word I don't like being called.

    Oh that sucks, I'm sorry you are getting that from your parents! :-( I've had family members voice concern in the past when I've lost weight (and was still at the high end of healthy BMI) because 1) they aren't used to seeing me at a healthier weight and 2) much of my family and their friends are overweight, so their view of what's healthy is skewed... but it would be SO frustrating and hurtful to be accused of having an eating disorder when in reality you're working hard and being healthy in your weight loss! I hope the responses on here have helped you as well as the OP. Keep up the healthy good work!
  • mamacoates
    mamacoates Posts: 430 Member
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    If these are friends you want to keep, have a heart to heart with them and let them know you are looking for their support and encouragement ... not the negativity and grief they are currently giving you. If that doesn't work, get new friends.

    This will help me. My parents really bug me calling me anorexic which I am not and whether they are kidding or not it's still discouraging and a word I don't like being called.

    Glad to be of help to you. Sometimes people don't know how insensitive they can be. That old saying, "If you don't have anything good to say ... " should finish with "then keep your mouth shut" for the thick headed folks that just don't get it.

    Good luck to you Supertact, as well as Lauraspberry. Keep doing good things for yourself!!
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    The advice you are getting here is more than likely correct. However, if by chance that isn't you in the picture, or if it is an old picture and you are really much thinner........point being, there really are people out here with disordered eating who need help. Almost all of them say they are fine. Their friends and family are really the only ones who can intervene. All this to say, you are probably just fine, unless you're not, in which case, listen to them.
  • jjennyb4
    jjennyb4 Posts: 1,581 Member
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    Same here, I get that comment a lot!!! I especially hate it when it comes from family!!! Don't worry about what other people are saying to you, as long as your happy. :wink:
  • lilred806
    lilred806 Posts: 195 Member
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    I agree with other posters that say it is probably just people getting used to your new shape. However I do remember when my husband was training for a marathon he got really thin and because he was doing so much cardio and little strength it made him look a bit hollow. He added in some strength training and it helped greatly.
  • DorothyR87
    DorothyR87 Posts: 113
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    Perhaps your friends are feeling a bit jealous? Maybe they see how great you are looking and it makes them feel insecure about themselves. Judging by the picture you do not look like you are starving.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    I don't have any advice because I struggle with people telling me to stop losing weight. I don't know what to say to them except "I'm almost done", which is the honest-to-God truth. I am doing a 30 day clean eating challenge, and after that I really think it will be maintenance time.

    It makes me really uncomfortable when people say stuff like that. Yesterday my FIL told me I looked "bony". WTH, I am 5'4 and 142 lbs, at the UPPER end of my healthy weight range.

    Again, sorry no advice, but you aren't alone.
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
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    It kind of depends on what your current stats are, are you at a healthy BMI and body fat percentage? How much lean body mass do you have? If theses numbers are in the middle of the normal range then you are fine.

    But

    l looked at your food logs, are the last few weeks of recorded food logs accurate? You were only logging about 600-800 calories a day. If that is the real record then you DO need to listen to your family and friends and talk to you clinician about eating disorders.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
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    It kind of depends on what your current stats are, are you at a healthy BMI and body fat percentage? How much lean body mass do you have? If theses numbers are in the middle of the normal range then you are fine.

    But

    l looked at your food logs, are the last few weeks of recorded food logs accurate? You were only logging about 600-800 calories a day. If that is the real record then you DO need to listen to your family and friends and talk to you clinician about eating disorders.

    I havent been logging correctly the past days lol I'm on a week break so sometimes i log in some meals and then dont log the rest, so yeah :)) I'm definitely eating more than I should though for the past days. That's why I'm not logging it all because I wanna give myself a break since I hitted a plateau and I really restricted for the past couple of months so I'm giving myself a splurge week :)
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    My husband got down to his BMI, and everybody kept telling him he looked gaunt and needed to eat more. We kept reminding people that he was at his appropriate BMI, albeit towards the lower end, but to back off. Now they've finally gotten used to him - although he did put back on a few pounds (I'm not sure how much, but I'm guessing about 10 pounds).

    We've started back on the bandwagon again.

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