Previously lost 20lbs, gained it all back - Need support

InvisibleBra
InvisibleBra Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
I've previously been on MFP before and lost 20lbs. I got down to 240 lbs, now I've shot up to 260 lbs. There's a reason behind it and I'll be honest. I stopped tracking and I'm becoming a wreck.

I live alone, currently on sick leave due to stress and depression. Have been since October the 5th (Around the time I started to gain). My money situation isn't good and I'm dependent on a UK Food Bank for food.

I can't sleep at night, I'm now on anti-depressants. I've been lashing out at my boyfriend for no reason and I'm afraid to lose him. He's all I've got, I also have my mum who's supposed to be losing weight to but she isn't.

I'm constantly ill or in pain.. I'm also only 19.

I'm finding everything so hard at the moment and with this weight it's not any easier. I need something to focus on because I'm so stressed and that. Today, I'm going to see a Psychiatrist, because I broke down last week and was taken to hospital. I know there's something wrong with me other then depression because there's so much more to it.

I want to focus on losing weight, but I won't be able to do it alone.. I have over 135lbs to lose. To me, it seems impossible. But I hope I can do it.

Anybody want to support me? Be a friend.. because I don't have any (in real life) and I need somebody there to be my friend.

Replies

  • SteveK279
    SteveK279 Posts: 134 Member
    Welcome back - firstly you'll only do it if you really want to - believe me when I say that much as the only person who can hold you accountable is yourself. You can easily cheat by not logging everything that you eat, but the only person you'd be cheating is yourself. I was in a similar situation not too long ago - had lost nearly 30 lbs, got bored, gave up and ignored it for a while before coming back at 271.8. Happily under 200 now & have been for about 6 months (ok, I went back over at Christmas, but that's allowed once it comes off again!)

    I'm not a clean eater or a gym fanatic, but I'd be your friend and try help if you need it
  • HappyStack
    HappyStack Posts: 802 Member
    Feel free to join my friend list. I was in the same position as you, once, with similar life situations.

    If I did it, you definitely can, and I'll try to help keep you accountable.
  • keeptehpeace
    keeptehpeace Posts: 189 Member
    Sorry to read you're having such a bad time, feel free to add me for support
  • InvisibleBra
    InvisibleBra Posts: 12
    Welcome back - firstly you'll only do it if you really want to - believe me when I say that much as the only person who can hold you accountable is yourself. You can easily cheat by not logging everything that you eat, but the only person you'd be cheating is yourself. I was in a similar situation not too long ago - had lost nearly 30 lbs, got bored, gave up and ignored it for a while before coming back at 271.8. Happily under 200 now & have been for about 6 months (ok, I went back over at Christmas, but that's allowed once it comes off again!)

    I'm not a clean eater or a gym fanatic, but I'd be your friend and try help if you need it

    Thank you.

    I know that its only me who can do this. I want to do this, I just need a support system if that makes sense? Also well done on your weight lost :D
  • smaugish
    smaugish Posts: 244 Member
    I understand something of what you've been going through. I started a MA in 2011 but had to drop out after two months and be brought home after I had a huge meltdown. I was then out of work for nearly a year because of my problems, and my weight took the back burner.

    It's hard and I'm still struggling a lot but with the support of my parents (seriously don't know how they manage to keep me afloat sometimes) I'm slowly getting there, and I feel I'm ready to do this properly now. You have to be kind to yourself and seek help when you need it- sometimes our brains and what's going on in there is more important than the lbs on our body, because without our brains working as well as they can we're never going to be able to succeed in anything else.

    If you would like I'm more than willing to be a friend on here, to support you in both sides of the coin :)
  • Alliegeex
    Alliegeex Posts: 60 Member
    I've previously been on MFP before and lost 20lbs. I got down to 240 lbs, now I've shot up to 260 lbs. There's a reason behind it and I'll be honest. I stopped tracking and I'm becoming a wreck.

    I live alone, currently on sick leave due to stress and depression. Have been since October the 5th (Around the time I started to gain). My money situation isn't good and I'm dependent on a UK Food Bank for food.

    I can't sleep at night, I'm now on anti-depressants. I've been lashing out at my boyfriend for no reason and I'm afraid to lose him. He's all I've got, I also have my mum who's supposed to be losing weight to but she isn't.

    I'm constantly ill or in pain.. I'm also only 19.

    I'm finding everything so hard at the moment and with this weight it's not any easier. I need something to focus on because I'm so stressed and that. Today, I'm going to see a Psychiatrist, because I broke down last week and was taken to hospital. I know there's something wrong with me other then depression because there's so much more to it.

    I want to focus on losing weight, but I won't be able to do it alone.. I have over 135lbs to lose. To me, it seems impossible. But I hope I can do it.

    Anybody want to support me? Be a friend.. because I don't have any (in real life) and I need somebody there to be my friend.

    Hi lovebug!

    I know it seems like everything is falling apart right now, I know what it feels like. I lost 35 pounds and gained it back over the course of my freshman year in college. And I've just started the process all over again. You know that saying, fall down 7 times stand up 8? That's how you have to think of it. You're going to make a comeback and you're going to make this one better than ever. It's okay to fall off the bandwagon every once in a while. I wouldn't call your 20lb re-gain a failure. Failure would be if you weren't going to continue trying and decided your health wasn't worth it. This is just a minor setback, how you make a comeback will prove how strong you really are, so make it big! Try not to think of it like "I have over 135lbs to lose", make small attainable goals for yourself. For example, make a goal to stick to your calorie goal every week this month. Once you do it (And I know you will), make it your goal next month. I promise you'll see results and you'll be much happier.

    Also, in reguards to everything else, YOU are the only person in control of yourself and your life. If you want to make the change, you make the change girlfriend. Don't worry about what your moms doing or not doing. No one else can do it for you. You must be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anything else in your life. I highly recommend writing down every little thing you love about yourself on a piece of paper and posting it on your wall. And don't say you don't love anything about yourself, you do. You seem like a smart, intelligent girl and not to mention you're beautiful as well. Try not to let life bring you down, it could be 3000x worst. I have faith in you. I went through the same exact thing, taking my anger about myself out on my boyfriend and my family, and I ended up getting kicked out of my house. I have since learned my lesson. I am now a sophomore nursing major on a journey, much like yours. YOU are worth it. You can do it, I know you can.

    If you need anything, feel free to friend me/message me. <3
  • HildeDanmark
    HildeDanmark Posts: 65 Member
    I lost about 30 pounds and gained it all back over the last 15 months or so. I kept lying to myself, kept telling myself that I was eating a normal amount, that I needed that food to feel better, etc. I stopped weighing, I stopped wanting to know how bad it was, that was until the day the big jeans I had bought were getting tight and I couldn't even fit into a largest size I had ever been in the store. I was just so upset at myself for doing it to myself, for stopping logging my food, for stopping doing regular exercise.

    Now, I'm back having to do it and it is a slow and painful process. The first week of calorie cutting I felt like crap, the sugar withdrawals literally hurt my whole body. It gets easier again, like you know. You will feel better when you lose weight, trust me. Not because you are skinnier, but because you are healthier and hopefully what you'll be trying to eat (I know this is hard with using a food bank) will be more nutritious. Some of the best weapons against depression are healthy choices and regular exercise. You can do this!

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