Messing with phone scammers
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Courtesy of an email from my dad, that he says he did to a telemarketer:
This morning I was called by a web design company to wanted to create a new and exciting site for my company.
I chose to talk about my childhood and our conversation went like this:
Gary: “we offer a creative flair that can really enhance your business and grow your sales”.
Me: “I’m sorry Gary but I’m not very focused on my business right now. I recently found out that I was adopted”.
Gary: “ohhh. That must be tough. Let me tell you a little bit about what we have to offer”.
Me: “you see Gary, I was very small as a baby so my parents gave me away to this nice old man in a northern community who eventually taught me how to build toys in his factory”. Because of the remote area, we only came to town about once a year so I didn’t meet many people outside of my co-workers”. As time passed I began to grow and actually became one of the largest people in the village, that’s when I found out that I was adopted. I left me adopted family and set out to find my birth parents”.
Gary: “that sounds like an interesting story but I should get to the point of my call”.
Me: “oh no Gary, how can you sell me a service when you don’t know anything about me”?
Gary: “well……….I don’t really see what this has to do with…..”
Me: “let me continue. Anyway, all I had to my name was 1 suit of clothes in green and a huge appetite for anything sweet. I was desperate and hungry when I got to the city so I’d eat old gum off hand rails and benches while I searched for my family”.
Gary: “Sir, this sounds like the movie Elf and I really don’t have time for this”.
Me: “now you know how I feel”!
Gary: “click”0 -
Don't talk. Just do some Darth Vader noises into the phone until they hang up.0
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breath heavy and giggle.0
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breath heavy and giggle.
haha, done this one without the giggle0 -
Courtesy of an email from my dad, that he says he did to a telemarketer:
This morning I was called by a web design company to wanted to create a new and exciting site for my company.
I chose to talk about my childhood and our conversation went like this:
Gary: “we offer a creative flair that can really enhance your business and grow your sales”.
Me: “I’m sorry Gary but I’m not very focused on my business right now. I recently found out that I was adopted”.
Gary: “ohhh. That must be tough. Let me tell you a little bit about what we have to offer”.
Me: “you see Gary, I was very small as a baby so my parents gave me away to this nice old man in a northern community who eventually taught me how to build toys in his factory”. Because of the remote area, we only came to town about once a year so I didn’t meet many people outside of my co-workers”. As time passed I began to grow and actually became one of the largest people in the village, that’s when I found out that I was adopted. I left me adopted family and set out to find my birth parents”.
Gary: “that sounds like an interesting story but I should get to the point of my call”.
Me: “oh no Gary, how can you sell me a service when you don’t know anything about me”?
Gary: “well……….I don’t really see what this has to do with…..”
Me: “let me continue. Anyway, all I had to my name was 1 suit of clothes in green and a huge appetite for anything sweet. I was desperate and hungry when I got to the city so I’d eat old gum off hand rails and benches while I searched for my family”.
Gary: “Sir, this sounds like the movie Elf and I really don’t have time for this”.
Me: “now you know how I feel”!
Gary: “click”
hahahahah this just made my day! Ask your dad for some more and please post!0 -
I always say "Alex's phone' and tell them I will go get 'him' and keep them on hold until 'he' comes back...they generally wait about 2 minutes then hang up lol0
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"The Philadelphia Morgue. You stab them we slab them."0
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I don't answer #s that I don't recognize anymore...but back when I did, I had a couple of tricks up my sleeve.
I would pretend to be a very elderly person. I would use a fake old person voice and say "WHAT? Can you repeat that I am hard of hearing." Then, I would repeat what they would say and act confused. Most of the time, the people would quickly get off of the phone.
I would also pretend to be a child left home alone. Luckily, no one ever alerted the authorities that a child was left at home.
Sometimes, I would answer the phone while brushing my teeth and talk like that, which was funny.
And of course, you have the old stand-by of cussing them out as badly as you can.0 -
Just keep saying "Hello?" like you cant hear them. I was the lucky recipient of some of the Jamaican phone scam calls for a while and after about three times of them raging and hanging up from me doing that I never got another call.0
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Act like you're having sex on the phone.
Make animal noises if necessary.0 -
Don't talk. Just do some Darth Vader noises into the phone until they hang up.
She did this to me, and we've been friends ever since
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I pass the phone to one of the kids and let them start asking questions.0
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haha these are awesome responses
My friend used to respond with 'Betty's bar and brothel' lol0 -
The calls have started bright and early already. These are great ideas! I wish I could ignore them but they're calling on the work phone and it's my job to answer it. Haha...what's worse is they're calling for an employee who passed away 2 years ago, but that doesn't seem to stop the calls so all I can do is mess with them until they give up until March.0
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My eastern Indian husband used to use a really thick accent & act like he couldn't understand English.0
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You could always just let them talk and think you're falling for it and last minute tell them you gotta go.
Get their hopes up.. Then "Hey, I gotta go, call me back?" hahaha.0 -
One I have always wanted to try was have someone in the background yelling at me. I would interrupt the caller 2-3 times to tell the person to shut up. Then I would ask the caller to hang on a second. Put the phone down, yell "I said shut up!", and fire one shot out the back door (I live in the country). As soon as I fire, have the person yelling in the background to go silent.
Then pick up the phone and casually restart the conversation like nothing ever happened.0 -
I use to play the idiot or the guy who forgets everything. Or have an interesting conversation, then stop talking abruptly. Or change voice every minute or so.
Another good idea is to speak abnormally loud. Or maybe to say nothing but Yes? :P0 -
I kept getting "we can install an alarm system in your house" calls. EVERYDAY sometimes 3 times a day. The last call I had I was super nice and he asked if he could help me by installing an alarm in our home. I then said thank you very much but I am homeless and could he help me with that? He then hung up on me and they have not called back yet!!! PS..if he wouldn't have hung up on me I would of then explained that we live fulltime in a RV and travel the country for the hubby's work
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I always say "Alex's phone' and tell them I will go get 'him' and keep them on hold until 'he' comes back...they generally wait about 2 minutes then hang up lol
I do this all the time. Or when the copy machine people call asking for the numbers off the copy machine I give them false numbers or ask what one they want me to get the number off. Then come back a few times and ask which one again! haha0
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