Messing with phone scammers

Courtesy of an email from my dad, that he says he did to a telemarketer:



This morning I was called by a web design company to wanted to create a new and exciting site for my company.

I chose to talk about my childhood and our conversation went like this:

Gary: “we offer a creative flair that can really enhance your business and grow your sales”.

Me: “I’m sorry Gary but I’m not very focused on my business right now. I recently found out that I was adopted”.

Gary: “ohhh. That must be tough. Let me tell you a little bit about what we have to offer”.

Me: “you see Gary, I was very small as a baby so my parents gave me away to this nice old man in a northern community who eventually taught me how to build toys in his factory”. Because of the remote area, we only came to town about once a year so I didn’t meet many people outside of my co-workers”. As time passed I began to grow and actually became one of the largest people in the village, that’s when I found out that I was adopted. I left me adopted family and set out to find my birth parents”.

Gary: “that sounds like an interesting story but I should get to the point of my call”.

Me: “oh no Gary, how can you sell me a service when you don’t know anything about me”?

Gary: “well……….I don’t really see what this has to do with…..”

Me: “let me continue. Anyway, all I had to my name was 1 suit of clothes in green and a huge appetite for anything sweet. I was desperate and hungry when I got to the city so I’d eat old gum off hand rails and benches while I searched for my family”.

Gary: “Sir, this sounds like the movie Elf and I really don’t have time for this”.

Me: “now you know how I feel”!

Gary: “click”

breath heavy and giggle.

Courtesy of an email from my dad, that he says he did to a telemarketer:



This morning I was called by a web design company to wanted to create a new and exciting site for my company.

I chose to talk about my childhood and our conversation went like this:

Gary: “we offer a creative flair that can really enhance your business and grow your sales”.

Me: “I’m sorry Gary but I’m not very focused on my business right now. I recently found out that I was adopted”.

Gary: “ohhh. That must be tough. Let me tell you a little bit about what we have to offer”.

Me: “you see Gary, I was very small as a baby so my parents gave me away to this nice old man in a northern community who eventually taught me how to build toys in his factory”. Because of the remote area, we only came to town about once a year so I didn’t meet many people outside of my co-workers”. As time passed I began to grow and actually became one of the largest people in the village, that’s when I found out that I was adopted. I left me adopted family and set out to find my birth parents”.

Gary: “that sounds like an interesting story but I should get to the point of my call”.

Me: “oh no Gary, how can you sell me a service when you don’t know anything about me”?

Gary: “well……….I don’t really see what this has to do with…..”

Me: “let me continue. Anyway, all I had to my name was 1 suit of clothes in green and a huge appetite for anything sweet. I was desperate and hungry when I got to the city so I’d eat old gum off hand rails and benches while I searched for my family”.

Gary: “Sir, this sounds like the movie Elf and I really don’t have time for this”.

Me: “now you know how I feel”!

Gary: “click”

hahahahah this just made my day! Ask your dad for some more and please post!

"The Philadelphia Morgue. You stab them we slab them."

Just keep saying "Hello?" like you cant hear them. I was the lucky recipient of some of the Jamaican phone scam calls for a while and after about three times of them raging and hanging up from me doing that I never got another call.

Don't talk. Just do some Darth Vader noises into the phone until they hang up.

She did this to me, and we've been friends ever since

haha these are awesome responses

My friend used to respond with 'Betty's bar and brothel' lol

My eastern Indian husband used to use a really thick accent & act like he couldn't understand English.

One I have always wanted to try was have someone in the background yelling at me. I would interrupt the caller 2-3 times to tell the person to shut up. Then I would ask the caller to hang on a second. Put the phone down, yell "I said shut up!", and fire one shot out the back door (I live in the country). As soon as I fire, have the person yelling in the background to go silent.

Then pick up the phone and casually restart the conversation like nothing ever happened.

I kept getting "we can install an alarm system in your house" calls. EVERYDAY sometimes 3 times a day. The last call I had I was super nice and he asked if he could help me by installing an alarm in our home. I then said thank you very much but I am homeless and could he help me with that? He then hung up on me and they have not called back yet!!! PS..if he wouldn't have hung up on me I would of then explained that we live fulltime in a RV and travel the country for the hubby's work

I would get Google yellow page calls all the time. They would tell me how they can get me on the front page of Google search engine. I would kinda act like I was really back woods and never heard of the internet and such. They would try to explain how the search worked by telling me that I could just simply type in pizza and it would bring up pizza businesses. Well then I would go on a rant about my favorite pizzas and ask him if he liked pizzas and just keep going about different items that I could search for. I've had them on the line for 15 minutes at times!!! Then I would just say not interested and hang up!!!!!

A couple months ago, I got a call from a solicitor. I pick up and he broke into his spiel.

I waited until I had a chance to break in and said, "What are you wearing?"

By the way, my wife and daughter were sitting there, too.

The solicitor, a guy, paused for a moment and then jumped right back into his scripted presentation.

So, I said, "Really, what are you wearing? I'm home all alone."

Meanwhile, my daughter turns to my wife and says, "There's nobody on the line."

I handed her the phone as the guy kept talking. My daughter laughed, and told my wife I wasn't bullshltting, and hung up the phone.

When my dad was alive we used to try and see if we could make them cry/cuss us out.

We've done everything from having sex and then going back at it ...asking them to join in and talk dirty to our wife/girlfriend.

Once I acted like I was masturbating and everything the person said just turned me on more.

Would freak out and act like the house was on fire and kept asking do I save the XXX or wake my children and then proceed to carry out whatever XXX was.

Acted like someone was trapped in the house and I wouldn't let them out unless the telemarketer came to get them.

I once told a person I was extremely interested and just wanted to know all the ins and outs so if they could read the entire contract as I just moved and couldn't accept a fax/e-mail so they sat there for approximately 10 minutes reading the entire thing as I just walked away.

Kept asking if they'd come join me for an orgy I was hosting that night

Would ask intimate questions such as their favorite position, did they shave,etc.

Would sign up for the service and give a fake credit card # that kept failing and have them retry numerous times getting more and more upset that it was failing.

Explain that I just found out I was a transgender from birth and always felt like a part of me was missing and I now understand because I no longer have a penis.

umm.. trying to think what else but yea it was a lot of fun

I've been at work for less than 2 hours and answered 30 calls from phone scammers and it will continue for the rest of the day. This happens about once every other month. I'm running out of ideas on how to screw with them. Give me what ya got!

Best one I've heard of yet: Crime scene prank on telemarketer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIVfrBFc5og

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

When my son was an infant, if he was crying when/because they called I'd say "here, this is your fault" and hold the phone up to his mouth.

I'm certain you can find a babycrying on youtube you can play.