Saboteurs
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Oooh hang on, I'm not blaming them, I said TRY... they constantly TRY. I am in control of what I do or don't do, and they're in control of the mood they choose the take my refusal of their "goodies" I was trying to find out if we had others around us that seem unable to accept that you're not eating their junk, even if they did "buy it especially" and had we thought about why they take it so personally. I'm curious about WHY they do it.
Heck yeah, if I really fancy something, and I decide it's worth that extra burn in the gym then damnit I shall have it, but not to make them feel better... my food choices isn't a personal attack on them.0 -
People-wise, other than myself no one as soon as I realised I didn't have to eat the treats brought into the office. I'm generally of the mindset that if I fancy it and it fits in my calorie allowance then I'll have it. However, there are certain trigger foods that I know I can't eat in moderation. Its like I turn into the Cookie Monster or something and all my good intentions and willpower disappear. So these are foods I don't eat any of other than at very special occasions when I'm prepared to torpedo my calories allowance completely and know I'll have to sweat it out in the gym! Things like Jaffa Cakes - half a packet minimum. Dry Roasted peanuts and honey roasted Cashew Nuts are to be avoided by me!0
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Yes, it's hard. But there will be a time when I can enjoy this stuff again in moderation. In the meantime, I have a goal to achieve.Didn't you feel sad that you were depriving yourself of the fancy beers and stuff?0 -
no one can sabotage you but yourself.......
geez people get a backbone or you have no drive at all.
This...
Why would anyone try to willngly sabatoge anothers weight loss? I mean really...think about it...
*two co-workers book a meeting to try and figure out how to make you not lose weight*
or
*Mother sits at home thinking I want my kid fat let me make them nom nom food and take it to them so they get fat*
Sabotoge - deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something),0 -
Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.
You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?
There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.
And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.
Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.
You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.
Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.
Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.
Thank you for this. Partly for the lesson, but mostly for the visual of Orlando Bloom as Legolas blowing in my ear while he teaches me to fire arrows :-D0 -
I am my own worst and only saboteur. No one puts a gun to my head and makes me eat bad things. In fact, I eat the bad things with much joy. Stop blaming others and take resopnsibility for your own actions.0
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but, in my experience one leads to two , two leads to three and so on. Best to just not get started0
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I have always and only ever been my own saboteur. It's easy to blame it on someone else for offering or pressuring us to eat something, but we are the ones who make the choice to put the food into our own mouths. When I was pregnant the first time I gained 70 pounds, and I blamed my mother because she told me to "feed those cravings". However, I realized later that it was really just me who ate all the ice cream, pudding and pasta that made me gain so much weight. We all want to make each other happy, and in our current culture a big part of that is food. Ultimately we have to hold our own selves accountable for what we choose to do. Caving in to pressure is not a good excuse. In another context: if someone offered me cocaine and really pressured me to snort it, I'd never do it. So why cave in when someone pressures me to eat something I don't want to eat?0
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but, in my experience one leads to two , two leads to three and so on. Best to just not get started
really? hmmm
See in my experience if you want it (it being weight loss) bad enough it doesn't matter if you have 1...you don't go get another...end of discussion.
It's not like it's crack and you go into withdrawal without it I mean...come on....0 -
People can try to sabotage your weight loss, but ultimately the choice to give in or not is yours.
I regained almost all of my weight at one point, largely because of constantly facing a saboteur, but I don't really blame the saboteur, I chose to eat the things they constantly offered. Now, there were reasons that my resolve was weak at that point, stresses that I faced that made it difficult to take control and be firm... but it was still my choice.
My husband made things very difficult for me over the month of December, even though I was very specific that for once I didn't want to attend every party, every festivity, I figured for just one year, to keep my weight loss moving along, we could skip some things and only indulge on the big events. My husband had other ideas and wanted to eat out several times a week, plus attend every dinner, potluck, and party we were invited to, plus take me to a desert concert, plus a two day getaway. All great fun stuff, but not very conducive to weight loss!
Well, my weight loss did slow a little, but I made the best choices I could and still managed to lose weight over that month.
Ultimately, the choice is yours.
Some people may sabotage unintentionally, not really thinking about the fact that you are trying to lose weight. Some may have a hidden agenda, such as a significant other who is insecure and worried you'll leave them if you lose weight. But either way, unless they are tying you down and shoveling the food into your mouth, you are still the one who has the choice.0 -
Oooh hang on, I'm not blaming them, I said TRY... they constantly TRY. I am in control of what I do or don't do, and they're in control of the mood they choose the take my refusal of their "goodies" I was trying to find out if we had others around us that seem unable to accept that you're not eating their junk, even if they did "buy it especially" and had we thought about why they take it so personally. I'm curious about WHY they do it.
Heck yeah, if I really fancy something, and I decide it's worth that extra burn in the gym then damnit I shall have it, but not to make them feel better... my food choices isn't a personal attack on them.
Do you really think these people wake up everyday just to think of ways to sabotage your diet?0 -
but, in my experience one leads to two , two leads to three and so on. Best to just not get started
really? hmmm
See in my experience if you want it (it being weight loss) bad enough it doesn't matter if you have 1...you don't go get another...end of discussion.
It's not like it's crack and you go into withdrawal without it I mean...come on....
I would agree. It's ultimately a matter of which you want more, the second serving, or to lose weight. You make the choice yourself.0 -
Good answer Chopper Pilot. I am going to try to remember this when my husband tries to put food in my mouth. He actually pouts if I don't join him in overeating or eating junk food!0
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Oooh hang on, I'm not blaming them, I said TRY... they constantly TRY. I am in control of what I do or don't do, and they're in control of the mood they choose the take my refusal of their "goodies" I was trying to find out if we had others around us that seem unable to accept that you're not eating their junk, even if they did "buy it especially" and had we thought about why they take it so personally. I'm curious about WHY they do it.
Heck yeah, if I really fancy something, and I decide it's worth that extra burn in the gym then damnit I shall have it, but not to make them feel better... my food choices isn't a personal attack on them.
Do you really think these people wake up everyday just to think of ways to sabotage your diet?
No, in the same way that I don't wake up thinking of ways to sabotage myself. The OP was asking WHY people do these things. My bet is even the saboteur doesn't know why. I don't know why I consistently sabotage myself, either, but I have a good bash at doing it every day.0 -
Oooh hang on, I'm not blaming them, I said TRY... they constantly TRY. I am in control of what I do or don't do, and they're in control of the mood they choose the take my refusal of their "goodies" I was trying to find out if we had others around us that seem unable to accept that you're not eating their junk, even if they did "buy it especially" and had we thought about why they take it so personally. I'm curious about WHY they do it.
Heck yeah, if I really fancy something, and I decide it's worth that extra burn in the gym then damnit I shall have it, but not to make them feel better... my food choices isn't a personal attack on them.
Do you really think these people wake up everyday just to think of ways to sabotage your diet?
No, in the same way that I don't wake up thinking of ways to sabotage myself. The OP was asking WHY people do these things. My bet is even the saboteur doesn't know why. I don't know why I consistently sabotage myself, either, but I have a good bash at doing it every day.
Well then it's not sabotage...sabotage is deliberate.
Why do people offer food, because it's the nice thing to do ....I bake all the time, I make a good hearty stew and thicken the broth to gravy, I make bread to go with it and pie and ask people for dinner who are watching their weight...they don't feel I am sabotaging them they feel I am being nice.
The real question here should be why does everyone around "dieters" have to change themselves to suit this one person???0 -
My job. We don't have a fridge or microwave in the crew room, because in reality when you work in fast food they would rather you buy their food when you are on break. And I work at McDonalds. So, yikes. One EVM would blow my calorie allowance away. And lets face it, that side salad on the dollar menu isn't appetizing at all. Its not my kinda salad, being iceburg, carrot shreds, cabbage and a few cherry tomatoes. I like dark leafy greens and a variety of veggies. I get a shoebox size locker, too. So I often find myself leaving my wallet at home on purpose to resist but sometimes I am just too hungry.
My job does it in more than just that way too. I make minimum wage, and usually only get 15 hours a week, paid every two weeks. As you can guess, I have a tight budget.
My last saboteur is A's grandmother. We share a place with her, out of mutual benefit. We all moved in to this place because she couldn't keep her house but can't afford rent on her own. Sadly, she tries dominating everything. It drives me bonkers. I can't get comfortable, you know? A and I work for our money, and she's on disability, but she expects us to do all the chores, and damned if we can have use of any of the bathroom cabinets our set up our own appliances. Its got both of us ready to pull our hair out. Theres going to be a talk about it soon, because its making me stress eat *yeah, I should break that habit myself and I am trying but emotional disorders and coping mechanisms are often pals*. Another way she is my saboteur is she eats my food, or throws it out because she thinks the fridge is too full when its half empty. I buy A's and my groceries for the most part, but budgets tight so I can only afford so much. I get what healthy food I can. Then she eats or chucks it, or does things I find disrespectful. On days where I have worked off enough calories, I like a bit of pasta. I had a jar that I had opened of vodka cream sauce (not cheap) in the fridge. I was out of town for a couple days and when I came home I found it up in my portion of the kitchen cabinets. It had sat in there while I was gone and soured. This past week, she ate all of my sandwich supplies. Seriously. She went on this wacky no sugar diet (which unless your doctor recommends for a reason, you should not do. Its dangerous) and was eating nothing but romaine, carrots, and cucumber. What happened? She binged a few times. But since all she bought for herself was that (though I bought some other stuff for her too) and everything else she bought herself had sugar, she ate my turkey and cheese. Which I don't mind sharing, but jeez let me know at least if you ate that much because I don't like going to make a nice healthy wrap and finding it one slice left. She's also been raiding my coffee beans. Homemade cappuccinos are one of the few less than healthy things I make room for in my diet, because that little guilty pleasure makes eating healthy easier. A just bought me an espresso machine for christmas, along with lots of supplies and some wonderful dark, dark roast coffee beans that smell like heaven.
So, shes stressing me out and my supplies keep disappearing and my job pays me too little to keep up with any of this crap lol...
At least I don't live with my parents anymore though. My father always crushed all hopes and attempts to get fit.0 -
My heart goes out to you. I wish I could think of a solution to your problems. Have you tried to find a better paying job? I admire how strong you are under the circumstances. Take care and good luck!0
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Oooh hang on, I'm not blaming them, I said TRY... they constantly TRY. I am in control of what I do or don't do, and they're in control of the mood they choose the take my refusal of their "goodies" I was trying to find out if we had others around us that seem unable to accept that you're not eating their junk, even if they did "buy it especially" and had we thought about why they take it so personally. I'm curious about WHY they do it.
Heck yeah, if I really fancy something, and I decide it's worth that extra burn in the gym then damnit I shall have it, but not to make them feel better... my food choices isn't a personal attack on them.
Do you really think these people wake up everyday just to think of ways to sabotage your diet?
No, in the same way that I don't wake up thinking of ways to sabotage myself. The OP was asking WHY people do these things. My bet is even the saboteur doesn't know why. I don't know why I consistently sabotage myself, either, but I have a good bash at doing it every day.
Well then it's not sabotage...sabotage is deliberate.
Why do people offer food, because it's the nice thing to do ....I bake all the time, I make a good hearty stew and thicken the broth to gravy, I make bread to go with it and pie and ask people for dinner who are watching their weight...they don't feel I am sabotaging them they feel I am being nice.
The real question here should be why does everyone around "dieters" have to change themselves to suit this one person???
Yep! Right on! Thank you!
You know, sometimes people just want to be nice. They aren't trying to sabotage anything. It's pretty narcissistic to think that are - and it's pretty obnoxious to assume they THEY are the ones with issues because they give you chocolate as a present.
You're on a diet? Great. Don't expect the whole world to change to suit your dietary needs.
To use a word as extreme as sabotage reflects paranoia or blame.0 -
Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.
You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?
There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.
And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.
Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.
You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.
Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.
Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.
Thank you for this. Partly for the lesson, but mostly for the visual of Orlando Bloom as Legolas blowing in my ear while he teaches me to fire arrows :-D
That IS nice imagery. OP, I don't think a positive attitude will magically make weight melt off, but I do believe it's a strong asset in everything you do. When you focus on "struggle," you're only hurting yourself in the long run. Do an experiment, and for 1 month, when you are offered something, focus on being grateful for the thought/kind intent. And yes, DO assume there is positive intent.
Since you already know what some of these situations are, sit down & frame them for yourself now. "That is really thoughtful of them to include me" "That's really admirable that eyeballing portions & having occasional treats works so well for him. I'll get there with all this measuring practice I'm doing!" - or whatever. Write 'em down & keep 'em with you.
It might sound dorky, but I really do believe we can be happier and more successful when we approach things with a genuinely positive attitude. Not that you're being super-negative, but you really might find benefit in trying another angle.
Wishing you all success :flowerforyou:0 -
Sobatage doesn't seem like the right word for my example. My family and fiance are always saying " you're beautiful the way you are, now eat some pizza with us."
By doing it that way it makes me feel like I'm being rude and not accepting the compliment by not eating the pizza. They're trying to be nice, but its super unhelpful lol.
I just have to keep my goal in mind!0
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