Saboteurs
FrankenBeanz
Posts: 176 Member
A few things that have happened have got me thinking - who are your saboteurs and what are their movites?
Who are those people, or THINGS that try to undermine your efforts and lead you astray? wether you're losing weight, gaining bulk or maintaining that amazing bod.
I have a few, two of my colleagues are constantly pushing cakes and sweets in the office, they're bothslim ladies , yet they're constantly cycling fad diets and seem unable to accept that I just don't want one of their muffins, or a bar of chocolate. They're very aware that I'm trying to shed the pounds, yet for my birthday one of them bought me a 1KG block of cadburys dairy milk. Why? I am not sure... I guess its nice to see others fail for some people... maybe it's nice having a fatty around to balance things out.
My husband is very much of the "everything in moderation" mind, which is fab - for him. I find if i stray a little, I stray a lot... a sneaky muffin leads me to McDonalds by the end of the week - All or nothing (hence my weight fluctuating around the same 8lbs this past year) he likes to have his own treats and my strict moments seem to make him feel guilty. He's in way better shape than me and finds it easy to drop a few extra pounds when the time calls for it.
So folks - who comes to mind for you, and how do you keep yourself on tract despite the temptations.
Who are those people, or THINGS that try to undermine your efforts and lead you astray? wether you're losing weight, gaining bulk or maintaining that amazing bod.
I have a few, two of my colleagues are constantly pushing cakes and sweets in the office, they're bothslim ladies , yet they're constantly cycling fad diets and seem unable to accept that I just don't want one of their muffins, or a bar of chocolate. They're very aware that I'm trying to shed the pounds, yet for my birthday one of them bought me a 1KG block of cadburys dairy milk. Why? I am not sure... I guess its nice to see others fail for some people... maybe it's nice having a fatty around to balance things out.
My husband is very much of the "everything in moderation" mind, which is fab - for him. I find if i stray a little, I stray a lot... a sneaky muffin leads me to McDonalds by the end of the week - All or nothing (hence my weight fluctuating around the same 8lbs this past year) he likes to have his own treats and my strict moments seem to make him feel guilty. He's in way better shape than me and finds it easy to drop a few extra pounds when the time calls for it.
So folks - who comes to mind for you, and how do you keep yourself on tract despite the temptations.
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Replies
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My boyfriend is always buying tons of junk food-- it's kind of funny how when I go grocery shopping, I come home with fruits and vegetables, and when he goes shopping, he comes home with M&Ms and Doritos-- but the worst thing is he'll have snacks and leave them out. I'm the kind of person who will start craving junk food if I see it lying around... for instance, there is a bag of Doritos on the coffee table in our apartment right now. It's clipped closed, but there it is staring at me whenever I go into the living room. I ask him to put away his junk food, but even when he does that... I still see it the moment I enter the kitchen. It really makes it hard to eat right .0
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Celebrate that you've lost 33 pounds. That means youre doing something right. Congrats!
As far as saboteurs, the only person that is to blame - to put bluntly - is YOU. Nobody is putting a gun to your head and telling you to eat the chocolate bar, or the candy or the chips. The decision is yours to put that food in your mouth. Sure, it makes it harder when it's out there in front of you, but you'll always be confronted with challenges that test your resolve. If it's important to you, you wont let it bother you.
For instance, I LOVE craft beer. And I could easily drink a six-pack a day. But since I committed to losing weight and getting back in shape, I told myself I will only reward myself when I reach my goal.. not before. So last weekend, I went to a cinema drafthouse (awesome beers on tap - love this place) and CHOSE to drink water and eat a salad, even though all my friends were drinking beers. We also went to tour 2 different breweries and a distillery - and I only sipped a few tasters that equaled to less than a 10 oz in total. I accounted for those calories and instead of pizza or burgers for dinner, I again made the conscious decision to have a salad.
This is HUGE for me. This is what I was afraid I wouldnt be able to do. Peer pressure, going out with friends and feeling left out if Im not drinking, etc. But you know what? Im not doing it for them. I'm doing this for me. And you know what else? I wont let anyone else dictate how I live. I wont let someone guilt me into eating garbage. I will make the choice to eat and drink what will get me to my goal.
So just because it's in front of you, doesnt mean you have to eat it. You have to stay strong and choose to make the right decision for you. Dont make excuses or blame others. When you reach your goal, you can have some of this stuff in moderation and it wont affect you as much, but right now its a trigger. You cant totally avoid everything and need to face your weaknesses. You can choose to rise up and be strong enough to not let it take control of you.
Just remember, you control your actions. You control what you do and put in your body. It's your CHOICE!
The way I have stayed strong so far is by keeping an eye on the prize. I know that better health and fitness feels a hell of a lot better than any food tastes. I wont let anything come between me and my goals. I thrive on progress and results and once I've made my mind up on accomplishing something, I see it through to the end.
So hopefully I was able to spark some motivation or encouragement with this - I wish you all the best!0 -
My Saboteur = Me
I cannot control what others do (nor do I want to) but I can sure control what I do. If I let someone influence me it's my own fault.
I have to keep a wary eye on myself0 -
I don't have one because no one is out to get me. I am fully in control of my intake.0
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Me, but several members of my family are willing accomplices.
Let's make cookie sandwiches with frosting!
Let's go to Outback! (their bread and butter is the devil)
You don't need to lose anymore weight! (Even if that were absolutely true, I have to fight every day not to gain it.)
I think they should be charged as accessories at very least and sentenced to constantly hearing me whine about how my jeans don't fit anymore. Also, any junk-food left out in plain sight for more than two days is subject to confiscation. Candy belongs in the cabinet, not on the counter.0 -
For instance, I LOVE craft beer. And I could easily drink a six-pack a day. But since I committed to losing weight and getting back in shape, I told myself I will only reward myself when I reach my goal.. not before. So last weekend, I went to a cinema drafthouse (awesome beers on tap - love this place) and CHOSE to drink water and eat a salad, even though all my friends were drinking beers. We also went to tour 2 different breweries and a distillery - and I only sipped a few tasters that equaled to less than a 10 oz in total. I accounted for those calories and instead of pizza or burgers for dinner, I again made the conscious decision to have a salad.
Didn't you feel sad that you were depriving yourself of the fancy beers and stuff?
I always have a little special rule, if it's something fancy/expensive/rare/new/homemade, I'll give it a try. It's mostly prepackaged crap (like those darn Doritos) that I try to avoid.0 -
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I don't think I have any saboteurs. Not that I've noticed anyway. If people give or offer me food, I appreciate it. If I don't want it, I say thanks and turn it down (assuming it's a casual offering, not a gift). I like it when people give me chocolate for my birthday! I try not to assume that they are trying to ruin my life. It's my choice what I eat or don't eat.0
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For instance, I LOVE craft beer. And I could easily drink a six-pack a day. But since I committed to losing weight and getting back in shape, I told myself I will only reward myself when I reach my goal.. not before. So last weekend, I went to a cinema drafthouse (awesome beers on tap - love this place) and CHOSE to drink water and eat a salad, even though all my friends were drinking beers. We also went to tour 2 different breweries and a distillery - and I only sipped a few tasters that equaled to less than a 10 oz in total. I accounted for those calories and instead of pizza or burgers for dinner, I again made the conscious decision to have a salad.
Didn't you feel sad that you were depriving yourself of the fancy beers and stuff?
I always have a little special rule, if it's something fancy/expensive/rare/new/homemade, I'll give it a try. It's mostly prepackaged crap (like those darn Doritos) that I try to avoid.
I agree. That sounds like you are punishing yourself on a night out with friends. One beer with salad won't undo all the work that you've done. If you dont treat yourself every now and then, you may find yourself wrist deep in chocolate cake.0 -
When i began, i cut chocolate out completely. 6 months and the most choc i had was two jaffas every few days. i didn't miss it. I do eat chocolate now but in moderation. I'm more aware of callories and nutritian now so feel i can allow myself things, in moderation. It may not work for you now, but give it time and i'm sure it will.
People don't bother trying to tempt me with things now as they know i'll say no. Though i do get the occasional "oh eat a few doughnuts". No thanks!0 -
Back when I was living with my father he was constantly bringing home fast food, junk food, and baking sweets- all for me. He knew I was trying to lose weight (at the time I was almost 200 lbs) and had a lot to say about how "life is short" and "relax a little." My father was/is also a type 2 diabetic and had doctor's orders to lose weight (he was about 300 lbs) and he ate all the food he brought home/made, thus sabotaging himself, too. I think he was trying to bring me down with him.
But, I've learned since then that the only person who can really sabotage yourself is you. Nobody in the world has power over what you put in your body besides you.0 -
Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.
You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?
There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.
And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.
Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.
You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.
Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.
Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.0 -
Nobody so far, I never share or take food from anyone so it's not as if it's offered to me either. Someone did offer me a few packs of crisps as she didn't like the flavour and I did not even feel tempted...I feel the longer you've been at it and got your eye on the goal, the easier it becomes to say no and ignore everything else around you.0
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My mother.
She is always saying I am too thin and used to turn up at my house with food all the time. She does the same to my sisters. And it is always highly processed sugary stuff.
We all had to repeatedly tell her 'Food is not love'.
But she is a feeder.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=feeder0 -
Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.
You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?
There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.
And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.
Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.
You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.
Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.
Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.0 -
just focus on your goals don't let other to put you down and you have to control what you eat nothing you can do about what others do or eat remember is you that wants to change and i believe you can0
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I am responsible for myself...period. If my husband chooses to bring home a cheesecake, then that is awesome. I have the option of eating a slice and try to fit it into my macros.
I don't blame other people for my lack of will power when it comes to food.0 -
My job. We don't have a fridge or microwave in the crew room, because in reality when you work in fast food they would rather you buy their food when you are on break. And I work at McDonalds. So, yikes. One EVM would blow my calorie allowance away. And lets face it, that side salad on the dollar menu isn't appetizing at all. Its not my kinda salad, being iceburg, carrot shreds, cabbage and a few cherry tomatoes. I like dark leafy greens and a variety of veggies. I get a shoebox size locker, too. So I often find myself leaving my wallet at home on purpose to resist but sometimes I am just too hungry.
My job does it in more than just that way too. I make minimum wage, and usually only get 15 hours a week, paid every two weeks. As you can guess, I have a tight budget.
My last saboteur is A's grandmother. We share a place with her, out of mutual benefit. We all moved in to this place because she couldn't keep her house but can't afford rent on her own. Sadly, she tries dominating everything. It drives me bonkers. I can't get comfortable, you know? A and I work for our money, and she's on disability, but she expects us to do all the chores, and damned if we can have use of any of the bathroom cabinets our set up our own appliances. Its got both of us ready to pull our hair out. Theres going to be a talk about it soon, because its making me stress eat *yeah, I should break that habit myself and I am trying but emotional disorders and coping mechanisms are often pals*. Another way she is my saboteur is she eats my food, or throws it out because she thinks the fridge is too full when its half empty. I buy A's and my groceries for the most part, but budgets tight so I can only afford so much. I get what healthy food I can. Then she eats or chucks it, or does things I find disrespectful. On days where I have worked off enough calories, I like a bit of pasta. I had a jar that I had opened of vodka cream sauce (not cheap) in the fridge. I was out of town for a couple days and when I came home I found it up in my portion of the kitchen cabinets. It had sat in there while I was gone and soured. This past week, she ate all of my sandwich supplies. Seriously. She went on this wacky no sugar diet (which unless your doctor recommends for a reason, you should not do. Its dangerous) and was eating nothing but romaine, carrots, and cucumber. What happened? She binged a few times. But since all she bought for herself was that (though I bought some other stuff for her too) and everything else she bought herself had sugar, she ate my turkey and cheese. Which I don't mind sharing, but jeez let me know at least if you ate that much because I don't like going to make a nice healthy wrap and finding it one slice left. She's also been raiding my coffee beans. Homemade cappuccinos are one of the few less than healthy things I make room for in my diet, because that little guilty pleasure makes eating healthy easier. A just bought me an espresso machine for christmas, along with lots of supplies and some wonderful dark, dark roast coffee beans that smell like heaven.
So, shes stressing me out and my supplies keep disappearing and my job pays me too little to keep up with any of this crap lol...
At least I don't live with my parents anymore though. My father always crushed all hopes and attempts to get fit.0 -
My mother is horrendous - she tells me I'm too fat then tries to make me eat two roast dinners! :laugh:0
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My Saboteur = Me
I cannot control what others do (nor do I want to) but I can sure control what I do. If I let someone influence me it's my own fault.
I have to keep a wary eye on myself
This. No one in my life attempts to undermine me. Everyone around me is supportive, caring and positive. I'm very blessed that way.
I, however, am my own worst enemy, and not just in weight loss but in many aspects of life: work, money, study, etc. And I honestly don't know why I do it. But I do, and I have to battle with myself every day.0 -
Oooh hang on, I'm not blaming them, I said TRY... they constantly TRY. I am in control of what I do or don't do, and they're in control of the mood they choose the take my refusal of their "goodies" I was trying to find out if we had others around us that seem unable to accept that you're not eating their junk, even if they did "buy it especially" and had we thought about why they take it so personally. I'm curious about WHY they do it.
Heck yeah, if I really fancy something, and I decide it's worth that extra burn in the gym then damnit I shall have it, but not to make them feel better... my food choices isn't a personal attack on them.0 -
People-wise, other than myself no one as soon as I realised I didn't have to eat the treats brought into the office. I'm generally of the mindset that if I fancy it and it fits in my calorie allowance then I'll have it. However, there are certain trigger foods that I know I can't eat in moderation. Its like I turn into the Cookie Monster or something and all my good intentions and willpower disappear. So these are foods I don't eat any of other than at very special occasions when I'm prepared to torpedo my calories allowance completely and know I'll have to sweat it out in the gym! Things like Jaffa Cakes - half a packet minimum. Dry Roasted peanuts and honey roasted Cashew Nuts are to be avoided by me!0
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Didn't you feel sad that you were depriving yourself of the fancy beers and stuff?0
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no one can sabotage you but yourself.......
geez people get a backbone or you have no drive at all.
This...
Why would anyone try to willngly sabatoge anothers weight loss? I mean really...think about it...
*two co-workers book a meeting to try and figure out how to make you not lose weight*
or
*Mother sits at home thinking I want my kid fat let me make them nom nom food and take it to them so they get fat*
Sabotoge - deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something),0 -
Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.
You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?
There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.
And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.
Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.
You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.
Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.
Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.
Thank you for this. Partly for the lesson, but mostly for the visual of Orlando Bloom as Legolas blowing in my ear while he teaches me to fire arrows :-D0 -
I am my own worst and only saboteur. No one puts a gun to my head and makes me eat bad things. In fact, I eat the bad things with much joy. Stop blaming others and take resopnsibility for your own actions.0
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but, in my experience one leads to two , two leads to three and so on. Best to just not get started0
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I have always and only ever been my own saboteur. It's easy to blame it on someone else for offering or pressuring us to eat something, but we are the ones who make the choice to put the food into our own mouths. When I was pregnant the first time I gained 70 pounds, and I blamed my mother because she told me to "feed those cravings". However, I realized later that it was really just me who ate all the ice cream, pudding and pasta that made me gain so much weight. We all want to make each other happy, and in our current culture a big part of that is food. Ultimately we have to hold our own selves accountable for what we choose to do. Caving in to pressure is not a good excuse. In another context: if someone offered me cocaine and really pressured me to snort it, I'd never do it. So why cave in when someone pressures me to eat something I don't want to eat?0
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but, in my experience one leads to two , two leads to three and so on. Best to just not get started
really? hmmm
See in my experience if you want it (it being weight loss) bad enough it doesn't matter if you have 1...you don't go get another...end of discussion.
It's not like it's crack and you go into withdrawal without it I mean...come on....0 -
People can try to sabotage your weight loss, but ultimately the choice to give in or not is yours.
I regained almost all of my weight at one point, largely because of constantly facing a saboteur, but I don't really blame the saboteur, I chose to eat the things they constantly offered. Now, there were reasons that my resolve was weak at that point, stresses that I faced that made it difficult to take control and be firm... but it was still my choice.
My husband made things very difficult for me over the month of December, even though I was very specific that for once I didn't want to attend every party, every festivity, I figured for just one year, to keep my weight loss moving along, we could skip some things and only indulge on the big events. My husband had other ideas and wanted to eat out several times a week, plus attend every dinner, potluck, and party we were invited to, plus take me to a desert concert, plus a two day getaway. All great fun stuff, but not very conducive to weight loss!
Well, my weight loss did slow a little, but I made the best choices I could and still managed to lose weight over that month.
Ultimately, the choice is yours.
Some people may sabotage unintentionally, not really thinking about the fact that you are trying to lose weight. Some may have a hidden agenda, such as a significant other who is insecure and worried you'll leave them if you lose weight. But either way, unless they are tying you down and shoveling the food into your mouth, you are still the one who has the choice.0
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