Need Help!! - Going to Visit Less Than Healthy Friends

maanders
maanders Posts: 39 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all!

Next weekend, but husband and I will be going out of town to visit some friends in another state. We will be staying with them for 4 days.

These people are great, longtime friends of my husband's and are great people. But, they are NOT healthy and don't really watch what they eat. In fact, most food served at their house is fried or loaded with sugar and salt.

To top it off, they live in a pretty small town in the mid-west (about 5000 people). We have been out to eat in this town several times, and it is very difficult to find healthy items on any of the restaurant menus there. (On the "salad" bar at one place, there was canned fruit in syrup, cottage cheese, ham, cheese, pudding, lettuce and only two actual vegetables...it's really sad actually).

I don't want this long weekend to derail my efforts, so I am thinking about making my own food for the weekend, packing it up, and taking it with me.

But, I don't want to offend our friends by bringing my own food and not eating what they have to offer. Would you be offended by this?

Help please.

Replies

  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    It is only 4 days, try to make the best decisions and get back to it when you get home.
  • maanders
    maanders Posts: 39 Member
    It is only 4 days, try to make the best decisions and get back to it when you get home.

    I feel like that kind of attitude is what got me over 200 lbs. in the first place. I tend to find that if I allow myself to let down my food guard down, then all of a sudden 4 days turns into 5 days turns into a month of not eating well.

    Maybe this is just something I need to tackle, but I am currently afraid to let my guard down regarding food since I haven't been doing this long enough to have really established a habit of good eating.
  • Rhumax67
    Rhumax67 Posts: 162 Member
    I'd be offended unless the guests let me know before arriving.
  • maanders
    maanders Posts: 39 Member
    I'd be offended unless the guests let me know before arriving.

    Very good point. If I do bring my own stuff, I'll make sure to let them know beforehand. Thanks.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I'd be offended unless the guests let me know before arriving.

    I'd be offended, too.

    But, at the same time, I'm so open to cooking different things for people's dietary needs. If these are such good friends, why don't you just call them and explain yourself. Ask if they can modify a bit. And then offer to cook one night...
  • Leisalynn84
    Leisalynn84 Posts: 113 Member
    Can you tell a white lie and say you are under doctors orders to eat more veggies and no fried food? It would be polite to say something ahead of time if you are planning on not eating their food, just so they don't buy extra food that you won't be eating.

    I can soooo relate to 4 days turning into 5 turning into a month of bad eating! i think it's awesome that you are planning ahead and trying to avoid that! Good luck!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Could you just let them know that you are trying to lose weight and need some lower calorie food options? I would not be offended if someone did this. For example, I had guests over Christmas and one let me know that he was eating gluten free. So, I provided gluten free options for him.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    You say the problem is 4 days turns into 5days, turns into a week etc etc... It doesn't have to... You choose what to eat on that 5th day, whether it's healthy or not....
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Can you tell a white lie and say you are under doctors orders to eat more veggies and no fried food? It would be polite to say something ahead of time if you are planning on not eating their food, just so they don't buy extra food that you won't be eating.

    I can soooo relate to 4 days turning into 5 turning into a month of bad eating! i think it's awesome that you are planning ahead and trying to avoid that! Good luck!

    I wouldn't even lie. These are FRIENDS. She should be able to let them know that she's trying to lose weight, it's working and she doesn't want to get off track. Knowing this they may revise their own menu. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

    I would be offended if my friend thought she had to lie to me to make me feel better. I'd also be offended if she assumed I wouldn't be willing to help her out.
  • maanders
    maanders Posts: 39 Member
    Definitely don't want to lie. They are friends. And, honestly, people can just look at me and know I need to lose weight, so why hide it?

    I do like the ideas of offering to cook some. I could definitely do that!!
  • maanders
    maanders Posts: 39 Member
    You say the problem is 4 days turns into 5days, turns into a week etc etc... It doesn't have to... You choose what to eat on that 5th day, whether it's healthy or not....

    Agree!! I am just trying to recognize that that is a weakness I have. And, taking baby steps to work on it.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Definitely don't want to lie. They are friends. And, honestly, people can just look at me and know I need to lose weight, so why hide it?

    I do like the ideas of offering to cook some. I could definitely do that!!

    Right on!

    I think as long as you frame the discussion on you and what makes you feel good when you eat it, as opposed to attacking what they eat, you should be fine.
  • arrseegee
    arrseegee Posts: 575 Member
    I'd probably also be offended and think it was a bit ridiculous if I wasn't into healthy eating myself.

    Can you just try to limit the damage for four days, e.g. be quite careful about the amounts you are eating, perhaps only eat a portion of the food when you go out if it's really bad? I think that's better than lying, and yes it's going to require some serious willpower but then again you do know what you should/shouldn't be eating, and it's already required some serious willpower to get to where you have got already. If you get questioned about it then be honest, if they're good friends they should understand.

    If you accept that it'll be four days of not the best food, but be prepared to come home and then eat 'your way' again, then I think you can manage it. I do understand the fear of four days becoming five months of bad eating, but it doesn't have to be that way.
  • kickivale
    kickivale Posts: 260 Member
    I have a lot a friends with restrictions….no dairy, gluten free, vegan, organic and non processed only, etc etc etc.
    I never feel upset when they let me know ahead of time what they can and can't have at my house. I sort of like the culinary challenge :)
    I think the fact that you really like these people means the best thing would be honesty! I also think it's possible they will be really happy for you.
  • lmhbuss
    lmhbuss Posts: 282 Member
    I would insist that as a guest in their home, I be allowed to cook a few of the meals, just to say thank you for their hospitality. Then I would bring ingredients for a few tasty and healthy meals. Then I would eat their food the rest of the time and just try to limit my portions of the really bad stuff.

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