How To Get Back On Track After Losing Your Mom

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mom. My mother is also my best friend and supporter as well, and I cannot imagine how devastating it would be to lose her.
I joined this site right after the death of a cousin that I was fairly close to. She was far too young to pass away, but she had an early onset of a very aggressive cancer and was taken far too early. I think for me, it just made me realize that life is precious, and you never know when your time on this earth will end. I'd been struggling with my weight for years and hadn't been able to make much progress, but then I thought, I want to enjoy my life to the fullest and not take my time for granted. For me, that meant being able to do all of the things that my weight sometimes held me back from: riding a bike, going for a hike or trying a yoga class.

I found that I tried to use the good memories I had of my loved one as my strength - and I keep thinking that I want to make her proud of me - since I'm sure she's still with me somehow.

I don't know if any of this resonates with you - I realize it's not the same as losing one's mother - but I hope it helps a little.

Oh Ladina, I can feel your pain & sorrow from here and I can honestly say .. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Mum to breast cancer almost 5 years ago.

This much I know, you will never stop missing her but the days will get easier, over time you will start to find peace & even joy (yes joy) in knowing that she is still with you every single step of the way. Trust me, you will find new ways to talk to her, to celebrate her and to incorporate her into your daily life.

I know it feels like you are drowning in grief but just take a deep breath and I hope you will find that you are actually 'treading water' and not sinking.

No one can tell you how to find your out of this maze of grief - but trust me, you will find your way.

Your way Ladina because it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - this is your grief and everyone grieves, remembers & moves forward in their own way & time. There is no right or wrong way!

I consider my seemingly endless grief for my Mum as her last gift to me because through it I found me, a new me! A me my mother would be very proud of.

Call me crazy but I still have (and always will) my Mum's old bowling ball sitting on the coffee table in my living room and I talk to it all the time - for me, it represents my Mum. And, I write her letters all the time. (they are saved in an old cigar box so I can reread them ... as needed).

It might not feel like it just yet but you are already back on track Ladina just by coming back here and reaching out.

Perhaps you come back because your heart knows how proud your Mum would be knowing that in her passing you found the strength & courage to keep moving forward and that it didn't break you.

You don't need to run a marathon next week, but maybe you will next year - in your Mum's name - to celebrate her life, her courage and to show her that she is still your biggest fan!

I wish I could promise you that the pain goes away, it doesn't but it does get little easier every day.

Just breath and take the next step, for your Mum