I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL

fitnotskinnyxo · January 2014

I love to eat healthy, don't get me wrong. i enjoy the feeling of being healthy, and more importantly, I am much more confident in the way that I look now. But, I also feel SO ANGRY when I eat everything in plain sight simply because I am letting "loose" one day. My friends/family are SO supportive, but I hate not being able to just go out for dinner with them and have a good time because there is no way that I could fit the food that they eat without eating NOTHING but that the entire day! I guess my point is, I just want to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied.

It just sucks because id love to order pizza, bake cookies and brownies, and slop around the entire day once in a while.

Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

Silvara_11 · January 2014

One day once in a while shouldn't be a problem, just have to make sure you get a good work out in before hand and then just enjoy it. Having a tool like MFP can help you figure out what you need to burn on those off days. Enjoy it and use the tools you have!

mrsharris7411 · January 2014

I do it, I just TRY to do it smart. When I go out, or cook something, I know is high fat/calories, I make sure I have a salad and a good vegetable too. Then I just eat them first and end up eating only a moderate portion of the delicious something I shouldn't have, and taking the rest home for the hubby.

When I make brownies or cakes, I leave them in the kitchen and only get a small one, take it to the couch or dining room. This way I have to get up to get another, and usually decide I'm fine without it.

twixlepennie · January 2014

Are you in maintenance? What is your maintenance calories set to? I eat out all the time-this week I went to an all you can eat pizza buffet, subway, Arbys (those two were on the same day), going to Mcds for lunch today and out for pizza tonight. And I'm maintaining fine

I've found what works best for me is to eat slightly under my maintenance calories on the days I'm eating at home, and then I carry those calories over to the days where I go out/weekends. I don't look at daily calories but instead at a week's worth. I've been doing this for a while now and it's working great!

Dnarules · January 2014

It sounds like you may be over restricting yourself. When I was actively losing weight, I went out to eat at least 2 times a week. I just tried to make better choices than I used to make, such as one slice of pizza with a side salad instead of three slices of pizza. But if I made bad choices every once in a while, I didn't let it bother me. I just got back on track the next day.

How many calories are you eating? You may have them set too low.

Siansonea · January 2014

What you're describing IS normal. As long as you don't do it every day, a total bloatfest every once in a while is good for the soul. As long as you spend the next day or so in a bit of a deficit, you shouldn't mess up your maintenance. I recently had a week of ungoverned eating when I was away on a business trip, and I thought when I got back that I would have gained five pounds. It was more like three pounds, and after a week of casual "watching it", I was back to my goal. I didn't even log during that time. Remember, maintenance isn't about being the exact same weight every morning, it's about not letting little weight fluctuations become big weight fluctuations.

PearlAng · January 2014

You love pizza, you love eating healthy, so why not both? Order pizza with your friends, have a slice or two and have a tossed salad with it.

fitnotskinnyxo · January 2014

Yes im in maintenance and my calories are set to 1740. It's just so hard for me to fit in restaurant food and still feel satisfied at the end of the day so I try not to do it. Is that my problem? I am hungrier at night so I try to save most (1300) of my calories for then BUT I STILL feel hungry while eating things like fruit, dark chocolate, a quest bar, almond milk, etc ALL after dinner

Pete0725 · January 2014

Don't torture yourself. You have to change your mindset that losing or maintaining means you cannot partake in certain foods. AS a previous poster said, manage your intake so that you can enjoy outings with your family. Everything can be eaten - in moderation.

One of the key points of our journey is to stop looking at food at a punishment. It is not, it should be enjoyed but not abused. One day, or one meal, is definitely not considered abuse.

darrensurrey · January 2014

Or make your own pizza.

Pizza base (bread disk)
Cheese
Tomato puree
Choice of toppings.

Wait, what's so unhealthy about pizza? Is bread poisonous?

devil_in_a_blue_dress · January 2014

Um, this is no way to live and ultimately won't be sustainable.

I eat out regularly, make a lot of cupcakes, and whatever I want. I've lost a good bit of weight and haven't gained any of it back. There is no reason what you are describing (pizza/brownies) can't be fit into a regular day of losing with planning and if you are maintaining, you probably don't need to plan nearly as much.

DamePiglet · January 2014

This.
Frankly, this is what people who have never been overweight do naturally.

twixlepennie · January 2014

I used to have a big issue with mindless night time snacking, back before I lost weight, (I'd sit down at 8pm with a book and a can of Pringles and finish the whole can oiy!). So, during weight loss that was one of the things I worked on and I slowly pushed my eating window back, until it cut off at 7pm. It was a weight loss tool that I've now carried over into maintenance

Maybe doing something similar would be helpful to you, if the night time eating is a problem? I realized that for me, it was about habitual eating and not because I was actually hungry. I'm to the point where now I don't even think of food at night-last night I made cupcakes for a party today and my husband and kids were devouring a pkg of Oreos at the same time. It honestly didn't even cross my mind to eat any of it

My maintenance calories are also higher than yours as well-mine are at around 2,200. How long have you been in maintenance for? Are you sure that's your top end for maintenance calories-have you played around with eating a bit more and seeing what happens? For me, I found I was able to bump mine up by quite a bit, and still maintain.

KyleB65 · January 2014

I completely understand the pressure from family & friends to be "normal". I get it all the time.

But, NEVER, EVER, strive to be NORMAL! Always be unique! Always follow what your heart tells you. Always follow the path you decide on. It will never be easy and it is very possible some of your current friends and acquaintances will walk away. But, those who stick around and those new friends you make on your journey will be worth the effort.

Look out into the world. Every single successful person, no matter what industry or field, got there being true to their personal vision. No one impacts the world by being NORMAL.

I was normal for a long time and it almost killed me. I have never been happier than I am now that I decided to be true to myself.

I wish all the best on your journey!

SunofaBeach14 · January 2014

I eat normal food. I happen to eat hamburgers and pizza, and drink a fair amount of beer. It's all in the mix, portions, and frequency.

You don't have to set your life up as an ascetic to be healthy.

knra_grl · January 2014

most restaraunts have lean meats (ie: lean steak or chicken breast) potoato options (get a baked potoato) and steamed veg or salads - control your portion by moving half to the other side of the plate to take home (lunch tomorrow). Or tell yourself that you are allowed to be normal and the occassional splurge will not diminish all that you have already accomplished. Tomorrow is another day to eat sensibly and burn calories. You are maintaining, fit and active a night out would be good for you.

Siansonea · January 2014

That's a lot of needless anxiety. I imagine, like the rest of us, it took you awhile to lose weight, that it happened slowly. Well, gaining weight happens just as gradually. You have to eat a calorie surplus on a sustained basis to gain weight, a day or so of surplus here and there isn't going to suddenly pack on the pounds, it doesn't work like that. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. "Maintenance" isn't about pinpoint accuracy, it's about forming sustainable eating habits. For me, it's about using my "diet meals" on days when I am above my maintenance weight, and just eating whatever on days when I'm at or below my maintenance weight. You don't win a prize for unwavering weight measurements, there should be a bit of wobble.

nxd10 · January 2014

I am from a foody family and I love to eat. I'm also in a band and we all love to eat at rehearsals.

I eat everything I enjoy. I am enough of a food lover to that I know foods that look good and don't taste good enough to be worth the calories. And I don't eat a lot of anything that has a lot of calories.

One thing I have learned is that the first bite is the best. So really enjoying a small helping is fantastic. Eating more is rarely better. So I eat something awesome and, if I just want to eat, munch on something else that has few calories. And, if I STILL want more of that scrumpius thing - I eat it.

That's what logs are for - you can balance it out.

nxd10 · January 2014

Appetizers.

fitnotskinnyxo · January 2014

I have been at maintenance for quite a while. Nearly 10 months. How do you go on about feeling SATISFIED. I always find myself hungry and thinking about food.. even if I just ate. I do try to eat all of my calories but certainly have days when I am eating less than my goal. Does carrying over calories actually work? I'm just so confused.. i have no idea how to ENJOY my life which is what I ultimately want to do and still feel like I am on track. It's like ever since i decided that I would "lose weight," food has become what EVERYTHING revolves around. Do you guys now understand why i want to feel "normal"

devil_in_a_blue_dress · January 2014

1740 for maintenance seems kind of low to me. I eat 1,700 to lose a pound a week.

ponycyndi · January 2014

I hope you are able to find a way to cope with your binging. There is a lot of practical advice on this thread.

I'd like to add that when I came to the realization that "normal" is a misnomer, that there is NO. SUCH. THING. Then I was able to live and care for myself, instead of comparing myself to others.

SunofaBeach14 · January 2014

I can cut as low as 1800 during a cut and I'm a guy. This is going to depend on a variety of factors.

ModQuad · January 2014

I feel your pain. My coworkers eat pastries for breakfast and big cheesy sandwiches for lunch every day. They always joke that I should be the one eating the junk b/c I "deserve" it for how healthy I eat and how much exercise I do. It sometimes depresses me that I can't indulge like them. Sometimes I just REALLY REALLY WANT those pastries, but I don't want to fall back on old habits and I don't want to compromise my fitness.

I plan ahead if I want to treat myself to something indulgent or when I know that kind of food is my only option... like when I have a work meeting that will be catered by a pizzeria, or when I take my nieces of nephews out to ice cream. I'll make sure my other meals are lower cal and I'll chose lighter snacks (just celery instead of celery with peanut butter... a handful of berries with my breakfast oatmeal instead of a more calorically dense fruit like a banana). It's amazing how many calories you can shave off the day with small changes. If i have time to do extra exercise beforehand, I'll do that too, usually before the indulgence not afterwards so I don't worry.

Dnarules · January 2014

I was thinking this as well. When I was in maintenance, I could eat 2000-2200 calories a day while exercising 4 to 5 days a week. OP, maybe try adding 100 calories a day for a few weeks and see what happens. If you don't gain, you can try 100 more. You might be surprised. You may be able to eat more.

devil_in_a_blue_dress · January 2014

I go about feeling satisfied by fiddling with my macros. 35% carbs, 30% fat, 35% protein, currently - but sometimes I more carbs and less fat/protein. I prelog days I don't plan on eating out. I save calories to help me fit in extra special meals.

AllonsYtotheTardis · January 2014

I was thinking the same thing. It does sound low.

AllonsYtotheTardis · January 2014

^^ This. So much this. I'm discovering that my maintenance calories are at least 200 more than what MFP calculated for me.

Siansonea · January 2014

And this is why I didn't make tons of lifestyle changes when I decided to lose weight, I just cut calories and called it a day. You've built this whole identity around "weight loss", and now that you don't have any more weight to lose, you have to focus all that energy on "maintenance", which is a pretty achievable goal if you're simply paying attention to the scale on a regular basis. But it can't be that simple, it has to be work, right? You worked hard to get where you are, you did all this exercise and ate all these special foods and did all this research and blahblahblah. But you could have achieved the same result by just eating what you always ate, just less of it. And now you could be maintaining by just eating what you always ate, but less of it than before you lost weight. You're making this harder than it has to be and focusing on micromanaging your weight and your calories, and at this stage, you should be focusing less on that and learning how to maintain without the "training wheels" of calorie limits and daily logging.

And if managing hunger is an issue, do the same thing you do when you're trying to lose—prioritize fat and protein, and ditch carbs and sugar. Fiber is also good.

And if you've been maintaining for 10 months, you've probably learned a thing or two, you just don't realize it yet.

twixlepennie · January 2014

As someone else said-MFP's maintenance calories were set to low for me-going by TDEE however, was spot on. I used this calculator
http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html

And yes, going by weekly calories instead of focusing on daily ones is working great for me

But, I also know the pattern my weight will follow with this-I always am at the high point of my maintenance range on Monday, and by Friday I am at the low point. That's because I tend to eat higher calories on the weekend. But, it all averages out and I've consistently stayed within my maintenance range doing this.

lean1979 · January 2014

Oh I feel you so much! I have nothing to add in my comment that others haven't already said. I belive you can eat out, I'm planning to do so in our favorite restaurant tomorrow, it's a buffé and still feel good about myself. If you overeat once in a while it's no biggie, wont break a good streak if you don't do it to often. And if you want to go out without overeating, just eat a little bit less of everything. Stop at the Point of diminishing returns and you'll be fine. You'll still be full and satisfied but not feeling like crap. Then if you want to just workout a bit extra that day or the days after.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/sv/blog/lean1979

I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL

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