I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL
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You dont have to be miserable to be healthy, everything in moderation. Im 30 yrs old 68 in 170lbs 6.4% bodyfat, and i eat what i want. When i do go overboard (Sundays all the time) I have the motivation to get out and run 5 miles.0
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I love to eat healthy, don't get me wrong. i enjoy the feeling of being healthy, and more importantly, I am much more confident in the way that I look now. But, I also feel SO ANGRY when I eat everything in plain sight simply because I am letting "loose" one day. My friends/family are SO supportive, but I hate not being able to just go out for dinner with them and have a good time because there is no way that I could fit the food that they eat without eating NOTHING but that the entire day! I guess my point is, I just want to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied.
It just sucks because id love to order pizza, bake cookies and brownies, and slop around the entire day once in a while.
Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.
try intermittent fasting, thats what i do. i eat whatever i want pretty much. ate a whole pizza the other day for dinner and still had cals to spare0 -
From where I'm sitting, having food issues IS normal. This one is on paleo and that one is gluten free and this other one is vegan ... on and on it goes. I know very few people who get hungry and eat what they want without drama.0
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My calories are at the number they are because I don't exercise! I am a student and also have a job so i find it difficult to find time to exercise. I also never exercised while I was losing weight. I just really focused on the numbers. I do understand that exercising will allow me to eat more, but its not something that I have ever really done for a long period of time, and also isnt something that I have time for. I do have access to my school gym for free and I am at school five times a week, but after a LONG day of being at school from 9-6 and working on weekends, I have ZERO motivation/time/energy to go to the gym.
My calories for the day are similar to yours because I'm not interested in doing formal gym style exercise. Instead I got a Fitbit to help me. All the movement you do walking around campus and at your job add up.
A Fitbit or something similar might help you release that you burn more calories in a day than you realise. My Fitbit recorded movement often bumps me up close to 2000 calories.0 -
I love to eat healthy, don't get me wrong. i enjoy the feeling of being healthy, and more importantly, I am much more confident in the way that I look now. But, I also feel SO ANGRY when I eat everything in plain sight simply because I am letting "loose" one day. My friends/family are SO supportive, but I hate not being able to just go out for dinner with them and have a good time because there is no way that I could fit the food that they eat without eating NOTHING but that the entire day! I guess my point is, I just want to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied.
It just sucks because id love to order pizza, bake cookies and brownies, and slop around the entire day once in a while.
Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.
I dont understand…
why can't you go out to dinner with your friends and family? Why can't you eat some pizza, cookies, etc?
This is what happens when you restrict foods and say that is "bad" so i am not going to eat it. Do you really think it is sustainable to say I am never going to go out to dinner with my friends, or to say I am never going to have cookies or pizza, ever again?
Here is a more sensible approach…eat some of the foods that you want about 20% of the time, the other 80% eat healthy and maintain your calorie deficit. On some days you might even eat up to maintenance but that is no big deal either…and on other days - Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthday - you might even have a blow out…the important part is that the majority of the time lets say 85% you maintain your healthy eating habits and stay in a deficit…
The approach that you are following is going to lead to frustration - as you already see - eventual failure/binging, and then remorse...0 -
Normal?? Who's normal?? *hides in corner* that's an insult in my world :bigsmile:
hmmm..
if you're too busy to exercise the traditional way, what about a 10 minute run after dinner? Or do a 20 minute workout video at home? or a 20 minute fast walk? Anything helps and will give you a little wiggle room.
Also.. I firmly believe that not worrying about what you eat once in a while is important for mental health. I also think that the bet way to kick a plateau's butt is by allowing yourself to gain a pound or two.
I get into food/exercise ruts too.. I eat the same thing over and over and over and find not only am I sick of it.. but i'm starting to look at the M&Ms more closely. I have to change it up, try new different recipes to keep myself in it.
Same with exercise.. I do the same things over and over and over and get bored of going. I just signed up for kickboxing, gloves and all.. I can't wait to try it! And i'm playing kickball tomorrow.. just for something different! LOL0 -
Hmmm.
Eat out but just make better choices. You should never be starving on 1700 calories unless you prioritize cal dense food. If you eat a few days to satiety with just lean protein and veggies, you will then know how many calories you have for treats. Like quest bars. Or dessert. I can eat at just about any place and find a chicken and veggie dish that fit into my goals. Then when I want the occasional special Meal, I have whatever I want and enjoy it. But I make sure I go back to making better choices the next meal. And that is still on losing. Maintenance should be the same, but just more flexible and relaxed.
The only time I was hungry was when I wasn't getting enough protein veggies and fiber. I could eat 1000 cal of healthy protein and veggies and have 700 of yummy treats and be full and satisfied. Or I could do 17 100 cal packs and be starving.
But really... I don't want to be "normal" again. That is how I got 100lbs overweight. I'll settle for healthy and fit but food choice aware.
Also, I work full time and go to classes at night. I also commute 3 hours a day and run my kids to activities on weekends. I still manage to exercise 30 minutes 4 or 5 times a week. Between classes I run up and down the stairs in my building. I add in wall pushups while waiting for my professor. I fidget and move my legs chronically. Any chance I have to increase my movement I take so I can have more calories. It took a while, but now it is habit and not a problem. But to get there, I had to realize that not all physical activity has to involve an hour at the gym to be helpful. And I found that moving more helped me focus more in class. Bonus!0 -
Yes im in maintenance and my calories are set to 1740. It's just so hard for me to fit in restaurant food and still feel satisfied at the end of the day so I try not to do it. Is that my problem? I am hungrier at night so I try to save most (1300) of my calories for then BUT I STILL feel hungry while eating things like fruit, dark chocolate, a quest bar, almond milk, etc ALL after dinner
1740 for maintenance seems kind of low to me. I eat 1,700 to lose a pound a week.
I can cut as low as 1800 during a cut and I'm a guy. This is going to depend on a variety of factors.
an aggressive cut for me is about 1700 to 1800 …but my gym performance starts to go down the crapper when I do that...0 -
Yes im in maintenance and my calories are set to 1740. It's just so hard for me to fit in restaurant food and still feel satisfied at the end of the day so I try not to do it. Is that my problem? I am hungrier at night so I try to save most (1300) of my calories for then BUT I STILL feel hungry while eating things like fruit, dark chocolate, a quest bar, almond milk, etc ALL after dinner
1740 for maintenance seems kind of low to me. I eat 1,700 to lose a pound a week.
I can cut as low as 1800 during a cut and I'm a guy. This is going to depend on a variety of factors.
an aggressive cut for me is about 1700 to 1800 …but my gym performance starts to go down the crapper when I do that...
Now, that is absolutely true.0 -
Yes im in maintenance and my calories are set to 1740. It's just so hard for me to fit in restaurant food and still feel satisfied at the end of the day so I try not to do it. Is that my problem? I am hungrier at night so I try to save most (1300) of my calories for then BUT I STILL feel hungry while eating things like fruit, dark chocolate, a quest bar, almond milk, etc ALL after dinner
1740 for maintenance seems kind of low to me. I eat 1,700 to lose a pound a week.
I can cut as low as 1800 during a cut and I'm a guy. This is going to depend on a variety of factors.
an aggressive cut for me is about 1700 to 1800 …but my gym performance starts to go down the crapper when I do that...
Now, that is absolutely true.
I think I questioned it being low because I have a maintain range. I don't see losses at 1950 (which is my MFP maintain) unless I go for several weeks (at least 6 -- being very precise) and then I will see very small ones, .2, .4. Which are EASILY masked by water gain, TOM etc. I don't actually gain until I start going over 2,300. But it can look like gain sooner because water, TOM.
I think I just wanted to make sure OP knew 1740 was her magic number and wasn't blindly relying on MFP. Like, so worried about re-gaining she wasn't toying around with her calories/macros to see what's actually going to be sustrainable for her. It seem reasonable to me that if she usually eats 1,740 but has a sepecial occasion and eats and extra 300-500, it's not really going to cause her to gain unless it's happening a lot. Basically, the rope probably isn't as tight as she thinks.
I just can't imagine not being about to work out having pizza or going out.
That said, I second the Fitbit idea, OP.
ETA: I was also totally assuming OP worked out cause of her user name -- that is another reason I was thinking her maintain should be higher than 1740. I hated worked out too OP, then I started lifting and just walking. Turns out I just hate lots of high intensity cardio.0 -
I totally wish it was just a 300-500 calorie surplus once in a while.. more like 4000 calorie surplus once a month. That cant be good for me..0
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Sometimes I feel this way, too. What helps me feel really good most of the time about eating healthy is my routines. I literally look forward to the foods that I am eating. And that takes my mind off the "other" foods that other people might be ordering. So my daily choices are not only wholesome but really appealing to me. So when I think of restaurant food etc, I don't think it's such a treat because I already eat my treats. I hope that makes sense somewhat.0
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I feel that way sometimes. My roommates can eat all the bad food they want and not do any exercise (maybe a tiny bit of yoga once in a while) and they still don't gain weight. However what I found works for me (before the holiday season punched me) is to have not one, but several cheat days.
I chose 1 day of the week to get a burger or a slice of pizza (I usually don't go and eat a whole pizza though), instead of 1 healthy meal, then one day of the week ( a different day though) to have a good old fashioned, huge breakfast (a waffle or bagle, hash browns, fruit, and sausage or bacon, but do what you like). Then I chose one day of the month to have a dessert day instead of a burger or large breakfast. That seems to keep me on track as far as healthy eating goes.
Another note, don't beat yourself up if you cheat more than once a week, that sounds counter intuitive but it's a better way of dealing with cheating more than you should. When you fall down just brush the dirt off (figuratively) and continue with you good eating habits and exercise, beating yourself up over it is just going to make you more depressed, making it harder to stay motivated.
Note: For the average weekday I allow myself 2,000 calories because i sprint for long periods of time (I can't jog, it's boring), weight lift, I walk up hills all day and stairs, and I do heavy lifting at work. But I usually only get about 1400-1600. I don't know why, it just works out that way.0 -
I totally wish it was just a 300-500 calorie surplus once in a while.. more like 4000 calorie surplus once a month. That cant be good for me..
even if you splurge once a month at 4000 calories thats only a difference of 133 calories a day for a month. (this is assuming that you ate your normal 1740 plus the extra 4000.) That just means that you make the adjustments.
I would also sugest trying to eat more fats or protiens to help with the always hungry feeling.0 -
Life is here to be enjoyed, just because you're being healthy doesn't mean you can't go out and enjoy herself. For me this is a lifestyle change and there us no way I'm not going out for the rest of my life.
My co-workers tell me I'm not normal all the time, my response is always the same. "and I'm ok with that". Because if not being normal has made me lose 22kgs than that's fine with me.
I still go out and enjoy all the food I like. Yesterday I had pizza but only had one slice. Today I went out for lunch and had salt and pepper squid with salad and shared some wedges with my daughter. Tomorrow I'm going out for lunch again, not sure what I'll have yet, but have looked at the menu so I know in advance there will be something that I like.
It's all about moderation. I'd rather eat in moderation and know that in the morning I'm still going to have the energy to wake up and go for a run or go to the gym and feel good about myself, than wake up and feel like crap.
????????0 -
Ah, the incredible joys of adding one or two fasting days a week. I too eat "healthy" the majority of times, but the way I finally learned to let go of all this drama surrounding food, and to feel "normal", was to IF; I've come light years away from my former dysfunctions with dieting and food, but this was the final click for me. With my fasting days I enjoy a nice reprieve from eating that builds in a natural calorie deficit week after week. Allowing me to lose or maintain without counting a single calorie, weighing any food, and having the freedom, in the words of the OP, " to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied."
If you've got the willpower to live a lifestyle like this, I'd give it a whirl. It alleviates a lot of the pressures that come from day to day calorie counting, measuring, and working constantly to calculate what you can "fit" in.0 -
Yes im in maintenance and my calories are set to 1740. It's just so hard for me to fit in restaurant food and still feel satisfied at the end of the day so I try not to do it. Is that my problem? I am hungrier at night so I try to save most (1300) of my calories for then BUT I STILL feel hungry while eating things like fruit, dark chocolate, a quest bar, almond milk, etc ALL after dinner
1740 for maintenance seems kind of low to me. I eat 1,700 to lose a pound a week.
Funny, since the OP's profile is private, I thought the OP must be working out, enjoying foods they want to eat. Since we do not know their intake, workouts, current BW, and other factors it makes it difficult to gauge if their maintenance intake is too high, too low, or just right. Fortunately, they've indicated their content at this level.0 -
I recommend weighing yourself less often, say 1x a week? Choose a day that tends to reflect your average for the week accurately (Thursdays work for me). Your diary and nutrition logs should help you choose which day is good for you.
This way you are tracking your maintenance average, rather than every single day. If you are following your plan most days, and planning for your going out days, you won't see those little blips that cause so much anxiety. If you are up a bit one week, be a bit more careful the next week.
Weight does fluctuate...during the day, during the week, and if you are a woman, with your hormonal cycles. I give myself plus or minus 2 or 3 pounds per weigh-in unless I start trending up or down.0 -
I totally know how you feel...I fight with my urge to over eat and just relax and enjoy my food all the time....I have lost over 60pounds and I still have days where I just eat uncontrollably..sometimes I resent food but I also love it...Glad you posted your comment because it gave me a chance to vent too...0
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I'm exactly in the same boat. I *know* what I should be eating but I just love Pizza, chocolate and all these delicious foods.
I'm trying to do one cheat day per week - and if I have something social I'm trying to use that day as cheat day.0 -
I first called certain days cheat days.. and I found myself over-over eating on those days because I only got them once a week. It's great to have a day where you know you are going to allow yourself to eat pizza, but eating the whole pizza is still not recommended nor is 3 or 4 or more bags of M&Ms along with that ridiculous super yummy, calorie laden breakfast sandwich,.
I don't think we should label our days. It's just our new way of eating and really it's just eating. some days I eat better then others. I just make sure the good days out weight the bad, by a lot. I actually find i have less "cheat" days this way and when I do, i'm normally on a date or wanting to go out for drinks. I found I am much happier because instead of making Saturday the day I can eat whatever I want and me putting everything I really want to eat off until Saturday I was eating double what i would have on Saturday. I was also in less control. As changing my cheat day on a whim happened or borrowing next weeks with the intention of not having on next week (which never happened of course). I also found a higher tendency to graze on my non-cheat days. I don't know why, but I did. I need to have control of my choice everyday. I need to be thinking about what i eat everyday or I end up on a slippery slope and the slope wins.
If having one works for you and you can still control it. That's great. Just another view point here.
(That being said.. I do enjoy myself at family functions, parties and when I'm going out with friends. Just because they order the chocolate molten lava volcano brownie cake, does not mean i have to or that i have to share it with them, I just politely say no thank you and continue on... it's really not that hard.. even if they try to push it on you. You are more important than that dessert and what you think of you is more important then what thye do, keep that in mind too)0 -
It's because in our society we've developed a bad relationship with food. The guilt we feel when we splurge once in a great while can eat right through you ... I know. For the longest time I thought that if I was going to stick with a healthy lifestyle that there was no room for such splurges. If I allowed myself a "cheat meal" I would feel so guilty afterwards that it took all enjoyment away. When I stopped looking at it as "cheating" started to realize that one "treat" meal, or one off day wasn't going to derail me for life. You're over calories for a day? Big deal. Move on. Enjoy every moment at that restaurant with your friends/family. I think we're the only country that has placed such a stigma on food. Not that I can blame us since we see the obesity problems we have here. In Italy they sit down for 3 hour dinners with friends and family, and often at night well past what we would consider a normal dinner time. It's relaxing, destressing and a good part of their lives ... and it doesn't mean they're unhealthy at ALL. I personally feel we should take a lesson from them.
But as for you, try not to stress yourself over one day now and thenn over your calories. It won't undo all the hard work you've put in ... in fact, I feel like from time to time my body thanks me for it. Best of luck in your fight with this demon ... you WILL win! 0 -
I think "normal" judging by most people I know is having no clue at all about what you are actually putting into your body and just randomly eating whatever's at the fast food restaurant, buffet, convenience store, etc. Then feeling less than satisfied at all times and beating yourself up because you ate a bunch of junk. Or feeling entitled to more junky foods just because you "didn't eat that much...just a granola bar, ham & cheese Hot Pocket, and a latte" (to the tune of the entire day's calories).
So I don't want to be normal actually.
I've come to terms with the fact that I will probably never have a "normal" relationship with food. I'll never just eat without thinking and shop based on whatever's on sale or looks tasty. I have managed to get to 300+ lb in the past and that didn't involve any binge eating or crazy "bad" food...just eating what everyone else was having and indulging a couple of times a week in frozen custard, pizza, etc. So I am not gonna be able to just "eat when I'm hungry" and be a normal weight woman. No way.
I now weigh 198 and still losing, and I am eating all of the same food I did before...just empowered by the KNOWLEDGE of what I am eating and how it affects my body. I do make healthier choices, but not all of the time. I don't feel the need to have "cheat days" honestly because I eat little treats all of the time by fitting them into my cals/macros. I regularly eat more and richer, "worse" foods on the weekend when I am getting a LOT more exercise. That is a really easy way to do it, IMHO. I never feel out of control, honestly...and I have been doing this for 10 months.
I honestly never plan to stop logging and being "abnormal" about food - measuring etc - and if I do it would be many many years from now (after years of successful maintenance at my GW).0 -
OP, thanks for starting this topic. I'm loving reading all the answers. Good luck in finding what works for you 0
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Keep the comments coming! They're so helpful! A big thank you to each and every one of you!0
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Keep the comments coming! They're so helpful! A big thank you to each and every one of you!
For fun, I decided to aim for 1,740 calories tomorrow (Monday), and see what that looked liked. I just put my plan together and for 1,748 calories this is what I'm going to eat-
Breakfast-
Chobani - Greek Yogurt-Black Cherry, 6 oz
Lunch (celebrating sister's birthday and she chose the restaurant)
Noodle's & Company - Wisconsin Cheesesteak Sandwhich, 1 sandwich
Noodles & Company - Tomato Basil Bisque - Side, 1 side
Supper-Pork 'fried rice'
Eggs - Large Egg (Whole), 1 egg
Egg - Scrambled Egg White, 2 Egg (33g)
Meijer - Pork Shoulder Blade Country Boneless Ribs, 8 ounces
Aldi Fit & Active - Brown Instant Rice, 1/2 cup dry=about 1 cup cooked
Baby Button Mushrooms - Fresh Raw Mushrooms, 7 oz
Bell Pepper - Green Chopped, 1/4 cup chopped (74.5g)
Meijer - Soy Sauce, 0.75 Tbsp.
Fresh - Onion (White or Yellow) Raw, 0.25 small raw onion
Snack (7pm)
Nabisco - Oreo - Chocolate Sandwich Cookies - Classic, 2 cookies (34 g)
TOTAL: 1,748 calories; 119 protein, 79g fat, 151g carbs
I'm eating out and enjoying my sister's birthday, having a huge supper, eating cookies for a snack, hitting the calorie target, within a few calories, and also doing good with my macros :drinker:
(my actual calories goal is around 2,200 with exercise factored in, so I'll be eating at a deficit of around 452 calories, which I'll roll over to sometime later this week ). 0 -
I agree with the above. with some planning I can go out to eat and still stay under calorie goals. I usually land around 1700-1800 and I eat a lot. I go over when I drink or make bad choices. (like nachos! mmmmmm two billion calories of yumminess that my tummy yells at me for later lol)
But if you just look ahead and make a plan and stick to it..
who cares what the other say. Do what makes you happy!0 -
Hi!
are you trying to maintain your body? If not, then you will definitely gain your weight because eating heavy items will definitely affect your health. doing regular exercise can help you a lot. you can then eat pizza and other food you like most.0 -
I love to eat healthy, don't get me wrong. i enjoy the feeling of being healthy, and more importantly, I am much more confident in the way that I look now. But, I also feel SO ANGRY when I eat everything in plain sight simply because I am letting "loose" one day. My friends/family are SO supportive, but I hate not being able to just go out for dinner with them and have a good time because there is no way that I could fit the food that they eat without eating NOTHING but that the entire day! I guess my point is, I just want to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied.
It just sucks because id love to order pizza, bake cookies and brownies, and slop around the entire day once in a while.
Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.
try intermittent fasting, thats what i do. i eat whatever i want pretty much. ate a whole pizza the other day for dinner and still had cals to spare
Me too - I eat from noon to 10 pm, most of my calories from 6pm onward. And I didn't have time to read every suggestion, but are your protein and fat macros set high enough? And even if you can do some bodyweight stuff at home every couple of days, that will increase your LBM and increase your maintenance cals. Best of luck!.0 -
try pre logging it all to see what itl come to then see how much exercise you need to burn it off over say 3 days ? That way your not guna kill yourself you just need to sweat it out a wee bit more for a couple days ?0
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