Discussing serving sizes with kids???

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My 13 year old daughter is 5'8" and currently weighs 145 pounds. She is slim and athletic. She plays sports and dances. I understand that right now her metabolism is her best friend. Yesterday morning as she was preparing her cereal she had roughly 3 servings in the first bowl. 495 calories for her Cinnamon Toast Crunch. When she came back for more I asked her to grab a banana or some melon instead if she was still hungry but she didn't quite understand why. My explanation yesterday was so you will still have cereal later this week... I understand that she does not need to count her calories. She is still a child and is still growing. I am going back and forth on explaining these things to her. I don't want her to become worried about it. On the other hand, I want her to understand nutrition and making better choices. Any thoughts???
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  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    I understand your worries but she may be like my daughter who eats a lot early in the day and is not such a big eater later on. Kids tend to be good at controlling their calorie intake without having to really think about it and if she is doing sports and dancing she will be burning off a lot too. As long as her weight is ok I wouldn't worry about it.
  • maanders
    maanders Posts: 39 Member
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    I would explain it to her in terms of the health value of the food. Explain that fruit (in your example) is a healthier choice than the cereal. Explain that it's ok to have "some" of the less healthy option but ask her to combine that with a healthy choice.

    I wouldn't go into serving sizes, calories, etc. with a child or teenager, but they do need to be taught that some food choices are better for them than others.

    Just my two sense.
  • RGree14
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    That can be tough. But being 13 years old, your daughter should probably have a good grasp by now on what is and is not healthy eating. Instead of focusing with her on the calories that she is consuming, I would take a look with her at My Plate (myplate.gov), and talk about eating a balanced diet. So, instead of 3 or 4 servings of cereal in the morning, what would a balanced breakfast be? Cereal, sure, because that's grains, but adding fruit like you suggested, and making sure that she is eating from all the food groups throughout the day (and also in the proper quantities- because if one is going to consume all of the fruits/veggies/proteins they need, they'll have to leave room for those instead of filling up on carbs, etc).
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    If it were me, I would approach it as being more about health and play down the calorie consumption. I've got a friend who does this so well with her daughter. She teaches her about healthy carbs, appropriate types of fat and lean proteins and how they make her body work like an amazing machine. Most things, like Cinnamon Toast Crunch have lots of sugar and her daughter looks at things like that and only has small amounts of it because of the sugar, nothing to do with calories.

    Her daughter is now a pre-teenl. Sad when a pre-teen makes better choices than me...I don't plan on ever having kids, but if I do, I definitely will follow in my friends footsteps and talk opening about food and portions, but use her method and not make it about calories, but rather what will make the body work at its best!

    Hope this helps :)
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
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    On one hand she is still growing, and sounds pretty active, so I wouldn't worry about it. On the other hand, It's never a bad Idea to ask your kids to have a piece of fruit or some veggies with a meal. My kids get one or both on every plate. For the most part though, as long as kids are active they can get away with eating whatever they want, it's just a good idea to instill good habits at an early age.

    Rigger
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
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    I agree with the others in that I would have a health conversation, rather than calories. It's important to have a balanced diet, Cinammon Toast Crunch may not fill her up as much as something else, so fruit will help balance that out. Or let her pick from other healthy foods to balance out her lunch. If she's active and growing and maintaining a good weight, I wouldn't worry too much about the amount she's eating. She may be hitting a growth spurt, or may not eat later in the day. If we let them, kids are usually pretty good about self-regulating their appetite.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    Don't worry too much about what teens are eating as long as they are active. Most kids can pound down thousands of calories and as long as they are playing sports and living an active life they won't get fat. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of them when I was a teen. But now, I'm going to be turning 23 soon and can pretty much eat anything as long as I am sticking to my workouts.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    We have a food scale and I require the kids the weigh out whatever they're eating according to the package serving size. It's not because I want them counting calories, I need them to pace themselves because I can only afford to buy so much food and if they eat it all in one sitting we're going to be eating grass from the front yard! The side benefit is they can see what a serving size is.

    When my kids are choosing foods I always encourage them to include carbs, protein and fat so they have a balance. The older ones don't even need to be told anymore but the 9 year old still gets some oversight. We homeschool so I keep it in the perspective of nutritional education. :) My almost 14 year old son is going through one of those bottomless pit stages so I do allow him to take more than the listed amount if he needs it but I also encourage him to eat his serving and then come back for more later if he still needs it. I swear that boy would eat a jar of peanut butter in one sitting if I let him! He's like Kirby at the moment; sucking anything edible in!
  • bohemian124
    bohemian124 Posts: 153 Member
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    You might also want to explore if she'd be willing to add or sub something to her cereal to make it more filling. Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC) has very little protein (1-2 grams/serving maybe). A lot of the more popular cereals have little protein, which is why she is eating so much of it. Maybe introduce adding a teaspoon of chia seeds into her bowl of cereal, or mix CTC with a cereal with more protein, like Kashi Go Lean (the Cinnamon Crumble flavor is great!) or Barbaras Bakery.

    As long as you are having the discussion about balanced nutrition, you might also discuss how it takes about 20 minutes to feel full, so encourage her to eat slowly, really chew and taste her food with each bite.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    13 is definitely old enough to explain health, macro nutrients, serving sizes, etc. Tell her she shouldn't be counting calories but it's important to have a general idea of what you eat, make sure you are eating a good healthy mixture, and not over eating. I've already started to have these kind of conversations with my kids who are younger.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    I would try to address the issue with broader strokes- like try to explain nutritional needs to her overall, rather than saying "you shouldn't have more cereal" or whatever (not that you said that). Give her an overview of how and why you want a balanced diet of different foods, and explain that it's better to choose a fruit instead of more cereal because it's part of meeting all your nutritional needs.

    Use the resources here:
    http://www.nutrition.gov/life-stages/adolescents/tweens-and-teenshttp://www.nutrition.gov/life-stages/adolescents/tweens-and-teens

    or maybe get her a book on teen nutrition so she can read it for herself.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    As others have said there's no need to discuss calories. I'd go at it from a health angle - and probably money too, eating multiple servings of cereal is an expensive habit to have.

    Talk about balanced diets. The importance of nutrients and fibre and help her to see that cereal is great but so is fruit.
  • darlingdumpling
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    I've been dealing with this with my 5 year old stepdaughter. When I met her at 4, she was a little taller than average but she was much bigger than she should be at her age. She is currently a size 12-14 in girls, which is the same size as my 12 year old sister. I realize all kids are different, but she was showing serious signs of a weight problem and having dealt with this myself all my life, I don't want her to eat unconsciously. Her dad was a single dad and not paying attention to her serving sizes- he basically gave her as much as she wanted of everything. Now, She sees that at dinner, dad gets the most, because "he's the biggest, he works on his feet all day and his body needs more energy." Then I have 2nd most and she has 3rd most. She seems to understand that it's about how much energy your body needs. We tell her if she eats too much, her tummy will hurt, which is generally true.

    I don't want her to be counting calories at a young age, but I also don't want her to have to deal with the kinds of crap I did, and she's substantially bigger than I was. She's beautiful no matter what, but it's our job to help them to understand what she is putting in her body. That said, at 13, I think it's perfectly fine to discuss calories, because she is learning what calories are, etc. in health class about now, and she has the ability to understand the "in and out" principle. It's more about the approach. You didn't come at her and say you didn't want her to become overweight, you just said she should make a different choice. That's awesome.
  • sarrah_n
    sarrah_n Posts: 192 Member
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    Try starting out breakfast with a piece of fruit followed up by cereal. Explain that both foods have benefits so you need some of each.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    Just focus on providing nutritional choices. My husband eats at least three servings at a time, but he chooses cereals that are high in fiber and even protein (kashi). Kashi even has a wonderful cinnamon harvest wheat that we don't even buy because either one of us could eat the box in a sitting, and my husband doesn't even have a problem with over eating!

    If you could find a cereal she likes with dried fruit in it (or add dried fruit to something she likes) she would be getting the mixed health benefits with each bowl (no matter how many servings are in the bowl).
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
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    My son and I go through this all the time. I do not make him eat only 1 serving of anything, but he knows what a serving size is. of course I did not do this as a way to make him control his eating, rather as a result of my own poor choices in food being thrown in his face in a very undesirable way. He is so paranoid now that I am not eating enough, that he asks me how much i am eating and checks on me. Talking to him about servings sizes and proper nutrition puts a lot of his worries at ease, so when he see what I am eating he isn't fretting over it being a smaller amount or a bit different then what he is eating.

    There is nothing wrong with have her eat a banana instead of more cereal. Talking about nutrition and proper eating is a good thing for a child that age and insisting she eat healthy is too. My son will eat an entire box of cereal because it tastes good, not because he is actually hungry for it. I insist he eat a bowl of cereal ( probably 3 serving of cereal) along with milk, juice and a piece of fruit for breakfast. If he's still hungry we go hunting for other stuff to eat. Variety is how you stay healthy and happy. I also insist he eat a salad with dinner everyday. We talk about this stuff not so he's neurotic, but so he understand it and know what happened to his mom, so he can avoid it and he can stay healthy.
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
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    This is tipping awfully close to you projecting your own insecurities onto her. she's 5'8" and 145 pounds which is a perfectly healthy range for her to be in. Yes she had three bowls of cereal, but I remember many a day (I'll insert here that in 5th grade I was 5'6", taller than most of my teachers, all classmates, and 103 pounds) where I ate more than one bowl of cereal. As long as she is active she IS healthy. She could have eaten 3 bowls of m & m's. Take a step back, check out your own issues (ie she's eating three bowls of cereal, so she's going to get fat like me) and just let her be. Promote healthy eating, certainly, but dont project your problems onto her at 13, you could end up with a Anorexic 16 year old.
  • JustJennie13
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    Thanks for all the replies :wink: I guess because I mentioned the amount of calories that made it sound calorie based. When I have the discussion with her it will not be about calories but more about nutrients and balance. As far as introducing healthier options... lol my kids are not picky they eat EVERYTHING I bring into the house. They didn't make a peep when their Little Debbie Snacks suddenly stopped reappearing in the pantry. I didn't make that switch until I noticed that they would eat ALL of my healthier snacks before they would eat their junk. So I just replaced their junk with more of my snacks so that maybe I could get some too. :laugh: I pack their lunches and they always get balance for lunch and dinner. Unfortunately, I am the only one that needs to worry about calories in my house. I still buy some of the "junk" because of the amount that they do eat. A large bag of cereal they enjoy lasts longer (usually) and is easier on my pockets... I appreciate all of the insight.
  • gpizzy
    gpizzy Posts: 171
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    I'm 26, and I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I wasn't never largely overweight but certainly carried a few extra pounds. I was also very active and ate whatever I pleased, so while I continued to gain weight luckily it wasn't as much weight as I should have gained because of the activity. I would eat terribly. Usually would have breakfast but not something healthy - see cinnamon toast crunch, toaster strudles, etc. I would eat however much of it that I wanted. I would have maybe a sandwich for lunch, fruit snacks etc, and would come home from school and eat. eat. eat. I would have multiples of anything I could find. I would eat pizza pops, froze pizza, toast with butter, grilled cheese sandwich, cookies, chips any sweets I could find.

    In hindsight, I wish someone told me what eating crap like that can do to your insides. I hope they'd told me how it's much better for you mentally, emotionally and physically to stay active and eat healthily. That it's okay to eat sweets but moderation is important. I wish someone explained why nutrition was important. I wish someone explained why drinking water is so important.

    So, as someone who still vividly remembers being your daughters age I say, educate her. You don't need to tell her about calories, but about nutrition. About the benefits of eating good food. You'll save her from the crash that will happen when she stops being so active.
  • JustJennie13
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    This is tipping awfully close to you projecting your own insecurities onto her. she's 5'8" and 145 pounds which is a perfectly healthy range for her to be in. Yes she had three bowls of cereal, but I remember many a day (I'll insert here that in 5th grade I was 5'6", taller than most of my teachers, all classmates, and 103 pounds) where I ate more than one bowl of cereal. As long as she is active she IS healthy. She could have eaten 3 bowls of m & m's. Take a step back, check out your own issues (ie she's eating three bowls of cereal, so she's going to get fat like me) and just let her be. Promote healthy eating, certainly, but dont project your problems onto her at 13, you could end up with a Anorexic 16 year old.

    How you got that I have issues from wondering about teaching my child about nutrition is honestly beyond me. I am pretty sure I mentioned in the post above that she is healthy and active. What I did not mention is anything about me. I am not insecure. Actually I am quite happy about my life, my nutrition and my fitness. Please don't read into something that isn't really there.