Hit a brick wall today :(

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Replies

  • sam_m187
    sam_m187 Posts: 27 Member
    Thanks :D
  • Please let me point out that my daughter has a very healthy relationship with food and I never show her my worries or anxieties. Its not like I ma not eating or constantly reading labels in front of her that doesn't happen. II love cooking and my daughter often helps out, it's only lately that I have been dieting and so when my daughter and partner have mash potatoes with butter I just have extra veggies. I do understand what people are saying but I would never allow my daughters to restrict their food intake and I obviously know that I need to stop this obsessing which at the minute is only in my head.

    presumably then you dont eat with your children? you cant only eat 1000 calories and not have anyone notice if you eat 3 meals together!

    have you thought about talking to a doctor, getting some help with the disordered thoughts?

    I do eat with my children well my 3 year old my other duaght is 6 months. I eat breakfast and Dinner with her, she eats lunch at pre-school and also has a snack when she gets in. I eat cereal or porridge with her in the morning then tea in the afternoon like I said I just put more veggies on my plate whilst dieting she has not noticed this small thing nor has she started eating less. Thank you for suggesting to see a doctor but I really don't think this is necessary I am just starting out on my weight loss journey and know that I will find the right way soon enough I just want to find a good balance. It is more about me finding out what works for me and what doesn't. I just need to keep on track but in a more healthy way x
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Please let me point out that my daughter has a very healthy relationship with food and I never show her my worries or anxieties. Its not like I ma not eating or constantly reading labels in front of her that doesn't happen. II love cooking and my daughter often helps out, it's only lately that I have been dieting and so when my daughter and partner have mash potatoes with butter I just have extra veggies. I do understand what people are saying but I would never allow my daughters to restrict their food intake and I obviously know that I need to stop this obsessing which at the minute is only in my head.

    presumably then you dont eat with your children? you cant only eat 1000 calories and not have anyone notice if you eat 3 meals together!

    have you thought about talking to a doctor, getting some help with the disordered thoughts?

    I do eat with my children well my 3 year old my other duaght is 6 months. I eat breakfast and Dinner with her, she eats lunch at pre-school and also has a snack when she gets in. I eat cereal or porridge with her in the morning then tea in the afternoon like I said I just put more veggies on my plate whilst dieting she has not noticed this small thing nor has she started eating less. Thank you for suggesting to see a doctor but I really don't think this is necessary I am just starting out on my weight loss journey and know that I will find the right way soon enough I just want to find a good balance. It is more about me finding out what works for me and what doesn't. I just need to keep on track but in a more healthy way x

    Keep working at it. You seem to know what to do but need work on the emotional side of things. Just focus on letting yourself enjoy in moderation as you can.
  • Yes,I did ,what you could do to stop your craving is have a fruit or get out for a walk ,dont just throw the whole 3 weeks of great job you have done,just think of good feeling you are having eating healthy and working out.Remind yourself why you have started this journey?Why is it important to you?I have failed as well but what i have done this time is wrote the letter to myself why i wanted to change the way of living.And every time I crave for something or I'm feeling down I open the letter and read it,the letter tells me clearly if i do fail I have betrayed myself and i have failed in what i have promised to myself.You look good in this picture and I'm sure with what are you doing now you will soon look astonishing,keep doing the great work :wink:

    Lovely reply thank you, I need to point out that I am feeling healthier now than I ever have because I am eating so much fruit and veg and working out, I will up my calories by adding more fruit, veg and things that are good for my body. I think I am at a point where if I go to the junk food I may not be strong enough to know when to stop lol! Love the idea of a letter, I wouldn't like to think of it as betraying oneself maybe just a blip in the road but we all have different ways and methods of motivating ourselves. The point is I am overweight and I know for my family's sake and my own I need to become healthier. x
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    [/quote]

    presumably then you dont eat with your children? you cant only eat 1000 calories and not have anyone notice if you eat 3 meals
    [/quote]

    This is a bit silly. With the right foods, you can have quite a full plate for 300-400 calories.

    Edit: oops, I did the quote wrong.

  • presumably then you dont eat with your children? you cant only eat 1000 calories and not have anyone notice if you eat 3 meals
    [/quote]

    This is a bit silly. With the right foods, you can have quite a full plate for 300-400 calories.

    Edit: oops, I did the quote wrong.
    [/quote]

    Thank you :) x
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Please let me point out that my daughter has a very healthy relationship with food and I never show her my worries or anxieties. Its not like I ma not eating or constantly reading labels in front of her that doesn't happen. II love cooking and my daughter often helps out, it's only lately that I have been dieting and so when my daughter and partner have mash potatoes with butter I just have extra veggies. I do understand what people are saying but I would never allow my daughters to restrict their food intake and I obviously know that I need to stop this obsessing which at the minute is only in my head.

    presumably then you dont eat with your children? you cant only eat 1000 calories and not have anyone notice if you eat 3 meals together!

    have you thought about talking to a doctor, getting some help with the disordered thoughts?

    I do eat with my children well my 3 year old my other duaght is 6 months. I eat breakfast and Dinner with her, she eats lunch at pre-school and also has a snack when she gets in. I eat cereal or porridge with her in the morning then tea in the afternoon like I said I just put more veggies on my plate whilst dieting she has not noticed this small thing nor has she started eating less. Thank you for suggesting to see a doctor but I really don't think this is necessary I am just starting out on my weight loss journey and know that I will find the right way soon enough I just want to find a good balance. It is more about me finding out what works for me and what doesn't. I just need to keep on track but in a more healthy way x

    But what if you stop "dieting"? How nice would it be to just eat...in moderation.

    I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I think it's awesome that you recognize the issue and want to be healthy for your girls. The problem I have with your comments about dieting though are that "diets" are not sustainable. Let's say you eat 1,000 calories and you lose all the weight. What are you going to do when you hit maintenance? Are you going to eat 1,000 calories a day for the rest of your life? If you aren't, then why not just start eating a balanced diet at a reasonable deficit now...it will help you later on down the road.
  • Please let me point out that my daughter has a very healthy relationship with food and I never show her my worries or anxieties. Its not like I ma not eating or constantly reading labels in front of her that doesn't happen. II love cooking and my daughter often helps out, it's only lately that I have been dieting and so when my daughter and partner have mash potatoes with butter I just have extra veggies. I do understand what people are saying but I would never allow my daughters to restrict their food intake and I obviously know that I need to stop this obsessing which at the minute is only in my head.

    presumably then you dont eat with your children? you cant only eat 1000 calories and not have anyone notice if you eat 3 meals together!

    have you thought about talking to a doctor, getting some help with the disordered thoughts?

    I do eat with my children well my 3 year old my other duaght is 6 months. I eat breakfast and Dinner with her, she eats lunch at pre-school and also has a snack when she gets in. I eat cereal or porridge with her in the morning then tea in the afternoon like I said I just put more veggies on my plate whilst dieting she has not noticed this small thing nor has she started eating less. Thank you for suggesting to see a doctor but I really don't think this is necessary I am just starting out on my weight loss journey and know that I will find the right way soon enough I just want to find a good balance. It is more about me finding out what works for me and what doesn't. I just need to keep on track but in a more healthy way x

    But what if you stop "dieting"? How nice would it be to just eat...in moderation.

    I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I think it's awesome that you recognize the issue and want to be healthy for your girls. The problem I have with your comments about dieting though are that "diets" are not sustainable. Let's say you eat 1,000 calories and you lose all the weight. What are you going to do when you hit maintenance? Are you going to eat 1,000 calories a day for the rest of your life? If you aren't, then why not just start eating a balanced diet at a reasonable deficit now...it will help you later on down the road.

    No I know your not trying to give me a hard time and I really appreciate the replies, I agree if I start to look at things like just eating healthier and stop labeling it with 'diet' I know I will get my head around it much easier. I was only planning on the low cal for a month and then gradually start bringing in more foods like potatoes, noodles and rice. I do want this to be a change for life and not just for the short term. I still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to food but fingers crossed I will get there x x
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    What exactly is the difference between "dieting" and "eating at a deficit"?

    One is the word we were all brought up with, then were told "diets don't work" because we did restrictive fad diets, so the word became bad, and now we've got a new way to say it. Semantics.

    Let's not over-nitpick.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    What exactly is the difference between "dieting" and "eating at a deficit"?

    One is the word we were all brought up with, then were told "diets don't work" because we did restrictive fad diets, so the word became bad, and now we've got a new way to say it. Semantics.

    Let's not over-nitpick.

    Right. I said a reasonable deficit. The word "diet" does have negative connotations. That's just the world we live in. When I hear people say "while I'm dieting" and then "I only eat 1,000 calories", I'm inclined to use different terminology. I'm sorry you have a problem with this but I'm not the one nit-picking here...

    But, that's irrelevant. She's not eating at reasonable anything...it's a crash diet.
  • Hello,

    I am in need of some encouragement and support. I have been doing really well on a low calorie diet and exercise regime for the past 3 weeks or so. I have been SO determined and focused but today I am actually having such strong cravings for some 'junky' food! I just want some grease like chips or a burger! I haven't had any but I can't stop thinking about it. Sorry for TMI but I think it may be because I am due on my period soon?? Do any other ladies feel this way at that time of the month. It's driving me mad I refuse to give in but it is all that is on my mind!

    Help! How can I get focused again? x x x


    hey -

    we've been doing the same thing for about the same amount of time. yes, my weight loss stalls around "that time" & i don't know if its because i'm eating a bit more or the bloating n all that other fun stuff that accompanies our monthly fiend.

    i have noticed that i don't need the ENTIRE burger. may be plan a healthy meal with half the burger. then you still get to satisfy your craving without over eating. i do note that sometimes even just a bite or three helps to tame the cravings beast.

    i hope this helps,
    wendy
  • I agree that the word diet has negative connotations, well it does for me the word diet makes me think straight away of 'restrictions' I guess people view and read things differently but I think fad diets and such like are the reason for it. I don't want to lose weight for a couple months then pile it all back on so I guess it's true you can't diet for life it has to be a lifestyle change. I really am opening my eyes up to things and do not want to obsess over food forever. x
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I agree that the word diet has negative connotations, well it does for me the word diet makes me think straight away of 'restrictions' I guess people view and read things differently but I think fad diets and such like are the reason for it. I don't want to lose weight for a couple months then pile it all back on so I guess it's true you can't diet for life it has to be a lifestyle change. I really am opening my eyes up to things and do not want to obsess over food forever. x

    :flowerforyou: You'll get there. Healthy mind, healthy body... then the skinny jeans. It will all come in time with patience.
  • CaitlinW19
    CaitlinW19 Posts: 431 Member
    I can relate (I'm sure we all can) but I tell you what, when I get those cravings and give in to them, the burger or what have you is never actually very good...It always ends up disapointing me and then I feel like I gave in for nothing. Rather than feeling satisfied, I end up feeling guiltly and unhappy. That kind of food just doesn't hit the spot like I think it will when I've been used to healthy stuff and it feels like empty calories, so I always still feel hungry! I don't know if this will help you stay away from the burger at all. This is just my experience and knowing this tends to help me ride out the craving. Maybe try to compromise and have a grilled chicken sandwhich or something from a fast food place...it will still seem like a splurge but not as big of one and I bet it will go way further to actually satisfy.
  • rockkicker
    rockkicker Posts: 3 Member
    i get through it by thinking of the end game, and what it took to get where i am at this point. the craving is temporary but the results of beating it are so much more!
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    Here's my suggestion. Figure out your TDEE (http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/) with your daily exercise. Subtract 20% or even 25% to be very, very aggressive. Eat that amount with your macros set at 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat. Start weight training, it will help you lose inches fast. Trust me on that. In addition do cardio as well. But honestly account for your exercise and eat the right amount of food.

    You may not see the number on the scale you want by the time your wedding rolls around but you may be very pleasantly surprised by how your body looks and feels.

    There is no need to deprive yourself of specific foods to lose weight and there is no good or bad food. I am losing consistently on 2000 calories a day but that is based on my activity. What I am most surprised about is that I've lost over 50 inches. And the bulk of that happened last summer when I was running and working with a personal trainer. Right now I'm waiting for the weather to break and getting ready to start a new lifting program now that I have the confidence to lift on my own and have healed from an injury.

    Good luck and you can do this.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    make decisions based on what you can maintain for the next 5 to 10 years - not 2 weeks.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Hello,

    I am in need of some encouragement and support. I have been doing really well on a low calorie diet and exercise regime for the past 3 weeks or so. I have been SO determined and focused but today I am actually having such strong cravings for some 'junky' food! I just want some grease like chips or a burger! I haven't had any but I can't stop thinking about it. Sorry for TMI but I think it may be because I am due on my period soon?? Do any other ladies feel this way at that time of the month. It's driving me mad I refuse to give in but it is all that is on my mind!

    Help! How can I get focused again? x x x
    This is why low calorie diets suck. Get focused by doing something sustainable.
  • Seabully
    Seabully Posts: 22 Member
    I definitely have those cravings. The only way I stay sane is to allow myself a cheat day, or a cheat meal. My body and my mind thank me, and I go back to normal either later that day, or the very next day. I definitely pay for it the next day, but it's worth it to keep grounded.

    **Edit**
    Please reconsider "low calorie," as well. Calorie restriction really isn't the best in the long run for maintaining your weight. You can lose weight and still eat like a champ. Burgers, chips (in moderation), and "normal" foods. I don't really fill in my exercise or food charts here, but I keep a journal. I don't like obsessing over calories, but I keep track. It makes me feel better to have a "ballpark" rather than a schedule or set amount.
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
    Please let me point out that my daughter has a very healthy relationship with food and I never show her my worries or anxieties. Its not like I ma not eating or constantly reading labels in front of her that doesn't happen. II love cooking and my daughter often helps out, it's only lately that I have been dieting and so when my daughter and partner have mash potatoes with butter I just have extra veggies. I do understand what people are saying but I would never allow my daughters to restrict their food intake and I obviously know that I need to stop this obsessing which at the minute is only in my head.

    I feel better for writing it on here. FirstSip: Thank you so much for your understanding, I do get that I am being totally irrational, I have had issues in the past with ED and I think that because this is the first time I have tried to lose weight since gaining a lot the old habits have suddenly come back. The difference is this time I do have my little family around me and so know I would never get into a situation like that again. Yes I do think that stress is just contributing to this behavior, we are getting married and selling the house along with a few other things. I have been exercising every day and this really does help. I am going to start eating carbs again with my meals, Like somebody else has said its not about 'good' and 'bad' foods and I think I need to keep thinking that! Thanks for everybody who has replied I love this site :) x x

    I have three kids and they are incredibly good at picking up things, even if it's never vocalized. Everything we're doing, the good and the bad, they're watching. You figuring out how to have a healthy relationship with food now, is going to have a big impact on your kids, just by your actions :)
  • NoLimitFemme
    NoLimitFemme Posts: 118 Member
    Back on topic at the OP ... there's so many way you can do this at home for a healthier alternative.

    Homemade burgers are one for sure on a whole wheat bun ... be it either turkey burgers or even half ground turkey/half lean ground beef if you can't live without the beef. For the chips, maybe a baked version of a chip or bake you're own at home. There's the cravings, but there's always a healthier alternative to it.

    Good luck fighting those evil period cravings I fear we all have to battle.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Are you trying to stick to too large of a deficit? That's the #1 reason for "hitting a wall" when trying to lose weight.* Your diary is closed, so no clues there either. Also, three weeks is about how long it seems most people can rely on "willpower" before their body's natural survival responses kick in fully and things get real.

    Assuming this is your case, my advice is to reevaluate the reasonableness of your deficit. Find the *most* amount of food you can eat while still making satisfactory progress towards your goals...not the *least*. To do this, you'll need to consistently and accurately measure your food (which means using a scale).






    * I don't actually know that this is true, but it seems reasonable.


    ETA (as I catch up on this thread):
    I know people will say I am doing it wrong but at the minute I am trying not to go over 1000 calories a day.

    Aha! I figured out the problem. You're doing it wrong. The solution to this is to stop doing it wrong and start doing it right.
  • Seabully
    Seabully Posts: 22 Member
    Also, I have one more thing to add:
    I suffered with an ED for many years, and it wasn't until I sought out help for the emotional part of it, that I really began to love myself and love my relationship with food. Everyone has their bumps in the road, but what you do with your emotional state is your own business. Just my own suggestion on a more personal level. Living on 1000 calories isn't reasonable. I eat about 2200 a day. I'm active and I'm always doing something, but I still indulge in my burgers and fries. I make them at home, so I know what goes into them, but every now and then, I WILL get my junky food fix, and I may bloat 5-6 pounds for a few days, msg, and all the crappy stuff, but it's worth not obsessing over.
    I have a daughter as well, and they pick up on everything. They really do. She's two, and I made sure that long before I had her, I would be able to show her that food is amazing, and she should love herself enough to indulge AND be healthy. If you want to talk, for any purposes... ED related or not, let me know. I, too, am getting married in April 2014 (WOOHOO FOR US!), so there's grounds for us to talk already ;-)
    I really wish you the best in your weight loss goals, but please take our suggestions even a little bit :-)
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Are you trying to stick to too large of a deficit? That's the #1 reason for "hitting a wall" when trying to lose weight.* Your diary is closed, so no clues there either. Also, three weeks is about how long it seems most people can rely on "willpower" before their body's natural survival responses kick in fully and things get real.

    Assuming this is your case, my advice is to reevaluate the reasonableness of your deficit. Find the *most* amount of food you can eat while still making satisfactory progress towards your goals...not the *least*. To do this, you'll need to consistently and accurately measure your food (which means using a scale).






    * I don't actually know that this is true, but it seems reasonable.

    I know people will say I am doing it wrong but at the minute I am trying not to go over 1000 calories a day.

    Aha! I figured out the problem. You're doing it wrong. The solution to this is to stop doing it wrong and start doing it right.

    This^^^

    Your ticker shows that you want to lose around 60 pounds. That will take a while - can you stick to the plan you're doing now for a year? 2 years? The rest of your life? If the answer is "no" - then, yes. You are doing it wrong.
  • KimiSteinbach
    KimiSteinbach Posts: 224 Member
    Hello,

    I am in need of some encouragement and support. I have been doing really well on a low calorie diet and exercise regime for the past 3 weeks or so. I have been SO determined and focused but today I am actually having such strong cravings for some 'junky' food! I just want some grease like chips or a burger! I haven't had any but I can't stop thinking about it. Sorry for TMI but I think it may be because I am due on my period soon?? Do any other ladies feel this way at that time of the month. It's driving me mad I refuse to give in but it is all that is on my mind!

    Help! How can I get focused again? x x x

    Eat the burger and get it over with. Burgers aren't evil. 12 of them are though.