MUST eat cookies at work.

2

Replies

  • ♥Amy♥
    ♥Amy♥ Posts: 714 Member
    Before becoming a SAHM to my 2 boys, I worked for Family Services and home visits were a huge part of what I did. At the time I wasn't watching what I ate (since I ate pure crap all.the.time), but I always politely declined any food and/or drink offered to me. I would start off with a "No thank you." If that didn't work, then I'd say something along the lines of not being allowed to. So you could always say something like that (a new rule that was implemented). I didn't want anything because 1) they hated me for taking their kids, so who knows if they were trying to kill me and 2) some of the houses I couldn't even walk or sit down in, there was no way I'd be eating or drinking there.
  • I like 2 of the ideas. The have a taste (so eat half or even less than half) and the "to-go" idea. Both of those, you can act like you've already eaten so much today that you really can't eat much more than a bite or two and it's so good, or the it looks so good but I'm so full can I take it home with me. That way "no hard feelings", not saying no but much more control over eating it right then and there.

    The diabetic and having to monitor everything works well too. You can again say that "you have to pre-plan your meals and snacks for the day and didn't plan on that delicious looking cookie, cake, bread, homemade goodie." If you're going to go that route, you need to also say that you're allergic to an ingredient in the sugar substitutes out there, so that next time you show up, they haven't gotten things that are diabetic friendly.

    The other thing is to compliment how good it looks, and then add something about preferring fresh fruit as your sweet thing instead of baked goods (so a setup for your next visit). Example: "That cookie looks really delicious but do you have an apple or other fruit? I really like fruit more than cookies." It doesn't say you're allergic (so no chance of finding a way around that), no mention of a diet and plants the idea for fruit in their heads.

    You can work around it, you just need to be a little creative.
  • The_Raspberry
    The_Raspberry Posts: 91 Member
    Would it be disrespectful to ask for it to be wrapped up for you to eat later? Then you could fit it in when it suits you? But I suppose the families probably want to get the satisfaction of seeing you enjoy their food...Worth a try, I guess?

    I've always admired social workers. Thanks for keeping the kids first :)

    Yeah, it's about eating it together!

    And thank you, very appreciated. It's a rewarding job in many ways, but you don't get a lot of compliments on a daily basis. :)
  • The_Raspberry
    The_Raspberry Posts: 91 Member
    You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.


    Rigger, this woman said she works with a lot of families from different countries. There is a cultural norm in many countries to offer guests (especially guests of a higher station in life, such as those with a government job) food as a sign of hospitality. Many cultures even encourage people to put out their best foods to guests, foods they don't normally feed their own families. In many of these cultures, refusing the food is a sign of disrespect and may be considered insulting. Instead of insulting the people she is working with, why not try to read her dilemma more fully so you can appreciate her situation?

    This is exatly right. In some families it is disrespectful and insulting to say now. Thanks for explaining :)
  • Ferrous_Female_Dog
    Ferrous_Female_Dog Posts: 221 Member
    Say you're gluten free, diabetic, and just had lunch.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    Stop making excuses tell them your a Diabetic.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    I do some home visits for my job and I'm scared to eat anything that comes out of those houses. Bleck.

    I certainly hope you're very mindful of your interaction with the people in those houses. It's not hard for someone to pick up on the fact you don't respect them even if they are poor, uneducated, or perhaps suffering from mental illness or trauma.
  • Greytfish
    Greytfish Posts: 810
    Say you're allergic. Works for me every time.

    Or tell them you can have the beverage, but your work rules don't permit you to accept gifts, including food.

    Honestly, I understand the cultural sensitivities, so maybe tell them you can only accept it if you bring it to the office for everyone.

    Not sure what sort of SW you are, but if you're taking gifts or accepting things beyond beverages, it can certainly be used against you or your families to question your professional boundaries and judgment in a situation.
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
    Tell me more about these deep fried cookies.


    Speak slowly.
  • The_Raspberry
    The_Raspberry Posts: 91 Member
    Say you're allergic. Works for me every time.

    Or tell them you can have the beverage, but your work rules don't permit you to accept gifts, including food.

    Honestly, I understand the cultural sensitivities, so maybe tell them you can only accept it if you bring it to the office for everyone.

    Not sure what sort of SW you are, but if you're taking gifts or accepting things beyond beverages, it can certainly be used against you or your families to question your professional boundaries and judgment in a situation.

    I could try this, but could be weird if they are then referred on to another social worker.

    We actually had this discussion at work very recently, and we are not allowed to accept any gifts at all. But we came to the conclusions that if they offered us something to eat during a home visits it was ok, for the above mentioned reasons. But obviously it's something I could try to use... Maybe I'll try to have this conversation with some colleagues to see what they think. None of them are trying to lose weight at the moment tho...
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    Say you're allergic. Works for me every time.

    Or tell them you can have the beverage, but your work rules don't permit you to accept gifts, including food.

    Honestly, I understand the cultural sensitivities, so maybe tell them you can only accept it if you bring it to the office for everyone.

    Not sure what sort of SW you are, but if you're taking gifts or accepting things beyond beverages, it can certainly be used against you or your families to question your professional boundaries and judgment in a situation.

    I would be afraid that the next time the family would make a big batch, when maybe they can't really afford to.

    While I like the look at a weekly number of calories, it still could be hard. If you visit 6 houses a day and each offers cookies, say 3 of them insist, and each cookie is 150 calories, that's 450 calories or for me "a large meal".

    I think your best option is to maybe accept one, and say "I would really love a hot drink," drink it black, and have one bite of the cookie. At the end, ask for a napkin so you can eat the rest later with lunch (and then don't eat it.)
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
    Tell them you don't eat sweets but one of your co-workers does and ask if you could take one for them.

    Tell them you are doing a prayer fast over (friend/child/family member) with your (coworkers/bible study group/church) and would like to remain faithful to it.

    Look up cultural favorites and see if there is anything that would be fun to try and don't specifically ASK for that, but ask if they ever make it. (unless it's like tripe or tongue or any other thing you know you would never ever eat).
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.


    Rigger, this woman said she works with a lot of families from different countries. There is a cultural norm in many countries to offer guests (especially guests of a higher station in life, such as those with a government job) food as a sign of hospitality. Many cultures even encourage people to put out their best foods to guests, foods they don't normally feed their own families. In many of these cultures, refusing the food is a sign of disrespect and may be considered insulting. Instead of insulting the people she is working with, why not try to read her dilemma more fully so you can appreciate her situation?

    This is exatly right. In some families it is disrespectful and insulting to say now. Thanks for explaining :)

    Well, if that's really the case, why is it even a question? You're so concerned about offending these people by not accepting cookies, but you're willing to lie to them about why you can't? How is that any more respectful?

    Rigger
  • mdiaz0188
    mdiaz0188 Posts: 20 Member
    Tell them you just ate lunch, or breakfast, so you are full, but would it be okay if you could take one togo to enjoy later. That way you don't ever actually have to eat it, but it avoids all the negatives that you mentioned.

    Agreed. I would tell them basically the same...." just had lunch/breakfast/dinner, but I'll def take some to go!..." This way, you take the offering (thus, not offending anyone) and you don't have to eat it in the end.... :)
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    I think it is really perceptive and awesome the way you view your interactions with the families you work with, FYI. You sound like a great social worker!

    I've lived in parts of the world where turning down food is super not OK, so I get you. :)

    Can you just try to build some flexibility into your day? Make sure you eat high protein/vegetable breakfasts and dinners, and leave some wiggle room for treats during the day? If you don't end up eating much on your visits, then have some extra snacks or bigger lunch ready to go. That would be my suggestion.
  • mathjulz
    mathjulz Posts: 5,526 Member
    What if you graciously accepted a serving of cookies or cake, then only drank the tea or coffee? Or, maybe just nibbled on it? That's still half a serving versus an entire slice or whatever.

    This is what I was thinking. You're going to be talking and all your work stuff, so you won't have a lot of time to be eating much anyway. You could get through the entire day with only 1 cookie total if you're careful.
  • hortensehildegarde
    hortensehildegarde Posts: 592 Member
    no idea is this is an option or not, but could you possible pack in your own snacks? So they offer you a cookie and you say "oh that looks delicious, but I am under medical supervision for a health condition so I can't eat that right now, but I can share this celery with you instead"

    LOL so maybe that is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. If you brought your own snack you can still eat with them, and you have better logging cause you know what it is.

    (danggit now I really want some celery... I know better than to read/post in food related threads!!!!)
  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,080 Member
    I don't think you're whole weight loss journey will be at jeopardy over eating a cookie (or even 2) here and there.

    It will if she vists 10 houses day.

    True, but she said it is only once or twice a week.
  • The_Raspberry
    The_Raspberry Posts: 91 Member
    You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.


    Rigger, this woman said she works with a lot of families from different countries. There is a cultural norm in many countries to offer guests (especially guests of a higher station in life, such as those with a government job) food as a sign of hospitality. Many cultures even encourage people to put out their best foods to guests, foods they don't normally feed their own families. In many of these cultures, refusing the food is a sign of disrespect and may be considered insulting. Instead of insulting the people she is working with, why not try to read her dilemma more fully so you can appreciate her situation?

    This is exatly right. In some families it is disrespectful and insulting to say now. Thanks for explaining :)

    Well, if that's really the case, why is it even a question? You're so concerned about offending these people by not accepting cookies, but you're willing to lie to them about why you can't? How is that any more respectful?

    Rigger

    Well... It's not more respectful. But there is a bigger chance that they won't know that. My goal is not to be disrespectful, because in truth I do respect these people, who a lot of the time show exceptional strength during hard times.

    I think my best bet is to try and find reasons close to the truth, like us not being able to accept gifts and see how that goes. Or to eat as little as possible and just working it into my days.
  • Dnarules
    Dnarules Posts: 2,080 Member
    I can't tell from your post how often this happens. Is it every day. Several times a day?