MUST eat cookies at work.
Replies
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Say you're allergic. Works for me every time.
Or tell them you can have the beverage, but your work rules don't permit you to accept gifts, including food.
Honestly, I understand the cultural sensitivities, so maybe tell them you can only accept it if you bring it to the office for everyone.
Not sure what sort of SW you are, but if you're taking gifts or accepting things beyond beverages, it can certainly be used against you or your families to question your professional boundaries and judgment in a situation.
I would be afraid that the next time the family would make a big batch, when maybe they can't really afford to.
While I like the look at a weekly number of calories, it still could be hard. If you visit 6 houses a day and each offers cookies, say 3 of them insist, and each cookie is 150 calories, that's 450 calories or for me "a large meal".
I think your best option is to maybe accept one, and say "I would really love a hot drink," drink it black, and have one bite of the cookie. At the end, ask for a napkin so you can eat the rest later with lunch (and then don't eat it.)0 -
Tell them you don't eat sweets but one of your co-workers does and ask if you could take one for them.
Tell them you are doing a prayer fast over (friend/child/family member) with your (coworkers/bible study group/church) and would like to remain faithful to it.
Look up cultural favorites and see if there is anything that would be fun to try and don't specifically ASK for that, but ask if they ever make it. (unless it's like tripe or tongue or any other thing you know you would never ever eat).0 -
You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.
Rigger, this woman said she works with a lot of families from different countries. There is a cultural norm in many countries to offer guests (especially guests of a higher station in life, such as those with a government job) food as a sign of hospitality. Many cultures even encourage people to put out their best foods to guests, foods they don't normally feed their own families. In many of these cultures, refusing the food is a sign of disrespect and may be considered insulting. Instead of insulting the people she is working with, why not try to read her dilemma more fully so you can appreciate her situation?
This is exatly right. In some families it is disrespectful and insulting to say now. Thanks for explaining
Well, if that's really the case, why is it even a question? You're so concerned about offending these people by not accepting cookies, but you're willing to lie to them about why you can't? How is that any more respectful?
Rigger0 -
Tell them you just ate lunch, or breakfast, so you are full, but would it be okay if you could take one togo to enjoy later. That way you don't ever actually have to eat it, but it avoids all the negatives that you mentioned.
Agreed. I would tell them basically the same...." just had lunch/breakfast/dinner, but I'll def take some to go!..." This way, you take the offering (thus, not offending anyone) and you don't have to eat it in the end.... 0 -
I think it is really perceptive and awesome the way you view your interactions with the families you work with, FYI. You sound like a great social worker!
I've lived in parts of the world where turning down food is super not OK, so I get you.
Can you just try to build some flexibility into your day? Make sure you eat high protein/vegetable breakfasts and dinners, and leave some wiggle room for treats during the day? If you don't end up eating much on your visits, then have some extra snacks or bigger lunch ready to go. That would be my suggestion.0 -
What if you graciously accepted a serving of cookies or cake, then only drank the tea or coffee? Or, maybe just nibbled on it? That's still half a serving versus an entire slice or whatever.
This is what I was thinking. You're going to be talking and all your work stuff, so you won't have a lot of time to be eating much anyway. You could get through the entire day with only 1 cookie total if you're careful.0 -
no idea is this is an option or not, but could you possible pack in your own snacks? So they offer you a cookie and you say "oh that looks delicious, but I am under medical supervision for a health condition so I can't eat that right now, but I can share this celery with you instead"
LOL so maybe that is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. If you brought your own snack you can still eat with them, and you have better logging cause you know what it is.
(danggit now I really want some celery... I know better than to read/post in food related threads!!!!)0 -
I don't think you're whole weight loss journey will be at jeopardy over eating a cookie (or even 2) here and there.
It will if she vists 10 houses day.
True, but she said it is only once or twice a week.0 -
You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.
Rigger, this woman said she works with a lot of families from different countries. There is a cultural norm in many countries to offer guests (especially guests of a higher station in life, such as those with a government job) food as a sign of hospitality. Many cultures even encourage people to put out their best foods to guests, foods they don't normally feed their own families. In many of these cultures, refusing the food is a sign of disrespect and may be considered insulting. Instead of insulting the people she is working with, why not try to read her dilemma more fully so you can appreciate her situation?
This is exatly right. In some families it is disrespectful and insulting to say now. Thanks for explaining
Well, if that's really the case, why is it even a question? You're so concerned about offending these people by not accepting cookies, but you're willing to lie to them about why you can't? How is that any more respectful?
Rigger
Well... It's not more respectful. But there is a bigger chance that they won't know that. My goal is not to be disrespectful, because in truth I do respect these people, who a lot of the time show exceptional strength during hard times.
I think my best bet is to try and find reasons close to the truth, like us not being able to accept gifts and see how that goes. Or to eat as little as possible and just working it into my days.0 -
I can't tell from your post how often this happens. Is it every day. Several times a day?0
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ok, so no one has thought of the TRUTH as an option?
"I really don't mean to offend you, but I am counting every calorie I put in my body in an effort to lose weight and be as healthy as possible. So THANK YOU for the very DELICIOUS LOOKING offer, but I'll have to pass."
Why lie about it? Not eating sweets is usually VERY HELPFUL when trying to lose weight. Most people, regardless of culture, can grasp this concept....0 -
Be an adult, stop making so many excuses. Someone can be as offended as they want, what are they gonna do? Jam the cookie down your throat?
Have more self respect and be more authoratative, if I say no thank you then that is what I mean. You could be allergic, you could be full, you might just not feel like eating a cookie - regardless it isn't an argument. Stop caring what other people think so much.0 -
I think it is really perceptive and awesome the way you view your interactions with the families you work with, FYI. You sound like a great social worker!
I've lived in parts of the world where turning down food is super not OK, so I get you.
Can you just try to build some flexibility into your day? Make sure you eat high protein/vegetable breakfasts and dinners, and leave some wiggle room for treats during the day? If you don't end up eating much on your visits, then have some extra snacks or bigger lunch ready to go. That would be my suggestion.
Thank you! Yes, I think that is my best bet. And I don't have this problem everyday, maybe a few days a week. But today, I had 1 cookie, and then when i tried to find the calories, it's like 300-400 because of being deep fried. It was just such a bummer. Maybe I need to focus on having more flexibility in my diary, so that it's not as bad when it's happen. But I usually want to have a few calories extra over the weekend as well... some priorities are just harder to make I guess.0 -
Wow. I feel for you. This is a challenge on so many levels. I guess the allergy thing might be good to try..."Thank you, those look delicious but unfortunatly I have food allergies." You can be vauge and say you have a lot of different allergies so that they can't make something that will fit. Yes, it's a lie, but I'm on the side of a little white lie to preserve a strangers feelings never hurt anyone.
I think it's very kind of you to be so concerned about offending their culture or their financial situation by refusing.
I like the "make it into a joke" idea as well, though that may not be as bullet proof.0 -
Be an adult, stop making so many excuses. Someone can be as offended as they want, what are they gonna do? Jam the cookie down your throat?
Have more self respect and be more authoratative, if I say no thank you then that is what I mean. You could be allergic, you could be full, you might just not feel like eating a cookie - regardless it isn't an argument. Stop caring what other people think so much.
I will never stop thinking about what my clients experience of me is.
Sometimes the difference between placing a child in foster care and letting them stay with their parents is as easy as making the parents accept help. However, they are only going to do that if they trust me, if they believe in what I say and that I genuinly have their childs best at heart, if they feel that I respect and listens to what they have to say and can incoroporate that into whatever help they need. This will not happen if I can't create a good climat and cooperate with the parents.
It can be the difference between a family who feels that they got help, and things are getting better, and putting the family through a trauma.
It does, obviously not, come down to one cookie. But it helps.0 -
Thank them and then tell the truth - you are monitoring your food for health reasons and this does not fit into your nutritional guidelines0
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Be an adult, stop making so many excuses. Someone can be as offended as they want, what are they gonna do? Jam the cookie down your throat?
Have more self respect and be more authoratative, if I say no thank you then that is what I mean. You could be allergic, you could be full, you might just not feel like eating a cookie - regardless it isn't an argument. Stop caring what other people think so much.
I will never stop thinking about what my clients experience of me is.
Sometimes the difference between placing a child in foster care and letting them stay with their parents is as easy as making the parents accept help. However, they are only going to do that if they trust me, if they believe in what I say and that I genuinly have their childs best at heart, if they feel that I respect and listens to what they have to say and can incoroporate that into whatever help they need. This will not happen if I can't create a good climat and cooperate with the parents.
It can be the difference between a family who feels that they got help, and things are getting better, and putting the family through a trauma.
It does, obviously not, come down to one cookie. But it helps.
Hehe, quoting myself here. Didn't mean to sound like you are wrong, for the most cases you are absolutly right. And dependent on the family I also think like this. But a lot of the people I meet are in crisis, are scared, alone, might suffer from depression or mental illness or for other reasons be very sensitive. And the truth is that I really do HAVE to think about these things to do the best job I can.
And yes, even I do think this sounds like an excuse. But I am not sure that I actually believe me loosing a few kilos is more important than these children...0 -
Make an excuse for the food (you're full, you're diabetic/allergic, etc) and follow up with, "but I could go for some tea/water/coffee/milk." That way, you're enjoying something with them, but you're not eating so many cookies/treats. You can make exceptions for the houses where there is no polite way around it and then you can be more prepared to plan it into your day because it's one cookie vs. three or ten.0
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I don't think you're whole weight loss journey will be at jeopardy over eating a cookie (or even 2) here and there.
It will if she vists 10 houses day.
She said it happens once or twice a week. I can't see your weight loss going down the pooper for accepting a treat here and there and possibly eliminating a snack or 2 the rest of the week to make up for it. Also, if somebody offers something and you feel it's rude to decline, you don't have to have seconds or thirds. You may not be able to plan in advance for that one cookie but you can make up for it somewhere else.0 -
I feel you! I teach Home Ec and my students are always offering me their food after labs. I usually tell them that I can't eat everyone's yummy food all day or I would weigh 300 pounds. Other times I tell them that I will eat it with my lunch and have them put it on a napkin for me. After that I either put it in the staff lounge for others or throw it away. I also try to get them to think about giving some things to our custodial staff who keep pur lab area clean.
I understand your position and it is hard to say no to those cute little faces, but I've been 232 pounds and I don't want to go back there! Making healthy choices is a priority for me, but if I see a cookie that looks especially worth it, then I have half and do 10 extra minutes of exercise.
You've gotten lots of good suggestions from others. Good luck!0 -
I'm a social worker as well. It is true that a lot of families, particularly from certain cultures, will always serve coffee and food when I go. During my last job many of the families I would visit were providing care for their children who needed 24 hour care and supervision due to medical issues and intellectual disabilities so often my visit was a rare social activity for them since they often could not get out of the house much. If you can work it into your day, I would accept a small piece of cake or whatever. It does mean a lot to people to be able to keep things as normal as possible in difficult circumstances.
You just reminded me that I only started drinking coffee because I went to two homes every month where the moms would always have coffee and snacks and they would always want to "hang out" for awhile because they didn't get to socialize much. It was a great way for me to get to know the families I was working with.0 -
I feel you! I teach Home Ec and my students are always offering me their food after labs. I usually tell them that I can't eat everyone's yummy food all day or I would weigh 300 pounds. Other times I tell them that I will eat it with my lunch and have them put it on a napkin for me. After that I either put it in the staff lounge for others or throw it away. I also try to get them to think about giving some things to our custodial staff who keep pur lab area clean.
I understand your position and it is hard to say no to those cute little faces, but I've been 232 pounds and I don't want to go back there! Making healthy choices is a priority for me, but if I see a cookie that looks especially worth it, then I have half and do 10 extra minutes of exercise.
You've gotten lots of good suggestions from others. Good luck!
Nice to see I'm not alone and some great tips!
And you are right, I've recived a lot of good tips here, and even more support so I'm a bit overwhelmed!! Haha, I hope everyone here knows that I appreciate their input!! So thanks everyone! :flowerforyou:0 -
I do some home visits for my job and I'm scared to eat anything that comes out of those houses. Bleck.
I certainly hope you're very mindful of your interaction with the people in those houses. It's not hard for someone to pick up on the fact you don't respect them even if they are poor, uneducated, or perhaps suffering from mental illness or trauma.
I'm a lawyer, I'm supposed to be an *kitten*.
But seriously, I put on my game face, and try not to sit on any upholstered furniture.0 -
Say you're allergic. Works for me every time.
Or tell them you can have the beverage, but your work rules don't permit you to accept gifts, including food.
Honestly, I understand the cultural sensitivities, so maybe tell them you can only accept it if you bring it to the office for everyone.
Not sure what sort of SW you are, but if you're taking gifts or accepting things beyond beverages, it can certainly be used against you or your families to question your professional boundaries and judgment in a situation.
I could try this, but could be weird if they are then referred on to another social worker.
We actually had this discussion at work very recently, and we are not allowed to accept any gifts at all. But we came to the conclusions that if they offered us something to eat during a home visits it was ok, for the above mentioned reasons. But obviously it's something I could try to use... Maybe I'll try to have this conversation with some colleagues to see what they think. None of them are trying to lose weight at the moment tho...
I was thinking along the lines of how your professional judgment could be called into question, harming your ability to help them in the event you are questioned or asked for an opinion.
As far as you not taking cookies as gifts but them finding out that others do, that one is simple. The answer is, those people are interpreting a rule differently. You choose to err on the side of caution, since violating ethics rules can result in job loss or loss of licensure - and then you can't be much help to anyone.0 -
Well I see you've had a lot of replies and I haven't read them all (yet) BUT here is my advice, if this happens every day you are working then PLAN on it! The basic calories of the most common cookie/treat is what you use, yes they vary but there is a middle number you can use and deduct that amount from your daily limit so let's say your middle is 300 calories, and your daily limit is 1500 your new daily limit is 1200. If you don't have a treat that day, have an extra something. The other choice is on those days a huge salad is your dinner!
As for exercise I have a walking DVD it takes me 30 minutes and I have turned off a TV show or actually gotten back out of bed to do it! But for now I need to exercise every day, many only do it 4 days... whatever works for you.0 -
I do some home visits for my job and I'm scared to eat anything that comes out of those houses. Bleck.
This!! Me too. No way0 -
Well I see you've had a lot of replies and I haven't read them all (yet) BUT here is my advice, if this happens every day you are working then PLAN on it! The basic calories of the most common cookie/treat is what you use, yes they vary but there is a middle number you can use and deduct that amount from your daily limit so let's say your middle is 300 calories, and your daily limit is 1500 your new daily limit is 1200. If you don't have a treat that day, have an extra something. The other choice is on those days a huge salad is your dinner!
As for exercise I have a walking DVD it takes me 30 minutes and I have turned off a TV show or actually gotten back out of bed to do it! But for now I need to exercise every day, many only do it 4 days... whatever works for you.
OOOOOOH. This one!! GOOD STUFF!! Take it out ahead of time, and then if you don't eat the cookie, you win again!! The WORST you end up is where you planned to, and that aint bad!!0 -
Maybe you should just tell them the truth, IF they're offended by honesty then I suppose that's their problem.
Rigger0 -
I've been on the other side (doing a homestudy for adoption) and the social worker politely declined the cookie, and we were not offended at all. The families want to make a good impression, remember that, and at least for us we were more stressed about that than on whether she would eat the cookie or not.
Frankly if it was me I'd probably just say no anyway, as others have said... you never know what's in there! Just tell them it looks delicious but you're trying to lose weight.0 -
Don't know if it's allowed or in your time or budget...but what if you showed up with the cookies or treat? Make a batch of healthier cookies and bring some to share with them? Then you know exactly what's in them, can plan for them, and can still be eating with them and making them feel comfortable. Have no idea if this is a feasible idea...but a different idea.0
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