Need so much help!!

aja522430
aja522430 Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
I am a 26 year old who does know where she wants to be right now. I used to weigh 119 back in high school. I know, I know I can't go back to the same body I had in high school but really who says its not possible? I might not have the same figure but the weight? Why not?! Maybe not the 119 but 125 the most 130. I currently weigh 182 and I have 2 kids.

At this point in time I have gotten so depressed!! I am always getting rejected by my boyfriend because he says I disgust him because Im so fat!! He is the father of my 2 kids and it has gotten so hard. I have tried EVERYTHING from counting calories, watching what I eat, eating clean, measuring food intake, and even starving myself. None of which have helped me especially starving myself. Im so desperate to lose weight, I would be happy if I even lost 20 pounds for crying out loud. But just cant do it. Everytime I start trying to lose weight, my mother in law give me hell for it, she says why lose weight who are you trying to impress? Im not trying to impress anyone, Im doing it for myself for my own good, for my own health!!! GEEZ!!

Everyone seems to be judgemental about my weight but when I try and do something about it they dont support me. I do so good for about 2 weeks and lose maybe 2 to 3 pounds in that time frame. But once people "notice" the "change" in me they dont approve. I dont know what else to do!! I have crazy, not do-able weight lose goals. like lose 50 pound in a month kind of thing because thats how ugly I feel.

I can admit though that I dont have that motivation that everyone else has, I dont know if its because I dont have the support that I need or what. I can't stick my plan, I can't say no to food!! I'm really scared about getting diabetes since it runs in my family (maternal grandparents). Honestly, sometimes I think about even getting a knife and cutting my stomach off myself, that's how desperate I am. My family is not fat, maternal grandparents are a little heavier now at an old age, but they are not considered obese like me. My sisters, my brother, my mom and dad, aunts, uncles, and cousins are all really slim. I'm the only one who is fat (dont know what happen there) trust me there is not a day that goes by that I dont get a your fat comment from them!! I dont know what to do, I dont know what to try, and I sure dont know where to start anymore!! Sad part that no one seems to understand my pain.

I see all my friends from high school and even friends from now who are so motivated and look better than ever, and I say to myself geez why cant i be like that, why couldnt I stay the way I was? Some have 3 kids some have 4 and look amazing!! I know that most of it is because I sit on my butt during the day for work, and when I get home I do homework, help my oldest son with his homework, make dinner, take the boys a bath, and before I know it the day is gone. I wake up at 4am to make the boyfriend lunch for work, and then at 5am I am already getting ready for work to have enough time to get ready while the kids are asleep and then have enough time to get them ready befor I have to get to work at 7:30am. I know it sounds like an excuse but I really dont have time to work out!!

Guys/gals please help me I need some help to help me get back on track I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, I want my boyfriend to like me again, I want to be able to watch my kids grow up and have families of their own. I desperate for anything please!!

Replies

  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I have tried EVERYTHING from counting calories, watching what I eat, eating clean, measuring food intake, and even starving myself. None of which have helped me especially starving myself.
    Set your goal to 1 lb. per week. Log everything you eat accurately & honestly. Find reliable database entries. (There's a lot of incorrect data in there.) Weigh your food. Log your exercise, and eat back your exercise calories for two weeks. If you're not losing, try eating back half your exercise calories.

    Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Eat "good" or "clean" or "healthy" (whatever those words mean to you) 80% of the time. Fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into your calorie goal. Deprivation can lead to binges.

    Most of all, be kind to yourself. You deserve to be happy & healthy.
  • aja522430
    aja522430 Posts: 4
    Thanks editorgrrl I will keep that in mind I will go buy a scale and start properly weighing my food.
  • niqu11
    niqu11 Posts: 84 Member
    I'm so sorry that you feel like you don't have support! You have to just keep in mind that you are doing this for YOU and not for them! This is a great place to start here on My FP because you can get the support and motivation you need! Just reading through the message boards and seeing what others are doing can get you motivated. Just don't give up!

    If you want more motivation and you use Facebook, I have a motivation group over there. We are starting a 30 day squat and abs challenge on Feb 1st. It's another great way to have daily interaction with POSITIVE people! Here's the link. Just click join and I'll add you. https://www.facebook.com/groups/261186177382385/
  • aja522430
    aja522430 Posts: 4
    I have sent the request.

    I do tell myself that but I just can not stay motivated. I look through my friends pictures and see how thin they are and hope that it will help me and it does for a while but my boyfriend doesnt seem to help me either to try and stay on track. He gives me hell for being fat, but when I do something about it he complains as well!! Who the heck understands him LOL!!
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I will go buy a scale and start properly weighing my food.
    That's great! The most important thing to remember is that everybody's different, so it will take trial & error to find what works for you.

    Do not give up. If one thing doesn't work, try something else.

    Edited to add don't let BF stand in your way. Do this for you. No one can sabotage you unless you let them.
  • Jordan_Gregers
    Jordan_Gregers Posts: 35 Member
    It sounds like there quite a few not-so-good things going on in your life, maybe the least of which is about your size? I hope that you start getting some more consideration and kindness from the people in your life, that will do more than anything to help you reach your goals (whatever they might be). Most of the time being told you are worthless makes you feel pretty worthless, and things usually go downhill from there. I hope you have someone in your life who is encouraging you and letting you know that you have a purpose.

    My best.
  • Cookie_4
    Cookie_4 Posts: 152 Member
    Don't try to solve ALL those problems (weight, not knowing where you want to be, mom in law, boyfriend, etc) all at once. You cannot control other people, so you can only control what YOU do and how YOU feel. I know it's really hard to not let people get to you (people's words still get to me all the time), but you have to treat yourself like you would your best friend. Be kind and supportive to YOURSELF! Forgive yourself for setbacks and don't stop trying.

    Weight loss is obviously super hard or else MFP and this amazing community wouldn't exist ;-) Also remember, your life isn't The Biggest Loser, it's really rare to lose 15 pounds a week. Just think how many years it took you to gain all your extra weight... You didn't gain it overnight and you can't lose it overnight either!

    People try to shoot you down because you doing something good for yourself reminds them that you're doing something they can't. Turn to more positive things like MFP and your life will slowly fall into place. You'll see!
  • aja522430
    aja522430 Posts: 4
    Thank you for your kind words. You are right I do have to treat myself better. I have gotten so many ugly comments about myself almost all my life that it just makes it so hard to actually believe that I can treat myself better. I'm so used to the comments and the laughs I get that I can't take anyone serious. I feel as though this is how I am supposed to be for the rest of my life.

    I guess I just have to not be so hard on myself!! This will take time but I hope that with the friends I make on MFP i will be able to get that confidence I had before, if I even ever had it.... LOL I hope I get the support I need here on MFP because in my life I have no ones support not even my moms. Sad... yeah I know!!
  • trekkie_bbs
    trekkie_bbs Posts: 64 Member
    You are such a wonderful person. You need to stop take a deep breath every time you get upset. Depression is a real sickness and I just finally came out of my own so I feel for you right now.

    I was so proud of losing 70 pounds before a real good friend of mine died and I went into depression. At that time I decided I'm going to be happy and eat whatever I want cause you never know what tomorrow will bring. All tomorrow brought was a couple pounds on the waist and feeling more sorry for myself. Over the past 4 years since his death I gained 30 pounds back.

    I lost another dear friend last year and one of the things she wanted done at her wake was for people to take some fruit with them home. She wanted everyone to live a long healthy life and it was her way to give back once gone. This put me further into depression cause I didn't even try to work on myself.

    I just lost another dear friend and it got me thinking about where I am now +30 pounds heavier but still 40 pounds lighter than I was originally and decided enough is enough. I'm going to do this for myself!

    As I found my motivation for myself you must find your motivation for yourself. Only you can decide when enough is enough!

    A couple tricks I use to get moving in the morning is running in place for 5 minutes trying to bring my feet up to kick myself in the butt. This gets my heart racing and I get just a tad sweaty but ultimately it helps rev my metabolism up at least it does for me.

    I also decided since everything is messed up with calorie counts and it's all really nothing more than a estimate that I would go on the low side of what was recommended. So for me I cut my calories over a couple weeks to 1,500 per day.

    This sounds impossible to sustain especially with where I work in a very physically demanding job but for at least 2 weeks now I've done just fine even losing 4 pounds.

    Also I drink 16 cups of water per day. It sounds impossible but I chose a glass that is 3 cups per glass. I drink 2 of them per each meal and even sometimes go through a glass with my vitamins I have selected to help me keep strong.

    Ultimately only YOU will decide when enough is enough! When that day comes you will know it cause your going to start researching meals, workout routines that work for you (don't forget you must start somewhere even if it looks too easy), and finally believe in yourself. Until you do that you are only thinking about losing weight and have not fully committed to it.

    If there is one thing I have learned is you can truly do ANYTHING you want as long as you believe in yourself! Have faith that you will make the choice when you ultimately have had enough!

    I believe you can do it! Do you?

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