Share Your Funny Work Lingo

SamanthaD1218
SamanthaD1218 Posts: 303 Member
in Chit-Chat
My boss just reminded me to send STDs to all of our alumni, then wanted to know if I could help her navigate her new PMS.

I am clearly a four-year-old and had to giggle.

STD = save the date
PMS = project management system

Do you have any funny job jargon that would make no sense to people who don't work with you? When I was in academic publishing, my boss always referred to anal geometry. As a non-math person, it took me a while to figure out she was talking about analytic geometry.
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Replies

  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    That had me giggling. At work, we have this piece of equipment called the cooch roll and it seems like it's always messing up. I have to hide my face in meetings when the maintenance sup gets all mad and yells, "can someone please work on my cooch roll!" I might be a tad bit immature :)
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 303 Member
    Okay if I ever had to discuss a "cooch roll" at work, I'd probably die. I'm too busy helping my boss navigate her PMS, anyway ;)
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    I work in sales and we are always told to "penetrate" our accounts. It makes me laugh regularly.
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    Okay if I ever had to discuss a "cooch roll" at work, I'd probably die. I'm too busy helping my boss navigate her PMS, anyway ;)

    Right, especially when you are the only female in the room and 5 hot maintenance guys get up and say they are going to inspect the cooch!

    Sounds like a dirty job...you can probably avoid the STD's if you don't penetrate the accounts, but either way, be safe....rofl...*gigglesnort*
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    In.
    This thread is too funny!
  • eelamme
    eelamme Posts: 1,135 Member
    SOB = Shortness of Breath
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
    Ooh, I'll have to think of this one. The only one I can think of the moment is "I'm currently working on a BIMBO" (Buy-in-management-buy-out)
  • Marionmmm1
    Marionmmm1 Posts: 13
    I work for a motor company so we are always asking customers about their load - how big is your load? gross, because it has two meanings to me.

    Do you need a rear shaft? What size shaft do you need?

    We sell ball-screws... One of our customers name is Ball Screw... it's like I'm 12 years old... hehehe
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    STAT
    SOB
    DNR
    SZ
    PRN

    OK, these really aren't funny:frown:
  • AmykinsCatfood
    AmykinsCatfood Posts: 599 Member
    I don't have any funny ones. All we have are PDQ's which is a "Pretty Darn Quick" display. All you have to do is add the top banner and it's set up. Borrring :(
  • crazie4lulu
    crazie4lulu Posts: 762 Member
    i work at a gym and i always have my i pod with me for a stopwatch. it also has an owl cover over it...very cute... i happen to love owls. my kids bought it for me and well kids being kids ...wanted to name it for me. so now i walk around holding my Hooters. so when i leave the ipod... people in the gym say... make sure you dont forget your hooters!!!
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    I work for an automated lighting company (think concert lighting). One of our competitors released a light called the G-Spot last year. The jokes still haven't stopped.
  • ChangingAmanda
    ChangingAmanda Posts: 486 Member
    SOB - Source of Business
    PMS - Property Management System
    POS - Point of Sale (but really they can be Pieces of Sh!ts)
    STD - Short Term Disability
  • doug_pierce
    doug_pierce Posts: 255
    CAMELTOE: Capital, Asset quality, Management, Earnings, Liquidity, Trade, Operational and Enterprise risk
  • scrapalooza
    scrapalooza Posts: 335 Member
    Dylan quit touching Allie
    Brooklyn put your shirt down
    Get that out of your mouth


    Oh you dirty minded people...I have a daycare! Bwahahahaha
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
    Dylan quit touching Allie
    Brooklyn put your shirt down
    Get that out of your mouth


    Oh you dirty minded people...I have a daycare! Bwahahahaha

    Had me rolling ! :laugh: :laugh:
  • jaclync324
    jaclync324 Posts: 37 Member
    We use POS too. It's not that funny. We do have a tool and my boss regularly asks people to "play with it and try to break it."

    On a side note, I am the den mother for my son's tiger den. We went to the firehouse and every time the firefighter giving the tour said hose, one mom, who is a teacher kept cracking up. I am way too mature for that but I did make a really bad joke when the Emergency Services Unit came for pack night. One of the boys asked the officer if he ever shot an animal. The officer answered, a cougar to which the boy asked, what's a cougar....I am sure you can guess what happened next. :)
  • JeffTCole
    JeffTCole Posts: 140 Member
    WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
  • will2lose72
    will2lose72 Posts: 128 Member
    We have MUFs...minimum usage fees. Really??
  • justinproulx1
    justinproulx1 Posts: 335
    Locum Tenens
  • jangier
    jangier Posts: 109 Member
    we have POS (point of sale), but yours are sooooo funny!!!!!!
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    County Jail =

    Crib Sheet = Booking Paperwork
    Junk & Bunk = Being Released from custody
    Go Drop = Urine sample (drug test)
    Jewelry = Leg irons, cuffs, shackles etc.

    a million other ones!
  • ErinSchramm
    ErinSchramm Posts: 9
    Worst thing that a few of us say out in the open when we're having a bad day is "FTS. It's FTS hour!"

    FTS = F**k This S**T.
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 303 Member
    SOB is School of Business for my job. "I'm heading over to talk to the SOB dean"

    We also have an internal sort of social media website where coworkers can connect and share documents and ask questions. We can upload our resumes or write a profile, which is called a V-card. So everyone's page has a button that says "Download my V-card." I know a lot of law firms and other businesses also do this, but it still makes me cringe!
  • toiletski
    toiletski Posts: 126 Member
    When we get really frustrated with things we'll say "This thing is gonna have me speaking Canadian." This is a reference to our elderly Canadian accountant who drops F bombs and SH words on a daily.
  • DesDawn24
    DesDawn24 Posts: 147 Member
    At my work we have "cooties". Most of the time cooties are bad things, but these derived from someone botching the word "kudos". THerefore, to give "cooties" to someone is a huge compliment!
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Chargeback = customer
  • Angimom
    Angimom Posts: 1,463 Member
    When we make molds we use a Vulcanizer, and you must always give the live long and prosper sign when you say it! HAHAHAHA
  • aerochic42
    aerochic42 Posts: 843 Member
    This job and my last one both had TPS reports (okay not really immature, but funny movie reference that most seem oblivious to). One job was Test Pilot school reports and the other is total production system report.

    there are also signs by the vertical heat treat ( I work at a metal manufacturer) that say no swimming or fishing and a safety pole that looks remarkably like a minion.
  • mtneerjk81
    mtneerjk81 Posts: 65 Member
    PIMP - Product inspection & management plan
    VAG - Video action group
    TIT - Technology information transmittal

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