I don't have the motivation to do this. Please help me.

You sound depressed to me. Go to a doctor and get a physical, tell the doctor how much you are sleeping and eating, and ask for help. Get that under control first. Then you'll feel more optimistic about working on your weight, and about getting more exercise. Not everything can be fixed by diet. Sometimes the food is the symptom, and you need to work on the cause.

^This. As someone that has seen depression in myself and in others and ultimately sought help, I can't agree with this more.

Yes! You sound depressed: loss of motivation, extreme fatigue, inability to get anything done. I know what that feels like. See your regular doctor for a referral to a specialist. Gaining 80 pounds in four years is big reason for concern.

I was diagnosed with depression in Nov. 2012 and have been on medication since then. I'm actually thinking about changing doctors because I feel like all the medication did was stick me on a pretty much 100% neutral feeling towards everything, which, granted, is better than the horrible lows that I used to have... but I can't tell if my life has actually improved or not. For those who are curious, I take 20mg of Lexapro a day.

Hmmm, maybe talk to your doctor about another medication? Or maybe a lower dose. 20mg of Lexapro totally killed my sex drive and made me a little crazy. Maybe you're having some of the side effects of it too.

Honey, you sound like you are depressed and while your meds are possibly keeping you from being suicidally miserable, they are not allowing you to be HAPPY. There's a difference. I was diagnosed with depression and was on one group of meds for three years and while it blunted the pain, I wasn't myself. I finally talked to my provider and we screwed around with doseages, then tried different meds until I found something that worked better for me. Then I was able to make changes. I've lost 160 lbs so far, gotten rid of all but one med I'm on, and cut the doseage of that one in half. Don't settle for "Not suicidally miserable." You deserve to be happy, and keep working with your provider until you find something that lets you be YOU again.

Now, that said, once I *DID* get my physiology in order, I still had what I thought were "motivation" problems, but I finally at age 46 figured out was really discipline problems. Here's my thoughts on that part of it.

http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer

Take a small step that you can manage, get a taste of success, then take another step. Change one bad habit and you'll see you have the power to change more. Don't look at the end and see the insurmountable mountain - look to next week, going without any soda!

The first step is being absolutely honest with yourself - don't overlook anything you eat when counting calories, it defeats the purpose. Part of this is to make you aware of what your idle hand grab to munch on. A pretzel here, a Hershey kiss there and they add up.

I know it can be hard but I think the key is remaining in a conscious thought driven mode around food. Don't be on autopilot. When you aren't paying attention to yourself you will go by what has become habitual for you. This isn't a moral failing, it's a slip. You can get right back up - just track it and carry on. Don't deny yourself things you love, and don't waste your calories on things you don't. To learn portion control, it's best to eat slowly and consciously, and wait before deciding that you want more. Your body may be full but you need to give your stomach 15 minutes to process the food for it to send the full signal to your brain.

And although you feel like giving up sometimes, keep reaching out and keep trying, and soon you'll have small successes you can be proud of. Build on those, share it with your friends and family. The more you are consciously considering your choices and keeping your weight loss in mind, the less influence old habits will have on you. Just the act of reaching out to us tells me you are ready for change. I wish you all the success in the world.

You sound depressed to me. Go to a doctor and get a physical, tell the doctor how much you are sleeping and eating, and ask for help. Get that under control first. Then you'll feel more optimistic about working on your weight, and about getting more exercise. Not everything can be fixed by diet. Sometimes the food is the symptom, and you need to work on the cause.

This...so This. Honey you sound depressed. You need to go talk to someone. *hugs* We can't 'give' you the motivation, you need to pull that from within you. We can support you and offer advice but the biggest part is up to you.

I can empathize with not always having motivation... whatever the reason, whether it's because you feel depressed, tired, anxious, discouraged, you can always start with something.

Here are some ways you can start feeling more energized:
1 - Don't sleep in. This sounds counter-intuitive, but waking up and going back to sleep (e.g., hitting the snooze button) disrupts the hormone cycle, making it even more difficult to get moving when you do get up. Wake up at the same time each day even if you have to force yourself to at first.
2 - Get moving! It seems like the more energy you use, the more energy you have. Go for a long walk -- you won't even think of it as exercise, but you'll feel great when you get back. I started going for walks just to get some time to myself and it always helps my mood.
3 - Don't think about what you are -- think about what you can be! If I find myself thinking "I look terrible" or "I'm slow and weak" it can quickly spiral into the self-pity you're describing. But if I instead tell myself "I'm going to be in the best shape of my life!" I feel much better and I'm much more likely to make the effort to go to the gym or watch what I eat.
4 - Make positive memories with healthy food. I hate the term "comfort food" because it usually describes high-fat, high-sugar, carb-laden foods with little nutritional benefit. Make your new comfort food something you feel good about eating. You'll never see me eating rice cakes... but I love chicken salad with celery sticks and a clementine for dessert. Find healthy food that you like to eat.
5 - Make a point each day to read/watch something that inspires you. You can find lots of motivational speeches on youtube. Get yourself a calendar that has an inspiring quote on it each day and make it your motto for the day.

Getting in shape is fun and exciting. It's like finding $20 that you didn't know you had. As each week goes by, I'm happier at all of the things that I can now do because of my workouts. You'll see that in your daily life -- you won't get winded taking the stairs, you'll find walking around the neighborhood invigorating, you'll like trying on clothes. Next thing you know, you go from a mile-long run that you thought was going to kill you to signing up for a marathon that you're excited to run! The little changes you make every day will add up to a happier, healthier you.

I even take as many of classes online just so that I have less reasons to leave my apartment because I am too embarrassed to let people see me and how much I let myself go.

The more replies I read from everybody, the more I think I need to discuss my medication because it might not be helping me as much as it should. I just HATE going to any doctor's office because whenever I go, I get weighed and then I get the lecture from both the nurse and the doctor about how I have to get this weight issue under control. Seriously. I've been putting off a physical for 5 months because I don't want them to see that I gained another 15lbs since I was there.

First, cut yourself a break. You haven't killed anybody or robbed a bank. You're preparing to graduate with a tough degree. College is a really stressful time, no matter how many people tell you it's the best time of your life. I had a great time in college but I would never do it again.

I am also on 20mg of Lexapro. Ignore your parents' calls for you to get off of it. People who don't have depression or anxiety (my problem) have zero idea how much of a difference the right medication makes. I am glad you are making an appointment with your doctor. It sounds like you either need a different drug or a different dosage. Something isn't working right now.

You don't have to be lectured. Stop the doctor and nurse before they start. Tell them you want to work on your weight but you have to get your depression under control before you can. It's true. It's impossible to have motivation or willpower when you're struggling to just get out of bed and get through the day.

You can do this.

It sounds like depression to me. I can say about depression, it takes a lot to bring you out of it. You may be dog tired and don't feel like doing a thing, but once you do a workout, the feeling afterwards is rewarding. The more you do, the better you feel. TRUST ME. I'm not depressed right now, but I'm slowly on my way there because I haven't gotten out much AT ALL. It's like you're stopping yourself from moving forward. Almost maybe a fear of the end results of losing the weight. Will I gain all this weight back and be right back where I am now? Will it really help improve the depression? Also, your parents have a good point about the diabetes, you are on your way there. I was on my way there, I know lol. But it is preventable and yes, you can choose to do the healthy choice meals or dinners like that, but I wouldn't recommend it as a total fix all. You can't eat them 3 times a day and get all you need from them. Now every now and then when you feel so bad you can't hardly move, then yeah. But the problem with that is, you do it once, you'll more than likely do it again, and again, and again, then it becomes a pattern. I suggest seeing a new Dr about trying a different kind of medicine and seeking out a therapist. Sounds silly I know, but often times we harbor feelings inside that are the root of the problem and we can't talk to family and friends about, so talking to a complete stranger who doesn't know you or anyone around you from Adam. I've seen two when I was younger, and it really does help. Good luck and I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Everyone here has had some really good advice and here are my two cents.

Definitely go to your doctor. Your medication doesn't sound like it's working right. I was also on a medication that left me in the neutral zone and yeah. it's better than the dark places, but it's not a good thing.

When your doctor/nurse starts to get into the "you need to get this under control" stuff interrupt them and say, 'I know I do and that's why I'm here in your office." If a large part of your lack of motivation stems from depression then getting that in control will go miles toward your health.

As for what you can do now, if making a full life change is hard to put on your plate right now you can try little steps in the fast food joints. Get a water instead of a soda, or opt to not get french fries. Those two things are incredibly fattening on their own and just cutting out part of the fast food meal is a good step toward weaning yourself off fast food in general.


You can do this!

We can't make you want to do the changes. You either want to do them or you don't.

If you feel like you can't, then you should call in outside help - a nutritionist/dietician, doctor and perhaps a therapist as well. We can't make you want to do better.