Online dating struggles

1. Maybe see a counselor about your insecurities. They shine through and attract the wrong sort of person- time to purge them.
2. Online dating is rough!! If you are going to do it, take it very slow and leave your clothes on for the first few dates at least. Get to know he guy(s) you are dating before getting too involved.
3. There are a Lot of scammers out there. Do not let him know your info or where you live etc: protect your info. If you are going to go home with him, text a friend with his address and let him know at you are doing so. If he is a cereal killer or rapist, that will foil his plot (bad guys don't want to get caught, and all bad guys are really great guys till their demons come out).
4. Be very choosy and have fun. Don't talk about your weight and don't let it be an issue. You've made excellent progress, and you are beautiful. Remember that you are worth the best and demand it.

Now let's all sing with Madonna: "don't go for second best baybay, put your love to the test. You know you know you know you got to...."

I think you have an opportunity here. Since you have concerns about intimacy right now, you can be very choosy on the guys you go out on a date with. Since you're looking for a quality guy who is going to see you for you and you don't want to get naked quickly, why not take your time to find a great guy?

I couldn't have imagined being intimate with a woman at 400 pounds but then I found "the one" (who was 160lbs) that saw me and not my fat. It didn't work out in the end but that wasn't due to my weight. Dip your toe into the pool and see what happens...

Have you considered getting out and meeting people in real life? Its so much better than online dating.

This. Although I have no idea how to actually meet men in real life either - I've been single forever. But online dating is just horrifying and brutal. I find it to be a total self-esteem killer.

1. Maybe see a counselor about your insecurities. They shine through and attract the wrong sort of person- time to purge them.
2. Online dating is rough!! If you are going to do it, take it very slow and leave your clothes on for the first few dates at least. Get to know he guy(s) you are dating before getting too involved.
3. There are a Lot of scammers out there. Do not let him know your info or where you live etc: protect your info. If you are going to go home with him, text a friend with his address and let him know at you are doing so. If he is a cereal killer or rapist, that will foil his plot (bad guys don't want to get caught, and all bad guys are really great guys till their demons come out).
4. Be very choosy and have fun. Don't talk about your weight and don't let it be an issue. You've made excellent progress, and you are beautiful. Remember that you are worth the best and demand it.

Now let's all sing with Madonna: "don't go for second best baybay, put your love to the test. You know you know you know you got to...."

Very good advice!

Online dating can and does work but you have to be patient and be willing to go on a lot of first dates. There will be a lot of people that aren't looking for what you're looking for let alone the freaks (You will meet a few!)

Don't give it up too soon (unless you want to, but don't expect that to turn into a real relationship). If you keep your knickers on you'll weed out the guys that just want one thing. If a guy really does like you he'll wait.

I met my boyfriend online. I used OKcupid because I found POF was rampant with guys looking for flings. OKcupid was like the free version of eHarmony for me as they ask a lot of in depth questions and can help you see who is serious and who isn't.

I was 240 when I met my boyfriend and I was honest. I wasn't happy with my body, I was working on losing weight on toning up, but that it was going to need a lot of dedication and effort from me. He's super supportive, helps me train and work out in the gym ( he has years of martial arts experience and work out tips)

We've been together almost 2 years now, he eats better than he did when single too as a way to support my new lifestyle. Honestly could not have worked out better for me.

Be honest, let him know where you are with your life and what you need. If they are intimidated or uneasy with it, then honestly not worth the effort. I was uncomfortable being seen undressed, but I realized I had someone who loved me as I was for who I am ( super cheesy and cliche, I know) and that honestly made all the difference. Support, love, understanding. If they don't have it in them, it shows, move on, you're worth every bit of love someone can give.

Dutch courage? :drinker:
Just kidding.
All the best.

Even if things don't workout between you and someone it's still should be a lesson for you!! Don't be discouraged, it's not about our weight or looks or anything like that. It's about meeting your match. Just remember: always be confident, that's the best thing about a woman.

I met my boyfriend online, but I had to sort through a bunch of guys who weren't right for me first. Some were creepy, some were losers, some were great guys just not for me.

But what I'm going to say applies whether you met the guy online or in real life.

1) If he pressures you for sex before you're ready, he's not right for you.
2) If you take your clothes off and he is not appreciative, put your clothes back on and kick him to the curb.

I agree, I met my husband online. We're married ten years. I had to meet a few guys before him but luckily not too many. Someone else posted to make sure that your profile pic is accurate too, so it shows what you really look like now. Best of luck with it.