Mourning my dad without gaining millions of pounds - how?

Oh my goodness, that is terrible news! First I am so sorry for you and your family. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.

My suggestion would be to first and foremost take care of your self as best you can. If you have insurance through your mom, consider seeing a councillor, it may feel awkward at first but it may help you to sort out your feelings instead of trying to push them away.
Emotional eating is a way for us to cope via distraction. Just try to keep a couple things in mind: when you eat garbage, you feel like garbage - and you won't want to feel any worse than you do right now. Also, eating is only a temporary fix, it will not change your situation and only make you feel yucky.

Maybe try finding new vices, running, walking and yoga can be therapeutic for some people (and might give you a bit more freedom to eat what you like), or maybe focus on listening to music.

I would say the most important thing to do is surround yourself with family and friends, support systems are the best. Again, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, I hope things get easier. good luck

First, give yourself some time (a few weeks) to just process. Don't worry about your weight or anything. Exercise is a good distraction, and remember eating won't make you feel better. But seriously, don't stress about the weight right now. You aren't going to gain a million pounds in 2 weeks.

Think about getting some counseling, possibly for your entire family. See if you can help your mother with that. Look at what your insurance covrs (if you have insurance).

Then a few weeks start thinking about your weight again. Maybe try to use it as a bit of a distraction.

So I'm not sure if this is the right place or even the right time to ask this question, but right now I'm sorta all over the place so whatever.

Yesterday, we found out my dad took his own life, leaving me (19 y/o), my brother (12 y/o) and my mother behind. Since then I've been baking, eating, grocery shopping and eating and eating et cetera. I know I'll hate myself for it later, but right now I really can't let any kind of fat or sugar go untouched - while my mom can barely eat more than a few crackers a day.

Have any of you perhaps gone through a situation like this? Does anyone have any tips? Please help me

I am sorry for your loss.
I would consider a family activity that your father would love to do..

I'm so sorry!!

I agree with the advice given.

Give yourself some time, take care of yourself, don't worry about it.

Pretty much everyone reacts to trauma and loss with a change in dietary habits. Some people eat more, some people don't eat, some people stop exercise, some people exercise more, and many people have a mixture of these things.

I also think the best thing would be to get counseling. Also, maybe a support group for people that have lost loved ones to suicide.

Another thing is to sit down and make a list of all the things that you can do that will bring you comfort when you need it. It can be whatever works for you, no matter how small or "silly" it may seem. Find a way to fit in the food related comforts, and find a way to fit in the non food related comforts. When you are having a tough time, go to the list and find something that will help you in that moment. It's also ok to switch to more easy going exercise options for right now, such as going for a walk or things that are gentle for you, but still keep you moving and active.

It's important for you to have support right now (also for your family to have support).

if i was in your situation. i would eat and eat and eat. to try and numb the pain.

I'm so sorry.

Here are my thoughts. It JUST happened. Give yourself some time, you may go through some different phases over the next few weeks. Do not stress yourself over your eating during this time. Do not weigh yourself either because you may fluctuate due to sodium and if this is going to upset you, just don't weigh. If after a few weeks you are not able to stop, then look for some ways to try to put the brakes on. But right now, just give yourself some time.

This...

Also...when my dad died on a car accident I was also in when I was 9. This is what I did, I ate and ate and ate...

Give yourself time to process it. If you can reach out to your PCP or if you have an EAP at work and try to find a counselor. That may help. Not just any counselor either, you have to find out what they specialize in and go from there.

I am sooooo sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry to hear this. No child should lose their parent.

I lost my husband to Cancer in August and my daughter is 21, and sons 18 and 15. We work thru it by keeping busy with things other than food. I work out after work and take college classes. I have a good support system of friends and family. You need to make sure you have someone you can lean on besides food. The two older children are in College and the books keep them busy, my younger son has joined the swim team.

Find hobbies that can make you feel good about yourself. I have been getting hair cuts and color, pedicures and manicures (all things i never did before) Anything to make my life worth living and not to eat away my sorrow.

Good luck.

So sorry to here this. My dad passed on a couple of weeks before Christmas...different circumstances but quite unexpected as he was relatively young. I'd like to say it has gotten easier...and to some extent it has, but I'm still in mourning and some days are just very bad for me in that RE.

I had the opposite problem though, I basically had to force myself to just get basic nutrition....I was taking in most of my calories with bourbon and just forcing down some yogurt and stuff every once in awhile. That lasted a couple of weeks before I decided that I needed to shape up and wasn't doing myself any favors. I also started going to grief counseling weekly which has really helped.

I made it a point to just focus on my nutrition and fitness. All and all, making sure I get my workouts in as planned, regardless as to whether I feel up to it or not has made the biggest difference for me...that and the counseling.

My condolences.

I don't really know what to say about the food part but I wanted to tell you my heart goes out to you and your family. I cannot imagine what you must all be feeling right now. I've lost several loved ones and the only advice I can give you is to allow yourself to feel what you feel. Those stages of grief are real and nothing to feel bad about. My prayers are with you and if a brownie helps at a time like this I'd be inclined to say, eat the brownie. Just maybe not the whole pan.

I lost my mom 6 months ago to cancer, though
I'm much older than you (36) and have a family
Of my own. Over the past year leading up to
Losing her to cancer, I had stopped working out
And watching what I ate and I gained 40lbs. I knew
That I would get back on the wagon but the pain
Was just too much starting out. Give yourself time.
If you need the outlet of baking and eating to cope
With this unexpected loss, it's okay. Keep in mind
That exercising will help you tremendously in the healing
Process but only when you are ready. Be gentle with
Yourself. You've gone through something traumatic
And giving yourself time to get back on track is OK.
So sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your and your family's great loss. Take some time to take care of each other.

First, give yourself some time (a few weeks) to just process. Don't worry about your weight or anything. Exercise is a good distraction, and remember eating won't make you feel better. But seriously, don't stress about the weight right now. You aren't going to gain a million pounds in 2 weeks.

Think about getting some counseling, possibly for your entire family. See if you can help your mother with that. Look at what your insurance covrs (if you have insurance).

Then a few weeks start thinking about your weight again. Maybe try to use it as a bit of a distraction.

^This.

And I am very sorry for your loss (hugs)

I want to let you know you are not alone. I'm so sorry for your loss..for your family's loss. October 2, 2013 I found out that my eldest sister passed away. For me what made it worse is that they came to my door to notify me and then I had to tell my Mom and twin sister about it. Breaking the news to my sister's daughter broke my heart. Her passing was sudden and unexpected. And we may never know how she passed.

I've been struggling a lot lately...given time, love, support, understanding, compassion I'm not always crying when I see a picture of her or talk about her. I hope you will find comfort in knowning that you should give yourself a break when you slip...it happens...don't be too hard. All we have is today...make each day count. Tell your loved ones you love them every chance you get and love yourself too. That means taking time to mourn your father's passing and not worry about the weight. That added stress is not something you need right now. Right now you need to heal.

I have found walking (with music) to be a good therapy for me. I waited some time to start myfitnesspal back up again. I've just recently gotten back on the bandwagon. Time is what you need to heal...and patience...and therapy. I've been seeing a grief counselor too. It has helped me tremendously to come to terms with what has happened. I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying it will happen overnight but in time it does get a little easier to ...I guess accept.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family during this time.

~Kapua

I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing someone you love is one of the most traumatic things you can go through, and there's no one answer on how to deal with it. I agree that focusing on calories is probably one thing that you can let go for a few weeks while you figure out what life's going to be like without your dad.

2 years ago, my boyfriend passed away suddenly and for the first month, it was all I could do to choke down a few bites a day (although, like the poster above, I managed to keep my calories up through drinking lots and lots of wine - not something I'd recommend). Then when my appetite came back, it seemed to come back double.

One of the most productive things I did was force myself to get out and take a walk every day. Sometimes it was ten minutes, sometimes an hour or two. It wasn't about burning calories, it was about getting out of the house because without forcing myself to, I would have just sat on the couch and been even more miserable. It was HARD but essential for me.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Please don't burden yourself with unnecessary stress. Diet and exercise are trivial concerns at times like this. Losing a parent is difficult under the best of circumstances; losing one under such tragic circumstances even more so. It's a time for mourning and grieving.

More importantly...

Please consider counseling. There are support groups specifically for families affected by suicide. No one should be expected to cope with such a loss unaided. There are people who truly care and they want to help you and your family.

Peace be with you.