Some of us are just not made to be *that* skinny

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  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    I deal with this all the time. I focus so hard on that number on the scale that I don't see the real progress being made. I might not be at my "ideal weight" (society says 145 for me... ummmm, that was 8th grade), but I look and feel better than I have in years. I might not be there yet, but if this journey has taught me anything, its that I should feel comfortable with myself and that is all that matters.
  • ThriceBlessed
    ThriceBlessed Posts: 499 Member
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    When I matched your height and gender up with a BMI chart, it told me that a healthy weight was anywhere between 115-145 so who is telling you that you have to be at the lowest possible end of that range? The reason there is a range instead of just a standard number is because different body types need to be in different places. And even then, some people who have a lot of muscle may fall outside the range and still be healthy.

    So basically, your goal is healthy, if someone is telling you that you should aim for less just because they think everyone should be a the lowest possible number considered healthy (aka on the verge of being underweight), just ignore them. Set a goal you are happy and healthy at, and aim for that.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    It depends a lot on your frame, how much muscle you have etc. Go with what you're comfortable with.

    I'm 5'5" and 138 right now and I want to lose at least 8 more, but I honestly can't tell if I look good or not - the loose skin on my belly makes it hard to see how much of it is actually fat. So, in doubt, I'm trying to lose more... but I look ok in clothes, even though I have a large frame (you can see the pic in my profile). With that large frame I can tell you I'd never be able to fit in a size 0, heck I don't think I'll ever fit in a 4. So 125 lbs would probably be impossible to maintain for me.

    For what it's worth, my doctor was happy when I was 148.
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,298 Member
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    We are all made to be different. Some of us have the dubious benefit of time past, against which to measure ourselves in our different life stages. Well done everyone who knows where they were when they felt at their best, in themselves, for looks and for health. Nature dictates women need a higher body fat ratio than that of men. At puberty the sexes diverge and girls particularly are deluged with the concept that they should not become slightly rounded having the unhealthy, tomboy, sexless figure is what they should aspire to.

    I wish everyone the self knowledge to know what is right for them and to know when systems start to go down and the ability to find the best advice they can to keep their life healthy. Clawing back to health is not easy.
  • sharebear2012
    sharebear2012 Posts: 122 Member
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    145 pounds at 5.5 puts you at a BMI of 24.1 within a healthy weight zone. Within that 20 to 25 BMI healthy zone (or some sources say 18 to 15) the choice of where you feel good and look good should be your guide. Not external sources. For me at a BMI of 24 I look terrible but opposite of you, small breasted and not curvy. I need my BMI around 22 to look my best and feel my best. Choose the weight goal right for you and you are absolutely right your body with larger breasts needs larger hips to match so a curvy figure suits your body type. Be the best you can be and you are doing the right things!!
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
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    I haven't fully dealt with it unfortunatly but i totally 100% agree with what you're saying. I looked at my BMI recently on the NHS website and it says i should weight between 7st6 and 10st2 at 5ft3. In lbs that's between 104lbs-142lbs. If i was 104lbs i can tell you now i'd look anorexic but oh no, i'd still be considered a healthy weight, wtf! I know i'd look ill at that weight cause my lowest weight was 8st12 (124lbs) and my friends and family were all very worried about me and said i looked gaunt and ill. It's just ridiculous what is expected of us and sometimes i do thing "f**k you society, i'm curvy and proud" but other days it does get to me that i'm not skinny especially cause i have had to deal with disordered eating for nearly 5 years now and while society is the way it is i find it hard to change when there's constant skinny images in my face.
  • xilka
    xilka Posts: 308 Member
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    Good for you!
    (for going with what feels right for you)

    I too am told that I should weigh 15 lbs less than what I feel is a good weight for me.

    5lbs more booty than those poor flat-bootied girls, another 5 in my muscular thighs
    (because, who wants toothpick legs, right?) and then another 5 to round it all out.
    I'm definitely not made to be *that* skinny, and wouldn't want to be.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    What is this society that is telling you that you should be 120...I've never heard of this.

    are you talking about BMI? You realize that BMI is a big range right? you have to take into account your build/frame, as well as muscle composition, etc. for that matter, BMI isn't even the best measure...to get to the very highest of BMI for me, I'd have to get down to 10% BF which would be completely unsustainable long term...I'm not a bodybuilder by any means, but I do have a decent amount of muscle. To get to the middle of the BMI range where I was in my early 20s I would have to not only burn fat, but about 10-15 Lbs of muscle as well....these are the things people do not consider when they're trying to get to some arbitrary number on the scale...they don't really understand what that number is made of.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    I am between 5'4 and 5'5 and currently weigh 138. As you can probably tell from my profile picture, I look fairly "skinny". I was told 20 lbs ago I didn't need to lose any more weight. I stuck to my guns and now at my lowest adult weight EVER, I am entering maintenance with a goal to reduce body fat and gain muscle...I lost more than fat, unfortunately. As far as what looks good and feels good, it will definitely vary person to person. That's why there are weight "ranges". No one is alike. I am towards the top of my healthy weight range, and look fine. As long as you're healthy, it's what makes YOU happy.
  • ashleysuperfly
    ashleysuperfly Posts: 44 Member
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    I'm SO glad you posted this! I'm currently 5'6" and 187 pounds. I am pretty damn happy with how I look right now. Do I want to lose more? Absolutely, and I plan on it, but for my height I'm supposed to be like 150 pounds. That's 37 POUNDS from where I am now and I think it is absolutely impossible for me to look good dropping another 37 pounds. I am curvy and muscular (I've played sports since I was 8) and that has to be taken into account. The whole "muscle weighs more than fat" debate has truth to it. Yes, 1 pound of muscle and 1 pound of fat weigh the exact same, but that pound of fat is gonna take up a whole lot more room than that pound of muscle. So all the muscle mass I have is adding to that number on the scale. I want to get to maybe 160. I may get to 165 or something and be like "Nope, gotta stop there." I don't want to look like Rachel on The Biggest Loser.

    Anyway, all that to say, I'm glad I'm not the only one to realize that the "healthy weight range" and "BMI scale" is all so general, it's ridiculous. That is, in no way what anyone should base their fitness goals on!
  • tjthegreatone
    tjthegreatone Posts: 324
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    There's a reason why the BMI is in RANGES. It is meant to work at a population level. Some people will never be healthy at a BMI of 18 while others are. Some others will actually be carrying excess weight at a BMI of 25.

    This is influenced by genetics, muscle mass etc. I have read somewhere that there is talk of reducing the upper limit of a healthy BMI for Asians (South and East Asians) to 23, and increasing it to 27 for Afro-Caribbeans.

    You just have to find your natural weight within the range, which I define as a weight you tend to gravitate to naturally, without restriction and overexercise, where clothes fit best and (for women) they have normal periods. Of course this is difficult for people who have longstanding eating disorders, or who have been overweight/obese for a long time and have no concept of what their 'normal' weight is.

    When I was 5'9 and 190lb I said I had thick bones and was muscular (true). No one would have called me overweight but I was. My aim was to drop to 170lb and stop. I got to 150lb and decided that it was do-able but not compatible with living a normal life and having a normal relationship with food and a career outside the gym. Now I'm comfortable at 155-160lb.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
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    actually 120-130 for a woman who is 5 ft 5 is on the cusp of being underweight.

    The guideline I've always seen: For a woman, 100 lbs for the first 5', plus 5 lbs. for each additional inch. For a man, 106 lbs. for the first 5', plus 6 lbs. for each additional inch. Don't know how it works for people under 5', or the really tall.

    According to that formula, a woman 5'5" "should" weigh 125 lbs. The BMR for 120-130 is 20 to 21.6. Underweight doesn't kick in until a BMI less than 18.5. So, no, hardly on the cusp of underweight.

    That said, I agree with the OP. I'm 5'5" and look/feel best around 135-140.

    That guideline is a load of BS as it doesn't take into account frames size or muscle mass.

    According to that I should be 110lbs. I would need to lose muscle mass to get to that weight with a safe level of body fat.

    I've seen this "guideline" quotes a few times on mfp. I'd love to know where people are getting it from, my guess is a book that also sells you a diet plan :noway:

    Op go by the mirror and how you feel. Not an arbitrary number. :flowerforyou:
  • turtledove773
    turtledove773 Posts: 122 Member
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    I need some help here...I'm 5'5 and I'm currently at 158lbs, and my goal weight is 145lbs. I just need to vent. I am SO tired of the society telling me that I need to be 120-130 pounds according to my height. I used to suffer so much about this and it got the point where I *almost* had an eating disorder because I was obsessed with being skinny.....until I realized, I will never be what is considered "skinny". The lowest I've been is 130 pounds, and people told me I looked *sick*. My body is naturally very curvy (not chubby, curvy), and at this weight some parts of my body were very skinny while the others remained the way they were meant to be; so I just looked disproportionate and ill. That's why my goal weight isn't even in the 130s. Some of us are just not made to be super skinny and have a gap in our thighs.
    How have you dealt with the pressure society puts on us to look "skinny"??

    I am 5'6 and my goal is 140-145. I don't want to be "Skinny" I want to be fit by replacing that fat with muscle! The heck with society and their misguided views!
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    actually 120-130 for a woman who is 5 ft 5 is on the cusp of being underweight.

    The guideline I've always seen: For a woman, 100 lbs for the first 5', plus 5 lbs. for each additional inch. For a man, 106 lbs. for the first 5', plus 6 lbs. for each additional inch. Don't know how it works for people under 5', or the really tall.

    According to that formula, a woman 5'5" "should" weigh 125 lbs. The BMR for 120-130 is 20 to 21.6. Underweight doesn't kick in until a BMI less than 18.5. So, no, hardly on the cusp of underweight.

    That said, I agree with the OP. I'm 5'5" and look/feel best around 135-140.

    That guideline is a load of BS as it doesn't take into account frames size or muscle mass.

    According to that I should be 110lbs. I would need to lose muscle mass to get to that weight with a safe level of body fat.

    I've seen this "guideline" quotes a few times on mfp. I'd love to know where people are getting it from, my guess is a book that also sells you a diet plan :noway:

    Op go by the mirror and how you feel. Not an arbitrary number. :flowerforyou:

    This is exactly what I was going to say. I've also seen this guideline and from what I can find its not based off of anything factual.

    OP - I am also 5'5 and my goal range is between 140-150lbs although I focus more on how I look than the number. I just know what *I* look like around certain weights. I am pretty lean in that range (my after pic in my profile is around 140lbs). It used to bother me when I saw people who weigh 130 or less at my height but I have accepted that there are variations in body types and for me to weigh around there, I'd have to be very thin and drop muscle which is not what I want. Others look great at that weight. I am quite happy at my goal range.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    What is this society that is telling you that you should be 120...I've never heard of this.
    When people blame things on "society" telling them things, I can only guess that they mean popular media and maybe their friends. I told "society" to eff off a long time ago and I've been happier ever since.
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
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    Although hitting a certain weight seems to be satisfying you don't wear that number. I'd rather be at a higher scale weight and lower body fat % than at a lower scale weight.
  • JacquelineA12
    JacquelineA12 Posts: 3
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    Media seem to have this image that they think we should be!
    They seem to forget that photos are in the press are airbrushed so much that we don't know what is real!!!
    Be confident, healthy and happy with you, not what others seem to think what is right!!!
  • alibee88
    alibee88 Posts: 31
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    I'm not sure what society this is that's telling you to be at the lowest end of the healthy BMI range...

    There is a reason that it's a range! Different people are better suited to be at different points. For example I keep weight almost exclusively in a bundle on my stomach and at a BMI of 25, I'm definitely not at a healthy weight for me. My waist measurement is still pretty massive at that weight, definitely not healthy!! I need to get to a BMI of around 21 before my waist measurement comes down to a "healthy" size

    You should get to know your own body and make your own decisions about your goal weight. If you get to a weight and like it, then stick there. If you get to your goal and don't like it then go a bit lower. I genuinely can't think of who you're getting this pressure from to have a BMI of 18 other than yourself...
  • xCarpeDiemx24
    xCarpeDiemx24 Posts: 39
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    Ignore what society says!! There was a point i was 5"6 and 160lb. According to "society" that is overweight and unhealthy. But as far as i was concerned (and most men were concerned ha) i looked pretty good!!

    I am now 190lb and want to get down to 160-170lb. But I certainly do not plan to go below that.
  • crimsonandclovers
    crimsonandclovers Posts: 35
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    i ignore what others tell me. whether they think i should weigh less or more. i'm doing this for me, if others don't like it, well poor them. i'm going to go for the weight i feel most comfortable at, not the weight they think is appropriate for my height.

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