Today at the gym

Options
24

Replies

  • fitfoutch
    fitfoutch Posts: 25 Member
    Options
    Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.

    I was wondering the same thing. I'm forever in the weight room, and never once has anybody stared at me, or even given me a second glance, other than time my toddler was shouting HI MOMMY!!! a million times from the play structure overlooking the weight room. I think they just wanted me to tell him to hush though....

    I have to ask, are you sure they were staring, or did it just feel like that???
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Options
    I think I'll go back tomorrow

    I have a plan and I know exactly what I need to do, but since I've never used the equipment I'm a bit scared

    Might go when its quieter though..

    this is what i did.

    i was embarrassed to start lifting weights too. i had no clue what i was doing. so i started going at 5:30 am when the gym would first open, so i figured there would be the least amount of people there.

    so it's not just you.

    and btw, i know that when someone walks down the stairs to enter the lifting area, i go to see who it is. it's just what people do. if someone walks into a room, you look to see who it is.
  • 20ever
    20ever Posts: 125 Member
    Options
    Go for it, grunt a little bit, act like you been there before and see what happens.

    Keep it simple.

    Maybe find an experienced partner to work with you?
  • RobP1192
    RobP1192 Posts: 310 Member
    Options
    They turn to look at you, because you're a woman. Because men have testosterone, and get excited at the site of any kind of woman coming into an area with nothing but dudes. Girls at my gym put on the "GYM FACE" or the "MEAN FACE" so they don't get bothered. Some intentionally wear earphones just so they can look consumed and not want to be bothered. Just go in the free weight area and handle your business, and appreciate all your new fans!
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    Options
    Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.

    I am one of only three women that use the free weights section in my gym. At first, when I was in the cross-training room where they keep the kettlebells, wall balls, and oly bars (next to main weight room), guys were walking out when they saw me deadlifting. Now I say things to them like "hi" and they say "hi" back, go about their biz, and ignore me. I realized that I might have been making them a little uncomfortable because they were worried they were making me uncomfortable or they felt like they had accidentally walked into the women's bathroom. I don't know if that's how they felt but I do know the only time I've ever received similar responses from men was when they have walked in on on me in the women's bathroom. The startled looks, etc. ...It's fine now though.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Options
    Do the men at your gyms not ever have women around them the other 22 hrs of the day in their own lives?

    why would they be uncomfortable- they have head phones on- you have yours on. Unless you are wearing a borat/burno thong leotard strappy thing. then staring is game on.

    Other wise . do your home work-
    go to the gym with your plan
    then handle your business.

    Know what you need to do- and go do it. Women are everywhere- we make up what over 50% of the population- no one should ever be shocked when a woman walks into the free weight area.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Options
    nod and smile...and go in with a plan of action so you aren't wandering around looking lost. This isn't a competition, and they're just looking at you because you're a new face. Once you get through the first day, you'll be fine.
    THIS
  • ladyace0007
    ladyace0007 Posts: 47
    Options
    Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill.

    Someone needs to put that idiot out of his misery. I cannot STAND hearing sexist men (or even women!) say that girls shouldn't lift. Hell yes, we should lift! And lift heavy! There's absolutely no reason why a woman can't be as strong or stronger than a man. And as for the people who say that lifting will make you "masculine," if the term "feminine" has come to mean weak, frail, meek, and fragile, just take my name right off that list because I don't want any part of it. For some reason, women have decided they want to be "strong" in every other aspect of their life except fitness! Personally, I want to be mentally AND physically tough as nails.

    As for your problem, the most important thing is to focus on yourself and don't worry about anyone looking at you. Chances are that if you walk up to the bar and grab it like you know what you're doing those guys are going to shrug and get back to their workout. Have a plan when you walk into the gym, get a good pair of headphones, and go to work. And eventually, some of those guys will be giving you compliments on how heavy and awesome you're lifting.

    Don't let ANYONE make you feel like you don't belong there. Think about this: any men who have time to watch what you're doing are having some lazy *kitten* workouts. They're not there to work. They're there to lean on the rack and have social time, so who cares what they think anyway.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    Options
    they looked because you are new, once you go there a few times they will ignore you and continue their workouts.

    more often then not the only time men notice me is when I break a new record or lift heavier then the guy next to me.

    go in with a plan, don't hog the equipment, ask for help if you need ...the big guys are normally the nicest guys you will meet

    most people in the weight room want you to do the workout well (they don't want to witness bad form and the inevitable injury)

    and that PT that told you that weight lifting is not for girls needs to get his certificate taken away, weight lifting is amazing for women...trust me...you can lift a lot more then you think =)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Options
    Don't let ANYONE make you feel like you don't belong there. Think about this: any men who have time to watch what you're doing are having some lazy *kitten* workouts. They're not there to work. They're there to lean on the rack and have social time, so who cares what they think anyway.

    I agree with much- but this.

    I have rest's that are upwards of 5 minutes. I'm sure as hell not taking selfies of my *kitten* the entire time. The cardio room has a different feel/vibe than the weight room. People watching happens in the weight room- it is not indicative of someone that is lazy or has a bad workout- or doesn't work hard.

    it's what people do- they lift- they rest- they watch- they chit chat- then they lift some more. Unless you are super setting/interval training... that's how it goes.
  • kerrirob1
    kerrirob1 Posts: 23 Member
    Options
    I think it might have just been a bad time to go, but I'll go earlier in the morning and hope that its quieter!

    Thanks for all your replies..I know I just have to go and do it but its much easier said than done!

    I've read so many books and watched countless youtube videos on form and read just about every lifting post on this site so I have a good idea of what I should be doing
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Options
    Friday night- Saturday night- sunday night- all good times to go- only die hards - old people-occasionally you get a dillweed trying to get a last minute pump- but most of them come around 5. Gym closes at 10 on friday- go in at like 8 or 9- it's pretty quiet except for the regulars- they won't give you a hard time.
  • KatVarley
    KatVarley Posts: 534 Member
    Options
    Definitely search out another Personal Trainer or even a hospitality clerk (most have on staff to show prospective clients the amenities). Every gym has more than one Personal Trainer and there must be one that is not so arrogant. You want someone you feel comfortable asking the simplest questions of. I would probably want to remind Management that their staff is there to motivate and keep their patrons safe while using their equipment and facilities. Enjoy the gym - your membership $$ is as good as the next "guy".
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Options
    I would recommend this, if you're intimidated. Go for a week at a weird, less busy time. Learn about the equipment, get used to using it. After a week, go when it's busy. You'll likely feel more comfortable now that you've already been using the equipment and have probably gotten to know 1 or 2 people by now.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
    Options
    Friday night- Saturday night- sunday night- all good times to go- only die hards - old people-occasionally you get a dillweed trying to get a last minute pump- but most of them come around 5. Gym closes at 10 on friday- go in at like 8 or 9- it's pretty quiet except for the regulars- they won't give you a hard time.

    Absolutely true. The people in a gym on a Friday / Saturday night are not there to flex in the mirror. Those are the true iron heads. There will almost certainly be a few women in the mix as well. More often than not they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet.
  • kerrirob1
    kerrirob1 Posts: 23 Member
    Options
    Thats my plan! its open 24hours and the website has a gym usage chart so I can see when its likely to be quieter. I went at one of the times its meant to be quieter today but it was still packed!

    I'll just go super early.
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,396 Member
    Options
    You probably just look uncomfortable and lost. If you confidently walked in and started setting weights they wouldn't care, at most talk to you. I don't think they were being sexist or anything so don't be mean, and it's just the vibe they got from you, they can't possibly be in the gym at all times so they can't tell if you are new there or not.

    No. All the no in the world. She's allowed to look uncomfortable and lost. Most of them men in there are uncomfortable and lost. Most of the men who women think are staring at them are staring at pretty much anyone just to see if they can learn something. Everyone really needs to get over this remedial idea that simply by virtue of having a penis someone is an expert on weight training, and that the lack of said penis means you are clueless. This mindset not only prevents women from doing things that are pretty awesome for their bodies, but it causes a lot of men to start training, have zero progress or injure themselves, and then give up because they are too ashamed to ask for help. Half of the smartest lifters I've ever met were women. I've learned just as much over the years from women as I have from men. All of this nonsense from both sides needs to stop. It's a ****ing gym for crying out loud. It's good for everyone. Everyone belongs there. Unless you are using the squat rack when I want to use it. Then I don't care if you are a man or a woman, you need to go play on an elliptical now.

    Totally this! I see almost as many women as men in the free weight area and this morning I saw a couple of men with that "not sure what I'm doing" look on their face. And luckily the squat rack opened up right when I needed it!

    It probably is the new face thing. I'm there so much I sure know who the regulars are both male and female so a new face makes me look twice.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,520 Member
    Options
    I'm just gonna put this out there...are you sure they were really staring or maybe you were being self-conscious too? People are going to look in the direction of movement. Maybe they did look, but I'm sure they didn't care that much. Or maybe they think you are hot, so they were just looking to look (I tell myself this ALL of the time).

    I do second the idea of getting a trainer to show you how to do what you want to do. This way, you'll be more confident that you know what you are doing. I think this will help to get over the feelings of being self-conscious, and help you focus on yourself.

    I was the only woman in the weight room today while I was there. I had to wait for a bench...then when 1 opened up, I had to quickly grab one between 2 sweaty guys. I didn't notice if they noticed, b/c I wasn't looking at them. I was looking at the bench and the weights I wanted.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    Options
    I just started weight lifting last week and at the moment I only go to do my program when its really quiet, until I get confident then I don't think I'll mind so much :)


    Good luck
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Options
    I'll tell you, the gym at work has half covered windows, an uncovered door and two uncovered windows framing it. I felt extremely awkward getting all sweaty when dozens of people are walking by and looking in, but after 2-3 times, I came to the conclusion that at least I was doing something! Now I nod my head and wave when they walk by.

Categories