Sometimes the hot guy DOES choose the big girl!

So this is my first post (I believe).. I have been on here a while just lurking.. Gaining knowledge as well as laughs. I wanted to share my experiences, because ive seen allot of posts about negatives. So I met my now boyfriend/best friend about 2 1/2 years ago.. We were set up on a blind date. When I first saw him I was confused.. He was 6'3, blonde hair, blue eyes.. He was pretty much my fantasy man in real life.. I was confused because this was not what a blind date should look like.. Actually I was what a blind date should look like, haha.. Short, chubby, and awkward.. Well it was one of the best dates of my life.. We sat there till closing talking and laughing, then we sat out side after closing talking.. He even took me on his bank run so the night didnt end just yet! I was convinced I had hit gold! So needless to say I was a tad disappointed when he called the next day telling me this : "youre a great woman, and I hate that I have to say it.. But Im just not feeling it.. But I do want to be friends, and I really mean that.." I didnt get it! We hit it off so well! (I hadnt even thought about my weight.. I was either naive, dumb, or confident enough to not think about it..) I bowed out like a woman though, and remained his friend..
And friends we were! We hung out EVERY weekend.. We texted all the time.. So much that he had to upgrade his phone plan.. HAHA! We remained friends for a year.. We really grew to care for eachother. This entire time I didnt ask or ponder why he wasnt with me, I just knew he should be with me. Finally the day came that changed everything for us.. We were growing so close.. We made a plan to just cuddle.. We were both single, lonely.. and I googled it so We were confident friends could cuddle :-P We watched a movie.. We cuddled.. And Google was really off on this one.. We messed around.. Just made out.. But it changed us.

After some struggle on his part we decided to become bf and gf.. It was the best relationship of my life.. I looked at him and I looked at me, and I wondered though.. What others thought, what he thought.. I finally asked him.. I maybe shouldnt have.. It almost destroyed us. He told me it was my weight, that he just wasnt sexually attracted to me.. but he loved me, and that was all that mattered to him.. Thats sweet, but realistically it wasnt a welcomed save. ( I mean we had made love! He had never made me feel ugly, or unwanted..whaaaa?)This was a dark time.. Allot of me leaving and him chasing.. Allot of anger, and tears, and embarrassment.. I even stooped as low as finding his ex on Facebook just to see what he was used to.. Seeing a 5'6 knockout wasnt exactly a mood enhancer! So I struggled.. For the first time in life I felt unsexy, and FAT.. I used to be slim.. Before the depo and life happened..

Anyways, he never asked me to lose weight, even though he had lost over 200 pounds himself! (yes.. he used to be BIG)
And he tried his hardest to make up for the fact that he felt a way he couldnt control. Everyone around me (that was close enough to me for me to share this) was saying dump him ( Some of you may even be thinking that) At this time we were 6 months into our relationship, I had no plans to lose any weight (even though i was about 100 overweight!) Why should I? I was loved and accepted for who I was.. So what I felt something was missing?! I had what SO MANY want!

Fast forward to about 4 months ago.. Life has been great.. I had the best man anyone could ask for.. I was treated like a queen! But I couldnt ignore certain nagging moments.. Like him never checking me out.. And him trying so hard not to check out hot slender girls while out with me.. I decided one day that enough was enough.. I had the best relationship I could even hope for and I wasnt allowing myself to fully enjoy it out of personal reasons.. At the beginning of my weight loss path.. I was sure I was setting myself up for pain.. I mean, how could I be ok with him finding my slim body hot, but my fat body..NOT I quickly threw those thoughts away because he HAS been with my fat body, and hes loved me, and supported my no matter what.. There was no reason to think Id somehow be "better" in his eyes..

I started attacking my calories.. I was sick when I realized how much I was shoveling in.. In fact I was shocked I wasnt bigger! Then I simply got up off my a** and stopped reading all day.. I started biking EVERYWHERE! To his house (exactly 2 miles one way) Then to the store.. Then to the trail.. He was beyond supportive.. He biked with me.. He bought turkey bacon, and healthy foods for his house.. So while I was there I wouldnt have problems eating whatever I wanted or needed.. He even switched to wheat bread with me! (still not giving up his dew though lol! :-P ) He started to tell me how much weight I looked like I was losing (even when the scale wasnt moving, those days he really helped me)

So, now Im 31 pounds down in only 3 months.. And things are slowly shifting.. Since im only 5'1 the weight loss really shows now.. Im down almost 2 sizes.. (2 full sizes on a good day!) He is checking ME out when I walk by.. He is telling ME Im sexy out of the blew when im doing something random.. And hes proud of me, because I DIDNT make this about him.. I made it about ME feeling better, and being healthy! I have never tried to lose weight, but I know I can and will do it.. Im a very driven person once I set a goal. I was once big and proud, now Im fit and fab! And I have the love of a man that I KNOW loves me.. I wanted to share this to show you that sometimes a person crushing you can save you.. And that there ARE good men out there!! Be true, love you, and do good where ever you go..
Peace Loves! Keep it up, whether your goal is gaining, losing, or just feeling good.. KEEP IT UP! (sorry for any typos!)