A cry for help!

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3rianna
3rianna Posts: 5 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Good Morning Pals! I'm relatively new to myfitnesspal.com and have been loayling logging on for the past month of two and had ups and downs as most people do. I thought for sure that I would start to see some changes in my weight, however after a recent trip to the DR I was shocked to learn that I had gained 10 lbs since the last time I was in (about 4 months ago). I left the DR feeling much worse morally then when I went in. You see, weight has been a struggle for me my entire life. I have been on a diet since I can remember and have done pretty much everything but as with most things it's ups and downs. My family I'm convinced has the fat gene and we tend to be eaters in general. We all love food and for some reason can't ever seem to keep our weight in check without serious measures. I refuse to turn into my mother who is beyond morbidly obese and not stopping to make any changes. I ask her all the time if it bothers her that she can no longer participate in activities in life that she loves, such as dancing or going to a theme park and riding the rides. She says yes, but yet seems to make no changes. Personally, it kills me if I find myself denying fun/activities because of my weight. I hate shopping in the big girl stores/section and that my fashion choices are based off of what will hide the fat and make me appear slimmer. I hate that I will no longer ride rollercoasters unless I'm 100% sure that I will fit in the seat and not have to ever risk the embarrassment of not being able to fit. (it happened once about 6/7 years ago at Six Flags and I cried so hard as my friends got to ride the ride that I talked them into getting on with me, without me. )

In any case, as most people that struggle with weight loss i'm desperate to do anything. i'm a generally active person and really don't eat as terrible as the stereotypes would lead you to believe. So my rooommate comes home the other day and talks me into this crazy diet, called the rice diet. I had no room to argue with her since she's done crazy things with me in the past. Granted she weighs all of 120 lbs and is hoping to drop 10lbs quickly as she is a dancer and feels that she isn't dancing as well as she used to when she was 10lbs' thinner. God I wish that was my issue! She doesn't understand why I'm not running at this diet with open arms and why I'm being such a debbie downer when it's time to discuss our diet plans and goals. But it's really hard for me to start something such as a crash diet when I know the almost certain outcome of the gain backs and the overall shock to your system.

I want to someday have bariatric surgery because at this point my weight is to a point that it's out of control. For example, I was walking with my two best friends in the store last night and watched as they lightly and with no fear jumped onto the Publix scale to see what sort of damage they'd done over the Thanksgiving break. I had the scary realization that I weigh more than their weight combined at this point and I don't seem to be slowing down. (120+130=250) And I'm beyond that at this point.

This is my plee/cry smoke signal for help...I'm open to any and all suggestions and thoughts and realize that at this point it's not just a diet or the idea of just dropping the quick 10lbs' but that it's a life or death matter. What's a life worth living if you aren't really living at all? Being morbidly obese and no longer participating in activities you love or being placed in a disgusting stereotype are no longer things that I will allow to haunt me and overcast what God has in store for me. And let's face it being this size I'm not putting myself in the running or even on the map to accomplish things that I 've dreamed of my whole life, such as being a mother, a wife.

I find all of your stories to be so motivating and sometimes a little strange. I know that everyone will lose and gain differently. I also know that there has to be a sense of urgency to cure obesity otherwise we are all going nowhere fast. This is bigger than asking someone to put down the Big Mac (which I haven't eaten since God knows when <--I'm practically a vegetarian and thinking of seriously crossing over, but that's another issue for another time). I'll keep you all updated with my rice diet adventures and let you know if it does the miracles that it claims or if it is simply just another fad diet that I can add to my list.

Thank you....

Replies

  • jewelzz
    jewelzz Posts: 326 Member
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    Dont give up!!I to at one point weighed 250 pounds,that was 10 yrs ago,and dropped 130 of it on my own.when you reach the point
    where enough is enough you to will drop the pounds.first try to figure out why you eat and what is the emotional attachment to it.keep your head up!!
  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
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    Welcome to MFP! Sounds like you're really ready to make some changes in your life and start working on becoming healthy. Although I know some people use bariatric surgery as a weight loss tool, I HIGHLY encourage you to try without it, for a good period of time, before resorting to such a drastic tool. You can do this! There are so many people on MFP whose story is similar to yours, and who have lost weight by eating healthy and exercising - nothing more, nothing less (check out this recenty story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/mike/view/another-mfp-er-on-the-today-show-49774 ). Start out slow... it won't get better overnight. A few steps to start with - they're pretty general.

    1) Track EVERYTHING you eat/drink - you may not realize how many calories you are consuming. Work on eating the calories recommended by MFP. Eat at least some of your exercise calories - which are added to your daily goal. Slowly work on ditching processed food at eating mostly high quality protein, veggies, fruit, beans, nuts, etc.
    2) Drink lots of water - I lose weight and feel better when I drink plenty of water!
    3) track your sodium - this is one of the biggest triggers for water-weight for many people - I have a much easier time losing weight and feeling good overall when I keep my sodium low
    4) Try to work exercise in slowly - it can be a walk around the block, join a gym - whatever it takes for you to find something you enjoy and can keep you active. You may be a fairly active person, but regularly engaging in exercise for exercise's sake (versus casual activity like walking around a mall) can make a HUGE difference.
  • nubreeze33
    nubreeze33 Posts: 270
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    DON'T GIVE UP SIS! PRAY! PRAY ! PRAY!
  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
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    Welcome to MFP!

    Sorry that you've been here for months and are gaining. Not sure if your food diary is open to your friends, but some members find the feedback of other members helpful. If you're logging everything (absolutely EVERYTHING) and staying within your calories, you shouldn't be gaining...

    Wanting to live your life without the burden of being overweight is a great motivator, but only if it's more motivating that giving up food as comfort. You wrote that your Mom is not willing to change even though she's upset about her weight preventing her from enjoying life. I've been in her position and can tell you that I was unable to give up the comfort food gave me. Even though the comfort was only momentary and had WAY more consequences (being obese, for one) I was still unable to give it up. Until I stopped hating myself and accepted myself 100%, I was unable to give up food as comfort. I had to look in the mirror at my heaviest and absolutely LOVE everything about me before I was able to give up food as comfort and start this journey.

    You seem to be in the same boat as me (and your mother). From what you've said, your weight is preventing you from doing things you enjoy yet you're not slowing down. Clearly you want (as I did) whatever it is that food does for you MORE than you want to let go of the weight.

    The book Women, Food and God helped me learn WHY I was reaching for food when I wasn't hungry and gave me the tools to stop. I can not recommend this book highly enough.

    We're here for you every step of your journey. You can do this!!!

    Charmagne
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
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    There are no miracles or quick fixes, or "jump starts" to losing weight. It is simple pure math.
    I joined MFP November 2009 but didn't get serious and dedicated to my health until mid May 2010. I've lost 45 pounds in 6 months now. It took me the first 6 months being on MFP to faithfully log in each day and learn how to eat properly, how to cook properly, and how much I was allowed.
    You need to retrain yourself just like I did. I lost about 5 pounds during my first 6 months only, but gained a wealth of knowledge so I could use that to make improvements.
    Everyday get up and repeat the following: I create myself with the choices I make each day!

    Every little choice you make in your food intake and activity level with either get you to your goal, or farther away from it. I can be dedicated all week but eat poorly one meal and gain back every ounce I worked hard to lose that week. This takes 100% commitment, every minute of every day.

    You have to come to the point where you want it . . . I mean want it with every ounce of your being . . . that is the only thing that ultimately works, your constant dedication to improve your health, every minute of every day. Once you have this "lightbulb" moment nothing can stop you from reaching your goal.

    Good luck.
  • 3rianna
    3rianna Posts: 5 Member
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    Thank you and I know that nothing that's worth having is a easy. I didn't really think anyone would read this but I'm shocked at home many people have reached out. I generally try to get in a good cardio workout at least 2 times a week and amping up for at least 4-5.

    I have heard the many pros and cons to bariatric surgery, the only reason that I seem to cling to it so much is that I know that weight is a constant issue genetically and know that without some sort of assistance beyond myself I won't ever reach my goal since my body seems to just hold on extra tight to the fat. However, since bariatric surgery is extreme and has complications I know that the best solution and for now the only solution because of finances is to do this naturally with sweat, tears and getting up everyday and making it better than before.

    Thank you again for the motivation.

    Brianna
  • FoamyRiver
    FoamyRiver Posts: 276 Member
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    First of all, I don't know anything about this Rice Diet your roommate wants the two of you to do, but it sounds like a complete disaster. Your body needs some protein and fat and carbs, etc. I think if you only eat rice your body is going to do nothing but turn it all into fat and make you feel even more sluggish.
    I do, however, feel that you are in the right place to start your LIFESTYLE CHANGE. You don't need another diet, you need a lifestyle change. My advice is to take it slow. Start out just by logging everything you eat. When I first started I thought I was a healthy eater. I really had no idea how many calories I was really consuming in a day. After the first few days I was already being more conscientious about my food decisions.
    I believe you'll also feel better if you move around some; go walking, dance with your roommate, do jumping jacks or jump rope.
    And lastly, do you have your own scales? If not, I recommend getting some and then disregard the scales at the Drs office. I weigh myself every morning so I know what I weigh (according to my scales) and I don't let it get me down when my Drs scales say I weigh 5 pounds more. The next time you go to the Dr you will have lost that weight you gained since your previous visit and he/she will be so proud of you! And even better, you'll be proud of yourself!
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    My starting weight was 255lb. I have lost 75 than gained back 20, but I know I will get down to my goal of 150lbs.
    I don't know what a rice diet is but I would stay away from anything that is really restrictive. You do not need to starve your body to lose weight. You just need to make sensible choices and have an active lifestyle. A diet that is too restrictive will be to hard to stick too and likely lacks the nutrition your body needs. Not to mention you will probably gain the weight back once you go off of it. I would recommend tracking your calories (and if you are comfortable making your food diary public to get some feedback from the people on here who have had longterm success) and it wouldn't hurt to see your doctor to ensure there aren't other medical issues preventing you from losing weight.

    I also want to point out that less is not more. It is a misconception that you need to starve yourself to lose weight. Your body needs fuel. If you don't eat enough your metabolism will slow down. If you have been undereating and then recently have increased your intake (even if it is healthy food) you will gain weight. However, that being said, if you are now eating an appropriate amount of healthy food the weight gain will be temporary. Your metabolism will bounce back and you will start to lose weight and it will be sustainable.

    Good luck and don't give up. There are a lot of people on here who have been in a similar situation. You can do this!
  • JAGWIRE13579
    JAGWIRE13579 Posts: 63
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    I can really relate to your story. I have dealt with almost the exact same issues but I'm a lot older than you so it's been going on even longer. I wish I could paint a rosey success story for you to motivate you but I can't.
    I can tell you there is no magic diet, pill or surgery I have tried them all. I had gastric band surgery about 8 years ago and initially lost weight from all the vomiting I did ( because of the band) but I put it all back on. My lowest weight was 220lbs with the band down from 280. I know some people who had slightly more success than me but not the drastic loss I expected.
    I would discourage you from comparing yourself to your room mate no good can come from that. But on the other hand, I firmly believe anyone can lose weight by watching calories and increasing activity. Stay away from the crazy diets, you may lose a few pounds rapidly but it will come back.
    You have taken the first step by wanting to live a healthier life. I think the support on this web site will help if you don't have people in your life to help you. Be Strong!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,023 Member
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    Dont give up, you need to view this as a lifestyle not another diet.
    1. drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
    2. log in everything that goes in your mouth
    3. start small with exercise. I would suggest getting a pedometer and start with 6,000 steps a day and try to increase it slowly until you get to 10,000 steps a day
    4. make your food diary public, it makes you more accountable
    5. Most importantly dont give up, just keep at it.....
    6. and come here often for support
  • TammieOwen
    TammieOwen Posts: 54
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    Hi Rianna

    I am running a weight loss changallange right now and I could give you some of the handouts and information that I give my group, if you are interested.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Thanks for sharing your story hun.

    I know you won't beleive this, but that 10lbs you put on is probably just a reaction to eating better. I've read so many stories about obese people who dont eat much but then as they come on here, start to eat properly again, they gain weight. This is perfectly normal and is getting to grips with starting your metabolism again! This is a GOOD thing, but it may take a while to adjust.

    Whatever you do, DON'T go on this fad rice diet!!!! It's the low cal diet fads that will slow your metabolism even more!!

    To lose weight, you have to EAT!!

    Please search the forum for stores about this. It's a subject that has come up a few times.

    Kick the fads hun. The ONLY way to do this is to eat properly, eat less than you burn, and move more!!

    You can DO this!! Start by sticking to the calorie allowance MFP give you. Then eat some exercise cals. Like I said, it may take a while to stoke your metabolism again, but eventually, it WILL restart by eating and exercising. That's the ONLY way! Don't listen to the skinny dancers with a high metabolism, you are a different body with different needs hun.

    I really hope you research this problem and act upon it.

    All the best :flowerforyou:
  • Shaun82
    Shaun82 Posts: 2
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    It's my understanding that things are a bit different for guys than they are for girls with regard to weight loss, but I empathize with your story so I figured I'd tell you mine.

    I am 6'1". Median healthy weight for me is 165 lbs.

    In high school, I weighed around 145 lbs. My skinniness was the subject of jokes.

    In college, I jumped to 185 lbs. The "Freshman 15" was the "Freshman 40" for me. My food intake didn't really increase, but the food I ate was much less healthy. Think "pizza every day for a week" unhealthy.

    While in college, I entered a period of lethargy and eating really bad food that was somewhat instigated by a relationship that caused both of us to become anti-social. At my peak, I was around 235 lbs. During this time, I drank regular soda, ate lots of fatty Italian food.

    When that relationship ended, I took stock of my situation and was not pleased with what had happened. I switched to diet sodas (which I had sworn I would never do), 2% milk, and overall just alternatives to the bad-for-me food I'd eaten in the past. That plus jogging a few times a week got me back down to 200 lbs, where I plateaued.

    I stayed at 190 for years, but recently lamented that I was still well above my healthy weight. That's when I joined this site. My practice of healthy alternatives changed to entirely different meals designed to keep me full (protein and fiber) while not flooding me with calories. I drink mostly water now and use skim milk in everything.

    To be honest, I don't feel like I've sacrificed that much. I still eat out but I'm able to find healthy alternatives that I like without feeling like I'm eating something that's just a pile of foliage. It was kind of annoying at first, but now I can walk into all the restaurants I frequent and immediately order something I know will keep me within my calorie budget.

    Exercise will help a good bit as well (I did start running regularly for a while), but for me the biggest thing was just using MyFitnessPal to count my calories. Counting your calories alone will show you just how much extra you eat in a day that you don't really need. I was surprised when I learned how many calories I had been eating, how many my body needs to maintain weight, and how many I should eat to lose 1.5 lbs a week.

    I started using MyFitnessPal to count calories on September 15th at 198 lbs. As of today, I weighed in at 170.3 lbs. I've 5.3 more pounds to go until I hit my goal weight. At that point, I'll need to do some toning since I'll still have some love handles in a few places, but for the most part the process of shedding 70 lbs to get back to my ideal weight will be over.

    It won't be completely easy. I mean, the entire process of reducing calories to lose weight means you're effectively starving yourself to a small degree. Also, keep in mind that you need to do it in a healthy way. There comes a point where, if you eat too few calories, your body triggers starvation instincts and it's actually *harder* to lose weight. MyFitnessPal does a good job of making sure you don't do that as long as you stick to the plan.

    Keep in mind that if you set MyFitnessPal to lose 2 lbs a week and you go over a little in calories in one day, it's not the end of the world. In the end, you'll still lose weight that day. As for weighing in, do it once every week. Your body fluctuates in terms of amount of water in it, so sometimes it can be unnecessarily discouraging to weigh in every day to see that you gained a little weight despite sticking to the schedule.

    Exercise is a good way to allow you to treat yourself to snack foods that you'd otherwise omit. When you exercise, you need to make sure you eat more that day to make up for the calories burned so that you hit your target number in MyFitnessPal. Otherwise, you risk triggering starvation mode.

    It's not something that will happen overnight and it will take some willpower, but if you're as serious about losing the weight as you sound, it'll happen. Just stick to it, and good luck!
  • crissi66
    crissi66 Posts: 98
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    I thought i wasnt that bad diet wise either until i started using this site and realized that my diet was a total crap shoot! I started religiously counting my calories and reading every label available. I joined a gym and started going 2 nites a week and slowly worked my way up to 5 days. I have lost 17 lbs since joining and using this site and 20lbs all together. Being sorta active is different than going to the gym or working out with a purpose. I unfortunetly learned this lesson myself, diet and exercise for most of us is a life long commitment. When your ready to make a serious and hard change you will make it.
  • 3rianna
    3rianna Posts: 5 Member
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    Thank you all again for your kind words and tough love. I know that there is areas where I can improve. I promised my roommate that I'd do the rice diet with her for this week. But after this I think that I will go back to doing the regular calorie counting and working out routine and really holding myself accountable. I can no longer make exceptions or let the weekend and others choices influence me to eat whatever. I'm not 120lbs and don't have the metabolism of my small/petite friends. I know that one big trigger that is going to give me the biggest challenge is learning when to say when.
  • susu5
    susu5 Posts: 122
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    I am a grandmother of 61 years of age who needs to lose 100 pounds!!! I work 40 hours plus a week with people with disabilities but do sit quite a bit due to having paperwork! I began counting my calories here about a month ago but I kind of dropped it until now. I want to get this weight off for good. I want to be healthy and I use to love to walk and was a role model for my grand daughters but they are now a role model for me. (13 and 15 years old). I have been huffing and puffing when going up stairs, which has concerned me. I also shop in the "large women's sections" and would love to buy in the "misses" sections. I have been sooo tired but I have been to the doctor and it is "just the weight". Colesterol-heart-etc. are fine. I also tend to get " down on myself" and feel that I could do better if I had more "will power". I liked the motto, "I create myself with the choices I make each day". I read that here this morning. I want this to be an asset for me. I want to feel empowered gain!!! Sooo here I go on another journey!!!!
  • brittlynne3579
    brittlynne3579 Posts: 217 Member
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    You are very brave for posting your most private thoughts and we are ALL here for you!!!

    I'm glad you're noticing the pros and cons of the surgery because my aunt and uncle both had it. While my aunt's was a success, my uncle has lost only about 8 lbs in the last year since having it. The both also have a difficult time eating breads, wheat and yeast-based foods and lettuce. This has caused them both to have ulcers from the vomitting while adjusting.

    That being said it is your decision and I wish you all the luck. If you feel overwhelmed try searcing the message boards for small groups of people who have 100 lbs or more to lose (or however much your goal is). Also, try searching the board for the surgery topic because I know I've seen some really informative things on there.

    Good luck and know you're taking the right steps just by being here!
  • fstinchcomb
    fstinchcomb Posts: 2
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    Rianna and Susu,
    Each of you needs to start slow and steady....start with making a goal on Sunday for your week. Examples like I will work out at least 3 times this week at moderate pace or I will incorporate a fruit into 1 meal a day or I will run/walk at least 3 miles this week. Most fail because they go gung-ho at it from the beginning instead of learning what works for them. Each week make your goal a little further out.....this makes you accountable to your own goals but doesn't overwhelm you all at once. Remember that we didn't gain this weight in one day, so it won't come off in one day....little goals are key and always, always celebrate them!! My sister, mom and I always set a goal and if we all hit them each week, we get together at the end of the month for a well deserved mani/pedi!

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