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Frustrated with nonMFP people!!!
Shelley6591
Posts: 156 Member
So where I work EVERYONE is super skinny and eats and drinks non stop but few have kids and all work out like crazy! I have lost close to 60 pounds over the last year and have completely changed my mindset and plan to keep going, this is who I am now. I am told often how great I look by coworkers but the fact that I get teased all the time because no one wants to work with me because I never want to eat out or have treats is getting old. Lately people are choosing to work in our other office when they can and make a big day of it and eat all day long... the constant digs are annoying...is food really that big of a deal?!
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Replies
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I'm one of those strage eaters also; I'm always asked "do you ever cheat?" I till them I'm brain washed now, this is my life style. As long as you are happy with youself there should be no worries what others think!0
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Eating together is one of the main bonding experiences, so yes. It is.
I'm rather introverted, so these kinds of things are a pain in the rear for me for different reasons. I make myself go anyway because it's important to bond with the people I work with.0 -
...is food really that big of a deal?!
Communal eating is a cornerstone of human culture. Always has been, probably always will be.0 -
Are you sure that's how it's going or is that how you perceive it to be?0
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Shelley,
It may be annoying but I wouldn't let it get to me. Where I work I get jabs about my eating choices and I'm not a health nut but eat good food and don't go in for all the junk folks eat at work. Although, just the opposite of your situation, most are overweight and not too healthy which I have found amusing since you would think one wouldn't make fun of one's eating and fitness habits if one was very out of shape.
Having said that, in the long run they will have to pay the consequences for their poor eating habits. And just something to think about because I could be wrong, so it's just my opinion: Maybe, just maybe they make fun of your healthy choices because they feel a bit guilty about their poor choices. Think about it. You've lost 60 pounds by your choices and they have gained nothing for theirs. You're doing great! Keep it up. And yes, food is really too important for many people and it's all they think about.0 -
I know it's a bonding thing but now they don't even ask me to go. Maybe they're afraid they might sabotage me or maybe they don't want me to feel uncomfortable either way, it's annoying. I can make my own decisions right?0
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Are you sure that's how it's going or is that how you perceive it to be?
Maybe it's nothing but sitting in the office all day totally alone while the others are in the other one stuffing their faces makes me feel this way.0 -
I know it's a bonding thing but now they don't even ask me to go.
If you've turned down too many invitations, they're probably just tired of being rejected.0 -
So where I work EVERYONE is super skinny and eats and drinks non stop but few have kids and all work out like crazy! I have lost close to 60 pounds over the last year and have completely changed my mindset and plan to keep going, this is who I am now. I am told often how great I look by coworkers but the fact that I get teased all the time because no one wants to work with me because I never want to eat out or have treats is getting old. Lately people are choosing to work in our other office when they can and make a big day of it and eat all day long... the constant digs are annoying...is food really that big of a deal?!
It is a social thing; is there a way for you to participate without messing up your lifestyle? Go out and order salad or other healthy options. I used to have a co-worker who brought a dozen donuts into the office every Friday. I started bringing 2 bags of apples into the office every Monday. After a while I realized that not sometimes, the apples went faster than the donuts. I didn't make a big deal of it (took people months to figure out who was bringing them in), but I got to play in the office games while maintaining my chosen healthy lifestyle. Many of the folks in my office were also young and fit, but they still liked apples.0 -
I know it's a bonding thing but now they don't even ask me to go. Maybe they're afraid they might sabotage me or maybe they don't want me to feel uncomfortable either way, it's annoying. I can make my own decisions right?
Why can't you go? Isn't there something you can order that is somewhat healthy?0 -
Eating and socializing isn't one of North Americas shining accomplishments, it's actually been degrading from one generation to the next.0
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I know it's a bonding thing but now they don't even ask me to go. Maybe they're afraid they might sabotage me or maybe they don't want me to feel uncomfortable either way, it's annoying. I can make my own decisions right?
Could be. Tell them "I want to go with you guys next time".0 -
That's the thing, I've never turned them down because they never asked since I started losing. They make the decision for me... I think they believe they are doing me a favour but it's ticking me off now.0
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Shelley,
It may be annoying but I wouldn't let it get to me. Where I work I get jabs about my eating choices and I'm not a health nut but eat good food and don't go in for all the junk folks eat at work. Although, just the opposite of your situation, most are overweight and not too healthy which I have found amusing since you would think one wouldn't make fun of one's eating and fitness habits if one was very out of shape.
Having said that, in the long run they will have to pay the consequences for their poor eating habits. And just something to think about because I could be wrong, so it's just my opinion: Maybe, just maybe they make fun of your healthy choices because they feel a bit guilty about their poor choices. Think about it. You've lost 60 pounds by your choices and they have gained nothing for theirs. You're doing great! Keep it up. And yes, food is really too important for many people and it's all they think about.
True they did tell me they wish they had my determination and will power...0 -
Are you sure that's how it's going or is that how you perceive it to be?
this is a good question.
people love treats and eating out. it's just......enjoyable.
why have you taken those things off the table?
they don't ask you to go because THEY probably get annoyed when you say no all the time. cant you just go and get something that fits in your day? if you cant, then you have deeper issues to deal with.
you say you make your own decisions.
you're right.
why not give it a shot? join them and make good decisions if youre worried about it.
EDIT: ok, i think i understand more clearly now...i thought they had asked and you said no multiple times.
this is an easy one then....
just approach them and say "guize...lemme come to lunch with you"
you can even do it in a joking way to lighten it up a bit...
"i know i eat pretty healthy, but i DO eat, and i'd love to come to the restaurant brainstorms" (or something)
communicate.0 -
So where I work EVERYONE is super skinny and eats and drinks non stop but few have kids and all work out like crazy! I have lost close to 60 pounds over the last year and have completely changed my mindset and plan to keep going, this is who I am now. I am told often how great I look by coworkers but the fact that I get teased all the time because no one wants to work with me because I never want to eat out or have treats is getting old. Lately people are choosing to work in our other office when they can and make a big day of it and eat all day long... the constant digs are annoying...is food really that big of a deal?!
It is a social thing; is there a way for you to participate without messing up your lifestyle? Go out and order salad or other healthy options. I used to have a co-worker who brought a dozen donuts into the office every Friday. I started bringing 2 bags of apples into the office every Monday. After a while I realized that not sometimes, the apples went faster than the donuts. I didn't make a big deal of it (took people months to figure out who was bringing them in), but I got to play in the office games while maintaining my chosen healthy lifestyle. Many of the folks in my office were also young and fit, but they still liked apples.
this^^^ My team at work constantly has something on - ordering in , celebrating a birthday... Sincve i'm dieting i can't (more won't - i always could and have a bad day) eat much of the items. My office is on another flor so I'm not constantly barraged with all the snack food. When they go out I will go and just eat small quantities (usually we go for Dim Sum or Chinese since the boss is Chinese and he pays) . the trick is just participating with the group - they really don't care about what you eat it's just bonding0 -
That's the thing, I've never turned them down because they never asked since I started losing. They make the decision for me... I think they believe they are doing me a favour but it's ticking me off now.
Invite yourself if it's a casual post work thing - you might be right they may be trying to "help"0 -
you could challenge them: say something like my caolorie goal for lunch is ______ can you find a restaurant/or meal we can enjoy that would fit into it. If they don't know what you are up to it might be hard for them to understand it. Also at these times remind them of how hard you have worked and progress you made and that this is important to you, sounds like they are trying to be friendly so a friendly reminder might go a long way for yall.0
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just approach them and say "guize...lemme come to lunch with you"
you can even do it in a joking way to lighten it up a bit...
"i know i eat pretty healthy, but i DO eat, and i'd love to come to the restaurant brainstorms" (or something)
i like this approach
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Like I said, I've never said No... they just assume I will... maybe they're afraid that by inviting me to overindulge I will go off the rails and they don't want to be responsible lol!0
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So where I work EVERYONE is super skinny and eats and drinks non stop but few have kids and all work out like crazy! I have lost close to 60 pounds over the last year and have completely changed my mindset and plan to keep going, this is who I am now. I am told often how great I look by coworkers but the fact that I get teased all the time because no one wants to work with me because I never want to eat out or have treats is getting old. Lately people are choosing to work in our other office when they can and make a big day of it and eat all day long... the constant digs are annoying...is food really that big of a deal?!
I don't really understand what the problem is. If it really bothers you that much eat what they eat during the day.......and then don't eat anymore. Or....You could decide you don't really care what other people think.0 -
Are you sure that's how it's going or is that how you perceive it to be?
Maybe it's nothing but sitting in the office all day totally alone while the others are in the other one stuffing their faces makes me feel this way.
when you say no all the time....then they already know your answer.
maybe shake it up and say yes next time and have something that fits your macros.0 -
That's the thing, I've never turned them down because they never asked since I started losing. They make the decision for me... I think they believe they are doing me a favour but it's ticking me off now.
That doesn't sound consistent with your earlier statement..."...no one wants to work with me because I never want to eat out..."
If you aren't turning them down because they aren't asking, how would they know you "never want to eat out"?
Seems to me they're getting a solid "don't ask me!" signal from you.0 -
Like I said, I've never said No... they just assume I will... maybe they're afraid that by inviting me to overindulge I will go off the rails and they don't want to be responsible lol!
sorry misunderstood the problem-
yep sounds like you need to suggest a restaurant or bring in a big batch of something you like to eat and share and invite them into "your world" they are just scared of you because you are "different" ( i don't mean that in a mean way just that they can't relate)0 -
That's the thing, I've never turned them down because they never asked since I started losing. They make the decision for me... I think they believe they are doing me a favour but it's ticking me off now.
Maybe they don't want to affect your amazing habit changes or tempt you with their decisions to go out. You should definitely approach them instead of letting it fester within you. If they're just being rude and not inviting you, why would you want to spend time with them anyway!? Keep up the good work!0 -
...is food really that big of a deal?!
Some people have no issues with food and eating as a group is an age old form of bonding and can be a great thing. So yes, to many it is a big deal.. Im in the same boat as you.. I need to lose weight and to reign myself in so I miss out on some of the outings/potlucks at work because I cant do it RIGHT NOW. I will when i have better control of myself and am at a more comfortable weight, in the meantime I wont begrudge or resent anyone else their enjoyment.0 -
Dang..stop worrying about what other people say and do and do for you! If you are good with your choices and happy then get past it already! You can join in with them just control what you stick in your mouth! If you don't like them then dont worry about it!0
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...I miss out on some of the outings/potlucks at work because I cant do it RIGHT NOW. I will when i have better control of myself...
See, there's another thing. Signalling "I can't control my eating" is like shining the Bat Signal over your head, only in a negative way that says "I'm not in charge of myself". That's not a...positive. Especially as it is coupled with an implicit rejection of your peers.
The best course of action here is to find the discipline to go AND to control yourself.0 -
Do you get along with these people? They may sense you are annoyed. Try to be friendly and happyThat's the thing, I've never turned them down because they never asked since I started losing. They make the decision for me... I think they believe they are doing me a favour but it's ticking me off now.0 -
oh0
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