Do treats cause you far more stress than pleasure?

Alehmer
Alehmer Posts: 433 Member
in Food and Nutrition
My team at work got treated to cupcakes by my manager today for pulling together and hitting a big goal. As in, go to a cupcake bakery and pick out a ridiculous hand-made $4 or $5 cupcake. If I hadn't scraped off 90% of the frosting (which is why I logged a brownie) the dang thing would have been over 700 calories. I usually turn down the vast majority of treats at work, but I decided to get one with my team today both because we really did do great things, and because I don't always want to be known as the inflexible health fanatic. It was tasty, of course, but as always my mind goes straight to the calories and boggles at the sugar. I almost never have a 'cheat' meal or treat and then say to myself, "That was totally worth it." I just feel bad and annoyed at myself.

Now, I know a few extra calories and carbs here and there aren't going to hurt me, and I am secure that I'm not going to fall off the wagon, but after years of being so careful and thoughtful about my food I'm finding it really hard to enjoy such things. I'm a guy who gets the awesome treat of a single piece of Sourdough bread with butter, banana, and a glass of milk with dinner after a 2.5 hour Jiu Jitsu practice.

I'm not asking for answers or reassurance or anything, just wondering if others out there have the same feeling, and if I will be able to have a beer at some point without feeling like I am doing something bad.

Replies

  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    As a general rule I don't allow food to stress me out. I don't have any real wisdom to offer but I wish you luck and hope you'll be able to enjoy treats without feeling guilty one day
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Not me. But if you know it's going to stress you out, and even worse, you're not going to enjoy it... don't.
  • Abram86
    Abram86 Posts: 282 Member
    I know how you feel! 2 years ago I would eat any and everything offered to me in a heartbeat. If I was invited to a Buffett I would eat til I was over stuffed. But for the past year I've been dieting and trying to live healthier. I've lost over 70 pounds. But I think I've turnedinto one of those health fanatic myself. Im always wondering how many calories are in this or that and it does take the fun out. If I have a cheat meal its not pleasurable because im right away in the gym working out.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I :heart: food

    I'd eat more if I could, but there's no way I'm giving up enjoying treats
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    My team at work got treated to cupcakes by my manager today for pulling together and hitting a big goal. As in, go to a cupcake bakery and pick out a ridiculous hand-made $4 or $5 cupcake. If I hadn't scraped off 90% of the frosting (which is why I logged a brownie) the dang thing would have been over 700 calories. I usually turn down the vast majority of treats at work, but I decided to get one with my team today both because we really did do great things, and because I don't always want to be known as the inflexible health fanatic. It was tasty, of course, but as always my mind goes straight to the calories and boggles at the sugar. I almost never have a 'cheat' meal or treat and then say to myself, "That was totally worth it." I just feel bad and annoyed at myself.

    Now, I know a few extra calories and carbs here and there aren't going to hurt me, and I am secure that I'm not going to fall off the wagon, but after years of being so careful and thoughtful about my food I'm finding it really hard to enjoy such things. I'm a guy who gets the awesome treat of a single piece of Sourdough bread with butter, banana, and a glass of milk with dinner after a 2.5 hour Jiu Jitsu practice.

    I'm not asking for answers or reassurance or anything, just wondering if others out there have the same feeling, and if I will be able to have a beer at some point without feeling like I am doing something bad.

    As a general rule I do not comment on individual beer intake: however since you are undecided I'll have two instead of one. And Jiu Jitsu would probably allow for a beer since you are burning so many calories; many great beers at 200 calories and under.
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
    Food is just food, not something to be guilty or stressed about. That's on the edge of disordered thinking. I occasionally will eat something (particularly if I eat before I look at the nutrition) and realize that it wasn't nearly good enough to be worth the calories, but then I shrug, decide not to eat it again, and move on. I had a blueberry muffin with baked in cream cheese yesterday that I hadn't planned on, and now I will need to be a bit more careful with cals this weekend. It was worth every bit.

    I'm sorry you felt that way and I hope that you can relax and enjoy someday.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Not me. But if you know it's going to stress you out, and even worse, you're not going to enjoy it... don't.

    When one finds themselves in the grips of unhealthy food association (in this case allowing food to cause them stress) I'm not sure that telling them to continue on that path is the best advice.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    I reached that point once where the high-calorie treat or unplanned dinner out stressed me out. I didn't like being there much so I gave it up.

    Sometimes I log my treats, sometimes I don't. If my weight comes off a little slower, so be it. I'd rather lose weight slowly and keep my sanity than get back to the point where a cupcake becomes a joyless thing. It's not worth it to me. :drinker:
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    The list from the Slorax

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1174685-craft-beer-while-dieting?hl=beer+list&page=1#posts-18351177

    Enjoy!
  • bilberryjam
    bilberryjam Posts: 72 Member
    It sounds to me as if you didn't want the cupcake in the first place so you weren't going to enjoy it.

    It's OK not to want cupcakes!

    If your boss had handed out cigars would you have smoked one? Or if they had taken you to a bar would you have had a beer?
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    No, I love treats.
    I have chocolate, icecream, a pastry or bread pudding almost every day. I don't feel guilty, it feels normal. A 700 calorie cupcake would be something i wouldn't have everyday, because it would be a bit harder for me to make it fit my macros and still be full at the end of the day. But with your calorie goal, you shouldn't have much of a problem.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    It sounds to me as if you didn't want the cupcake in the first place so you weren't going to enjoy it.

    It's OK not to want cupcakes!

    If your boss had handed out cigars would you have smoked one? Or if they had taken you to a bar would you have had a beer?

    No he wouldn't have had a beer because he feels guilty when he has one, and he seems to not want to feel that way. Did you even read the whole OP?
  • Expect_The_Worst
    Expect_The_Worst Posts: 171
    Should have just manned up and ate the cupcake.

    At the very least eat half the cupcake today, the other half for tomorrow? You couldnt possibly shift around the 350 calories in the rest of your day today or tomorrow?

    I guess in light of what i just said and what I asked. No, treats dont stress me out nearly as much as people who get all

    tucker-ape****-o.gif

    when their coworkers offer or give them "treats"
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
    I try to avoid pretty much all baked sweets. Truth is, I really don't enjoy them. Except cupcakes. They're my achilles heel. Slowly - very slowly - I'm getting them back under control. By "under control", I mean 1 every 3 or 4 months. My family got me this brownie cake thing a few weeks ago, and I had a super-small piece and scraped off all the icing. (I CAN NOT STAND icing!) I couldn't stop thinking, if I eat this, that's all my steak calories shot to hell. So I took it on the chin for my family.

    Once a year there's a bike race with 2 donut pit stops. For every donut you eat, they take 5 minutes off your final time. It's the only time I eat donuts. Ever. End of chapter. I can't say I particular like them, but that sugar rush comes in handy out on the bike course.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I don't experience the level of stress over treats that you seem to, and I'd be a little concerned about that...

    ...but I do kind of understand that *feeling* because if I eat something with too much sodium (bread from Subway, a cheesy Italian dish, etc) I feel fairly bummed out - my thinking is like "wow that was NOT worth the effects of a seemingly-gained 0.4 lb because I'm now retaining water for 48 hours".

    But I am a sugar lover so I would have been the one scooping frosting OFF the cupcake and enjoying every last bit without guilt. And tossing the cake part because I don't really like cake.

    It sounds like you enjoy SOME "treats" like the sourdough with PB & banana and some milk...yes that's healthy food, but as long as you are able to get some pleasure out of food it doesn't sound like your mindset is too horrible to me.
  • ab_1203
    ab_1203 Posts: 88 Member
    When I plan treats, I dont feel guilty, because I know theyre coming and can prepare for them. When I have worked for a planned treat through excercise, it makes me feel relieved. Treats that arent planned really make me feel guilty and stressed like what you went through at work. Your boss randomly brought cup cakes and I probably wouldve ate them too to not seem like the odd one out or the super health freak.
  • bilberryjam
    bilberryjam Posts: 72 Member
    No he wouldn't have had a beer because he feels guilty when he has one, and he seems to not want to feel that way. Did you even read the whole OP?

    Yep, I read it.

    I was trying to put it in a different context. If someone who doesn't smoke and/or drink feels obliged to smoke and/or drink then chances are they're not going to enjoy smoking and/or drinking.

    Sorry, OP, if I've got this wrong but I didn't hear "OMG I REALLY WANTED THE CUPCAKE, IT LOOKED FRICKING DELICIOUS, THE SPRINKLES WERE WHISPERING FILTHY THINGS TO ME ... BUT THEN I FELT GUILTY" from your post.

    It sounded more like you don't get much out of eating cupcakes and they're not worth the calories to you.
  • dshalbert
    dshalbert Posts: 677 Member
    One of the assistants at our office has a big bowl of Godiva chocolate truffles on her desk today. I had one and I am so much the better for it . I'm still smiling. So I guess I don't get stressed out and enjoy treats when I give myself permission have have one. Especially since I've already reached my 10K steps for the day and it's only 2:30 :smile: .
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    No I love food and eat it rather regularly.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Honestly, it can go either way for me. Usually the enjoyment outweighs the negative afterthoughts.
  • obrientp
    obrientp Posts: 546 Member
    I do understand what you mean. But for me, it's not necessarily the treat, it's the type of treat. I don't really care for those cupcakes that have the mile high frosting. I'd rather have a bowl of ice cream. I hate the times that I feel, I guess, peer pressure, to waste my hard earned calories on something I don't really want.
  • Alehmer
    Alehmer Posts: 433 Member
    Thanks for the quick response everyone!

    To be clear, I am not having an anxiety attack or cutting myself because I had a treat :)

    It's more that I am a clear creature of habit, both good and bad. I've gotten to where the vast majority of my habits are good, healthy ones and are very easy to maintain. But that also means that they are pretty much automatic. As in automatically calculating calories, sugars, macros, etc.

    This is compounded by the fact that I compete in a weight-class sport, and I feel a lot of pressure to stay within reach (water cut distance) of 199 lbs. Honestly if it weren't for that I wouldn't ever even step on the scale and just go be how I feel and BF% to stay centered.

    I just don't want to turn into a joyless douche :P I don't think happiness hinges on being able to eat or drink a certain thing and I don't need cake or pizza to be happy. But I guess I just felt really annoyed at how hard it is to let go of the analysis and wanted to share that.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I do understand what you mean. But for me, it's not necessarily the treat, it's the type of treat. I don't really care for those cupcakes that have the mile high frosting. I'd rather have a bowl of ice cream. I hate the times that I feel, I guess, peer pressure, to waste my hard earned calories on something I don't really want.

    ooh yes I like this way of summing it up!
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    From the beginning a changed my relationship with food and knowing that moderation would be the key to my future successes, from there I built upon the fact that I enjoy food (all foods) and will not demonize any foods into categories of good or bad. If I wanted it and I can make it fit within the confines of my caloric intake and macros then I have it and enjoy it and have no stress about it.... Best of Luck
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Rule #1 of losing weight... don't waste calories on things you don't really want. Unless it's veggies.
  • ME0172
    ME0172 Posts: 200
    I don't let food get to me. You don't get fat from one meal, just like you don't get skinny from one meal either. I need treats (favorite food like pizza) every once and a while in order to stay on track without being completely miserable. So I eat it, with a smile on my face, and then just get right back on track the next meal. I even plan in the calories when I know I'm going to do that LOL. I'm not an emotional eater, but if I deprive myself too long I'll binge. I keep myself from doing that by keeping it in moderation and occassional.
  • MelissaGraham7
    MelissaGraham7 Posts: 406 Member
    Maybe it is my age or maybe because I've been at this for years, but it never stresses me out. If I want it, I enjoy it. If I don't, I say no thank you. I don't worry what others think either way. I always hate those who say "people push food on me..." No they don't. You can eat it or not eat it. Enjoy it or forget it. It would be nice to see society become less food oriented though - so that every life celebration doesn't revolve about food. But still, I never stress over treats or no treats.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    Nope just had a handful of M & M's-delicious. Moved on.
  • bumblebreezy91
    bumblebreezy91 Posts: 520 Member
    Food stress basically ruined my birthday (and my fiancé's--two birthdays, extra food) for me yesterday. I can handle smaller treats without too much stress if I can fit them in my day & log them correctly on MFP, but an entire day off plan to "enjoy food" wasn't very fun.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    After your 2nd post, OP, I get it. I'm not in any athletic discipline, but I totally understand having difficulty giving up the analysis. I'm a scientist/data analyst by trade and tend to research and plan things in advance.

    Having an unplanned treat would grate on me for a little while, especially if it isn't something I would pick if left to my own devices. I'd still eat it though, given the circumstances. Probably half then. Maybe finish it later, maybe toss the rest when no one's looking.

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