my boyfriend's ex = my motivation

Lil_Leah
Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
ok, this may seem super rude, mean, evil, etc. but, i dont even care. :smile:

i cant help but laugh when i see pictures of my boyfriend's ex. she is getting quite large, and i find it absolutely hilarious because she talks soooo much crap about me, and it keeps me going to look better for him. i showed him a picture of her recently (thanks, facebook!) and he was appalled.

anyway, makes me feel like "haha, thats what you get for being a mean person". :drinker:
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Replies

  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member
    Karma....but then again, since you are being mean too....hmm, watch out down the road. Karma
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Eeeekkk!! I LOVE this :happy:

    my BF's EX is definately one of my motivaters as well!!!
  • LoriT129
    LoriT129 Posts: 312 Member
    Karma....but then again, since you are being mean too....hmm, watch out down the road. Karma

    Agreed...
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    Karma....but then again, since you are being mean too....hmm, watch out down the road. Karma

    i dont think i'm being mean. i stated she's getting quite large. its simply a fact. a statement. she is gaining weight. :smile:

    now, if i were to say "holy crow, this b&%&# is turning into a nasty heffer!" that'd be different. i just think, she's being mean to me behind my back, so, i agree with the karma thing. it definitely weighs "heavy".

    hahahah. :laugh: ok, that was a little mean. i just dont tolerate people being nasty to me. :flowerforyou:
  • dannieb02
    dannieb02 Posts: 2
    I don't think your mean I think your right on the money thats what she gets for talking mess...Get it Girl !!!!!
  • happy_jax
    happy_jax Posts: 289 Member
    :laugh: I don't care if people say you're being mean - isn't this what we ALL think inside anyway?? What a classic comment, had me giggling away to myself for quite a while! It's a great motivator!

    Luckily my boyfriend's ex is not in our lives at all....my motivation is his hairdresser! haha...a stick thin girl with fake boobies (like, his dream girl!) To be fair, she is not a madam at all (in fact, a sweetheart!) - but everytime I see him 'gorming' over her, I want to work that little bit harder in the gym! :happy:
  • Pandemonium
    Pandemonium Posts: 63
    I always compared myself to my BF's ex-girlfriends but they are exes for a reason. I realized that was a way to project my inner insecurities with my looks.

    Motivation is always important, but would you be still feeling this way even if she was skinner then you?

    Just my two-cents, not knocking on anyone's thoughts or feelings.

    I used to use my BF as motivation, but now my health and my life is my motivation.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    Karma....but then again, since you are being mean too....hmm, watch out down the road. Karma

    i dont think i'm being mean. i stated she's getting quite large. its simply a fact. a statement. she is gaining weight. :smile:

    now, if i were to say "holy crow, this b&%&# is turning into a nasty heffer!" that'd be different. i just think, she's being mean to me behind my back, so, i agree with the karma thing. it definitely weighs "heavy".

    hahahah. :laugh: ok, that was a little mean. i just dont tolerate people being nasty to me. :flowerforyou:

    It's not like you are sending her cookies and candy in the mail..... or are you :devil:
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    :laugh: I don't care if people say you're being mean - isn't this what we ALL think inside anyway?? What a classic comment, had me giggling away to myself for quite a while! It's a great motivator!

    Luckily my boyfriend's ex is not in our lives at all....my motivation is his hairdresser! haha...a stick thin girl with fake boobies (like, his dream girl!) To be fair, she is not a madam at all (in fact, a sweetheart!) - but everytime I see him 'gorming' over her, I want to work that little bit harder in the gym! :happy:

    Your boyfriend goes to a hairdresser? LOL My wife would not get jealous of my barber at all.... no matter how much I like 65 year old Italian men.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    I always compared myself to my BF's ex-girlfriends but they are exes for a reason. I realized that was a way to project my inner insecurities with my looks.

    Motivation is always important, but would you be still feeling this way even if she was skinner then you?

    Just my two-cents, not knocking on anyone's thoughts or feelings.

    I used to use my BF as motivation, but now my health and my life is my motivation.

    if she were skinnier than me, i'd be motivated by her too. :smile: i know she's an ex for a reason. and we're happy together. shes not a part of our lives or anything. i just think its funny that this is happening to someone that's being unneccesarily mean to me. and it makes me feel "empowered" if you will. :bigsmile:
  • alantin
    alantin Posts: 621 Member
    Karma....but then again, since you are being mean too....hmm, watch out down the road. Karma

    i dont think i'm being mean. i stated she's getting quite large. its simply a fact. a statement. she is gaining weight. :smile:

    now, if i were to say "holy crow, this b&%&# is turning into a nasty heffer!" that'd be different. i just think, she's being mean to me behind my back, so, i agree with the karma thing. it definitely weighs "heavy".

    hahahah. :laugh: ok, that was a little mean. i just dont tolerate people being nasty to me. :flowerforyou:

    Well..
    I think, it's more about the intention you say it with than what you actually say..
    Though, karma doesn't always work. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. And who can say that they are really so good? There is always someone who has cause to call you an a-hole..
    And what's up with being justified just for thinking that she has been mean to you behind your back? I seem to recall a wise man once saying something along the lines, "what's so excellent about you if you only do good to those who do good to you? Isn't, doing good to those who do evil to you, a sign of moral excellence?".

    Well.. Enough philosophy for now. Just sayin'.. And I'm not trying to be nasty to you! This just made me think.
    :flowerforyou:
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    Well..
    I think, it's more about the intention you say it with than what you actually say..
    Though, karma doesn't always work. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. And who can say that they are really so good? There is always someone who has cause to call you an a-hole..

    Well.. Enough philosophy for now. Just sayin'..

    i'm SO not an a-hole. :grumble:
  • DancingDreamer
    DancingDreamer Posts: 520
    ehhh i dont think you're being mean at all. its just human nature to feel a small amount of joy when someone we dont like is worse off than we are.

    my college enemy (she was my direct compitition for anything i wanted to do in my department and she usually won because she was a suck up) was always bragging about how she was "sporty" and her BF would do the same.....a part of it was because she didnt like me and was trying to make me feel fatter.......but now she's almost as fat as i am and her BF is on his way. its just human nature for me to grin a little when i see a picture of them now. just like its human nature for you to grin when you see your BF's ex getting fatter.
  • turboandrea
    turboandrea Posts: 108
    Yeah, all of us think like this - well women anyway! You can try and be as publicly nice as you want, but on the inside, we're hating. lol

    The same thing is happening to my boyfriend's exes, as well as my own ex-boyfriend's current girl. You know, the one he cheated on me with and left me for - yeah. :) That ex-boyfriend is responsible for my heaviest weight in my lifetime and teaching me the worst possible eating and fitness (lack thereof) habits. Getting as far away from that lifestyle both mentally and physically has been a GREAT motivational tool.

    Plus, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look as sexy as possible for your guy!
  • DancingDreamer
    DancingDreamer Posts: 520
    well women anyway!

    oh men do it too. dont let anyone tell you they dont.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    ehhh i dont think you're being mean at all. its just human nature to feel a small amount of joy when someone we dont like is worse off than we are.

    i thank you. :wink:
  • alantin
    alantin Posts: 621 Member
    ehhh i dont think you're being mean at all. its just human nature to feel a small amount of joy when someone we dont like is worse off than we are.

    lol
    I think that's true too. I do think, she is being mean though! :laugh:
    well women anyway!
    oh men do it too. dont let anyone tell you they dont.
    [/quote]

    Yeah. Men are like that too. Yet, my experience seems to be that women tend to be louder about it! :laugh:
  • HazelDiva1913
    HazelDiva1913 Posts: 194 Member
    HOney thats not mean at all...thats mad motivation...she was talking a bout you and shes blowin up...now your fit and fabulous....you should always choose your words wisely and watch who you talk about. Karma...and u look great girl keep it up and keep them wanting more lol
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    I do wonder, have you shown your BF a pic of how you looked before?
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    I do wonder, have you shown your BF a pic of how you looked before?

    yes! i've actually known (and had a crush on) him for 10 years. :love: so i'm pretty happy. we were always best friends. and the best relationships blossom from friendships! :flowerforyou:

    i mean, i couldve been super rude and said something like "maybe she should quit running her mouth, and run on a treadmill instead". :indifferent: but i kept that thought inside. until now. tehe.
  • Thin40
    Thin40 Posts: 6
    If this motivates you, great! She needs to quit talking about you. :)
  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member

    i dont think i'm being mean. i stated she's getting quite large. its simply a fact. a statement. she is gaining weight. :smile:

    now, if i were to say "holy crow, this b&%&# is turning into a nasty heffer!" that'd be different. i just think, she's being mean to me behind my back, so, i agree with the karma thing. it definitely weighs "heavy".

    hahahah. :laugh: ok, that was a little mean. i just dont tolerate people being nasty to me. :flowerforyou:

    (As you stated in your original post,) laughing at someone else's misfortune is mean...and don't get me wrong. I agree, I have been very pleased when I see my husbands' ex is not looking as good as she used to, but it's still mean, no matter how you try to deny it.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    (As you stated in your original post,) laughing at someone else's misfortune is mean...and don't get me wrong. I agree, I have been very pleased when I see my husbands' ex is not looking as good as she used to, but it's still mean, no matter how you try to deny it.

    ok. i'm being mean.

    still dont care. :drinker:
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    You're not being mean, everyone else is being overly sensitive. This isn't an ethics support site, anyhow.

    Besides, remember when Jesus smote that girl who made fun of him in high school?
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    thank you. :bigsmile:
  • aaesme
    aaesme Posts: 1
    my brqoyfriend's ex-wife is stick thin and very beautiful (even without makeup, she has perfect skin, large eyes, full lips,perfect white teeth) she's 2 years older than me..she's turning 29 this year but she still looks like a freakin teenager! Its enough to drive you crazy.. even though she has gained like 10 lbs after their divirce she is still very slim..at first I was happy to see she's gained wait but then I'm like huh,she's still super hot and skinny.. For me it works in reverse..I want to lose weight to get back into my size 4 again.. And to be honest its not like I'm "competing" with her over my boyfriend, it has nothing to do with him its just I feel that if I ever met or bumped into her I don't want her to look at me like"he left me for HER" I mean I'm not bad to look at but I am like 15 pounds overweight.. sigh I think this feeling is common in most women..comes naturally to us to be competitive with each other like it or not.
  • 76pounds
    76pounds Posts: 31 Member
    I'm sure you're gorgeous, doll!
    Don't compare yourself to her. :p
    There's a reason why he's YOUR man and not hers.
    Besides, any ***** before you was a mistake and IF there are any *****es after you, theyre a downgrade.
    Love yourself !
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
    Yeah, all of us think like this - well women anyway! You can try and be as publicly nice as you want, but on the inside, we're hating. lol

    I think you're right, but isn't it a bit... sad??

    Shouldn't we have more positive things to motivate us than this constant one-up manship against other women? :huh:
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    Yeah, all of us think like this - well women anyway! You can try and be as publicly nice as you want, but on the inside, we're hating. lol

    I think you're right, but isn't it a bit... sad??

    Shouldn't we have more positive things to motivate us than this constant one-up manship against other women? :huh:

    Women would be running the world by now if we weren't so competitive...I think men did it on purpose...made us get catty. And I'm not saying ALL men are like this, but it is a bit odd that women are the ones that "peacock" when typically in nature, it is the male that does it.

    Not that I'm not guilty of feeling like this, but at my smallest I had 10 lbs on my husband's ex girlfriends and at my heaviest, he still thought I was sexy. His exes were sticks and he likes curves better. It feels good to know that being healthy and active are my motivations and not some b*tch in the past.
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 492 Member
    i'm totally with you on this one!! :laugh:

    My fella's ex-wife is such a horrible woman, she's the type that uses his kids against him. She's said some really mean, untrue things about me so I feel I have the right to laugh when I see pictures of her with a triple chin!! :laugh:
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