The smaller I get, the worse I feel about my body

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  • Str0ng_Heart
    Str0ng_Heart Posts: 46
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    I'll put on something nice, hate the way it looks then change into something baggy and think, "I'm going to look like crap anyway, may as well be comfortable".

    First congrats, thats a major accomplishment for your health! No matter what I hope youre proud of at least that!

    Second, look inside, because that comment above is all that I could see.. You will look like crap anyways. No you wont. Crap doesnt take life by the balls and say 80 pounds?! Yeah I got this.
    You are not your body, or your looks. Your body is simply a way to move through this world, THATS why its so great you lost the weight, you get to keep moving and living.. What matters is whats inside you.
    How you treat people, no matter how they treat you. How you forgive people, how you show compassion, how hard you love, and how deeply you feel.. I have a feeling you do all of these things..
    See the beauty in that when you look in the mirror.. That is the only true way to measure beauty in this life. You wanna walk around in sweats all day? So be it, you wont look like crap. Because the love you have within you.. it radiates out to others.. The smile you give them as you hold a door open thats what theyll notice..
    By all means be comfy, but dont ever think you look like crap.. you look like pure love.. We all do in a way.. At least thats what I see.. I see lights, and i see dimming lights.. But I never see nothing at all.. i never see crap.. <3 Keep your chin up..
  • notyouraveragetalia
    notyouraveragetalia Posts: 223 Member
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    I'm just feeling like no matter what I look like, I'll never be happy..
    I'm going to post pictures in a few minutes.

    This. Try to disassociate happiness with a number on the scale. Reaching a goal weight doesn't automatically make you feel fulfillment. Try to find fulfillment in other areas of your life, and take your weight loss success as a catalyst to finding (or in some cases eliminating) those things. It's certainly not easy, because many of us have convinced ourselves that we are happy with everything around us/about ourselves other than our weight.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Wow; that's sad. I've lost 15 lbs and gained some tone and definition I haven't had in a long while. I was excited about the strength and balance I've gained, but I've noticed that when I see my naked self in the mirror, those new muscles and definition are kind of ugly. I'm hoping that once I get some sun on those arms and legs this summer, they might not be so icky-looking. Maybe you just need to find clothes that fit better for you. I learned a couple of things this year:

    1. Turn your hangars backward in your closet. Whenever you put something on and don't like it, put it back in the closet backward. If you like it and end up wearing it, it goes back later on the hangar turned right-side. At the end of the season, discard any items left in your closet backward. You don't like them and there's a good reason for not letting them take up valuable real estate.

    2. Never wear clothes that you don't feel good in. That means those baggy ones, too. Wear things that make you feel happy; for me that means feminine and even a little sexy. When I was bigger I liked ruffles - now I hate them because they're really just a mechanism for me to hide behind when I don't feel good about my body image.

    3. Cut myself some slack. I'm not where I want to be yet, so I work with what I've got. If I don't like what I see in the mirror, but it's better than it was before the body overhaul began, then I'm in a better place and tell myself to keep up the good work and be patient.

    Best of luck on your journey. Take a walk and you might feel better/happier. Winter sure does suck the happy out of us sometimes.

    I like your hangar idea... And OP I hope you purchased the dress your wearing because its very flattering and looks very nice on you.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Sometimes i feel like that. I've noticed for me though its, directly tied into if i've worked out or not. If I have and given it all i've got, I'll end up thinking I look good in the clothes I picked out for the day. If i havent or half assed it, I end up feeling yucky and jiggly. I know its all mental because right now I'm trying to build muscle as I lose these last 24 lbs. I've already lost 50 and my biggest concern is someone will tell i look skinny instead of healthy and fit.

    Elyse! I see you working out, and what you eat... you may not be the exact weight today that you'd like to be in the end, but I think your healthy and have great healthy habits right now, at the weight you are right now. I'm going to be one to tell you, how proud I am of you, and how healthy and fit you look...
  • StarFall90
    StarFall90 Posts: 133 Member
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    You look amazing. I looked at you before and after, you are beautiful. You should be proud of all the work you have done. Ditch the baggy clothing because you have an amazing hour glass figure in your profile picture. Show it off!
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    You are experiencing the harsh reality that losing weight does not equal eternal happiness. We constantly think, "if I just lose x amount of pounds, I would be soooo happy!" It's just not true. I wish I had more helpful advice, but I can tell you you are not alone. Feel proud in your accomplishments, but don't let your weight or body image define you.
    Exactly.. Skinny does not equal happiness. Be happy today. At the weight you are today. Knowone knows how many days they have left. And we don't want to spend our days feeling crappy about weight and the scale readings.
  • brewji
    brewji Posts: 752 Member
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    Let me say first off, WOW. You have done a tremendous job towards your goals.

    Secondly, you don't *need* to lose weight, it's about how you feel. Right now, as a man who dislikes the skeleton look, you are virtually the ideal body shape! I don't know about other guys, but that's how I feel. My girlfriend isn't a twig, and I love her that way.
  • Nancy33333
    Nancy33333 Posts: 32 Member
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    I've gone through my clothes closet twice now, several months apart. I try each piece on, and evaluate whether it flatters me or not. If it doesn't, I just let it go. Sometimes the answer is not quite so obvious, so I keep those pieces. But if it doesn't look good on you, and doesn't fit, I don't see a reason to hang on to it, personally. I don't keep clothes in multiple sizes (i.e., "in case I gain")--that's just a temptation to not stick with your goals. Good luck! Getting clothes right is not all that easy, I found.
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
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    You look absolutely beautiful in that dress. I wonder if you just need your mind to catch up with your body:flowerforyou:
  • kagevf
    kagevf Posts: 509 Member
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    you look HOT ! (tssss, ouch) sorry thinking out loud again.

    strength training and proper diet will pull all those loose skin back.
    patience is your friend.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
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    I think part of it, too, is that when we are carrying extra pounds, we can blame the "not looking good" on the pounds, and that is made a little easier because we know that it's possible to change that one thing about ourselves through diet if we really try. On the other hand, once we get smaller...the flaws are no longer based on a number that we know how to change...we have a lot less control over that, and I think that is more upsetting....does that make sense?

    (yes of course we can do things to improve our bodies, strength train, hydrate well, have patience...but frankly, for many of us there is at least some damage done that can't be so "easily" fixed)
  • AbigailWins
    AbigailWins Posts: 42
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    Sometimes I feel like this and then I wear something I feel comfortable with. It sounds like you need to buy some more clothes that really flatter your new figure.

    Find out what makes you look your best and buy more of that.

    Sometimes the cut of a dress doesn't make one look one's best. Invest in clothes that make you feel beautiful. And get your hair done and pamper yourself.

    You've achieved a lot with losing weight you deserve to celebrate it and feel good.
  • m2boo
    m2boo Posts: 8
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    I've had that issue in the past when I've lost weight and I think it's because I stop looking at myself when I'm heavy. I am totally out of touch with my body and how it looks. As you lose weight I think you start seeing things you didn't see when you are heavier because you are just more likely to look in the mirror.
  • massivediet
    massivediet Posts: 54 Member
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    I feel the way you do sometimes. I lost a total of about 60 pounds, 15 of them before starting MFP, and I have about 20 pounds to go, and in some ways I am less comfortable with my body, mainly because of the boob issue and some loose skin. I feel happy and confident with the way I am dressing, though, and the compliments from others have really been motivating. Often I get compliments on my clothes first and then the person looks again and comments on the weight loss.

    So 3 suggestions for dressing:

    Try some shapewear and get some really good bras--if you haven't already.

    Anything that is wearable but loose, just part with it or put it in the pajamas drawer. These things do not look good on you, they're going to look even worse as you approach goal. I had some beautiful things that I wanted very much to keep, but looking at them objectively, they appeared to be someone else's clothes. Having them also make it easier to put back on a few pounds or more without having to acknowledge it, as we all know.

    Consider changing your style to fit your new body. This was probably the number one thing that helped me. Before the weight loss, I always wore jeans, or slacks for work, with often lower cut, unstructured pretty tops and sweaters. This style worked on my size sixteen body, camouflaging the worst and highlighting my best features. Now at size eight, I wear dresses almost all the time, and when I don't, I wear much more structured tops with slimmer fitting pants and skirts. Having a wardrobe that is updated to fit the new body, plus updated in the sense that it is more modern, has been as important to me as the weight loss itself.
  • Lunira
    Lunira Posts: 33
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    Maybe you're not used to getting positive attention from others because of your appearance, and now that you're getting it, it's making you feel uncomfortable and self-conscious?

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