Today my total was -60 lbs!

I started this journey a year and a half ago. At that time, I wore a size 18W. I didn't sleep well because in the middle of the night, I would wake up from my hip joints hurting. I would huff and puff going up a flight of stairs. I was humiliated and embarrassed to wear a swimsuit. At 60 years of age, I still was not comfortable in my own skin.

Then my stepmother Pauline died. (She married my dad long after I was an adult, so was not a part of my formative years.) Her senior years were pretty tragic. She was a lifelong alcoholic and pill addict. She spent what should have been her "golden years" mostly in jail for DUIs. It really struck me. She died never having won her biggest battle: addiction.

I did NOT want to be that old woman who had never conquered her personal demon. I resolved to face my demon of food addiction and overeating. It was NOT going to own me for the rest of my life!

I bought a season pass at a local water park, because I love to swim. I went every day and swam "laps" in their lazy river. I did it all summer long, and it became an ingrained habit, and I loved it. When autumn approached, I wondered where I would be able to swim now. My husband gave me a gift membership to the local Gold's Gym because they had an indoor pool. I started swimming there. Some friends told me about MFP and I joined here and started tracking my diet. Then I started branching out at the gym. I tried the lady's area weight machines, and I enjoyed it. I started walking on my lunch hour sometimes. I tried a few classes, and discovered I really enjoyed the Body Pump classes, which are cardio with a little bit of weight. I felt powerful.

I started losing weight. I bought most of my "interim" wardrobe at thrift stores. It's amazing how many like-new clothes you can find there. I went through 16W, 14W, 14, 12... Now most of my clothes are 10s and 12s and "medium". That beautiful word, "medium"! I look "normal" in a mirror, or in a shop window reflection. Not "fat," not "stocky," not "big-boned."

I sleep well. My blood pressure is well within healthy ranges. I have energy. I don't have aches and pains. My blood sugar is no longer "pre-diabetic." I feel healthy. I haven't missed a day of work in over a year to illness. I don't take any prescription medications to manage anything anymore. I climb stairs and am fine. I actually look forward to buying a new swimsuit for this coming summer! and have already bought my season pass for my local water park. I routinely walk at lunch and attend a couple Body Pump classes a week.

It's been slow. It's a long haul. I haven't been "perfect" by any means. My end of day MFP often just says I completed my day, and not "was under her calorie goal." I have had long periods of difficulty and backsliding. But I have made progress, bit by bit, and I very much want it to be a lifelong change.

I don't know whether this is my "goal" weight or not. I plan to keep losing a little bit at a time, and keep toning and strengthening.

I wanted to share. Because at one time, I thought, it was too overwhelming. I'd never get to "goal" weight. I couldn't control myself around food. Obstacle obstacle obstacle. Reason reason reason. Doubt doubt doubt. So I wanted to say: set your mind. Believe in yourself. Be powerful. Fake it till you make it (check this out: http://blog.ted.com/2013/12/13/fake-it-til-you-become-it-amy-cuddys-power-poses-visualized/). You can do it.

You're not alone.

I would love to support you if you would like to add me.