accountability
ItsTimeForMe_
Posts: 2
Hello- My name is Nikki. I am a wife, mother of 3, and full time nursing supervisor. I will be 31 in just a few days and have come to the realization I NEED accountability. I was 217 pounds at my heaviest non-pregnant weight, and have managed to lose and keep off 33 pounds (current weight is 184). But i am stagnant, just treading water now. I was at one point going to the gym twice a week, but then my Papa became ill. I was put on the back burner during his time of need, and I'd gladly do it all over again.
I'm looking to gain a few motivational friends. I need the accountability factor to keep myself on track. I would be happy to return the favor! I have all the dietary guidelines I SHOULD be following; but sometimes it is quicker/easier to grab something fast. I have 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 165. Once there I will re-evaluate to see if I'm content or would like to lose a few more.
My aim is to be healthy and active. I want to be that mom PLAYING with her kids, not sidelined watching them.
I'm looking to gain a few motivational friends. I need the accountability factor to keep myself on track. I would be happy to return the favor! I have all the dietary guidelines I SHOULD be following; but sometimes it is quicker/easier to grab something fast. I have 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 165. Once there I will re-evaluate to see if I'm content or would like to lose a few more.
My aim is to be healthy and active. I want to be that mom PLAYING with her kids, not sidelined watching them.
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Replies
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If you can't do it for yourself.. or for your kids... why do you think that internet strangers are going to be able to do that for you?
You've been on here since Nov 2012, full access to a forum full of people that provide success stories, tips, and help.
We can't do it for you.0 -
I am more than happy to help, if possible. Am on here daily. Will send you a FR.0
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Hello- My name is Nikki. I am a wife, mother of 3, and full time nursing supervisor. I will be 31 in just a few days and have come to the realization I NEED accountability. I was 217 pounds at my heaviest non-pregnant weight, and have managed to lose and keep off 33 pounds (current weight is 184). But i am stagnant, just treading water now. I was at one point going to the gym twice a week, but then my Papa became ill. I was put on the back burner during his time of need, and I'd gladly do it all over again.
I'm looking to gain a few motivational friends. I need the accountability factor to keep myself on track. I would be happy to return the favor! I have all the dietary guidelines I SHOULD be following; but sometimes it is quicker/easier to grab something fast. I have 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 165. Once there I will re-evaluate to see if I'm content or would like to lose a few more.
My aim is to be healthy and active. I want to be that mom PLAYING with her kids, not sidelined watching them.
I have a hectic schedule right now (full time work/full time school 8am-11pm mon-fri!!!) and I KNOW that I will end up grabbing something fast and easy, so I plan ahead of time and include fast/easy items in my meal plan. If you see that you keep failing in the same way over and over again, adjust how you meet that goal so it is more doable for you!0 -
I'm also more than happy to help. I'm here on a daily basis and have open food diary. I'll send you a FR.0
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I disagree with the above poster who said internet strangers can't help. Sometimes strangers are the best motivators. My husband lost a lot of weight last year. He credits it to an anonymous nurse that would call him every 2 weeks to ask about his progress (it was a work insurance program where you sign up for calls from a nurse to address your health concerns). He said that even though he didn't know this lady the fact that she would call and ask how he was doing with his exercising/eating was motivator enough for him to stay on track because he didn't want to have to tell her he wasn't sticking with it.
Congrats on losing the weight that you already have! Sounds like you are motivated again to stick with the program. Best of luck!0 -
Wow that first response is harsh and rude. Nikki, if you've made the committment you can do it! I'm always happy to cheer you on. If you need some friends to support you we are here, shoot me a FR. This is a hard path ahead of us but it helps when we have friends we can steal meal plans from, share recipes and be reminded that if they can make it to the gym - so can I! The mental aspect has to be in your own head, but we are happy to lead and be led by example.0
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I could use an accountability partner also. I will add you as well.0
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I joined, but never really utilized the site or the app. I have made lifestyle changes, and am more fit and active than I was 33 pounds ago. Why reply if you have NOTHING nice or of value to say? I am my own worse critic. Asking for accountability is quite a step for me, it shows my commitment but also puts out there I may need help along the way, and really what is wrong with that?0
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Sending a FR. Sometimes you need that extra boost.0
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Wow that first response is harsh and rude.
...it isn't that I don't wish the OP well, but if she isn't willing to do what she knows she has to do... for her kids, why is it that folks in the internet are gonna be the force that tips the scale. Call it rude, call it harsh, but she has realized that she needs to change. We aren't gonna be there when she decides to cheat on her diet... or if she wakes up in the middle of the night and decides to raid the fridge.
There's nothing wrong with having friends on here... or giving/getting advice. Using an internet forum as the motivation over being healthy for her kids is off.
My point: We cannot, as internet friends, force the OP to change her behavior in real life. She has to do that herself.
OP, if you want to be the mom that is out playing with her kids... then go do that. Don't sit on the sidelines.0 -
Trogalicious, she said she needs accountability, not motivation. So yes, your response was rude and harsh, not to mention inappropriate, since coming to the forums for accountability is EXACTLY WHAT THE FORUMS ARE FOR.
Maybe switch to decaf?0 -
Hi Nikki. My name is Nikki too. Short for NIcole. I am a mother of 2 boys and I am very interested in helping you be accountable. You sound self motivated but focused and I appreciate honesty and integrity. I am seeking the same.
I am very interested in health , nutrition ad excercise. I eat too much of the wrong thnigs at times, my body does not convert carbs the way I wish it would. Diabetes runs in the family so sugar needs to be regulated in my diet and chocolate has been my best friend for it's fat caffeine and carb value for way to long!!
I am on track at this time. I stay within my caloric intake and I am focused and driven. I fell off during the holidays. I lost thirty pounds prior however I gained it back since Dec. 15th I weigh 250 pounds. I am 5'9" and I am considerd shapely.
I have not worn a pair of jeans in three years!! It makes me sick. 200 is my goal. I am a super model at 200. :laugh:
My partner is not motivting and kind of a brick. He will support me but is too tired to work out with me. My mother has been known to sabotage but will graciously weigh me every week just to be nosey. My oldest is starting to get chunky. Miles is 11.
He is in baesball and karate my little one is a rail.
I own a cleaning service and I am active however my body is used to it and I need to do MORE yikes!! I need to do strength and carsio. I hate cardio. I love strength. I need accountability on my cardio. I hate to sweat!!
I noticed you said that you just need to grab things. I truly believe that failure to prepare is preparing to fail. You need to have things that are low cal, carb and lean to grab if you are a grabber. That means you need to be ON that shopping list and you need to PURGE EVERYTHING your cabinets of ANYTHING that will sabotage your results.
Have a just a few things for the kids laying around? Give them to your significant other and let him dole them out. Just prepare GRAB BAGS for you.
Don't prepare things you dislike...it's a waste of time, uninspiring and I find they lay there and rot....
My favorite sancks are...
Cherry tomatoes
Raw mushrooms
Green Beans
Celery with very little peantu butter
Lowfat Mazzarella Sticks
Prepared foofds thats say lowfat and sugarless are hidden with chemicals that make you stay fat...avoid them
I do whole foods...
Ae we ready to DROP SOME WEIGHT!!!
Let's do this!!
Nikki James0 -
...and what if she stops coming to the forums? or stops logging in...? or stops counting?Trogalicious, she said she needs accountability, not motivation. So yes, your response was rude and harsh, not to mention inappropriate, since coming to the forums for accountability is EXACTLY WHAT THE FORUMS ARE FOR.
Maybe switch to decaf?
with almost 750 days logged on here, I've had friends that have done that. They've just quit. You can reach out to them all day if you want, but until they DECIDE to change and to stick to it, a group of well-wishing people online can't keep them honest.
Also, the forums have plenty of other uses outside of accountability.0 -
http://authoritynutrition.com/101-healthy-low-carb-recipes/Hello- My name is Nikki. I am a wife, mother of 3, and full time nursing supervisor. I will be 31 in just a few days and have come to the realization I NEED accountability. I was 217 pounds at my heaviest non-pregnant weight, and have managed to lose and keep off 33 pounds (current weight is 184). But i am stagnant, just treading water now. I was at one point going to the gym twice a week, but then my Papa became ill. I was put on the back burner during his time of need, and I'd gladly do it all over again.
I'm looking to gain a few motivational friends. I need the accountability factor to keep myself on track. I would be happy to return the favor! I have all the dietary guidelines I SHOULD be following; but sometimes it is quicker/easier to grab something fast. I have 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 165. Once there I will re-evaluate to see if I'm content or would like to lose a few more.
My aim is to be healthy and active. I want to be that mom PLAYING with her kids, not sidelined watching them.0 -
http://authoritynutrition.com/101-healthy-low-carb-recipes/Hello- My name is Nikki. I am a wife, mother of 3, and full time nursing supervisor. I will be 31 in just a few days and have come to the realization I NEED accountability. I was 217 pounds at my heaviest non-pregnant weight, and have managed to lose and keep off 33 pounds (current weight is 184). But i am stagnant, just treading water now. I was at one point going to the gym twice a week, but then my Papa became ill. I was put on the back burner during his time of need, and I'd gladly do it all over again.
I'm looking to gain a few motivational friends. I need the accountability factor to keep myself on track. I would be happy to return the favor! I have all the dietary guidelines I SHOULD be following; but sometimes it is quicker/easier to grab something fast. I have 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 165. Once there I will re-evaluate to see if I'm content or would like to lose a few more.
My aim is to be healthy and active. I want to be that mom PLAYING with her kids, not sidelined watching them.58941852_3076_thumb nikkijames123 Selector
Joined Feb 2014
Posts: 4
February 17, 2014 1:02 pm
Hi Nikki. My name is Nikki too. Short for NIcole. I am a mother of 2 boys and I am very interested in helping you be accountable. You sound self motivated but focused and I appreciate honesty and integrity. I am seeking the same.
I am very interested in health , nutrition ad excercise. I eat too much of the wrong thnigs at times, my body does not convert carbs the way I wish it would. Diabetes runs in the family so sugar needs to be regulated in my diet and chocolate has been my best friend for it's fat caffeine and carb value for way to long!!
I am on track at this time. I stay within my caloric intake and I am focused and driven. I fell off during the holidays. I lost thirty pounds prior however I gained it back since Dec. 15th I weigh 250 pounds. I am 5'9" and I am considerd shapely.
I have not worn a pair of jeans in three years!! It makes me sick. 200 is my goal. I am a super model at 200. laugh
My partner is not motivting and kind of a brick. He will support me but is too tired to work out with me. My mother has been known to sabotage but will graciously weigh me every week just to be nosey. My oldest is starting to get chunky. Miles is 11.
He is in baesball and karate my little one is a rail.
I own a cleaning service and I am active however my body is used to it and I need to do MORE yikes!! I need to do strength and carsio. I hate cardio. I love strength. I need accountability on my cardio. I hate to sweat!!
I noticed you said that you just need to grab things. I truly believe that failure to prepare is preparing to fail. You need to have things that are low cal, carb and lean to grab if you are a grabber. That means you need to be ON that shopping list and you need to PURGE EVERYTHING your cabinets of ANYTHING that will sabotage your results.
Have a just a few things for the kids laying around? Give them to your significant other and let him dole them out. Just prepare GRAB BAGS for you.
Don't prepare things you dislike...it's a waste of time, uninspiring and I find they lay there and rot....
My favorite sancks are...
Cherry tomatoes
Raw mushrooms
Green Beans
Celery with very little peantu butter
Lowfat Mazzarella Sticks
Prepared foofds thats say lowfat and sugarless are hidden with chemicals that make you stay fat...avoid them
I do whole foods...
Ae we ready to DROP SOME WEIGHT!!!
Let's do this!!
Nikki James0 -
Hello- My name is Nikki. I am a wife, mother of 3, and full time nursing supervisor. I will be 31 in just a few days and have come to the realization I NEED accountability. I was 217 pounds at my heaviest non-pregnant weight, and have managed to lose and keep off 33 pounds (current weight is 184). But i am stagnant, just treading water now. I was at one point going to the gym twice a week, but then my Papa became ill. I was put on the back burner during his time of need, and I'd gladly do it all over again.
I'm looking to gain a few motivational friends. I need the accountability factor to keep myself on track. I would be happy to return the favor! I have all the dietary guidelines I SHOULD be following; but sometimes it is quicker/easier to grab something fast. I have 19 pounds to reach my goal weight of 165. Once there I will re-evaluate to see if I'm content or would like to lose a few more.
My aim is to be healthy and active. I want to be that mom PLAYING with her kids, not sidelined watching them.0 -
Nikki, I'm in a similar place (wife, mother of 3, and needing a supportive community to help me STICK with this). I am trying to focus more on just being healthy (as opposed to the weight loss), but dropping a few pounds will definitely be a great bonus!
I'd love to have more friends to help cheer me on, too. I'll send you a FR!
There are a lot of reasons why people leave and come back. I've been on since 2011, and there have been periods of time where I logged every single day for months straight, then disappeared for months. Especially as moms of young kids, it's easy to let other things take priority over our own health (and especially being able to log on to the computer every single day). Nobody is saying that's ideal, but it happens. I recently came back to MFP after about a year away. I had a lot of personal/family stuff come up, and I tried doing a few other eating/health plans that didn't involve the time-consuming, meticulous logging that MFP requires that I didn't have time for. I discovered none of them were as effective as MFP was, so I've come back.
People come to the message boards for support, not to hear someone say (in essence), "Well, if you're not enough now, you never will be!" Some people are internally motivated and surrounded by people IRL who support their goals. Other people find external motivation helpful, and an online community who shares similar goals can help provide that motivation. We definitely don't want to feel like someone's looking at how long we've been here and judging us for how successful we have (or haven't) been to this point. NOT helpful at all. Whether we are trying to develop a healthier lifestyle for the first time or for the tenth time, we still deserve support and respect, not a rude dismissal!0 -
I'm going to agree with Trog on this.
Friends on here for support and advice are awesome. They can help. But can they really hold her accountable? No. The only one that can do that is herself. She has to CHOOSE and DECIDE that she wants to change and stick with it. As he pointed out, what happens if she cheats on her diet or raids the fridge in the middle of the night? No one but herself can stop her.
Maybe she doesn't actually mean accountability and meant needs more support.
OP - I wish you the best, you've taken the first step and wanting to change. You just have to decide to really do it for you. Believe in yourself that you can do it. Decide to set a better example for your kids. Get them involved in working out with you. Make it like a fun family activity (dancing, hiking, etc.). Also remembering it's about moderation not deprivation.
ETA: Trog isn't being mean, harsh, dismissive, he's being honest. I've always been one that honesty is the best policy. Sometimes honesty may sting a little, but most times, it's what the person may need to hear. We aren't here to coddle anyone. We are here to help, whether you believe he's helping or not, he is. Sometimes people need the hard truth.0 -
I sent the original poster a request and any others that would to join up with me and take this journey together. Please feel free to add me. I have a different perspective than some of the ones expressed in here. Im here to help out however I can for who ever I can. Be Blessed and look forward to hearing from some of you!0
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I was going to post this anyway - but it will also be relate to trog's post (Hi, trog)
I knew what to do. I had family supporting me. I had friends supporting me. I had a husband that supported me. I had all the support in the world. Nothing changed. For years.
It only changed when I took responsibility for my health. When I decided to do this - nothing and no one could stop me. Having friends on MFP is awesome - but they are not there in my house telling me not to eat more cookies. They are not there to tell me to get out and run or hit the gym to lift weights.
What works is when YOU decide to put in the hard work to lose weight. What works is building habits around health . Once you do this, you will realize that accountability comes from within - it's the only way you will be compliant all the time. When you want it bad enough - you will do it. Good luck.0 -
Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:0
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Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:
What you call mean is exactly what made me get up and do this. Yes, he has lost a lot of weight. So, guess what? He knows what works. It's not mean to tell someone the truth. I had a very wise woman tell me about 8 years ago, "When you're ready to lose the weight - you will". I thought she was mean, too. But you know what? She was right. I listened to the people on here who have been successful and now I am doing this MYSELF. No one and nothing will ever be able to stop me. If I am the last person on the Earth - I will be able to do this everyday.
So, maybe this won't work for you. But, I was one of the ones that read everything on the forums and listened. It worked for me and there just might be someone out there today that will hear that message too. So if you want hand holding and flowers - add friends on your list that will do that. Me? I'm going to seek out all the people that will tell me the unvarnished truth.0 -
Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:
Shame on you lady. He's not bullying anyone. He's being honest. People sometimes need to hear honesty rather than being coddled and have everything delivered to them with a nice sugar coating.
Honesty =/= mean, harsh, dismissive, non-compassionate, or bullying.
Come on people.
Just in case you forgot what bullying ACTUALLY means...
bul·ly [bool-ee] - noun, plural bul·lies. 1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
All of which he is NOT doing.
And let's define honesty.
hon·es·ty [on-uh-stee] - noun, plural hon·es·ties. 1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
And everything Beachlover said. No one can do this unless they want it, they choose it and decide to do it. It really is that simple. I'm not saying losing weight is easy. For years I wanted to lose weight, I knew what needed to be done, but I wasn't ready by any means. I would start, have 1 slip up and start beating myself up so I'd quit. What that really means is I wasn't really ready to lose the weight. When I was in 2012 I did. I made the decision, I chose it, I held myself accountable. I believed in eating/drinking what I want, as long as it fit in my calorie limit. Moderation not deprivation. I also had to stop beating myself up which was easier once I decided I really wanted this.0 -
Accountability (noun) the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions
By the very definition of the term it is about YOU. YOUR actions. YOUR responsibilities. YOUR obligation. To yourself. This website is a great tool for that, but it doesn't do the work for you, it just helps you stick to the plan. You still have to do it all yourself.0 -
Yes, ultimately we are all accountable only to ourselves. We supplement that with support systems, both in real life and online. The original post is reaching out to those support systems. I just thought the initial "you have to do it yourself" message, while true, was not in the spirit of reaching out to that community.0
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HI!
Im definitely looking for the same thing as you are. I find it very hard to hold myself accountable and need motivating friends. Im also in the medical field and it seems as if every day that I go to work my coworkers just keep bringing in more and more junk food. I find it very hard to stay away. haha. Feel free to send me a request. would love to help you on your journey0 -
I'm here on a daily basis and have open food diary. feel free to add me0
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Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:
What you call mean is exactly what made me get up and do this. Yes, he has lost a lot of weight. So, guess what? He knows what works. It's not mean to tell someone the truth. I had a very wise woman tell me about 8 years ago, "When you're ready to lose the weight - you will". I thought she was mean, too. But you know what? She was right. I listened to the people on here who have been successful and now I am doing this MYSELF. No one and nothing will ever be able to stop me. If I am the last person on the Earth - I will be able to do this everyday.
So, maybe this won't work for you. But, I was one of the ones that read everything on the forums and listened. It worked for me and there just might be someone out there today that will hear that message too. So if you want hand holding and flowers - add friends on your list that will do that. Me? I'm going to seek out all the people that will tell me the unvarnished truth.
Sometimes tough love is what SOME people need Not all so let's let people make comments freely. I however need a good spanking sometimes. Like right now. I have a full gym in my basemsnt. I need to get to it tonight. Yes I want this!! and I need to do it. Accountability just means that they need someone to check up on them once and awhile...I need it too!0 -
To the OP - maybe accountability isn't what you meant, maybe you meant support or motivation.
If accountability is actually what you are looking for then I would suggest that maybe you try a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Arrange weekly appointments with both and get a plan for how to make the changes that you want to see. They'll weigh, they'll push you, they'll tell you what to eat.
Even then, It's still going to come down to you being 100% honest with yourself over everything you put you into your mouth and whether you really the 10km bike ride or not.
If you are looking for motivation and support then the forums are great and the people on this site are fantastic. I wish you luck on your journey.
PS
To the lady who called Trog mean - shame on you lady. I'm not sure why so many people were smacking Trog down - he hit the nail on the head. If you can't do this for yourself or your family then why would you do it for some stranger on the internet? At times, weight loss is as hard as climbing Mt Everest and if I had to be accountable to others for how I got then I'd stop logging into this site. Life is more comfortable on the couch.0 -
I've been on several forums where persons are seeking help in being held accountable but this one is the first where several replies are inconsiderate to the OP. You call it being truthful & while yes you are being brutally truthful, you do need a little tact.
Nikki, you have it within yourself to meet your goals. You just need to be dedicated & consistent. I joined MFP in Nov. 2011 but it wasn't until last September that I told myself that I was going to get dedicated & remain consistent until I met my goals. I joined a DietBet hosted by Jillian Michaels (which I won) & that started me on my weight loss journey once again. I got back on MFP & found a group that helps you with accountability. It was just like the DietBet but free. It's called the Ultimate Accountability Challenge. The host has it every month until she herself meets her goal. You can join for the month of March starting the last week of February. Check it out. It might be what you're seeking. Many of the persons that join the UAC are persons seeking help remaining accountable. Feel free to add me. Best of luck to you & remain positive. Just believe that you can do it & you will.0
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