accountability

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  • FABRICWOMAN
    FABRICWOMAN Posts: 539 Member
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    Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:


    What you call mean is exactly what made me get up and do this. Yes, he has lost a lot of weight. So, guess what? He knows what works. It's not mean to tell someone the truth. I had a very wise woman tell me about 8 years ago, "When you're ready to lose the weight - you will". I thought she was mean, too. But you know what? She was right. I listened to the people on here who have been successful and now I am doing this MYSELF. No one and nothing will ever be able to stop me. If I am the last person on the Earth - I will be able to do this everyday.

    So, maybe this won't work for you. But, I was one of the ones that read everything on the forums and listened. It worked for me and there just might be someone out there today that will hear that message too. So if you want hand holding and flowers - add friends on your list that will do that. Me? I'm going to seek out all the people that will tell me the unvarnished truth.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:

    Shame on you lady. He's not bullying anyone. He's being honest. People sometimes need to hear honesty rather than being coddled and have everything delivered to them with a nice sugar coating.

    Honesty =/= mean, harsh, dismissive, non-compassionate, or bullying.

    Come on people.

    Just in case you forgot what bullying ACTUALLY means...
    bul·ly [bool-ee] - noun, plural bul·lies. 1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

    All of which he is NOT doing.

    And let's define honesty.

    hon·es·ty [on-uh-stee] - noun, plural hon·es·ties. 1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.

    And everything Beachlover said. No one can do this unless they want it, they choose it and decide to do it. It really is that simple. I'm not saying losing weight is easy. For years I wanted to lose weight, I knew what needed to be done, but I wasn't ready by any means. I would start, have 1 slip up and start beating myself up so I'd quit. What that really means is I wasn't really ready to lose the weight. When I was in 2012 I did. I made the decision, I chose it, I held myself accountable. I believed in eating/drinking what I want, as long as it fit in my calorie limit. Moderation not deprivation. I also had to stop beating myself up which was easier once I decided I really wanted this.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Accountability (noun) the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions

    By the very definition of the term it is about YOU. YOUR actions. YOUR responsibilities. YOUR obligation. To yourself. This website is a great tool for that, but it doesn't do the work for you, it just helps you stick to the plan. You still have to do it all yourself.
  • greengoddess0123
    greengoddess0123 Posts: 417 Member
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    Yes, ultimately we are all accountable only to ourselves. We supplement that with support systems, both in real life and online. The original post is reaching out to those support systems. I just thought the initial "you have to do it yourself" message, while true, was not in the spirit of reaching out to that community.
  • blmr85
    blmr85 Posts: 57 Member
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    HI!
    Im definitely looking for the same thing as you are. I find it very hard to hold myself accountable and need motivating friends. Im also in the medical field and it seems as if every day that I go to work my coworkers just keep bringing in more and more junk food. I find it very hard to stay away. haha. Feel free to send me a request. would love to help you on your journey
  • Ruth4111gut
    Ruth4111gut Posts: 289 Member
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    I'm here on a daily basis and have open food diary. feel free to add me
  • nikkijames123
    nikkijames123 Posts: 13 Member
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    Way to go TROG! Nothing like kicking someone when they are already down. I have never run into a forum on this site with such low compassion for someone else. This is a first. People come here to be lifted up not torn down. Shame on you. Just because you lost a lot of weight doesn't mean you will not ever gain it back. You need to be careful how you treat people. This smacks of bullying someone. If my day it was just called plain being mean. :frown:


    What you call mean is exactly what made me get up and do this. Yes, he has lost a lot of weight. So, guess what? He knows what works. It's not mean to tell someone the truth. I had a very wise woman tell me about 8 years ago, "When you're ready to lose the weight - you will". I thought she was mean, too. But you know what? She was right. I listened to the people on here who have been successful and now I am doing this MYSELF. No one and nothing will ever be able to stop me. If I am the last person on the Earth - I will be able to do this everyday.

    So, maybe this won't work for you. But, I was one of the ones that read everything on the forums and listened. It worked for me and there just might be someone out there today that will hear that message too. So if you want hand holding and flowers - add friends on your list that will do that. Me? I'm going to seek out all the people that will tell me the unvarnished truth.


    Sometimes tough love is what SOME people need Not all so let's let people make comments freely. I however need a good spanking sometimes. Like right now. I have a full gym in my basemsnt. I need to get to it tonight. Yes I want this!! and I need to do it. Accountability just means that they need someone to check up on them once and awhile...I need it too!
  • fuzzyink72
    fuzzyink72 Posts: 2
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    To the OP - maybe accountability isn't what you meant, maybe you meant support or motivation.

    If accountability is actually what you are looking for then I would suggest that maybe you try a personal trainer and a nutritionist. Arrange weekly appointments with both and get a plan for how to make the changes that you want to see. They'll weigh, they'll push you, they'll tell you what to eat.

    Even then, It's still going to come down to you being 100% honest with yourself over everything you put you into your mouth and whether you really the 10km bike ride or not.

    If you are looking for motivation and support then the forums are great and the people on this site are fantastic. I wish you luck on your journey.

    PS
    To the lady who called Trog mean - shame on you lady. I'm not sure why so many people were smacking Trog down - he hit the nail on the head. If you can't do this for yourself or your family then why would you do it for some stranger on the internet? At times, weight loss is as hard as climbing Mt Everest and if I had to be accountable to others for how I got then I'd stop logging into this site. Life is more comfortable on the couch.
  • SgtBA_Diana
    SgtBA_Diana Posts: 156 Member
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    I've been on several forums where persons are seeking help in being held accountable but this one is the first where several replies are inconsiderate to the OP. You call it being truthful & while yes you are being brutally truthful, you do need a little tact.

    Nikki, you have it within yourself to meet your goals. You just need to be dedicated & consistent. I joined MFP in Nov. 2011 but it wasn't until last September that I told myself that I was going to get dedicated & remain consistent until I met my goals. I joined a DietBet hosted by Jillian Michaels (which I won) & that started me on my weight loss journey once again. I got back on MFP & found a group that helps you with accountability. It was just like the DietBet but free. It's called the Ultimate Accountability Challenge. The host has it every month until she herself meets her goal. You can join for the month of March starting the last week of February. Check it out. It might be what you're seeking. Many of the persons that join the UAC are persons seeking help remaining accountable. Feel free to add me. Best of luck to you & remain positive. Just believe that you can do it & you will.
  • Twentynineyears
    Twentynineyears Posts: 22 Member
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    I'm all for accountability and motivation but honestly, if that switch isn't turned on for you to make that change, nothing anyone has to say will help. Trog is completely right.
    I spend way too many years knowing what I should be doing and not doing it. I wasn't ready to make the change. And now I am here, doing what I can to make those changes. Everyone can use a pick me up, but if you aren't ready to do this for yourself and for your family, no one can make you.
  • tufchic
    tufchic Posts: 10 Member
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    Hi Nikki,
    Thats why i'm here also accountability. My first reccomendation for you is post a picture of yourself. It takes the anonymity away Yikes! No more doing this anonymously. But it works if you feel like people can "see you". Also get some friends. Good luck!
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
    - Carol Burnett
  • HerbertNenenger
    HerbertNenenger Posts: 453 Member
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    If you can't do it for yourself.. or for your kids... why do you think that internet strangers are going to be able to do that for you?

    You've been on here since Nov 2012, full access to a forum full of people that provide success stories, tips, and help.

    We can't do it for you.

    This is why people come here, to be with like-minded people of the same hopes, dreams and goals. It doesn't hurt anyone to be supportive. She can go to youtube and facebook to get negative feedback. pooh pooh.
  • HerbertNenenger
    HerbertNenenger Posts: 453 Member
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    Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
    - Carol Burnett

    She didn't ask anyone to change her life. geesh.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
    - Carol Burnett

    She didn't ask anyone to change her life. geesh.

    Losing weight is a lifestyle change. It's a change only the person can hold themselves accountable for. Other people can support her, yes, but can anyone make her change or hold her accountable? No.

    ETA: Geesh.

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