Gym Anxiety- Advice? Your experience

chelseabuns88
chelseabuns88 Posts: 77 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been here (MFP) for some time now, yo-yoing, tracking and not tracking, losing and gaining… But this year I've made a real lifestyle change, I'm happy with my diet (it's not perfect, but it's working for me; speaking of which, I do have an open diary if anyone wants to be my friend!), I'm motivated and I'm on a downward trend… I feel confident it will continue, I'm happy.

But now I've reached this 'happy stage', I want to push myself further… I want to join the *dun dun dunnnn* GYM. "So do it then", I hear you cry…Oh, I wish it were that easy, stepping foot into 'the gym', the place I've never dared tread… The place not made for people like me.

I've been telling myself I'll patiently wait until my body isn't THAT abnormal, then I'll go. But will I ever feel that way about myself?! Probably not, and why wait to find out? Why wait for something that MIGHT happen, when I'm ready now?! The only thing holding me back is fear of the unknown, I know that once I'm signed up, I've been once and I know what I'm doing, I won't be too perturbed by sideways glances, etc… But I need to know what to expect?

I've read plenty of threads here about 'the gym', some with positive message that gym-goers are there to do their business, not to concern themselves with fat people attempting to get fit, others mentioning being (or at least feeling they are being) laughed at, heckled… or worst still, the people who express annoyance at the newbies trying to better their bodies. I suppose there will always be variance, but I'd like to know your personal experience…

How did you feel the first time you stepped into a gym and how did you cope with negative feelings (if you experienced them). Also I'd like to know a bit about general protocol, when you first sign up, does someone escort you round, explaining equipment and stuff?

I know this sounds quite ridiculous, but I'm a very anxious person who suffers from severe panic attacks… I like to be as prepared as possible, so I can smother the feelings of anxiety (the fear of possibly having a panic attack often outweighs the severity of the panic attack itself).
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Replies

  • Sweatinglikeapigtolooklikeafox
    Sweatinglikeapigtolooklikeafox Posts: 189 Member
    The first time I ever set foot in a gym I was scared and timid but honestly looking round...no-one even looked up at me, Im 17st...I am hard to miss but I promise you no-one even battered an eyelid at me. I took my ipod, put on my loudest music which I enjoy far more than the stuff they play at the gym (although I now work out with someone so being anti-social isnt me) and crack on.
    At times I have no idea what I am doing but I've found stuff I enjoy, like weights, boxing etc. and try and use that to stop me feeling like I am being watched.
    I walk into the weights room, head held high and get on with what I need to do, the guys are too busy looking at themselves and grunting to pay me any attention.

    I hope this helps, I love the gym and I hope you start to as well
  • daniflems
    daniflems Posts: 69 Member
    I think it's natural and fine to be anxious about joining the gym. I also felt that way when I first started going. You feel like everyone is watching you (they aren't) and that they somehow know you've never been there and don't know what you're doing (they don't).

    My advice is to go there and just get down to business. I'm pretty sure most gyms have a tour to break in new members and show you how all the machines work and run etc.

    I know that myself once I'm at the gym I'm there to do my thing and get out and don't pay much attention to anyone else there.

    My only other piece of advice is to be serious about being there; don't sit on a machine feeling hopeless and not doing anything...that is a pet peeve of mine. If the gym is crowded and machines are hard to come by there is nothing more frustrating than someone just sitting there and taking up the machine not doing anything. I've seen it quite often.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Take a gym-frequenting friend with you the first few times. If you don't have anyone to go with, hire a trainer for just one session. Have them show you how to set up weights/machines on your own so you get familiar with it. Write those things down so you don't forget, and bring the info with you next time.

    Then when you come in alone, wear head phones to drown out other people. Wear a baseball cap if it helps you avoid making eye contact. Have a game plan. Don't just wander around dawdling. Nobody really cares what others do at the gym as long as you're not getting in their way, but if you look lost you're more likely to attract attention.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    People are there to work out and get fit. If you simply go in, be polite, and do your thing you will find that for the most part no one will even pay attention to you. Of course, if you need help and ask for it politely, you will also find that many people will readily give you a hand.
  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
    I totes magotes understand where you're coming from :cauliflowerforyou:

    A few things that helped me:
    1) educate yourself. Walking in there knowing you have a plan and you've done your homework (what is proper form, how do I use the machines, etc.) will make you feel loads more confident then going in lost.
    2) wear what you're comfortable in. If running leggings make you self conscious about your thighs, nix them. If short shorts are going to prevent you from learning how to squat properly, trash those too. For instance, I'm self conscious about how thin my arms are so I wear rolled-up long sleeve t shirts on days I'm working those muscles. Small things like that can make all the difference.
    3) take a friend! I was very fortunate to have my gym rat friend take me under his wing when I first started working out in earnest. If you don't have friends who are into the fitness thang, then don't be afraid to ask the trainers for help. Along those lines, don't be afraid to ask others for help. Embarassing as it is, I don't quite have the muscles to lift the bar on the squat rack up and down when readjusting the height. However, I'd much rather be embarrassed for 30 seconds asking someone to help me than dying when the bar squishes me.

    At the end of the day, you're doing this for you. You got this :flowerforyou:
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,093 Member
    I think these days most gyms in the U.S. (at least the for-profit ones -- as opposed to a county-funded facility) will have someone (from sales) give you a tour when you first express an interest. Unless you're absolutely sure (because of location, price, or whatever) that this is the only gym you want to consider, you may want to ask them if they have a free trial period. Most do, although it might only be a few days. The last one I joined I used a Living Social deal for a half-price one-month membership to see what it was like before signing a contract. Then if you're not sure at the end of the trial, you could try another one the same way, until you find one where you feel comfortable and where they offer things (cardio machines, weight machines, free weights, cardio classes, Pilates or yoga classes, kick boxing, a pool -- whatever floats your boat).

    After you sign up, most gyms offer one or two free sessions with a personal trainer, and usually what they do is set you up with a workout schedule, and obviously they should show you how to use any machines or how to do any exercises you're unfamiliar with that are part of that schedule, but remember that you're paying for it as part of your membership -- it's only "free" in the sense that there's no extra charge -- so you should feel like you can ask the trainer for any specific advice on your form for exercises you want to do, how to use machines you're interested in.

    When you first meet with the sales person, ask them what kind of free PT sessions come with a new membership.

    I've used gyms for over 30 years, starting in my late teens, from probably the high end of my healthy BMI range through overweight to obese. I've used gyms at two different universities, at least five different county-run gym facilities, and five different for-profit gyms. In all those years, I never got the feeling people were looking at me, except a few guys when I was in my 20s who ended up asking me out, and people who wanted to use equipment I was using but didn't want to ask to work in (that means using the equipment while someone else is resting between sets) for whatever reason. And while I admit there were times when I felt uncomfortable using free weights when that area seemed to be crowded with the heavy-lifting dudes in their weight belts (who, oddly, seemed to spend a lot more time talking than actually lifting heavy, but I guess the gym is their social hangout), that's really on me. None of them was ever actually rude to me. Sometimes they even offered advice, and sometimes it was good advice, or at least I had no reason to think it was bad advice.

    Good luck. I'd say the most important thing is to find a gym you'll actually use. Gyms sell a lot of memberships that don't get used much after the first month or two.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
    I was at about 250 when I signed up at Planet fitness _ I know ,I know , some people on here hate Planet fitness - but I work out of town for three weeks every three weeks and I'm happy paying a small price for something I can't use all the time... and I like Planet Fitness :)

    Anyhow - I felt no judgement at all ( ugh sounding like a comercial ) I was scared too ,But I too put on my head phones and didn't look anyone in the eyes . haha .

    I did see one young guy look at my big stomach one time like he couldn't believe I was that big( all in my head maybe? ) anyhow so what ? I didn't know him ... and what am I going to do ...stay fat ? no way , I'm going to work out .

    and after that when I saw someone looking uncomfortable I always make a point to smile at them and say hello if I can .. If I know how I show them how to turn on a machine if they are having trouble because we all know how it feels to be new ...


    I still think it was the best investment I have made - even if I was afraid to go in at first .
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    One thing you should remember before you go is that you are not going to Globo-gym. There is nobody standing with a velvet rope to deem you good looking enough to enter. Those types of gyms are only in the movies. The real gyms out there are like Joe's Gym. Just regular people of all fitness levels congregating to try to get healthier.

    Yes, there are fit people. There are also lots of unfit people trying to become fit people. If you join a YMCA, you will probably see families. Lots and lots of families. If you're afraid of what commercial gyms might be like, then find a Y because they're almost universally welcoming.

    But no matter where you join, the people who are inside the gym are almost always going to be regular Joes just trying to get healthy. You won't find many fitness models.

    Just go and don't worry what anyone might think of you. Do it for you and you alone.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    One thing you should remember before you go is that you are not going to Globo-gym. There is nobody standing with a velvet rope to deem you good looking enough to enter. Those types of gyms are only in the movies. The real gyms out there are like Joe's Gym. Just regular people of all fitness levels congregating to try to get healthier.

    Yes, there are fit people. There are also lots of unfit people trying to become fit people. If you join a YMCA, you will probably see families. Lots and lots of families. If you're afraid of what commercial gyms might be like, then find a Y because they're almost universally welcoming.

    But no matter where you join, the people who are inside the gym are almost always going to be regular Joes just trying to get healthy. You won't find many fitness models.

    Just go and don't worry what anyone might think of you. Do it for you and you alone.

    Love this!! And the dodgeball reference lolz
  • chelseabuns88
    chelseabuns88 Posts: 77 Member
    Thank you everybody =)

    The first step is always the hardest, I just needed that push (/a loud voice telling me the paranoia is unwarranted)!

    I will be investigating all my options this week… I'm looking forward to it!
  • nikkylyn
    nikkylyn Posts: 325 Member
    you just gotta fake it till you make it

    Ive been with the same gym for 10 years. For some reason after I had my third baby in 4 years I was not feeling quite so confident. So you just gotta go get your butt to the gym and go from there.

    Start small!
  • bobbijodmb
    bobbijodmb Posts: 463 Member
    The first time I went I was overwhelmed and I didn't know what I was doing. I just kept telling myself, that everyone starts out feeling like this and just keep doing what I am doing and I will gain confidence. Well it works, and now i look out for other new people and try to guide them along =)
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I think it's natural and fine to be anxious about joining the gym. I also felt that way when I first started going. You feel like everyone is watching you (they aren't) and that they somehow know you've never been there and don't know what you're doing (they don't).

    Yup, I'd have the same advice.

    Or, go one step further. If you're concerned about the gym, join a gym with a pool and go swimming a few times. After THAT, you won't give a flying fig about being in the weight room, if for no other reason than the fact that you're clothed.

    I know after my tri training last year, I have no concern about being in the gym now.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Unfortunately I do not have any great words of wisdom for you. I have gone to gyms with friends a handful of times but always for a one-time event and specific reason like walking a track, swimming, etc.

    The thing that always kept me from joining a gym (along with anxiety) was that a lot of gyms, even the Y, required a weigh-in, doctor's note, and/or initial meeting with a trainer and I did not want to do ANY of that stuff! Actually now that I'm feeling "semi normal" at 194 lb (as I am 37 and that's the lowest I've weighed since age 15) I think the anxiety might be even worse because I know there are soooo many women much heavier than I am who are actually in better shape when it comes to working out. Every time I read about someone else who is at 250 lb and running and doing chin ups and push ups it makes me think OMG and wanna hide underneath my comforter LOL

    What it all boils down to is that I am a competitive perfectionist and I don't like being the newbie or the worst at things. The idea of going to a gym and working out makes me 100X more nervous than giving a speech to hundreds of people or going to a big job interview. Those things are no big deal to me.

    Anyway yep. Gym anxiety. hehe
  • kellyk1111
    kellyk1111 Posts: 7
    I was very anxious about joining the gym as well. I found one that has both a regular area (that everyone can use) and a Ladies area, that's just for women. I am much more comfortable there, but I have just started venturing out to the regular area as I get more comfortable overall. The ladies area has a few cardio machines and about 1/4 of the weight machines that the regular area has. It also has dumb bells, benches etc.

    Maybe you can find a place like that and you would be more comfortable?
  • JessieNeutronGirlGenius
    JessieNeutronGirlGenius Posts: 268
    My only bad experience from a gym was when I got my hair cut into my fauxhawk and now I look like the "obvious" lesbian (not that I think that is what I look like but that is the stereotype these days) and I get glares from the typical older generation and stares from people in general I mean, If I saw a kick *kitten* chick with a fauxhawk lifting heavy weights I'd stare too (just kidding I'm not that conceited) but the best advice I can give you is have confidence, hold your head up high, and show them your strength with a smile on your face. That typical saying, "Keep your head up high, people would kill to see you fall" well, there you go. Prove everyone (everyone meaning the awkward people in the gym) and yourself that you can do it!
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member

    The thing that always kept me from joining a gym (along with anxiety) was that a lot of gyms, even the Y, required a weigh-in, doctor's note, and/or initial meeting with a trainer and I did not want to do ANY of that stuff!

    I've never encountered this at Gold's, the YMCA, or any of the several independent gyms to which I've had memberships. Some will offer a free personal training appointment but you can always decline it. That said, having someone walk you around a gym can be very helpful for someone new.
  • sarcasticgrl
    sarcasticgrl Posts: 1
    Hello! I find the classes are the best place to start. Then maybe you can meet a workout buddy! Good luck!
  • shannova
    shannova Posts: 28
    I totally understand your fear of joining the gym. I have been the same way for so long. But just like you, I feel like I've gotten my diet in control and I needed to do something more. So I did it - I joined the gym last week! I've gone 5 times so far and it's not NEARLY as scary as I thought it would be! Granted, each time I've had someone to go with me, and today I'm going to have to go by myself for the 1st time and I'm very nervous about that, but I know I can do it. I just need to get out of the house, into the car and get to the gym and I'll be fine once I'm there.
    I am no where near where I want to be with my body and sure, I see all the ones at the gym who are so fit and thin but I also see others like me as well, so that helps. I just put my headphones in if I'm doing the treadmill or bike and do my time and it's not bad. The whole time I'm telling myself how proud I am that I'm in the gym, I'm getting in my exercise and I'm getting that much closer to my goal!
    YOU CAN DO THIS! I promise!

    (And just a side note: the day I joined I did my personal training assessment and my trainer - who was drop dead gorgeous and in excellent shape! - said that even after working there for a year, he still gets like that sometimes when he walks in the door. So even the ones who are in shape can feel self conscience about themselves too) ;)
  • liftsforchocolate
    liftsforchocolate Posts: 273
    Hey, at least you didn't accidentally drop the squat bar on yourself the first day lol. True story, but I made a gym buddy after that. :)

    I also didn't know the gym showers water temp could be adjusted, so I was taking cold showers for like 2 months lol
  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 357 Member
    Earbuds. That is my secret weapon. From the time I leave the locker room til I return, I am inside my head, listening to my music while I do whatever it is I'm doing that day. It's like there is an invisible wall around me.

    Orientations helped, so I at least had a clue what the "stuff" was for and how to make them work but as a hard core introvert, what helped the most was having that wall of music around me.

    Ginger is right that you'll see all kinds of people at your gym, and for me, that was encouraging. They felt like "normal" people and not juiced up supermodels. I have been going for a while now and will occasionally leave my space to smile at another regular or say "hey" to someone I see all the time, but mostly, as many have said, everyone else is pretty much in to their own thing as well.

    There are a few brahillas I see routinely who I see leering at random people. But those two I just make fun of in my head because they are like conjoined twins, newly separated. But everyone else? Just people doing the same thing that I'm doing.

    Just go. You won't regret it. Anxiety will decrease and comfort will come. Unless you are wearing magenta spandex; I'm still waiting to be comfortable in them.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    I was also terrified to start the gym. I walked for the first three months of my journey, lost 43 pounds and signed up on Nov 1st, I almost threw up with nerves in the parking lot before going in to get a membership. It was all for nothing! As soon as I walked in, I was comfortable. The first step is always the hardest!! I love the gym now. I go everyday. The gym staff is always nice to me. I'm still pretty big at 213 pounds. But I bust my *kitten* off like anyone else and feel amazing when I leave. You can do it!!! It's nowhere as bad as you think it will be.
  • pinksmama
    pinksmama Posts: 40
    I really despise the whole gym experience, beyond the normal anxieties, it's just a pain in my *kitten* plus now that I have a little one, extra no thanks..

    Can you not work out at home? I mean if you really don't like it or get really anxious, why not try alternatives? No point in torturing yourself when there is lots of workable options.

    I will say, I prefer classes at the gym above just making the cardio/strength machines rounds...
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    I highly recommend asking about trainer options for the first few rounds at the gym. The trainer can show you the basics (how to do some basic lifts, how to operate the cardio equipment), and then once you get into the swing of things, look into a good lifting program (you could hire a trainer to do this, or lots of people highly recommend the book the New Rules of Weightlifting for Women, if you feel comfortable doing it on your own). Getting some help the first few times is a really great idea, and I still go to trainers from time to time to get some new tips, or to mix things up.

    I've been going to a gym on and off for 16+ years. I've been there at my heaviest (close to 300), my fittest (165 - note, I am back on the heavy side again now) and everything in between. From my own experience, I will tell you that I dealt with a lot more "attention" (both positive, negative, sideways glances, etc) when I was at my fittest. People watch more of what you are doing, ask for more tips, compete with you on the cardio machines, and you get some unwanted attention.

    At my heaviest (two years or so ago - I'm still very overweight now, but strength training has caused me to lose a few sizes), no one at the gym pays me any attention, except for the gym buddies I've met, and that's just to say hi briefly. Some of this may be because I'm a regular (so I'm at the gym 3-5x a week), so most folks are used to seeing me there, but honestly, for the most part, people are just there to work out. People who are there to be snarky rarely end up being there regularly, and you won't see them there for long (although, to be honest, I can't even remember the last time anyone at the gym was snarky - and I am a big girl who sweats her butt off at the gym). A lot of the other regulars I see are all different weights too - some my size, some much, much thinner, and we're all very nice to one another because we all know that we are regulars, and there to do work.

    So see if you can get an employee to help you out the first few times, and if you end up going regularly, you won't be nervous anymore. And I don't know if my gym is like a special snowflake or something, but honestly, no one there is crappy about anyone else. We're all just there to sweat it out.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member

    The thing that always kept me from joining a gym (along with anxiety) was that a lot of gyms, even the Y, required a weigh-in, doctor's note, and/or initial meeting with a trainer and I did not want to do ANY of that stuff!

    I've never encountered this at Gold's, the YMCA, or any of the several independent gyms to which I've had memberships. Some will offer a free personal training appointment but you can always decline it. That said, having someone walk you around a gym can be very helpful for someone new.

    I wouldn't mind that stuff now (although the doc note might be inconvenient to obtain) but when I was much heavier it really freaked me out. I am glad to hear it's not like that everywhere. I know Curves (are they even still around?) and our local Y both required notes and weigh-ins for new members.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    i started out super self-conscious about my workouts: i park it on the mat and do at least 30 min of physical therapy consisting of modified yoga/stretching/bodyweight/dance ("fauxga") that looks like posing for a kama sutra manual and i'm not at all kidding about this: rear in the air, legs over head, spread legs, sticking out rear, etc. going in i thought it would be really awkward, for myself and anyone around me. turns out not to be the case. surprise, surprise! no one stares at me. if anything, it seems like peeps avoid me during my routine (which is defo best for me, and prolly best for them too). if peeps at my gym can ignore the girl doing the stripper routine on the mat, i think you'll be fine.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    My only bad experience from a gym was when I got my hair cut into my fauxhawk and now I look like the "obvious" lesbian (not that I think that is what I look like but that is the stereotype these days) and I get glares from the typical older generation and stares from people in general I mean, If I saw a kick *kitten* chick with a fauxhawk lifting heavy weights I'd stare too (just kidding I'm not that conceited) but the best advice I can give you is have confidence, hold your head up high, and show them your strength with a smile on your face. That typical saying, "Keep your head up high, people would kill to see you fall" well, there you go. Prove everyone (everyone meaning the awkward people in the gym) and yourself that you can do it!


    I am the typical lesbian with a fauxhawk. no problems here. but i wear a hat most days. lol
  • goalie234
    goalie234 Posts: 97 Member
    Well this is what i read before joining the gym ... Try it ... It worked brilliantly for me .. And i have this bookmarked for life .. Lol

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/easy-steps-to-start-not-giving-a-f
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member

    The thing that always kept me from joining a gym (along with anxiety) was that a lot of gyms, even the Y, required a weigh-in, doctor's note, and/or initial meeting with a trainer and I did not want to do ANY of that stuff!

    I've never encountered this at Gold's, the YMCA, or any of the several independent gyms to which I've had memberships. Some will offer a free personal training appointment but you can always decline it. That said, having someone walk you around a gym can be very helpful for someone new.

    I wouldn't mind that stuff now (although the doc note might be inconvenient to obtain) but when I was much heavier it really freaked me out. I am glad to hear it's not like that everywhere. I know Curves (are they even still around?) and our local Y both required notes and weigh-ins for new members.

    I can see that being an impediment for new members. That's a shame that they feel those are necessary in some areas.
  • walkinthedogs
    walkinthedogs Posts: 238 Member
    I hear you on the panic feelings. My biggest fear was the weight room because at the Rec Center I go to, it is mostly men and I am intimidated by the weights because I don't really feel like I "know" what I'm doing, but I found a weight training program, read and read and read, watched video's and practiced form like crazy, read forums here and that helped my anxiety a ton. So I picked a time when they were the least busy and just went in and worked. Loved it! For me, it's getting over that first time hump, once I've done something one time, I then know I can do it and the anxiety is diminished and the more I go, the more the anxiety goes completely away.

    This really isn't the on the subject, but it helps me when I'm scared to try something new. I have a sister that has cerebral palsy. She is one of the "lucky" one's, as she can walk, mostly unassisted, she uses a cane now and again, when some are wheelchair bound. CP affects motor skills, not intelligence. She goes to the gym every day and water walks. She gets stared at all the time, no matter where she goes and what she does, but she does it anyway. She does it anyway. I don't know if I could, I don't know if I could do what she does because she gets stared at all the time. I know because I watch people and watch them watch her. People are generally never rude to her, although we've encountered some real a-holes as well, but they stare. She's different, she walks funny and talks funny and people stare, but she does it anyway. And that's what I tell myself, She.Does,It,Anyway. You can go to the gym, you'll be fine.

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