No one understands/supports me trying to lose weight :/

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  • brdnw
    brdnw Posts: 565 Member
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    i don't know why you care, i didn't tell anyone i was trying to lose weight when i did, i just did it. Right now people tell me that i don't need to lose anyweight even though i want to drop another 10 or so, and i just find them to be ignorant and it doesn't bother me for a minute.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Unfortunately, I've not been in that position yet, but my husband has. My familiy started telling him he looked underweight and gaunt, that he didn't look healthy. He was at the low end of him BMI, and was trying to build muscle at the time, so I wasn't worried - I knew his goals. I knew he was finally able to show a 6-pack and was very proud of himself. Then like you said, people have to put in their two cents worth - that he looked underweight and unhealthy. UGH.

    You're doing this for you. Not for the approval of other people. Don't let htem know you're trying to lose weight. Don't give the fools the time of day.
  • piejin
    piejin Posts: 41 Member
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    I had that when I wanted to lose vanity pounds as well. People don't want you to get thinner/fitter than they are for fear that you will look better than you already do! People are jealous. Remember that. Think about your goals and phrase them in ways that people can't argue with - oh yeah I'm trying to exercise more, looking to get fit, want to eat healthier, etc.

    I'm also on the "my weight is ok but I could look better" train. I'm eating at a very slight deficit (200 cals about) to the point that it might be maintenance, and doing strength training to build muscle. I know to really build muscle I have to bulk up but I just don't think I'm lean enough for it yet! So I'm really just getting into strength and cutting slowly so that I have enough nutrients for my muscles. I tell people I'm "monitoring my eating" and "going to the gym" so that they don't think I have unhealthy goals or anything!

    It sounds like we're in the same boat! That's a really good way to approach it when I have to tell people about it, so I think I'll try that, thank you. :)

    Thank you to everyone for the helpful suggestions! I thinnk I will just keep plowing ahead and try harder to make sure nobody finds out. To the people suggesting I do heavy weightlifting, I'm not sure how that would benefit me since I was under the impression people lift heavy to build muscle, which I'm definitely not going to do while eating at a deficit and trying to lose weight. I am doing strength training with dumbbells and bodyweight exercises for now, which I think is adequate when my main goal is losing body fat, but I will keep your suggestions in mind for when I eventually reach my short term goals.
  • fatgirlslove
    fatgirlslove Posts: 614 Member
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    forget them! They don't have to live in your skin... you do. I say do what makes you happy.
  • CaitlinW19
    CaitlinW19 Posts: 431 Member
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    Agree, don't talk about it if you don't have to. I get that you might be in situations where it's bound to get noticed that you aren't eating the free lunch or whatever it might be, so it situations where you might need to explain yourself, don't tell people you are trying to "loose weight". You are trying to attain a more fit, toned body, which is different. Tell people you don't "have to lose weight", you want to be fitter. Identifying that agreement that you don't "have to lose weight" should help people see that you aren't looking for drastic change (which is what people think of when someone says they are on a diet).
  • SeattleRaven
    SeattleRaven Posts: 40
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    I would ultimately like to gain muscle, but I know that means putting on some more fat, and that seems counterproductive when I can't even prove to myself I can lose all the fat in the first place. Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of going the "build muscle, put on some fat" route and finding that I can't lose the fat later and end up worse than where I started... So right now my short-term goal is to get down to a lower body fat % so I know I'm capable of doing it and can pursue weightlifting without worrying. Right now my exercise is usually a mix of T25 in the mornings every day and in the afternoons I alternate between Insanity workouts and P90X's strength workouts. I also usually walk for 1-2 hours a day.

    So, muscle is not fat. Having more lean muscle mass will make your body burn more calories. I feel like your focus on 5 lbs is misplaced, when it would "show up" more in results if you focused on being more toned. I recommend yoga...you'd lose inches, even if you don't lose pounds--your clothes would fit noticeably differently in 6-8 weeks. And you'd feel stronger.
  • RockStarlaa
    RockStarlaa Posts: 24 Member
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    I wouldn't put it into the terms "I'm trying to lose weight, lose fat, etc..." rather IF anyone asks why you're not eating like you used to or you're exercising more just say "I'm trying to be healthier/make healthier choices." And notice I said IF. There's no reason to broadcast it to everyone. It's nobody's business really. And like someone else mentioned people tend to get annoyed with the ones that are constantly talking about dieting/losing weight/etc. Good luck!!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    As someone who has been overweight/obese since my early teens and even before, it is difficult to imagine this. However, I do understand and feel that your concern is a real one.

    Approaching this I tried to think of times in the past (long before I joined MFP and so on) when I have known women and men who looked quite thin to me but wanted to lose weight/fat/etc. I really didn't pay much attention, UNLESS they talked about it constantly and in those cases I generally thought they were whiny and seeking attention for their already-lean bodies.

    BUT - totally opposite...I thought they knew what they were talking about if they mentioned things that sounded more in the realm of fitness such as body fat percentages, stamina, agility, endurance, specific fitness goals and so on. Maybe if you come up with a few general comments such as that, it will ward off the negative comments? Or follow the advice of just not bringing it up.

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