Friends aren't supportive?

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  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Can you go to the gym first and then go out with them? If someone asks me to go out on a gym night, I'll say "sure, I need to swing by the gym first, so pick you up about 7?". That way, I get my workout in, and then go have fun time.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Also, I question how much they are your friends if they say things like this. My friends are happy I'm getting healthy, and they won't expect me to quit working out or be careful about my eating when I reach my goal weight.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
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    if you really don't want to lose their friendship, (I would, but that's just me), I would just take what they say with a grain of salt, and when they get fatter and you get thinner, they'll be even more jealous, and that will be a kind of sweet justice for them being so unsupportive of you. Good Luck!
  • TheGirlsATimeBomb
    TheGirlsATimeBomb Posts: 434 Member
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    Some good advice here. If you are the smallest person in your group of friends, it's also possible that they genuinely believe that you're getting too small—especially if you live somewhere where a lot of people are overweight or obese. They might actually be concerned—not that it would make their remarks any easier to take.

    thanks again for showing me the other side, but i am a BIG girl. there is no way in HELL anyone could think i might be getting "too skinny"
    Can you go to the gym first and then go out with them? If someone asks me to go out on a gym night, I'll say "sure, I need to swing by the gym first, so pick you up about 7?". That way, I get my workout in, and then go have fun time.

    i work at 6am and have an hour commute, gym class at 7, so by the time i'm home and showered it's 9 at night, and just no. no no no.
  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
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    I'm going to play devil's advocate here. If your friends are that much heavier than you, they are finding it hard to be sympathetic to you having to lose only 10 -15 pounds. I have a lot of weight to lose and have to deal with those who say they are sooooo fat and really aren't. You seem to be appropriate about not broadcasting weight loss or gym workouts. You are wise to stop the weight gain before it gets out of control. True friends or not, sometimes they just cannot empathize but they should be gracious enough to not say anything.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,871 Member
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    Fortunately, as you get older, your circle of "friends" becomes smaller...to include only actual friends...and these sorts of problems tend to be non-existent. In just a few short years, you will still associate with just a fraction of these people at best. At your age everyone is changing and choosing directions...yours obviously lies down a different path.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    Anybody successful at any major accomplishment, or even the pursuit of such, will face opposition from somebody in their life. Some of us face very little, others much.

    A lot of people have real difficulty adapting to change. Sounds like your group is mostly comprised of fat people. Do you think it's easy for most of them to see you succeeding at that which they've likely struggled with, and failed? You're on a road that often brings up insecurities in those around you, fat or otherwise.

    Embrace those who support you and ignore those who don't. Keep on ordering what you like, and lose as much as you chose. Stop justifying your behavior; it's none of their business what you eat, what you weigh. They'll eiter get over it or move on.
  • stacysum
    stacysum Posts: 32
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    Maybe try an outing that doesn't involve food. Get your friends active with you. I stopped hanging out with my couch potato friends so much and keep myself busy with friends that like hiking and biking. Even when I was dating, I would only meet or go out with guys that live an active lifestyle. It's hard doing it alone and you can use all the motivation you can get.
  • seaberry09
    seaberry09 Posts: 38 Member
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    It's not about you, it's about them.

    You can either:
    a) do nothing
    b) say something
    or c) distance yourself

    Personally, I don't have the time or energy to spend with people who belittle me constantly, so I would choose c.

    I hope you can find some peeps you have more in common with!
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Fortunately, as you get older, your circle of "friends" becomes smaller...to include only actual friends...and these sorts of problems tend to be non-existent. In just a few short years, you will still associate with just a fraction of these people at best. At your age everyone is changing and choosing directions...yours obviously lies down a different path.

    ^^This.
  • writergeek313
    writergeek313 Posts: 390 Member
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    "Wonder you're so hell-bent on being a douchecanoe every time we go out to eat?"

    :laugh:

    You're really smart to be proactive and take care of your health when you're young. Don't be ashamed of that. Your friends probably resent that you're having more success than they are (or else they're not ready to try getting healthy yet). Maybe if you're spending time with one of them apart from the others you could casually mention that what they're doing is embarrassing or hurtful. As others have mentioned, maybe you can try to move away from always going out to eat with them so what you choose to eat/not eat isn't a big deal. You also might try to start making some other friends if you can, at school or in an exercise class if you're in one.

    You're at the age I was when I started realizing how totally different I was from my high school friends. We eventually grew apart because we had different interests and different priorities in life. You want people in your life who are going to support you and what's important to you, and if your friends don't ease up on making fun of you, maybe they're not the friends you thought they were after all.

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