I need advice

Options
2»

Replies

  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Options
    I can't help but the only way for me to deal with overeating is view myself as being addicted. I am not trying to get rid of any blame, but I just start and don't want to stop. When I have been at work all day and had no access to food I don't even go there with the overeating if that makes sense. I am not sure what others feel about this analogy..

    It's not so much as an addiction as a very powerfully conditioned response which you have created and reinforced over time. I know Gillian Riley in one of the books I recommended talks of an "addictive" desire but I think more accurately it is an unconscious compulsive desire. However the feelings that this conditioning creates - feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, despair, and so on can make it seem remarkably close to an addiction.

    The fact that you do not feel compelled to eat when there is no free access to food at work suggests this is true as well. If you had been addicted then you would have sought out food no matter the environment.

    The good news is if you can condition yourself to over eat then you can also condition yourself not to do so using specific techniques. With an addiction abstinence is required, with that you are experiencing that is not the case. You truly can have it all...
  • slimmalikah
    slimmalikah Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Morning! It's all about timing. You have to finally be tired of the person you see in the mirror and then it will motivate you to change. I have said "I'm going to exercise and change my eating" for a few years now. But about three weeks ago I just decided it was time. I'm still a "newby" two weeks in but I refuse to give up this time around. You'll change when you desire it more than your chocolate. lol Good luck to you on your journey.
  • hoyalawya2003
    hoyalawya2003 Posts: 631 Member
    Options
    Didn't read all of the replies, but I am going to recommend one more book: the Beck Diet Solution. It is not a diet per se, it is cognitive behavioral therapy to change your relationship to food and eating. I found it immensely helpful when I had gotten off track, given up, and regained 20 lbs. It is not an overnight fix, but it helps you overcome the perfectionist and the food reward mindsets, which were something I struggle with too.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Options
    Tagging because I want to come back and comment on this later, running out the door right now. :flowerforyou:
  • HappyNewTamera2014
    HappyNewTamera2014 Posts: 91
    Options
    Rarely is one born into the world being perfect at any particular task.....this is why you must practice. If you want it bad enough you will do it over and over until you get to where you consider perfect. If you let a bad day defeat you then you do not want it as bas as you say.....you would rather wallow in your temp failures instead of "perfect" them. Just do it...do not speak of it...do not wish for it.....none of us helped you get here, you landed here on your own.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Options
    In reading your post, I don't think your problem is with food. I don't think you have food addiction or issues with food. I think the problem lies with the change in your life situation in becoming a mum and being at home with your little one. I know what it's like not to bother with your appearance because you aren't going anywhere; to eat when you are tired, or frustrated, or bored; to not care what you eat because you feel stuck and unable to do the things you need to do to lose weight; piling on the food because you're not happy, all the while knowing that the food isn't going to make you happy, but not eating it isn't going to make you happy or the weight magically fall off either, so you might as well eat the food and enjoy the emotional comfort/sugar rush.

    I don't think that you necessarily don't want it enough, I think you're just overwhelmed by obstacles right now. I don't know enough about your situation to say "do this to succeed," but what I can do is ask you "what CAN you do that you know you can succeed at?" I know you said you are an all or nothing person, and as a mum myself, sometimes little victories and "good enough" are the way to go just to keep your sanity. I started this journey just by adding in 30 min of exercise a day. I knew trying to cut my food intake was going to be a recipe for disaster at that point, but I could exercise. I knew I could do that. Even if there weren't any results (and there were not for about 7 weeks until I got my diet in check), I could say that I was able to accomplish that each day. So what's the one thing you know you can do?
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Options
    I agree it is totally an addiction. One grain of sugar for me and I can't stop. I view it the same way.

    Oh, for the love of...

    :noway:
  • SusanUW83
    SusanUW83 Posts: 152 Member
    Options
    I suggest making small changes at a time that will ultimately motivate you as you have success with those. Make your "usual" serving size smaller at least a couple of times today. Substitute something healthy for your usual "faves" at least once a day -- i.e. sweet potato for white potato, or broccoli or green beans for your starch. Substitute ground turkey for high fat hamburger meat. Eat your salad dressing on the side -- if you dip your fork into the dressing and then grab some salad, the calories are significantly less even if you use your favorite high cal dressing. If you don't want to count calories, track the number of "small successes" you have per day and try to add gradually increase it until you find you enjoy eating healthy with good habits instead of thinking of it as a chore.

Categories