How to say no.

HeathIsKey2014
HeathIsKey2014 Posts: 12
in Health and Weight Loss
:embarassed:

So after venting my frustrations yesterday about emotional eating and I decided to get up this morning, plan out my day - including my meals and calories. I am sitting at my desk and a coworker drops off a double meat croissant sandwich with eggs and cheese he bought a few of the ladies around the pod we work in - not to mention a bag of chips and a soda. I WANT TO SCREAM. So, if I don't eat it I am being rude - but if I do I am no closer to meeting this goal that I set two years ago! But things like this happen all the time - it's a part of life - so if yesterday taught me anything it is that I am not alone and other people have similar issues going on. So what do you do? An extra hour of working out? Because between me and you - he watched us eat it.
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Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    You are NOT being rude by not eating it. You did not ask for it and he did not ask if you wanted it before buying it.

    I know it's tough, but next time just tell him thank you but you are not hungry. If he insists on leaving it with you, either find someone else who wants it or toss it out. If he's offended, too bad. YOU have control over your body, not him.
  • JamesTSprinkle
    JamesTSprinkle Posts: 2 Member
    Find your nearest homeless person and "donate" it. You will feel good x 2!
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    Eat half of it?
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.
  • Tiernan1212
    Tiernan1212 Posts: 797 Member
    You can lower your cals a bit on your other meals, or even the next day. It helps some people to look at the weekly calorie totals instead of the daily totals. This way of you go over one day, but make it up the next day it all evens out. :smile:

    And yes, you could always do some extra exercise.

    I would have eaten the sandwich too :laugh: but probably said no thank you to the soda, and put the chips away in my desk for another day :wink:
  • bkyoun
    bkyoun Posts: 371 Member
    Let everyone know you are counting calories and that it won't fit in. Everyone at my work knows I am doing it now and so they expect that I will turn down the treats that people bring in. They have started to see a difference in my weight and they are behind me. People should either support you or get out of your way :)
  • AllieBear88
    AllieBear88 Posts: 170 Member
    If they think you're being rude for choosing healthier foods, they are being rude. It is very nice of them to bring it by you, but express your plan for change to them, so it doesn't happen again. You can choose to eat it, then workout later on, or find someone else who might like it. Even if he watches you choose not to eat it, if he gets pissy with you, politely tell him "Look, I'm trying to get healthier and lose weight. I appreciate your offer, but I just can't eat it, so I'm going to give it to someone else."
  • jocybee83
    jocybee83 Posts: 155 Member
    Did you ask your co-worker to get it for you? If not, then don't eat it. Thank him for the gesture and politely decline. If he takes it as you being rude, that's his problem, not yours. You can do this! Get that goal!
  • beaches61
    beaches61 Posts: 154 Member
    if you don't want it, don't eat it.
  • Iknowsaur
    Iknowsaur Posts: 777 Member
    I always find it really rude when people get you food without asking. Especially today, you never know what kind of "diet" or whatever someone is on, or if they're trying to lose/maintain weight. You aren't obligated to eat it, so don't D:
  • almostplenty
    almostplenty Posts: 43 Member
    Re-plan out the rest of your calories for the day today. And there is nothing wrong with a "thanks, but no thanks :smile: " If this is something that happens regularly in the office, can you privately talk to the person who brings in the food about how you don't want to be rude and you appreciate the gesture but you're really trying to make some healthy lifestyle changes? I politely, nonchantly turn down this sort of stuff regularly and it doesn't ruffle any feathers.
  • KarlyK929
    KarlyK929 Posts: 44 Member
    Let it go for today, and maybe do an extra 15-30 minutes of cardio. Before you leave today, you should approach him and let him know that you are kick-starting a diet, and you'd really appreciate it if he would either not bring you anything, because it is so tempting, or bring you something healthier. If you approach him as a friend, which I'm assuming you are since he gets you food, he should understand and not want to derail you. Don't blame him for bringing the sandwich today, and just say you appreciate that he did but it will have to be the last one you have. He should understand.
  • rondaj05
    rondaj05 Posts: 497 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.

    +1
  • will2lose72
    will2lose72 Posts: 128 Member
    Tell him today that you appreciate his generosity and thoughtfulness... but that going forward you will be bringing your own breakfast and snacks because you are watching what you eat. Once you've communicated this to him you should not feel obligated to eat the food he brings in. If you want to eat what he offers, make it work within your day...ie, don't eat all of it to reduce the number of calories or plan to reduce your lunch/dinner choices for that day. You are in control, provide the communication and then keep your control. Good luck!
  • SCV34
    SCV34 Posts: 2,048 Member
    I would eat a small portion of it now and save the rest for later. The same with the soda and chips, have some now and save the rest or share. When something like that comes up instead of getting frustrated, just think of it as something for now and something for later. You don't have to eat it all at once. Hope this helps:smile:

    I am so hungry right now, I wish someone would bring me some food:cry:
  • jlsirois
    jlsirois Posts: 1
    My coworkers bring in candy everyday. At first they were upset that I don't eat it. But I say I'm on a diet. If they are upset that I don't eat it I don't care, I'm not rude anymore they are rude for trying to get me to eat it.

    Remember you never said you wanted it so don't every feel obligated to eat it.
  • lizzardsm
    lizzardsm Posts: 271 Member
    Fake it. :) I'd say something like - "Oh! Thank you so much! I already ate breakfast and I'm stuffed. I couldn't possibly - let's see if there's someone around who'd like this treat."

    It's not rude, you're not wasting food or his money, and you were totally gracious about it. You can do this with lunches too. "Oh I'd love to go out to lunch but I brought mine today. Go grab your lunch and we'll eat together in the office."

    I'm personally not someone who likes to advertise that I'm trying to lose weight. I think it invites too many comments (Oh you should try X diet...), judgments (getting looks for eating a cupcake that totally fits in your calories for the day), etc. I prefer to deflect and keep people out of my business!

    Also - it's a little weird he bought it for all the ladies and is watching you eat. ;)
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.
    Or rather than wasting food how about giving it to some homeless person
  • kjo9692
    kjo9692 Posts: 430 Member
    How to say no? Just say no!

    "No, thanks!"

    Of course, depending on the calories it had I guess you can burn some or all of it. I used to tell myself this all the time but after getting home at 11:00 p.m. from college I have no energy to do anything but sleep. So instead of being upset at myself for going over my calories I just say no. You'll feel better about your decision later.

    You can also remove something else from your diary to make space for it too if you haven't had some of the pre-planned foods yet.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    If I was hungry, I'd probably have eaten half and then said I was full and saving the rest for later.
    If I was not hungry, I'd have thanked him sincerely (it was a nice gesture) and said it looks delicious but I already had breakfast and was full and I'd save it for later.

    Later I would decide whether I wanted to eat it or ditch it.
  • Iknowsaur
    Iknowsaur Posts: 777 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.
    Or rather than wasting food how about giving it to some homeless person

    Nitpick some more, please.
  • jenmcdav
    jenmcdav Posts: 67
    lol @ he watched you eat it. that's weird!
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
    if you don't want it, don't eat it.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    i have nothing to add except that croissant sounds fantastic.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.
    Or rather than wasting food how about giving it to some homeless person
    Not everyone has a convenient homeless person around to give something to.
  • LVCeltGirl
    LVCeltGirl Posts: 473
    Have you eaten it yet? If not, pick it apart. Eat the meat and eggs but not the "bread" or any meat/egg that touched the bread. Say you suspect you're sensitive to wheat (or gluten if you wish to get technical). Also what kind of chips because you might be able to use the "gluten" as a reason. State that you're still testing it out so you don't know if you're sensitive or not. Of course, if you had "planned" on a product with wheat (or even hidden wheat like soy sauce) you'll need to figure out how to ditch the wheat but that way you can eat it but not as much of it and have a valid excuse.

    I also might just be flat out honest. Saying thank you but I'm trying to change my relationship with food and I appreciate the gesture however, that is not in my food plan today. If you wish to do little things like this to show appreciation in the future, I'd appreciate fresh fruit (or something similar per your tastes). Of course, I work in an office where they know I'm attempting to change myself and fully support it so I have people helping to keep temptation out of my way when vendors bring in the high calorie, low "good for you in any way" foods. If I do breakdown and choose something from that temptation, I have a buddy or two around the office that will help me out by taking half.

    If you have eaten it, then yes, find a way to get up and move more.

    Bottom line is really how much are you willing to invest in yourself? When you've become fully committed to yourself, saying "no" is super easy. Of course, that doesn't make it easy while you're learning to put yourself and your feelings first.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.
    Or rather than wasting food how about giving it to some homeless person
    Not everyone has a convenient homeless person around to give something to.

    What?? You don't keep em in your pocket for all your unwanted food? :laugh:
  • JohnsElan
    JohnsElan Posts: 81
    "I DON'T WANT TO EAT THAT CRAP! My body is a temple! Do you know what that white flour does to a colon? The egg and cheese does to arteries? Know that those chips are nothing but calories, grease and salt? And the soda is nasty carbonated sugar syrup? Why would you put that in front of me? DO YOU HATE ME?"

    callas_medea.jpg
  • lyzmorrison
    lyzmorrison Posts: 172 Member
    if you don't want it, don't eat it.

    ^^THIS!

    I was literally forced to accept a dessert that I did not want. I finally said yes to get them off my back and then handed it off to someone else.

    That was nice of your coworker to bring food, but that doesn't mean you have to eat it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.
    Or rather than wasting food how about giving it to some homeless person
    Not everyone has a convenient homeless person around to give something to.

    What?? You don't keep em in your pocket for all your unwanted food? :laugh:
    Of course *I* do, but not everyone has pockets big enough.

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