How to say no.

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Replies

  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    It's not rude to say no thanks. What's more important, yourself and your health, or a coworker buying breakfast sandwiches for people that don't want them. Offer it to another coworker or toss it. You can't worry about others. And sorry but whoever said workout for an extra 15 min? Doubt it will cover those calories!!!!
  • Of_Monsters_and_Meat
    Of_Monsters_and_Meat Posts: 1,022 Member
    I just say I'm training, and I can't really eat this right now, but thanks!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    :embarassed:

    So after venting my frustrations yesterday about emotional eating and I decided to get up this morning, plan out my day - including my meals and calories. I am sitting at my desk and a coworker drops off a double meat croissant sandwich with eggs and cheese he bought a few of the ladies around the pod we work in - not to mention a bag of chips and a soda. I WANT TO SCREAM. So, if I don't eat it I am being rude - but if I do I am no closer to meeting this goal that I set two years ago! But things like this happen all the time - it's a part of life - so if yesterday taught me anything it is that I am not alone and other people have similar issues going on. So what do you do? An extra hour of working out? Because between me and you - he watched us eat it.
    If he's going to provide, then just ask for a parfait or yogurt instead of a sandwich.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • LRoslin
    LRoslin Posts: 128
    It's not rude to refuse un-asked for food. It would be one thing if you asked him to get you something to eat and then rejected it. That's what my toddler does, after all. :D

    But somebody shoving un-asked for food in your face does not deserve the consideration of niceness. You just say, "Oh wow, I'm full from lunch/snack and I really couldn't eat that. Maybe somebody else would like it." If he insists you take it, just wrap it up and throw it out when he's gone.

    IMO it's more rude to give people food they didn't ask for than to refuse food.
  • somefitsomefat
    somefitsomefat Posts: 445 Member
    Free food is always going to be a thing in the office. Sometimes it's donuts in the break room. Sometimes it's meeting food. Sometimes gifts like you got. Bottom line is you're in charge of what you eat. If you can, speak up and give an opinion about what you want if it's for a meeting or if someone is ordering something for a group. If it's a gift, same type of thing. Tell the person thanks but no thanks and give the reason. Maybe they'll bring a better option next time if they still want to be nice.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    "Oh, bless your heart. But i'm full from breakfast."

    see, b/c bless your heart is southern for "Frak you"
  • HappyNewTamera2014
    HappyNewTamera2014 Posts: 91
    Eat it if you are willing to work it off later. DO not eat it if you are not hungry. You have no obligation to eat food bought without your request. Make it a point to explain to him why you are declining so they are not offended. You will be surprised at most reactions. You cannot assume everyone knows you are on a health plan to drop a few lbs and if his intentions were to be cordial and not malicious he will understand fully. Next time he may bring you a healthier choice. No need to lie....there are enough liars in society.
  • katylil
    katylil Posts: 223 Member
    Fake it. :) I'd say something like - "Oh! Thank you so much! I already ate breakfast and I'm stuffed. I couldn't possibly - let's see if there's someone around who'd like this treat."

    It's not rude, you're not wasting food or his money, and you were totally gracious about it. You can do this with lunches too. "Oh I'd love to go out to lunch but I brought mine today. Go grab your lunch and we'll eat together in the office."

    I'm personally not someone who likes to advertise that I'm trying to lose weight. I think it invites too many comments (Oh you should try X diet...), judgments (getting looks for eating a cupcake that totally fits in your calories for the day), etc. I prefer to deflect and keep people out of my business!

    Also - it's a little weird he bought it for all the ladies and is watching you eat. ;)

    This
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Free food is always going to be a thing in the office. Sometimes it's donuts in the break room. Sometimes it's meeting food. Sometimes gifts like you got. Bottom line is you're in charge of what you eat. If you can, speak up and give an opinion about what you want if it's for a meeting or if someone is ordering something for a group. If it's a gift, same type of thing. Tell the person thanks but no thanks and give the reason. Maybe they'll bring a better option next time if they still want to be nice.

    I have never had a coworker go out and buy my lunch without asking if I wanted something first.

    There is a huge difference between bringing something in for everyone and leaving it in the break room and bringing in specific lunches, unsolicited, for specific people. That's WEIRD.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    One thing about having food allergies and intolerances is I never feel guilty about saying no to something. If you didn't ask for it and he brought you something it's perfectly acceptable to thank him but decline. You don't have to justify yourself but you can use an excuse if it makes you feel better. :)
  • kickivale
    kickivale Posts: 260 Member
    "Oh, bless your heart. But i'm full from breakfast."

    see, b/c bless your heart is southern for "Frak you"


    OOOOOO I love' bless your heart'
    I also love 'I hear that!'

    The South.
    Heaven to the ears.
  • LadyLeo813
    LadyLeo813 Posts: 11 Member
    I'm a receptionist at a car dealership and the salesmen stay buying food. All day, erry day. They also like to share. 99% of them are fine when I turn down their offers even though I used to accept free food left and right; they don't question my reasons so that's always cool. One of them, who ironically is the biggest of all of them, gets soooo mad when I refuse to take food he offers me, especially since we used to eat together the most. It's all "why don't you want this" "what you think there's something wrong with it" and when I try to keep it simple and just say "I'm watching what I eat" he thinks that's the stupidest thing ever. But that's the thing that's what HE thinks and that's his problem. I keep it moving. He can keep the calories.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
    I know that I like to decide what is worth the calories and what isn't. Don't let someone else decide that for you....he does not have to live with it. No thank you should be enough, if not the save for later and dump works too.
  • Lindseyelizabeth87
    Lindseyelizabeth87 Posts: 151 Member
    There's some foods that I just don't want to eat.. and I sometimes phib and say it doesn't agree with my stomach.

    Lots of people are sensitive to stuff with tons of cheese or bread etc., so it works.

    I genuinely get a belly ache from a lot of greasy food- So it's become easier to just say that. No one ever asks me for more info haha. "Stomach problems" and they're over it.
  • Iknowsaur
    Iknowsaur Posts: 777 Member
    Free food is always going to be a thing in the office. Sometimes it's donuts in the break room. Sometimes it's meeting food. Sometimes gifts like you got. Bottom line is you're in charge of what you eat. If you can, speak up and give an opinion about what you want if it's for a meeting or if someone is ordering something for a group. If it's a gift, same type of thing. Tell the person thanks but no thanks and give the reason. Maybe they'll bring a better option next time if they still want to be nice.

    I have never had a coworker go out and buy my lunch without asking if I wanted something first.

    There is a huge difference between bringing something in for everyone and leaving it in the break room and bringing in specific lunches, unsolicited, for specific people. That's WEIRD.

    Absolutely, totally weird. Yes.
    I'm a little creeped out just thinking about it.
  • whitneysaenz
    whitneysaenz Posts: 125 Member
    Politely decline. It's not rude to want to take care of yourself, lose weight, and get healthy. If he has a problem with it, then that's just unfortunate on his part.

    Our co-workers always have junk food... and EVERY Tuesday a vendor brings in FOUR-FIVE BOXES full of specialty kolaches, muffins, cinnamon rolls, etc. EVERY Tuesday! And every week, one of my office employees runs straight to the boxes, announces to the office that the food is here, and then complains for the rest of the day about wanting to lose weight.

    There are two of us in here who eat mindfully, myself & another who is actually training for a bikini competition. They give us crap all of the time because we don't eat the junk they all do. We just shrug it off and tell them, that's ok, we would rather eat this than feel like crud later because we indulged in all of that. And to be truthful, I am STARVING if I eat the junk instead of what I planned to eat.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    um,,, JUST DO IT!
    NO!
    NO!
    NO!
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    You're not being rude by not eating it. If he brought you something you're allergic to, would you eat it?
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Sounds like you work with a Feeder!! LOL! Seriously, just havea chat with him. Be polite and honest...something like "I didn't want to sound rude earlier and refuse your offer of that breakfast sandwich but I'd like to be honest now and tell you that I really didn't want or need it. While I really appreciate the thought, please save your money and don't bring one in for me from now on. I'm trying to get healthier and can't eat things like that anymore. Thank you!"

    He may come back with questions or comments but just keep cool and don't let it get to you. This is for you - you don't really need to explain yourself anymore than that. And if he pushes, feel free to give any future food back to him or even throw it away.
  • SephiraRose
    SephiraRose Posts: 766 Member
    Tell him u already ate and maybe someone else would like to have your meal.
  • starjam25
    starjam25 Posts: 4,834 Member
    Interesting... is it really that wierd to bring food to your co-worker or co-workers? I do it all the time, healthy and un-healthy. If they say no, it's no big deal as there is always someone who will eat it, but I have never ever thought of it as wierd. I wonder if others at work think it's weird????
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Interesting... is it really that wierd to bring food to your co-worker or co-workers? I do it all the time, healthy and un-healthy. If they say no, it's no big deal as there is always someone who will eat it, but I have never ever thought of it as wierd. I wonder if others at work think it's weird????
    It's not weird to bring in, say, a plate of cookies and let them know it's available. It IS weird to go out and buy them sandwiches, chips and sodas for lunch without asking first if they want anything.

    This guy didn't bring in a tray of food to share. He bought each of them individual lunches without asking if they wanted him to do so or asking what they might want.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    Interesting... is it really that wierd to bring food to your co-worker or co-workers? I do it all the time, healthy and un-healthy. If they say no, it's no big deal as there is always someone who will eat it, but I have never ever thought of it as wierd. I wonder if others at work think it's weird????

    It's weird if you order hot food like a meal. It's not weird to bring candy or stuff that will keep.
  • beaches61
    beaches61 Posts: 154 Member
    This is SOOO simple.

    You're in charge of what you put in your body. No one else.

    I'd have said, "No,thanks," offered no explanation (you don't have to explain your dietary choices) and put the food out where someone else could take it if they wanted it.

    The end.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    "Thank you but I already ate. I'm going to save it for later." Wrap it up, put it away and toss it later in the day.

    THIS!
  • Blokeypoo
    Blokeypoo Posts: 274 Member
    I just say no thanks, never on a weekday. My colleagues even say that to me now and don't offer.

    I am NOT eating just to please someone else. It's not easy to say no to my patients when they try to make me have biccies during a home visit but I don't want one and say I've already had something thank you.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Something like, "no thanks...just had breakfast"

    It's not really hard at all.
    Interesting... is it really that wierd to bring food to your co-worker or co-workers? I do it all the time, healthy and un-healthy. If they say no, it's no big deal as there is always someone who will eat it, but I have never ever thought of it as wierd. I wonder if others at work think it's weird????

    It's totally weird to bring someone a "meal" that they didn't ask for. It's one thing to bring in some doughnuts or a plate of cookies or whatever and have them in the break-room and let everyone know that they're there for the taking. Bringing someone an actual meal individually when they didn't ask for it is weird.
  • sandyluvsfall
    sandyluvsfall Posts: 12
    I try really hard to not give excuses (I don't ask for them either). If I did't want the food, I would have merely said "no thank you." End of story. :smile:
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
    Find your nearest homeless person and "donate" it. You will feel good x 2!

    I like that. :smile:
  • averytds
    averytds Posts: 64 Member
    I've frequently brought things or have had things (individual meals or specific drinks) brought for me. If its the norm and I want to make a change or someone else wants to make a change all that's needed is to let people know. I can't tell from your post, but is this a common thing? You say it happens all the time.

    Like Bob brings sandwiches on Tuesdays and I always get the chicken club and Mary brings Chinese every Friday and she always gets me extra crab rangoon and I bring Sonic for everyone on Monday. If I decide to go paleo and want Bob to bring just the meat and veggies from now on, all I have to do is say something. He won't mind ordering it that way, but it would be rude of me to go off on him for something I didn't even tell him about. I've always worked in smaller groups/offices and this kind of stuff is the norm around here.

    You say he does this all the time for you and your co-workers. If you've always appreciated it in the past and he doesn't know about your new dietary changes, you really should have let him know. Since you ate it and it doesn't sound like you said anything, then he'll continue to bring things and its on you. It doesn't seem like from your post that he would have had any inkling then or now that you wouldn't have wanted it, so it will happen again.

    If you're not complaining so much about him specifically, but the feeling life is conspiring against you and you want more how do you stay on track/what would you have done type of advice, well....

    If I wanted to eat it, I would have eaten it. If I wanted to save it for later, I would have saved it. If I ate it, I would have adjusted my day or week somewhat to better accommodate it within reason. Nope, no hours of cardio to accommodate. At worst, it would put me around maintenance for one single day. One breakfast sandwich is chump change in the grand scheme of things. Whether I ate it then or not, I would tell him and anyone else it might matter to, what I wanted in the future. If I still wanted to be included but with healthier fare, I'd say so. If I wanted to just be left off the list I would politely say so. If you want people to support you in your en devour, you have to let them know what it is you are trying to accomplish. :flowerforyou:


    At some point I would have eaten it though as it sounds delicious. :tongue:

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