why cant I stay on track

From just a quick read, it seems like you may fall prey to the "all or nothing" mentality, where you're either "on track" or not. A lot of people set themselves up this way. If you try to drastically change your habits, it's too much stress and you won't keep it up. What changes can you succeed at? Make one commitment, stick to it, then add another.

I Find this to be great advice. the other thing that I have found personally is sometimes you have to "fake it until you make it". There will be people in posts like these that will tell you that you don't want it enough yet, and that may be true, that said you may want to want it enough and for now that might be good enough. Maybe just faking some dedication now will lead to the real thing, but start, it is better to have relapses then to have never tried. In my work I sometimes work with smokers trying to quit, every failed attempt to quit is preparation for the successful time, and there are real health benefits too to trying.

Do something! you really can do this!