Looking for backup

HI, My Nickname is Pana and i have lupus that brought on diabetes. i have weight as much as 282lbs. i lost 60lbs. but some of it is coming back on and i need new excerise sometimes i drink juices, milk more than i eat so when i eat i eat. but it's usually what i should be eating i'm 254lb and i want to go to a healthy toned 189-189lbs i need motivation and even a serious work out pal. I hate jogging i'm top heavy so i feel like i have a building on me when i jog but i love strength training lol