really annoyed

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  • violetcole
    violetcole Posts: 8
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    Right now I can only use my phone for WiFi...however when the opportunity presents itself I will upload pics from my heaviest through my progress..because believe me ...im almost half my person ...i got pulled over and the police yelled at me and told me I HAD to get a new ID because my picture compared to me was apparently not acceptable anymore. Again thanks everyone ...i feel a lot better.. I was beginning to think maybe I was just expecting too much ..but I think you guys are right !
  • Nerdycurls
    Nerdycurls Posts: 143 Member
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    My mom always takes the time to tell me how fat I am, so honestly I am used to it. Once I accepted I can never please her, or anyone else life became a lot easier. I ignore her most of the time, say something sarcastic or better yet say something shocking and that works to keep people quiet :)
  • violetcole
    violetcole Posts: 8
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    I just dont see them that often ...and when I do they are always together ...like a skinny tag team...they stop by unannounced really brief ...and then they leave and im standing here like a tornado just swept through my apartment haha
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    Jealousy is a *****...even people who are supposed to love you unconditionally can be guilty of this. You have done fabulous!!!!
  • Nerdycurls
    Nerdycurls Posts: 143 Member
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    I just dont see them that often ...and when I do they are always together ...like a skinny tag team...they stop by unannounced really brief ...and then they leave and im standing here like a tornado just swept through my apartment haha

    I think it's time to set some boundaries. Why are they coming by unannounced? It's almost as if it's a control thing by doing that, just like it's a control thing to tell you how to be healthier.
  • DanerTee
    DanerTee Posts: 263 Member
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    So I have been working reallllllllly hard to get to where I am now and I still am working hard to get to my weight loss goal. My mother and sister who have never spent a day in their lives trying to lose weight are constantly telling me how I need to do this. Also despite the fact that over the past few years I've lost the body weight of a whole person every time they see me they say that there is no visible difference. AHHHHH I know it's crap because im probably the most critical person of myself and even I can see it ....but it's discouraging. ...just needed to vent it out . :(

    Family can be the toughest critics. You'll probably find they are jealous of your determination to stick at something. You usually find it's the people closest that sabatoge us. They want you to change but are scared you will leave them behind.

    Be proud of your achievement.

    This. Exactly.
  • Sheri3851
    Sheri3851 Posts: 70 Member
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    Sounds like they are threatened by your success. All that matters is that YOU have done an amazing job and as long as you are happy, that's all that matters. Don't let them or anyone else bring you down. I am so encouraged by your success and dedication. Job very well done! Hang in there and just keep doing what you are doing.
  • Nerdycurls
    Nerdycurls Posts: 143 Member
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    Why ARE the people we're close to so scared we'll leave them behind? Leave them behind for what, and who?? I don't get it.
  • marmosetdalek
    marmosetdalek Posts: 7
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    Being as mean as they are to you, do this next time they show up unannounced. When they knock or ring the bell, yell through the door or intercom : "I'm not home right now. Please call ahead if you'd like to visit." Then do not answer the door no matter what they do. Unless they are complete morons, this should help send a message.
  • walkdmc
    walkdmc Posts: 529 Member
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    I'm on a "mental illness" kick now, having recently discovered many in my family are afflicted with personality disorders. Of course, one cannot make any diagnoses over the internet but it sounds like they have some mental issues, possibly illness. I know my narcissistic personality disordered parents act the way you're describing.

    I recently set firm boundaries with them (call before you visit, we will be phoning you once a week, not multiple times a day, etc). They didn't like my 'rules' so they stopped coming around altogether. Prior to that, they'd show up, not say a word about my weight loss (of about 90 pounds at that time) but go on and on about how pretty my neighbor is and so on. It's called, EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, look it up. To me, their refusal to acknowledge your stunning weight loss is a form of emotional manipulation.

    Anyway, no way one wouldn't notice going from 300 pounds to 161. That's freaking amazing and many congratulations to you!!!
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
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    Right now I can only use my phone for WiFi...however when the opportunity presents itself I will upload pics from my heaviest through my progress..because believe me ...im almost half my person ...i got pulled over and the police yelled at me and told me I HAD to get a new ID because my picture compared to me was apparently not acceptable anymore. Again thanks everyone ...i feel a lot better.. I was beginning to think maybe I was just expecting too much ..but I think you guys are right !

    :laugh: Hahahaha :laugh:

    I'm not laughing at you..I'm visualizing this scenerio and I just think it's really funny. If you've got cops telling you that your picture no longer qualifies as current photo ID then you're doing a great job!!! Screw what my family would say. That cop would have just made my day. :-)
  • Nerdycurls
    Nerdycurls Posts: 143 Member
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    I'm on a "mental illness" kick now, having recently discovered many in my family are afflicted with personality disorders. Of course, one cannot make any diagnoses over the internet but it sounds like they have some mental issues, possibly illness. I know my narcissistic personality disordered parents act the way you're describing.

    I recently set firm boundaries with them (call before you visit, we will be phoning you once a week, not multiple times a day, etc). They didn't like my 'rules' so they stopped coming around altogether. Prior to that, they'd show up, not say a word about my weight loss (of about 90 pounds at that time) but go on and on about how pretty my neighbor is and so on. It's called, EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, look it up. To me, their refusal to acknowledge your stunning weight loss is a form of emotional manipulation.

    Anyway, no way one wouldn't notice going from 300 pounds to 161. That's freaking amazing and many congratulations to you!!!

    Exactly. If they show up OP, you don't need to answer the door. Just say you were having soooo much fun running in place jamming out to music you didn't hear the doorbell LOL!
  • mich1760
    mich1760 Posts: 34
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    Way to Go. You have had amazing weight loss. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You are amazing!
  • walkdmc
    walkdmc Posts: 529 Member
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    Exactly. If they show up OP, you don't need to answer the door. Just say you were having soooo much fun running in place jamming out to music you didn't hear the doorbell LOL!

    Nerdy, you must be used to dealing with the Abby Normals, lol. OP, this is all about training your mom and sister how to treat you.

    OP, the fact that you feel like they left a tornado in their wake speaks volumes...you know that's not remotely normal.
  • wyattj99
    wyattj99 Posts: 454 Member
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    Make sure your taking before and during and after photos...sometimes photos tell the story and maybe they need to look at them for an eye opener but yes they are sabotaging you! DON'T LET THEM!

    Yes ^ . When I lost weight I didn't realize how bad it got until I saw photos of myself from before.

    I didn't realize it either so glad I took photos, they tell the story that the mirror doesn't.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    .i got pulled over and the police yelled at me and told me I HAD to get a new ID because my picture compared to me was apparently not acceptable anymore.
    Love it! That's actually a great compliment. :bigsmile:
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
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    anigif_enhanced-10088-1393290865-1_zpsb78ef82a.gif

    Use that
  • bradXdale
    bradXdale Posts: 399
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    Family can be the toughest critics. You'll probably find they are jealous of your determination to stick at something. You usually find it's the people closest that sabatoge us. They want you to change but are scared you will leave them behind.

    Be proud of your achievement.

    Exactly.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Sorry you are dealing with that. Females in my family relate to each other differently, I guess. This type of behavior would result in that person getting cussed out by the family member who is being picked on. Then the issue is laid to rest. :wink:

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