Any therapists out there in MFP land!?!?

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susanleasings
susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am in a terrible cycle of self sabatoge and am having trouble figuring out why.........I'd love to chat with someone who has been there and done that - or a therapist who is willing to offer some time via messages. :bigsmile: I'm not too proud to ask!

Replies

  • daryls
    daryls Posts: 260
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    I'm a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern. It's great that you're reaching out for support, but it's the face to face connection and building of the relationship where change generally occurs. There are great agencies out there that do sliding scale services.

    Feel free to friend me!
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
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    When you are thinking clearly and sanely (preferable away from the kitchen), write down on paper your short term and long term goals. Next to that write HOW you are going to achieve these and by When.

    i.e. I want to lose X lbs by DATE and will do this by working out X times a week and by writing EVERYTHING down on MFP

    Just start slowly and set goals. On sticky notes write your goal(s) and place these notes anywhere you feel like sabotaging yourself (i.e. on the refrigerator, on your work computer, in your planner, on your phone's home screen, on your car's steering wheel, etc.)

    Remember WHY you are doing this and it should help avoid slip ups. If you do slip up, RECORD it and get over it. One slip up will not ruin your work BUT continued slip ups will.

    Best of luck!
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    I'm not a therapist...but feel free to benefit from my (years of expensive) therapy along the way...

    Are you journaling? If not, start to. Sit down when the urge to make bad choices comes, and just write three pages of whatever comes into your brain. You will be straight up AMAZED at what comes out in between your random to-do lists and ramblings.

    Essentially, you need to figure out two things:

    What you're afraid of if you succeed? (what finally losing the weight means, what it looks like, and what happens when you get there.) There's something holding you back, but only you can figure out what that is. For me, I was made uncomfortable by the different kind of attention my smaller body made me receive. When I was bigger, I was invisible. Being seen is hard.

    What emotions trigger the urge to eat poorly? Mine are feelings that I can't express myself, feelings of being trapped, and fear of being judged harshly (those are just a sample of the delightful neurosis in my brain.)

    The journaling really, really helps to put your feelings into words reveals what they are. You don't know what's going wrong until you give it a name.

    HTH.:flowerforyou:
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    Thanks everyone!!! I think I may have just made a few important new friends! :)
    Daryls - you are right! As a future LMFT myself, I recognize that the relationship between client and therapist is the most important part of successful therapy! We all want immediate gratification though, don't we??!! LOL
    Vivia - Thanks for your reply as well! Journaling is a great idea! I know how beneficial it could be if I'd stick to it! I even carry a diary in my purse! Why I don't use it often enough, I don't know! Another way to sabatoge myself maybe!?!? :wink:
    Aggie - post-it notes and written specific goals may help too! I'll try anything once!!!

    You all rock!
  • minx88xl
    minx88xl Posts: 9
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    Im a counsellor (in training). However im a person centred student, meaning that we try and enable you to change your own life and work out your own problems, so if you have no idea why i might not be the best person for you. But im happy to talk to anyone!
    Laura
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    Im a counsellor (in training). However im a person centred student, meaning that we try and enable you to change your own life and work out your own problems, so if you have no idea why i might not be the best person for you. But im happy to talk to anyone!
    Laura

    Thanks a bunch for your reply! I am doing some soul searching for sure! Good luck in your studies! :)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,117 Member
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    Great suggestions! The journalling is very helpful for any mental health issues. I had a bout of "issues" last spring. Though I've gone to therapy a long time ago, I realized in therapy that I have to solve my own problems. No matter how much money I throw at a problem, or how many hours I spend with a therapist, I am the only one who knows me.

    I am the only one who knows all of my life, and what has made me who I am. I will never get understanding or answers from ANY other human being who will know me as well as I know myself.

    The best therapists don't tell you what to do, they ask good questions.

    Good luck. You will figure it out. Start writing. I did my journalling on the computer. I type much faster than I write and it's easy to edit.
  • Kath712
    Kath712 Posts: 1,263 Member
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    Great suggestions! The journalling is very helpful for any mental health issues. I had a bout of "issues" last spring. Though I've gone to therapy a long time ago, I realized in therapy that I have to solve my own problems. No matter how much money I throw at a problem, or how many hours I spend with a therapist, I am the only one who knows me.

    I am the only one who knows all of my life, and what has made me who I am. I will never get understanding or answers from ANY other human being who will know me as well as I know myself.

    The best therapists don't tell you what to do, they ask good questions.

    Good luck. You will figure it out. Start writing. I did my journalling on the computer. I type much faster than I write and it's easy to edit.

    Great advice - very true! Sorry you are struggling. {{{hugs}}} :flowerforyou: I'm not a therapist, but I've seen a few over the years. Yes, they ask questions, and I eventually figure out the answers. And shed a few tears, o.k. a lot, along the way. :sad: You are a strong woman. You can do this. If you can complete P90X, you can do anything! And we are all here to support you!!
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    [/quote]

    Great advice - very true! Sorry you are struggling. {{{hugs}}} :flowerforyou: I'm not a therapist, but I've seen a few over the years. Yes, they ask questions, and I eventually figure out the answers. And shed a few tears, o.k. a lot, along the way. :sad: You are a strong woman. You can do this. If you can complete P90X, you can do anything! And we are all here to support you!!
    [/quote]

    Thanks! You're a doll! :wink:
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    Great suggestions! The journalling is very helpful for any mental health issues. I had a bout of "issues" last spring. Though I've gone to therapy a long time ago, I realized in therapy that I have to solve my own problems. No matter how much money I throw at a problem, or how many hours I spend with a therapist, I am the only one who knows me.

    I am the only one who knows all of my life, and what has made me who I am. I will never get understanding or answers from ANY other human being who will know me as well as I know myself.

    The best therapists don't tell you what to do, they ask good questions.

    Good luck. You will figure it out. Start writing. I did my journalling on the computer. I type much faster than I write and it's easy to edit.

    Good point!! Thanks a bunch!
  • larousse_37
    larousse_37 Posts: 80
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    I'm a psych student and work as a counsellor part time... Am always open to messaging!!! Have also had years of personal experience with self-sabotage.. am still struggling with it to an extent now I suppose. It can take a long time to come to terms with the underlying issues that are being masked by your behaviour. It was already mentioned before, that the face to face relationship with a therapist is very beneficial, I also find it is very helpful to actually say what you need to say OUT LOUD. It's not going to fix all your problems, but if something is staring you in the face, you're more likely to pay attention to it if you speak to someone out loud and hear yourself say it. You can think things through for hours and not see things for what they really are. Think about this... can you count properly without counting out loud? It's generally a lot easier to conceptualise when you speak out loud. This is another benefit to the face to face contact.
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    I'm a psych student and work as a counsellor part time... Am always open to messaging!!! Have also had years of personal experience with self-sabotage.. am still struggling with it to an extent now I suppose. It can take a long time to come to terms with the underlying issues that are being masked by your behaviour. It was already mentioned before, that the face to face relationship with a therapist is very beneficial, I also find it is very helpful to actually say what you need to say OUT LOUD. It's not going to fix all your problems, but if something is staring you in the face, you're more likely to pay attention to it if you speak to someone out loud and hear yourself say it. You can think things through for hours and not see things for what they really are. Think about this... can you count properly without counting out loud? It's generally a lot easier to conceptualise when you speak out loud. This is another benefit to the face to face contact.

    I LOVE your quote! "Be yourself - everyone else is taken!" That is awesome! Thanks for your reply!! :)
  • lizziewhan
    lizziewhan Posts: 148 Member
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    text me girl!! im going thru this right now too!!!
  • itsbella
    itsbella Posts: 1,101
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    Success sometimes comes from loving one's SELF enough to succeed. And, let's not forget the science behind this calorie & exercise lifestyle!

    You're doing good by the picture you have on here!! As MFT's do, look at the BIG picture, the WHOLE!! Look at what you've accomplished thus far and move on!!

    There you go, my 2 cents for free and it's nothing you already didn't know!! Keep at it...nothing was built in a day....and our bodies aren't any different.
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    Success sometimes comes from loving one's SELF enough to succeed. And, let's not forget the science behind this calorie & exercise lifestyle!

    You're doing good by the picture you have on here!! As MFT's do, look at the BIG picture, the WHOLE!! Look at what you've accomplished thus far and move on!!

    There you go, my 2 cents for free and it's nothing you already didn't know!! Keep at it...nothing was built in a day....and our bodies aren't any different.

    Thanks for the reminder! :)

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