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Love and Politics

UsedToBeHusky
UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
edited February 15 in Chit-Chat
Can you make it work when your SO has an opposing viewpoint?
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Replies

  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Probably easier to do than differences in religion, but not by much. :\
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Probably easier to do than differences in religion, but not by much. :\

    Yeah, you've got a point. I don't know how couples with different religions make it work.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    My college best friend has made it work for 9 years and they are polar opposites.

    My husband and I share some similar views, but he's way more extreme and sometimes I want to stuff a sock in his mouth when he talks about it. *insert sweet smile here*
  • patrickblo13
    patrickblo13 Posts: 831 Member
    It is tough but can work. You just can't talk politics to each other because we all know how well those conversations usually end up
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    My husband and I share some similar views, but he's way more extreme and sometimes I want to stuff a sock in his mouth when he talks about it. *insert sweet smile here*

    kinky
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    It is tough but can work. You just can't talk politics to each other because we all know how well those conversations usually end up

    :laugh:

    I usually don't talk politics with anyone... but he usually starts it.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    My husband and I share some similar views, but he's way more extreme and sometimes I want to stuff a sock in his mouth when he talks about it. *insert sweet smile here*

    kinky

    Hi Rock :heart:
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I can make it work with anyone who is intelligent and reasonable and well-informed and doesn't try to be the thought police. I think it's easier to be with someone who shares your views, but honestly, the most important thing to me is there is mutual respect for the fact that we don't come to our values by accident. If there is reason and thought and conviction behind what you believe and it does not bother you that I may believe differently on some things, then we're cool.

    I could never date someone who blindly believes whatever he's told, however. Read. Think. Use your brain. Decide for yourself.
  • jmp463
    jmp463 Posts: 266 Member
    I can make it work with anyone who is intelligent and reasonable and well-informed and doesn't try to be the thought police. I think it's easier to be with someone who shares your views, but honestly, the most important thing to me is there is mutual respect for the fact that we don't come to our values by accident. If there is reason and thought and conviction behind what you believe and it does not bother you that I may believe differently on some things, then we're cool.

    I could never date someone who blindly believes whatever he's told, however. Read. Think. Use your brain. Decide for yourself.


    100% Agree!!!
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    There's a balance between level of certainty/advocacy and level of experience or effort. For example, if you're going to be adamant about some particular viewpoint and advocate for it with some vigor, you'd better really know what you're talking about. I'm fine with someone who doesn't really know a lot about politics but more or less keeps shut about it. I'm also fine with someone who has very strong feelings about something, but really knows their ****. As long as you exercise a little intellectual honesty everything is generally fine.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I'd say that it depends on the amount passion behind the ideology. If someone has a set of principles that guides their ideology, then it's likely they have convictions to abide by their principles. If they have strong convictions, then they will likely be passionate about their views. My husband and I are like that, but our convictions are the same. We will disagree from time to time about "baby steps" policies, how we get from where we are to the policies we'd like to see, but our shared passion for invoking change is one of the reasons we fell in love. Activism has also been a shared activity over the years.

    I've seen many couples where one person was passionate and the other was apathetic, and that seems to work out ok. I also remember a neighbor in 2004 that had both a Bush sign and a Kerry sign in the yard. They wound up divorcing.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Thankfully, my husband and me share the same political viepoint!
  • RunWinterGarden
    RunWinterGarden Posts: 428 Member
    Not a chance.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    I have trouble being around anyone who is on either extreme of the political spectrum in America.

    That would be a definite dealbreaker for me.
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
    I can make it work with anyone who is intelligent and reasonable and well-informed and doesn't try to be the thought police. I think it's easier to be with someone who shares your views, but honestly, the most important thing to me is there is mutual respect for the fact that we don't come to our values by accident. If there is reason and thought and conviction behind what you believe and it does not bother you that I may believe differently on some things, then we're cool.

    I could never date someone who blindly believes whatever he's told, however. Read. Think. Use your brain. Decide for yourself.

    This, 100%.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    I have trouble being around anyone who is on either extreme of the political spectrum in America.

    That would be a definite dealbreaker for me.

    ^a whole lotta this. My viewpoints are simply no longer represented by either side, and the middle is murky, too...all of which means I've thought about it a lot and probably couldn't tolerate for any long period anyone who didn't put some thought into their views.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    Depends on how different the differences are and how many of them. 2 liberals not agreeing on a few points is one thing, but a super left side marrying a Tea Partier may not be the easiest relationship to be in....lol
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    When someone asks this question, I always point to James Carville and Mary Matalin.
  • thatonegirlwiththestuff
    thatonegirlwiththestuff Posts: 1,171 Member
    Opposing? Sure. So married to their ideals that it causes strain on a relationship? No.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    Good sex can solve lots of problems...
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    oh hell no

    I cannot be with someone who is an atheists or someone who is religious

    and not with someone who is a conservative or into politics

    Justin Trudeau is alright though I will say that...but politics & politicians are all iffy sh!ts when it comes down to it


    anarchy is okay with me :smokin:
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 371 Member
    Just do what I had to do with my coworker: Make a list of those things that you will not talk about with him. My list for my coworker includes: religion, politics, and vaccinations. Saves a lot of time arguing. If she brings one of those things up, I just say, "Come on, now, you know that is on the verboten list".
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Probably easier to do than differences in religion, but not by much. :\

    Yeah, you've got a point. I don't know how couples with different religions make it work.

    Agreed about religions.

    Politics...I think it depends. Honestly I don't know how a super liberal person can stay happily married to an ultra-conservative person. But when it's a smaller number of issues that you disagree on, then I kinda "get it".

    For example, my husband and I are both quite liberal for the most part. We have the same (or very similar) views on things like supporting gay marriage, staunchly pro-choice, a stricter separation of church & state, etc. But I am on the fence about gun control and leaning toward supporting legal gun ownership while he would prefer to see all guns banned. I think the death penalty has its place - he disagrees. We both feel that the American healthcare system is beyond screwed and would strongly support socialized medicine. But my views on government assistance for other things is a stricter (slightly more conservative) view that rules are too lax, subsidies too abundant, and some benefits (like huge grants and no-interest loans for secondary education, and EIC tax credits) need to be completely abolished. Meanwhile my husband feels those things are valid and needed. We can agree to disagree on the areas where we don't see things 100% the same and we share the same CORE values.
  • minimalistmom
    minimalistmom Posts: 137
    We do. It makes for good debates.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    Depends on how far apart you are on your views. Throw raising kids into the mix might make for more trouble navigating the difference in beliefs.

    My husband and I don't COMPLETELY agree on everything, BUT we usually aren't too far apart...and when we discuss differing opinions, one of usually does relent on more hardline beliefs.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I ask this because my SO is a conservative republican, and I am more moderate. On most things, we agree, but there is a distinct difference between our beliefs on one issue.

    It ended up being our first argument. LOL!
  • SweetTrouble_
    SweetTrouble_ Posts: 933 Member
    Yes.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Good sex can solve lots of problems...

    I really like this solution. You just gave me a few ideas on how to curb the conversation next time. LOL!
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    I ask this because my SO is a conservative republican, and I am more moderate. On most things, we agree, but there is a distinct difference between our beliefs on one issue.

    It ended up being our first argument. LOL!

    I wouldn't expect two people to completely agree on everything political unless they were in the "moronic" zone of the left or right.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I ask this because my SO is a conservative republican, and I am more moderate. On most things, we agree, but there is a distinct difference between our beliefs on one issue.

    It ended up being our first argument. LOL!

    I wouldn't expect two people to completely agree on everything political unless they were in the "moronic" zone of the left or right.

    Yeah, we got past it for the most part. I was just curious what other people's opinions were.
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