"We hate you cause you're skinny now"

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jmaskx3
jmaskx3 Posts: 8
in Health and Weight Loss
So, recently at work, I've been getting a lot of compliments about my weight loss. Everyone is telling me that I look so good. (Yay!) Not only that I look good but that I'm skinny. Many of the people have said things like "we hate you cause you're skinny now" or "we don't want to work with you cause you're the hot nurse and we look bad when we stand next to you" (of course they're joking). But I don't see myself as skinny. I'm currently wearing a 12 (they're wayyy huge on me but my mom told me she'd kill me if i bought clothes before christmas, lol) but I can wear a size 8 or 10. I'm not asking you guys to tell me if I'm skinny or not, I was just curious if any of you feel the same way. Like do you get a lot of people saying "omg you're so skinny" but really don't feel or think you look that skinny?

maybe its just my self-esteem =(

Replies

  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    maybe you feel that way b/c you're only half way to your goal. I was down 17 lbs when I joined this site and lost 2 since and people still say to me wow you've lost a bunch of weight and all I can think about is 24 more and then we'll talk :)
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    I find it strange that people will make comments about my weight anyway, I just think its kind of rude. If you want to tell someone they look nice or good, leave it at that. I had a woman at the gym the other day who hasn't been there for about 5 weeks come up to me and say I can tell you've been working hard, your body looks like its changing alot. Okay, nice, no problem but she goes on to tell me that I don't need to lose more weight but I need to continue to tone more. And to do that I don't need the personal trainer I see every couple of weeks, just use the weights. Really? What business is it of yours? Sometimes I have a hard time accepting behaviors in others that I don't do myself, especially things that I think are rude.

    Anyway, I take everything I hear with a grain of salt. Its nice to hear a compliment but if you rely on others for self-esteem, its never going to be good enough.
  • awesomeabs
    awesomeabs Posts: 2
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    Those kind of comments always make me feel a little uncomfortable. I don't think people realize how weird it is to have so much attention on yourself for your weight. They never said that I looked fat, but now that I have lost weight, they are always commenting. I try to keep in mind that they are complimenting me, but it still tends to make me feel a little annoyed. Like, lets talk about something else already. I have finally stopped saying, "no, I still have ___ many pound to lose," or something like that. Now I just say, yes, I am thankyou! And if they want to keep talking about it, I will tell them all the hard work it has taken me to lose weight.
    The other thing, and I'm not sure if this is true for you, or if it is just me, but I was the big girl for so long that I don't really know how to accept the compliment. I liked the person I was, I'm the same person, just smaller. Hard to be the skinny girl now. Gives you some perspective on how the other thinner (or just not really large) people feel when you comment on their looks/size.
  • Dtrmnd1
    Dtrmnd1 Posts: 72 Member
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    They were two sided for me at first two, meaning they were judging grumpy comments. I say accept as a compliment that means you are reaching your goal!! Good for you!!!
  • RubberyDucky
    RubberyDucky Posts: 5
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    The first time I lost alot of weight. (this time I'm keeping it off), I got that a lot and felt the exact same way. When I went shopping I would buy the clothes I thought I should fit into which were always entirely too big. I think if you are used to being a little bigger it sometimes takes a little bit for your mind to catch up with your body. Dont be too focused on what you still want to do and enjoy where you are at now. I agree the comments are weird but it also personally made me feel good and the more I heard it, the more I believed it. Good job sister!!!!
  • Neize
    Neize Posts: 301 Member
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    I have several people who tell me not to lose anymore weight. Thanksgiving I had family members who kept saying don't lose another pound but I still feel as though I have more weight to lose. So, I'm not worrying about what anyone else have to say because I'm doing this for me!!!
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I think it's a little of both. When we lose weight, the people around us can often over-react. I have a friend who lost 150 lb. and her family started raging on her that she was "too skinny" and one nasty relative told her she looked like a crack *kitten*. But her BMI was 30 -- that's technically still obese!!

    So, clearly, they were thinking she was skinnier than she was, probably because it was such a dramatic change to them.

    OTOH, I have friends who lost that kind of weight and still see a Morbidly Obese chick in the mirror -- sometimes even when they are a size 0-4!

    So, clearly, they aren't seeing themselves realistically either.

    I have this theory that everyone has a mental picture of themselves and for most of us that mental image is either skinnier or fatter than we really are. I know when I was over 225, I didn't think I was THAT fat. Then I'd see pictures of me and be horrified at how fat I was. But at some point, as I lost weight, I got skinnier than my mental image and then every time I looked in the mirror I'd think I'd lost more weight when I hadn't -- because I was smaller than I was expecting to see.

    I think I have a pretty close mental picture now though. But I've been around this weight for 1.5 years so I've had time to get used to it. And I still sometimes get fooled -- it's just now it's in both directions (sometimes I think I'm bigger, sometimes smaller).
  • msbanana
    msbanana Posts: 793 Member
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    I'm starting to get that too. I'm far from skinny but people are saying it. I assume it's supposed to be a compliment but it's a little unnerving sometimes. My friends have been pretty cool about not making comments about my weight unless I bring it up. But co-workers and people I know just socially are the worst. Just the other day I was meeting up with friends and one of the guys that I'm aquaintences with greets me "Damn! Hey skinny!" I was taken a back and a little offended. I try to just shake it off and if it bothers me too badly I'll say something. Thing is I plan on considerably changing my body composition even though I'm almost at my weight goal so I wonder what they're going to say when I get where I want to be... :ohwell:
  • megsta21
    megsta21 Posts: 506 Member
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    You will always be your own worst critic...

    Do you remember (if it happened to you) looking back at photos when you were bigger thinking "OMG I was actually Skinny then?? How didnt I know? Why did I still think i was fat?" Thats what most ppl do....

    I suggest if you have had this moment of revelation... go back to that / those photos and have a good look.... now... take a photo of you now, then stick them together somewhere you can see them... and every time you look at them together you will remember that feeling of (so Skinny back then) and look at the now photo and realise your skinny now too.... or not necessarily "skinny" but def look good!
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
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    People say this to me sometimes. I'm tiny on top though, like if you proportioned my whole body to my forearms I would probably be a size 4 (I'm an 8-10) So, i can pull off looking thin enough when I have certain clothes on. But, stick me in a bathing suit, and other than people who are larger and comparing myself to themselves (much as I do with myself smaller gals!) there is no doubt that i have plenty to work on!

    on a different note, even if I were thinner and OK with how I look (like right now, I am "OK" with it, I know I am healthy, but I do not like how I look), but even at a smaller weight, if anything jiggled I think I would always have the poor self esteem to think I was still fatter than I should be. The only difference between a lot of women and anorexic women is willpower. (I am NOT calling it healthy or good, I am just saying that there are probably a lot of women who will never reach a dangerously low weight who still see themselves through the same eyes as an anorexic views herself.)
  • charmed2570
    charmed2570 Posts: 48
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    Ok, my problem is on the flip side, how do you deal with going from a size 16, well really should have been an 18, to now a size 10, and No-one notices at all? I have lost 35 lbs. and have not received 1 comment, so see it could be worse, they could not be telling you anything, trust me it sucks. But, I notice every time I put those jeans on and they say size 10! Good luck and remember as long as the pants keep getting smaller, and you notice, it will all workout in the end! In my case maybe when I am in my 2 piece next summer they will notice, or maybe when I run that 5k, they will notice, I think they might! lol
  • lastchance2010
    lastchance2010 Posts: 500 Member
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    yeh, i dunno how to react cuz i've gained and lost 100+ lbs at LEAST 2x's in my life. And this last stint that I lost like 60lbs my ma called me skinny:blushing: ...I was 220lbs...i by NO MEANS felt skinny...but it felt nice..not to mention the fact that I didn't get n e clothes and when I did i was in a 13/14 from a 22. But it didn't last long and when I look at those capris I can't believe I was that small... I'm not sure how to feel when ppl say or notice my weight loss I just say thank you and keep it movin cuz I know i have ALOT of weight to lose. I say take it in stride and pay it forward. if the ppl saying these things to you need motivation..ur just the gal to get them on the same page so instead of "hating" u they can b loving the fact that now the shoe is on the other foot and y'all can be HOT MAMAS! LOL and congrats on the weight loss and enjoy your clothes shopping when u do go. :flowerforyou:
  • xarrium
    xarrium Posts: 432 Member
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    I feel exactly that way... I've had a family member who's a practicing doctor tell me that I've gotten too skinny, but I don't see it. I think my issue is that I know which parts of my body I want to cut the fat from and I don't see much difference in those areas, despite the fact that there's obvious weight loss from other areas. I guess it's a continuous process, both physically and mentally, to get to where you're happy with yourself just how you are.

    Congrats on your weight loss!

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