Thinking it's worse than it is

It is perfectly fine to go over every once in a while as long as you stay consistent with the deficit you will lose weight. I have a proper cheat meal every second Sunday (4000+ calories) to curb my cravings.

I was absolutely sure i'd gone over my goal the past two days. I literally thought I'd have bloated like a whale and completely negated my fast days by making up for the deficit ughhh. But I actually logged them today and I stayed to my goal thank GOD. As it happens though I am absolutely FULL of salt. Drank 3 liters of water since last night when we had pizza and I've only peed once

Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever think you've completely gone over and it turns out ok?

Also I found out where bfs been hiding my scales since i asked him to a few months ago so i should be able to get a little motivated soon. scared of what they say though

LOL how tall are you and how much do you weigh?

To be fair, if you log your meals 2 days later... it's probably not accurate anyway. I assume you didn't weigh them...

they were literally all processed food lol, the calories are on the menu and i could tell you what i ate this day last year, i dare you. it's one of my talents. an elephant never forgets :P

I think I could tell you what you ate a year ago too. And last week. You need professional help.

Agreed.

no, i only go to my doctor for contraception now, nothing else. and my recovery's gone on long enough now that i can say it's done i'm being careful, it's ok

ED does not have a cure. It's a lifelong battle of addiction. There are plenty of warning signs jumping out right now, particularly the "I enjoy fasting" statement. Fasting is not in itself bad, but for those of us in recovery, it's very slippery slope.

If you're in a spot where you're hiding scales, that tells me that you've got some obsessive compulsive issues that you really shouldn't be ignoring.

Also the fact that you were inpatient for suicidal ideation as recently as December, I find it incredibly hard to believe that your doctor's have released you from care. Choosing to stop against doctor's advice is not the same as being "okay."

Your photos are a mini-parade of anorexia glorification. Please, get some help.

i didn't say that my ed was over, it never will be. i'm jsut saying recovery is.

and also guys, you literally have no idea what you're talking about re professional help. in the uk you don't GET professional help until you're dying, and certainly not after you're done with the dying stuff, you're ok then right? you get a years wait for an appointment with a therapist, then every two weeks you might see someone, but not actual cbt, and not unless your body is collapsing. please believe me, any exception to this is an anomaly, not the rule.

There are definitely exceptions to this. You just have to be willing to put up some money and seek the help. There are also plenty of recovery programs available internationally to provide support at little to no cost.

I *do* know what I'm talking about, but it's easy to say someone doesn't when they say something you don't want to hear.

Recovery is never over. It's obvious that the ED is not in remission.

december TWENTY TWELVE if you read properly. and i actually find that quite offensive, my photos are a personal motivation of when i was happiest with my weight. not when i'd destroyed my life, when i was maintaining ok without being so unhappy

Your profile does not say it was 2012. It says "in December" and Frankly, if you're offended, then maybe you should think about it. Showing off your spinal column is sickly. That's the truth.

I'm not trying to be insulting or anything of the sort. My point is, we're reading this and we don't see what you're talking about as being terrible. I'm in recovery, and I've taught myself that it's okay to relax and eat delicious things, enjoy food without using it as a punishment.

i didn't say that my ed was over, it never will be. i'm jsut saying recovery is.

and also guys, you literally have no idea what you're talking about re professional help. in the uk you don't GET professional help until you're dying, and certainly not after you're done with the dying stuff, you're ok then right? you get a years wait for an appointment with a therapist, then every two weeks you might see someone, but not actual cbt, and not unless your body is collapsing. please believe me, any exception to this is an anomaly, not the rule.

There are definitely exceptions to this. You just have to be willing to put up some money and seek the help. There are also plenty of recovery programs available internationally to provide support at little to no cost.

I *do* know what I'm talking about, but it's easy to say someone doesn't when they say something you don't want to hear.

Recovery is never over. It's obvious that the ED is not in remission.

i'm done talking to you now, because your attitude is quite horrible. you don't know me or what is going on in my head or how much better my life is now i have it back. i'm not going to throw it away. and in the uk SCALES is the SINGULAR for scale, i have one PAIR OF SCALES. therefore he hid my SCALES. jesus.

support progammes take you when you have enough money to pay, or you are dying so they have to help you. to someone who is a healthy weight and displaying no behaviours, even if i needed therapy i wouldn't get it

*shrugs* Can't say I didn't try.

Yes, I occasionally get myself completely panicked because I think I've gone way over where I'm supposed to be and am convinced that I'm going to blow up like a balloon. (Edited to say that I almost always find that I haven't gone over at all and am just panicking because I'm stressed about something else).

It's because I have a history of unhealthy eating patterns and a messed up relationship with food, which I'm trying desperately to correct. It's not healthy or normal. It's gotten much, much better recently that I've been really working on my issues with food.

I was absolutely sure i'd gone over my goal the past two days. I literally thought I'd have bloated like a whale and completely negated my fast days by making up for the deficit ughhh. But I actually logged them today and I stayed to my goal thank GOD. As it happens though I am absolutely FULL of salt. Drank 3 liters of water since last night when we had pizza and I've only peed once

Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever think you've completely gone over and it turns out ok?

Also I found out where bfs been hiding my scales since i asked him to a few months ago so i should be able to get a little motivated soon. scared of what they say though

You said you are in recovered from an ED but hiding scales and your food diary indicate otherwise. That concerns me. I'm sure you know what you should be doing. I really don't want to make you feel worse than you do. It also concerns me that you are not urinating properly given the amount you drank in water. There is a reason for that and I doubt that it is water retention from salt. One possibility is kidney failure. In my opinion is you should see a doctor immediately to address what could be a life threatening symptom .

To answer your question, I don't feel guilty or concerned over anything I eat. Life is too short for that! My goal is fitness and I've always been within the healthy weight range for my height and age. Still, while losing weight and getting fit, if I go over that day's food goal, I simply chuck it up to 'it happens and tomorrow's another day". Seriously, for me one day under or one day over will not make much difference. For you though, being consistently under is definitely having an effect. One day over your goal is likely a good thing! You are a beautiful person. Don't let this destroy you!