When to accept your body

Of course there are always things you COULD improve when it comes to your body. At what point do you accept that those things can't be changed much by exercise and dieting just because that's how you're made? Do I sound like a wuss when it comes to losing weight? I've lost over 35 pounds on my journey and I'm certainly no Victoria's Secret model and I don't have the hardest body but I'm starting to things that that's okay!

Replies

  • bms34b
    bms34b Posts: 401 Member
    If you're healthy and you're happy, love yourself and start for maintenance! Congratulations! :)
  • Never.

    Quickest way to a relapse is to become satisfied with yourself.

    Honestly, sounds extreme, but most people who reach their goals, lose motivation.

    Set new goals: Build muscle, become leaner, run a marathon, swim 10k whatever you fancy just don't stop.

    :)
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
    Never.

    Quickest way to a relapse is to become satisfied with yourself.

    Honestly, sounds extreme, but most people who reach their goals, lose motivation.

    Set new goals: Build muscle, become leaner, run a marathon, swim 10k whatever you fancy just don't stop.

    :)

    I must strongly disagree with this. If you enjoy feeling like a constant failure then by all means never try and be satisfied with who you are. But being satisfied with who you are is not the same as being complacent about your faults. When you stop viewing exercise and food as punishment, and start viewing them as a source of nourishment, it will do wonders for overall self-acceptance and for sustaining a positive relationship with food. People who think "I am never allowed to feel satisfied with who I am" inevitably miss out on the best behavioural modifier ever: positive reinforcement!
  • alexis831
    alexis831 Posts: 469 Member
    You look fine by me girly! Its all in how bad you want it or if you are okay with how you are now. Its okay to maintain if you are okay with that. I wouldn't give up though if you want something specific. Were you unhappy with any parts particularly we can help you out on? I think as women we will always be unhappy with something, lol.
  • Never.

    Quickest way to a relapse is to become satisfied with yourself.

    Honestly, sounds extreme, but most people who reach their goals, lose motivation.

    Set new goals: Build muscle, become leaner, run a marathon, swim 10k whatever you fancy just don't stop.

    :)

    I must strongly disagree with this. If you enjoy feeling like a constant failure then by all means never try and be satisfied with who you are. But being satisfied with who you are is not the same as being complacent about your faults. When you stop viewing exercise and food as punishment, and start viewing them as a source of nourishment, it will do wonders for overall self-acceptance and for sustaining a positive relationship with food. People who think "I am never allowed to feel satisfied with who I am" inevitably miss out on the best behavioural modifier ever: positive reinforcement!

    Fair play, as far as a disagreement comment goes it's well justified and I can definitely see your point.

    From my experience, the line between self-acceptance and complacency is far too thin. You only have to look at all the MFP who are on maintenance complaining about how difficult they find it because they begin binging. Not to mention that 4 out of 5 people who lose more than 5kg of body fat regain it within 3 years.

    Relapse is a serious problem. I am not suggesting that you do not give yourself credit for what you have achieved, just that you keep pushing forward and strive for the next goal. That shouldn't make you feel like a failure, but should make you feel a sense of accomplishment and something to strive for.

    I do not disagree with your post, but perhaps my response was too opinionated. It is probably a case where it works for some and not others.

    Cheers, Mike.
  • for losing weight: when you find a happy medium between your activity level, the amount of calories you're allowed so you can have food you enjoy and your body image

    for getting swole: never. the day you started weight lifting was the day you became Forever Small
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
    I think it's totally healthy to get to a point where you decide that more fitness/weight loss isn't something you need to do. For some people, fitness is a great hobby, and they are motivated by continually improving athletically and aesthetically. It seems like most of us need goals or we lose motivation, so getting stronger or leaner keeps us going. But the idea that you need to be constantly improving your body is BS, in my mind. Get your body to where it serves you and your needs- feels good, looks good enough for you to be confident, allows you to do fun things.

    I go back and forth with this- I'm already at a healthy weight and fit enough to do most of the activities I want to do, so I'm well aware that the "second 10 pounds" are completely for vanity reasons. I have other goals- I want to be stronger and more flexible, and do an obstacle race, none of which require me to lose more weight. Vanity is pretty motivating, though!
  • I think it's totally healthy to get to a point where you decide that more fitness/weight loss isn't something you need to do. For some people, fitness is a great hobby, and they are motivated by continually improving athletically and aesthetically. It seems like most of us need goals or we lose motivation, so getting stronger or leaner keeps us going. But the idea that you need to be constantly improving your body is BS, in my mind. Get your body to where it serves you and your needs- feels good, looks good enough for you to be confident, allows you to do fun things.

    I go back and forth with this- I'm already at a healthy weight and fit enough to do most of the activities I want to do, so I'm well aware that the "second 10 pounds" are completely for vanity reasons. I have other goals- I want to be stronger and more flexible, and do an obstacle race, none of which require me to lose more weight. Vanity is pretty motivating, though!

    Vanity is a phenomenal motivator!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I posted something similar earlier. I'm a bit in the same boat, lol. I think I'll reach my goal and stop there, even if I'm not totally satisfied.
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
    Never.

    Quickest way to a relapse is to become satisfied with yourself.

    Honestly, sounds extreme, but most people who reach their goals, lose motivation.

    Set new goals: Build muscle, become leaner, run a marathon, swim 10k whatever you fancy just don't stop.

    :)

    I must strongly disagree with this. If you enjoy feeling like a constant failure then by all means never try and be satisfied with who you are. But being satisfied with who you are is not the same as being complacent about your faults. When you stop viewing exercise and food as punishment, and start viewing them as a source of nourishment, it will do wonders for overall self-acceptance and for sustaining a positive relationship with food. People who think "I am never allowed to feel satisfied with who I am" inevitably miss out on the best behavioural modifier ever: positive reinforcement!

    Fair play, as far as a disagreement comment goes it's well justified and I can definitely see your point.

    From my experience, the line between self-acceptance and complacency is far too thin. You only have to look at all the MFP who are on maintenance complaining about how difficult they find it because they begin binging. Not to mention that 4 out of 5 people who lose more than 5kg of body fat regain it within 3 years.

    Relapse is a serious problem. I am not suggesting that you do not give yourself credit for what you have achieved, just that you keep pushing forward and strive for the next goal. That shouldn't make you feel like a failure, but should make you feel a sense of accomplishment and something to strive for.

    I do not disagree with your post, but perhaps my response was too opinionated. It is probably a case where it works for some and not others.

    Cheers, Mike.

    I definitely see your point...I think it's probably not complacency that makes people regain or binge, though -- it's restrictive or unsustainable patterns in the first place. But, yeah, I accept that for each person the line between complacency and satisfaction can be different or blurry. And I agree with striving for new and better stuff...I think that's important, just that you can do that from a point of satisfaction.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    Do you make your living from modeling? No? Then nobody should expect you to look like one :)

    Perfection is an overrated goal. Enjoy yourself and don't sweat the small stuff. At least don't make yourself crazy with it. If you'd like to throw in a few things to try to get closer to perfect and don't mind doing them (and they are healthy, mind you), then go for it. But it's not important, no.

    OTOH, I don't consider fitness optional. A certain amount of fitness is important for health, so health goals should remain regardless of looks or weight, BMI, etc.
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
    From the sound of your post- You are where you should be- I would put myself on maintenance at this point ! CONGRATS !! You look great !
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    For me, I only really accepted my body and stopped struggling against myself AFTER I had kids. I know this is going to sound like some crunchy, hippie, bs; but after I had kids, I realized the power of my body. When I accepted it for what it was...I was able to change my way of thinking...stopped focusing on the stupid little flaws that I saw...but no one else noticed.

    Funny thing though...once the way I thought about my body changed, so changed the way I treated my body. I cut back on the endless cardio, started strength-training, started cutting out most of the processed crap I was still eating, cut back on sugar (but I still love chocolate). At 34, I am in the best shape of my life!
  • iggylove123
    iggylove123 Posts: 302
    I'm going to keep exercising every day (or at least 5 times a week) just because it's a stress reliever! But I also don't want to keep restricting my food intake to under 1500 calories a day. I'm a larger framed 5'9.5'" inch woman. It's not realistic to want to weigh 145 and be a size 6 for my specific body type, you know?
  • SwampWitch666
    SwampWitch666 Posts: 110 Member
    I'll never be satisfied. There are always ways to better yourself. I can't imagine a period of time where I just became complacent. It's not in my nature. Keep moving forward!

    "Self-improvement is *kitten*." - Fight Club
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    the answer to when to accept your body: now always now. be proud of all the hard work and all the good things you have done for your body.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I'm a firm believer that you should love yourself no matter what your body size and flaws are. Self love starts on the inside, and if you can't love and accept yourself as heavy then you'll have a hard time loving yourself no matter how small you get.

    That said, self acceptance is kay. There really are things about ourselves that we can't change, and other things that might change over time with proper exercise and healthy eating. You never know. The important thing, in my opinion, is to accept yourself as you are now, even if there are things you would like to change.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    When I'm dead. I love me, but I love me more when I push myself
  • ATGsquats
    ATGsquats Posts: 227 Member
    Never...
  • ATGsquats
    ATGsquats Posts: 227 Member
    I'll never be satisfied. There are always ways to better yourself. I can't imagine a period of time where I just became complacent. It's not in my nature. Keep moving forward!

    "Self-improvement is *kitten*." - Fight Club

    I like that attitude!
  • It is ok!!!!

    I am happy with me now, but I think I have a long way to go. If I never get there that will be ok. It would be nice if I do though.
    I guess it depends on what I really want. I guess I can't really answer this question:)
  • seoseo123
    seoseo123 Posts: 8 Member
    wow.. Congrats on the weight loss! for me. the first thing I do is accept my body. I realized that I can't keep looking so disappointed when I see myself in the mirror or a reflection of myself. So for me I do it first and then I try to fix it. I mean if your weight won't go down anymore. You can try to get toned! :D
  • ComradeTovarich
    ComradeTovarich Posts: 495 Member
    I want to say that there's a difference between accepting your body and being complacent, but honestly once I drop all this weight I plan on lifting more and bulking, because I know I'm not going to be satisfied with the way I look. Rather, maybe it's a difference between accepting who you are and being satisfied. I can accept who I am because I'm trying my hardest to change, but that doesn't mean I'm satisfied with myself.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    Everybody has a different point with their weight where they will feel comfortable and content which will vary from person to person. Once you're at a healthy weight I think that it largely doesn't really matter from a broad perspective. There will be a different point for everybody where the lifestyle sacrifices required to cut that extra bit of body fat will no longer be worth it. Not only that generally, the leaner you get the harder it is to cut more bf and the more strict and tightly controlled you need to be with your diet.

    If you're healthy and happy then maintain away. It's not like maintenance is a permanant decision anyway. You can always maintain for a little while and then decide to cut some more at an appropriate time.

    I think once the weight loss is largely finished it helps to set fitness goals so you can keep up a healthy lifestyle
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    To even start losing weight I had to accept my body.

    I used to just ignore it, cover it up with layers of clothes, wear a lot of make-up and do my hair, draw attention away from my body.

    To commit to changing, I had to look at myself and say "so this is what I have to work with".

    I work out and fuel my body because I love it and I want it to be stronger, faster, healthier. If it looks better in the process, that's great! Accept yourself from the start and focus on how to improve a little every day.

    "Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own."
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
    For it's like...never...I know I will always look at those thinner leaner women and hate myself for being stupid and not able to lose weight.
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
    my mother was of the opinion that she could always lose 10lbs and subsequently she was never happy with her body. As she gained weight with the time (she was always yoyo dieting) she became hated it more and more, but nevertheless the weight kept piling on. I don't want to live like this. I watch what I eat (less stringent now, because I am on maintenance) and I do some exercise. I look at myself and remind myself that I have been pregnant a couple of times and that I am getting older and that wrinkles are part of life.

    Self-acceptance is crucial for me to lead a happy life :-)
  • jenna808
    jenna808 Posts: 79 Member
    It wasn't until recently that I started to accept my body, after spending most of my adult life wishing it was different. I'm never going to be tiny, always be pear shaped, and my bone structure will never change, and all of that is okay. However, that doesn't mean that I'm not working towards making it the best machine it can be. I decided to work with what I've got, and make it a strong and amazing body, and push myself to do more things than I ever thought I could. So I say accept your body for the things you cannot change, and push hard for your goals on the things you can and treat it with the respect it deserves, regardless of what shape it's currently in.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
    It wasn't until recently that I started to accept my body, after spending most of my adult life wishing it was different. I'm never going to be tiny, always be pear shaped, and my bone structure will never change, and all of that is okay. However, that doesn't mean that I'm not working towards making it the best machine it can be. I decided to work with what I've got, and make it a strong and amazing body, and push myself to do more things than I ever thought I could. So I say accept your body for the things you cannot change, and push hard for your goals on the things you can and treat it with the respect it deserves, regardless of what shape it's currently in.

    Although I have been a failure when it comes to weight loss but I still think it's me not being able to work it out...I can't accept that I can't change my weight but the reality is...I haven't been able to change it much. See? I am at a dead end...
  • Julesdublin
    Julesdublin Posts: 39 Member
    I think Nature hasn’t produced just one type of bird, flower, tree, rock…why should it produce just one type of person? We are all different. Some pear shaped, others apple shaped, some with stumpy legs and others are quite lean. It’s just to make life interesting.
    We are bombarded by a beauty ideal that it’s unattainable. We are comparing ourselves to computer generated images and getting depressed over having a bit of cellulite, a stretch mark here and there, a bit of a belly and it wouldn’t surprise me that some of us are upset with the fact that we even have pores.
    I want to go back to my previous shape – and that shape was far from perfect. But the way my body is/was has never stopped me living my life. I’ve travelled the world, lived in 4 different countries, dated some pretty hot men, went to amazing parties, lived and learned. And I bless that. I am extremely grateful that regardless a bit of extra weight that I am carrying at the moment I am healthy. And this extra weight will go away because I am working on it. I just know so and every time I step on the scale and I see I lost a wee bit it makes me happy. And if I don’t lose as much during one week I don’t stress myself as I can lose more on the week after. I don’t sweat the small stuff.
    I accept myself fully. More important than being thin is being happy and my happiness depends in loads of different factors. Not only how much I weigh.