What do you think of the term BBW/SSBBW

2

Replies

  • Sarahs2576
    Sarahs2576 Posts: 418 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super saiyan big beautiful woman.

    Ohhh!! Super Sized Big Beautiful Women,!! I had no flippin' clue what this meant!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Can you call him a BHM?
  • TorontoDiane
    TorontoDiane Posts: 1,413 Member
    edited by TorontoDiane
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super saiyan big beautiful woman.

    Dude, I'd take it if it meant Super Saiyan!!!! Who doesn't want all the power that comes with that!?

    http://www.craigaddyman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/288772-super_saiyan_2_veigto.jpg

    *ETA- I clearly do not know how to post links for images..
  • ComradeTovarich
    ComradeTovarich Posts: 495 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super saiyan big beautiful woman.

    Dude, I'd take it if it meant Super Saiyan!!!! Who doesn't want all the power that comes with that!?

    http://www.craigaddyman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/288772-super_saiyan_2_veigto.jpg

    *ETA- I clearly do not know how to post links for images..

    Just type in the tags [ img ] [ /img ] and paste the link between them. (also remove the spaces in the tags themselves, I just put them there so the post wouldn't eat them again).
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    I hate it. If other people want to label themselves as that, cool. If people have fetishes, cool...do I want to be associated with that or the abbreviation? No. I find it in the same realm of guys saying "they like a girl that isn't stick thin" or something like that. I think they try to make it sound like "it's okay that you look like that because I like that body type" but how it comes off is "you're fat/large/big/etc but that's okay cause I like that" which is NOT a compliment. I find it insulting. If you like me (or don't like me) you don't need to point out my body type as a reason. I'm aware that I'm not a tiny person, YOU DON'T NEED TO POINT IT OUT...and if you like or don't like me, as I said, you don't need to say my body type is the reason you like or don't like me... like why is that relevant? I think it comes off super creepy...and like you said, it is associated with a lot of porn and fetish sites - which makes me think that they have some type of fetish and that's not cool. It honestly irks me. I really don't like it.

    and again as you touched on, as a person who is trying to live a healthier life by losing weight/inches and getting smaller... that is even more of a non-compliment.
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    "Big Beautiful Woman" means fat. That's all. If you think someone is beautiful, just say she's beautiful.

    Right?! I feel like its the same things as saying "You're pretty for a fat girl."
    It's just backhanded. And even coming from a guy who prefers bigger girls, its just weird. If he calls you that and you know he prefers bigger girls then it goes back to the fetish thing. It's an endless cycle.

    yes this!
  • CharleePear
    CharleePear Posts: 1,948 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.

    Yeah, this. I'm always getting stared at cuz of my big boobs!

    Tell me about it! I have Triple D's and whenever a guy finds that out, it's like all I am now is a pair of tits.

    Tell me about it I am a 34 G

    But seriously I hate been called a BBW. One being I hate being "big" I want to be small and it just points out the added fat I don't want to exist on my body. Secondly in my experiences when people call me that it's like they think just cos I am a bigger girl I am easy and desperate, I am NOT! I have two reactions depending on my self esteem and mood and that's either laughing it off but it really actually hurting a lot or a punch in the face. I am not more cushin for the pushin either! I don't care how much you think it's sexy to say it! It's not flattering and I hate being reduced to a fat girl to have sex with!
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super saiyan big beautiful woman.

    Dude, I'd take it if it meant Super Saiyan!!!! Who doesn't want all the power that comes with that!?

    288772-super_saiyan_2_veigto.jpg

    *ETA- I clearly do not know how to post links for images..

    Just type in the tags [ img ] [ /img ] and paste the link between them. (also remove the spaces in the tags themselves, I just put them there so the post wouldn't eat them again).

    I did that, but apparently it doesn't like uppercase, so that must have been my issue.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I'm guessing he probably meant well...however, that term is also not my favorite. If you don't like, just tell him!
  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
    I've seen a lot of women seem to take a lot of pride in calling themselves BBW, so maybe he thinks you want to be called that. I doubt he meant harm. He probably tried and failed to flatter you. Of course if someone called me a BBW I would be mad as hell! Lol :D

    Anyway, just tell him "Hey, I really hate the term BBW. I appreciate you calling me beautiful, but I am working on losing weight so I am trying to distance myself from the 'big' part."

    Don't expect a man to guess what you are thinking. Just tell him in as frank of terms as you can exactly what you are thinking or how you feel. Men don't work the same way women work.
  • Perplexities
    Perplexities Posts: 612 Member
    I've seen a lot of women seem to take a lot of pride in calling themselves BBW, so maybe he thinks you want to be called that. I doubt he meant harm. He probably tried and failed to flatter you. Of course if someone called me a BBW I would be mad as hell! Lol :D

    Anyway, just tell him "Hey, I really hate the term BBW. I appreciate you calling me beautiful, but I am working on losing weight so I am trying to distance myself from the 'big' part."

    Don't expect a man to guess what you are thinking. Just tell him in as frank of terms as you can exactly what you are thinking or how you feel. Men don't work the same way women work.

    People like to glamorize their perceived short comings with labels that may seem more "acceptable" to come to terms with.

    For example "Thick," "Curvy," "BBW," etc.

    It makes the reality much less harsh, in the same way that belittling someones "Success." can make someone who may be guilty of not achieving the same success, or envious of the the success of someone else, feel better.

    It's human nature, and It happens all the time on this forum, a fitness forum of all places.

    Every time a Healthy girl, at a healthy weight makes a picture thread, there's usually 3 pages of Self-Proclaimed "Curvy" women telling her she's too skinny, or she needs to gain weight, or she should do X,Y or Z to be more like them.

    Then when someone who's considered medically overweight, makes a thread, generally a "progress thread" Implying she's still on her Journey.
    Those same girls jump in to tell her she's "Perfect" and the way a "Real Woman" should look, which is implying anyone who isn't like this, isn't a "real woman."

    If you like being "overweight" I really couldn't care any less, but in the same sense Person A shouldn't tell person B to lose weight, Person B shouldn't tell person A to gain weight.

    There's also no non-malicious reason person B should imply "real women have curves" or any of those other ridiculous cliche statements.
  • ashleyblossom1
    ashleyblossom1 Posts: 699 Member
    I've seen a lot of women seem to take a lot of pride in calling themselves BBW, so maybe he thinks you want to be called that. I doubt he meant harm. He probably tried and failed to flatter you. Of course if someone called me a BBW I would be mad as hell! Lol :D

    Anyway, just tell him "Hey, I really hate the term BBW. I appreciate you calling me beautiful, but I am working on losing weight so I am trying to distance myself from the 'big' part."

    Don't expect a man to guess what you are thinking. Just tell him in as frank of terms as you can exactly what you are thinking or how you feel. Men don't work the same way women work.

    People like to glamorize their short comings with terms such as "thick" "Curvy" and "BBW."

    It's human nature, and It happens all the time on this forum, a fitness forum of all places.

    Every time a Healthy girl, at a healthy weight makes a picture thread, there's usually 3 pages of Self-Proclaimed "Curvy" women telling her she's too skinny, or she needs to gain weight, or she should do X,Y or Z to be more like them.

    Then when someone who's considered medically overweight, makes a thread, generally a "progress thread" Implying she's still on her Journey.
    Those same girls jump in to tell her she's "Perfect" and the way a "Real Woman" should look, which is implying anyone who isn't like this, isn't a "real woman."

    I wouldn't call it glamorizing their short comings. If people want to use terms like "thick" and "curvy" to make them feel good about themselves then good for them. People always talk bad about the people using them. I'd rather a person feel confident no matter what he/ she looks like and whatever they need to do or say to themselves to feel that way is none of my business.

    The only I don't like is body shaming from either side of the spectrum. Perfection doesn't exist. No one should force their views of perfection on anyone else. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Instead of fat people messing with skinny people and skinny people messing with fat people, we should all be supporting each other. As long as everyone is happy with their self I'm happy for them.
  • Perplexities
    Perplexities Posts: 612 Member
    If you're medically obese, and calling yourself "thick," or "Curvy." makes you feel better about being medically obese, then to yourself at least you're considering those two terms to be of lesser consequential value than "medically obese." that's deducting from any aspirations to be anything other than the aforementioned.

    Which is glamorizing the reality.
  • ashleyblossom1
    ashleyblossom1 Posts: 699 Member
    There is a middle between thin and medically obese. Some of the people in the middle use them. And again, why is it anyone's business what people say to themselves as long as they are happy. If they aren't happy then that's a different story. I personally don't like some of the terms but I won't shame another person for saying them to their self if it floats their boat. Its their business. Not everyone has the same beauty standards.
  • TorontoDiane
    TorontoDiane Posts: 1,413 Member
    edited
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super saiyan big beautiful woman.
    SPAT MY GUM OUT!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    . All women deserve to be treated like a queen and like a woman should be with love and care and respect and honesty.
    Knew the white knights would show up............way to put it on a pedestal
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    Well, I'm a guy...and I don't like the term either. I would not want to be called it if I were a woman. But it's better than fat, imho. It implies that one can be fit and a bit bigger. That's a positive thing in my my book. So it's not a terrible term. Just not my favorite one.

    Most people do not think of the term BBW to relate to someone who is a bit bigger, but fit. If that was the case I think it'd be an okay term. Personally, I feel stuck in the middle. I'm not that big, I've played sports my entire life, I'm constantly at the gym. But I am certainly not small either. And just because a person is small doesn't mean that they exercise or eat right.
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    I always see it as a really backhanded compliment. And maybe most guys say it with good intentions, and think it will be taken as a compliment. But, if I am beautiful, I am beautiful. I am not beautiful because of my size and the fact that you have a thing for bigger girls. And, I am certainly not beautiful in spite of my size. Girls are more emotional than guys and they read into things more, and maybe that is why some of us are sensitive to be called a BBW.
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    Can you call him a BHM?

    I personally love using the term "Big Hunk of Man" but I am in no way a chubby chaser. I use it to refer to guys who are really well built, lets just say haha. My friends make fun of me because when we see a cute guy, I will say "Look at that big hunk of man!" but its not something I would call a guy to his face.
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    I've seen a lot of women seem to take a lot of pride in calling themselves BBW, so maybe he thinks you want to be called that. I doubt he meant harm. He probably tried and failed to flatter you. Of course if someone called me a BBW I would be mad as hell! Lol :D

    Anyway, just tell him "Hey, I really hate the term BBW. I appreciate you calling me beautiful, but I am working on losing weight so I am trying to distance myself from the 'big' part."

    Don't expect a man to guess what you are thinking. Just tell him in as frank of terms as you can exactly what you are thinking or how you feel. Men don't work the same way women work.

    People like to glamorize their perceived short comings with labels that may seem more "acceptable" to come to terms with.

    For example "Thick," "Curvy," "BBW," etc.

    It makes the reality much less harsh, in the same way that belittling someones "Success." can make someone who may be guilty of not achieving the same success, or envious of the the success of someone else, feel better.

    It's human nature, and It happens all the time on this forum, a fitness forum of all places.

    Every time a Healthy girl, at a healthy weight makes a picture thread, there's usually 3 pages of Self-Proclaimed "Curvy" women telling her she's too skinny, or she needs to gain weight, or she should do X,Y or Z to be more like them.

    Then when someone who's considered medically overweight, makes a thread, generally a "progress thread" Implying she's still on her Journey.
    Those same girls jump in to tell her she's "Perfect" and the way a "Real Woman" should look, which is implying anyone who isn't like this, isn't a "real woman."

    If you like being "overweight" I really couldn't care any less, but in the same sense Person A shouldn't tell person B to lose weight, Person B shouldn't tell person A to gain weight.

    There's also no non-malicious reason person B should imply "real women have curves" or any of those other ridiculous cliche statements.

    I'm really curious to see things from a guy's point of view, what you think of the terms curvy and thick. Most men I have talked to or dated don't relate being curvy or thick to being overweight. I won't call myself thick or curvy, but many men have used them to describe my body type. Most girls, however, use the labels "curvy" or "thick" as you said, to glamorize their perceived shortcomings. Do you/most guys you know think that there is a distinction between the terms curvy and thick and fat?
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    There is a middle between thin and medically obese. Some of the people in the middle use them. And again, why is it anyone's business what people say to themselves as long as they are happy. If they aren't happy then that's a different story. I personally don't like some of the terms but I won't shame another person for saying them to their self if it floats their boat. Its their business. Not everyone has the same beauty standards.

    The middle of those two terms is not a fun place to be. I hate being in the middle. When you're thin, I feel like you can look around and see that "ok, that girl's body kind of looks like mine" or "yeah we wear similar sizes" and when you're on the other end of the spectrum you can walk into a room and feel as though you are the largest person in the room. But being in the middle is hard, because you look around and you don't really see other people with your body type. And when I was younger, I found it was harder to pick out really stylish clothes because I didn't really see anyone my size wearing those things and I was self conscious about trying to pull them off.
  • BraveNewdGirl
    BraveNewdGirl Posts: 937 Member
    My biggest beef with threads like this is the undercurrent of sex-negativity. Having sexual preferences, even fetishes, doesn't make one a "degenerate", no matter how loudly bigots proclaim such.

    The title, in itself, isn't flattering to everyone and it isn't insulting to everyone. Just state your preferences and avoid dealing with those that don't respect them as much as possible!
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    (double posted...oops)
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    I was recently called a BBW by a guy I had been "talking to" for a few days. Personally, I do not like that word. I feel like my size should not be commented on if you are trying to call me beautiful. I am also not comfortable with the word because it has been taken out of its original context. It no longer means just Big Beautiful Woman. Today, when you google BBW the top results are porn and fetish sites. BBW is most commonly used in relation to porn and fetishes. I am not comfortable referring to myself as something in the same category as that. I think the most demeaning thing you can do is be someone's fetish.

    I don't want to rant. But its clear that being called a BBW, especially while trying to lose weight, was upsetting to me.
    I am interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions about the term BBW/SSBBW.

    I don't particularly mind being someone's fetish. I'm my b/f's fetish for what it's worth, BUT that's not ALL I am to him. I'm a person first and the object of his (fetishistic and non-fetishistic) desire later.

    As for the term BBW, sorry, but some Big Women are just not Beautiful...likewise with small and average sized women. I think BBW gets used as a blanket term for overweight women and, yes, it has been taken over by the fetish community. I do have a question: do you think you're an object of a foot fetishist's fetish if he/she comments on your pedicure? Or the object of a shoe fetishist if he/she comments on your shoes? Or that the guy doing that lame dance where he mimes spanking a butt is a sadist just because he's doing the lame dance? What I'm getting at is that while BDSM is becoming a more accepted part of out society, not all people who drop comments that seem fetishistic are actually fetishists.

    ...And you're right, your size should have nothing to do with whether or not your maybe love interest sees you as beautiful or not. I'd have been a bit more tactful and simply said "you're a beautiful woman" rather than "you're a BBW", which I think he should have done, especially if he KNOWS you are trying to lose weight (Does he know?)...but that's me. Also, as we got close, I might use the term, but not in the beginning.

    (edited to finish my thought...computer decided to submit before I was ready)
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super Sized Big Beautiful Woman

    meaning really, really, morbidly obese woman...forgive me if it sounds rude, but the woman who i wonder how her legs hold her up given how heavy she is.

  • People like to glamorize their perceived short comings with labels that may seem more "acceptable" to come to terms with.

    For example "Thick," "Curvy," "BBW," etc.

    It makes the reality much less harsh, in the same way that belittling someones "Success." can make someone who may be guilty of not achieving the same success, or envious of the the success of someone else, feel better.

    It's human nature, and It happens all the time on this forum, a fitness forum of all places.

    Every time a Healthy girl, at a healthy weight makes a picture thread, there's usually 3 pages of Self-Proclaimed "Curvy" women telling her she's too skinny, or she needs to gain weight, or she should do X,Y or Z to be more like them.

    Then when someone who's considered medically overweight, makes a thread, generally a "progress thread" Implying she's still on her Journey.
    Those same girls jump in to tell her she's "Perfect" and the way a "Real Woman" should look, which is implying anyone who isn't like this, isn't a "real woman."

    If you like being "overweight" I really couldn't care any less, but in the same sense Person A shouldn't tell person B to lose weight, Person B shouldn't tell person A to gain weight.

    There's also no non-malicious reason person B should imply "real women have curves" or any of those other ridiculous cliche statements.

    I agree with this. I have medically diagnosed morbidly obese friends who say they love their curves. Clearly they're trying to feel better about their shortcomings, because they will, in the same conversation, say they don't like the way they look. They're trying to justify their weight by making it sound nicer than it really is.

    I've never been very overweight, and I've always been the classic hourglass shape. Usually I wear a size 4-6, but I can't tell people I'm curvy anymore because they assume I'm overweight. My word has been hijacked, and I am being very candid when I say I really resent this. I'm not athletic, I'm not overweight, I'm not average, and I'm not slender. I'm curvy. BUT I CAN'T SAY THAT ANYMORE.

    I also hate the "real woman have" comments. Real women are women who are alive, that's it. I saw an article once titled, "Real Women DON'T Have Curves." It was about women who are underweight and people telling they're too skinny all the time. Real women are just women, the shape of their bodies don't decide if they're real or fake.
  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    My biggest beef with threads like this is the undercurrent of sex-negativity. Having sexual preferences, even fetishes, doesn't make one a "degenerate", no matter how loudly bigots proclaim such.

    ^^ This ^^ Thank you. Sex is normal and fun.

    /end thread
  • Also, chiming in again, I think the BBW moniker is allowing people to stay unhealthy and fool themselves into thinking they should ignore their weight. No one would think it's OK to send an anorexic that type of message.
This discussion has been closed.